What love made us do
by Addiescrown
Summary: An addek fanfic. What love made us do... after Addison finds Meredith Grey’s panties, and explains her feelings to Derek, she forgives him. Both work on their marriage again, finding love in each other. Eventually they conceive a baby girl! / just wanted my favorite couple back, so, i really hope you will like it.
1. Chapter 1

'What love made us do'

Chapter 1

When Addison found Meredith's panties, she just wanted to kill that blonde woman. She just needed to end her. Then she realized how crazy and insane her thoughts sounded like, she had to at least respect Derek decision on choosing her. Choosing Meredith Grey over her; Addison Montgomery. She felt so betrayed, he said things... she said things... the illusion of a new life with the love of her life was such a beautiful fairytale she really wanted to accomplish. _What can I do?_ She asked herself several times.

The crying wasn't stopping, her heart was aching so bad, she just wanted to throw stuff away, to break some plates and being embraced by two big warm arms. She was in love and couldn't deny it, she was regretting so much, every mistake, every disappointment, every fail. What am I supposed to do? Say "_I'm happy for you, Derek. But I low key keep breaking when I see you with that... girl._"? She felt so dirty.

She was starting to force herself to accept Derek didn't love her anymore.

Yes, she did commit a mistake, that costed her friendships and her own marriage, even a child; but she was a nice woman, who did mistakes, who was just human, and she just wanted to try to work things out, she didn't want to disappoint anyone else. She wasn't bad, she wasn't evil. For a moment she smiled; but then the smile broke with the old memories she and Derek had. Family brunches, leaving home in the middle of the night for a movie with him, the kisses, the fun... Derek. Cleaning those panties, and leaving them in the eyes of everyone, was her response. The sentence "I need the day off. For drinking." Was the only words Richard Webber heard from Addison that day, she just needed some alcohol. But What she truly wanted was her husband back into her arms, now her only medicine was licking her own scars with the company of some cheap tequila.

After work; at Joe's, Derek found Addison into a bottle of scotch, she was broken and didn't want anyone to even talk to her, except from the bar tender, because she had thought about getting drunker than ever. Derek couldn't believe the state his wife was in. He hated this. The way she was expressing her feelings.

"Addison..." Derek said, posing a hand on his wife's shoulder, sitting next to her, she didn't look into his eyes, like she used to. He was feeling sorry. Knowing Addison she was screaming inside and suffering deeply, at least he had some mercy for her, and decided to talk to her, or to let her talk. At least, to let her hear him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-" Addison looked at him filled by hate and pain.

"Want to love me again?" She asked, ending his sentence, obviously with her own words. Apparently she will not hear him.

"No, it is not that." Derek replied, he didn't know what else to do or say to her. Some part inside of him told him "_don't let her go! You love her. Catch her before she falls!"_ But then the memory of Mark coming out of the bathroom appeared in his mind and he was saying; _"Let her leave you alone."_

"Because it seems it is that way." A silence filled the room for both, Derek tried to hold her hand but she retracted her hand from his. She still loved him, deeply, recklessly.

"You know Derek, I danced that night with you; thinking I was coming back home holding your hand, feeling young again. I danced. You know I love dancing. I never danced this way with anyone but you. That night I was free, I was feeling special in that dress, with you. I have been trying. But you decided to have..." she couldn't finish the last sentence. "I can't be married to you, I can't be married to someone that doesn't really love me. I can't keep playing this game. It's too hard. It's too painful... and I seem to be failing all the time. You don't help! I- I can't..." She said, wiping a tear from her right eye.

She just started crying silently, trying not to be seen or heard. But it was late and most of the doctors, interns and residents where catching up over beers, and gossiping... mostly about that love triangle. "I'm even scared of sleeping in the same bed as you knowing that my presence bothers you since I first appeared here." Meredith saw Addison in the bar, she was seriously not looking good, Addison was capable of standing up and slapping her for being the mistress, but, she was concentrated on letting her feelings flow. She could _finally _told him every thought.

"Addison, I'm so sorry. I don't know what was on my mind, i was so happy with you... i just felt trapped." Derek said.

"Trapped in commitment?! You choose her. Derek, I love you... I loved you! And... now i don't know who you are. Are you the guy... Derek... Are you the man I married? The one that believed in second chances? The one that always tried? The one that loved me?!" A tear running down her cheek, Derek kept hearing and looking at those eyes filled by salty tears.

"Or, are you the one who cheats on his wife and then tries to help by posing a hand on my shoulder?" Addison snapped. Still drunk but knew what she was talking about. "I did cheated. And Mark is a jerk too... but, but i came back. At least I tried. And you keep yourself calm..." She took her hat, her keys and phone, she stood up from her seat, not knowing how; she left upset. She was maybe very drunk, but all she said was pure truth for her. Even Derek knew she was right.

Derek couldn't even reply. He looked outside, he ran looking for Addison, he realized she was right. Addison's words were true. Now Derek was the jerk rejecting her efforts. _I want to be that man again._

For some reason he reflected about Addison while walking towards his car, thinking she was now maybe at the trailer. He was also worried, maybe she was lost or something. He just knew Addison was someone important for him. His best friend, his partner in crime. He knew for her in many levels, they knew each other too much that it used to be annoying and even disgusting for everyone.

She was the love of his life. She had something that made Derek feel alive, but Meredith also had something special. The thing, it was that Addison was now changing and blooming; sharing those parts with him, he used to be all the time in a constant secret conversation with Meredith, where she was most of the time too scared to even talk about her feelings, or to show them. He felt sorry for both women. But mostly for Addie.

Meredith was the young one, the fresh crazy one, but... Addison was his old best friend, the one during the hard times, the one who helped his little sister once, the one that maybe cheated but came back to him, the one that was funny, this one was pure and a bomb of flavor. His perfect half.

He knew Addison never surrenders, but if she's already too tired, she's determinantes to go. Derek didn't want her to _go._

Coming back home, he could see Addison through the window of the trailer, she had a pillow between her arms and she was crying, she was suffering. Just like when she cheated and it was raining outside, just like when Derek closed the door in her face. He still couldn't forgive himself for how disrespectful that was, considering she is a woman, a lady, and she maybe committed several mistakes, but she was still a lady. Derek choose to stay in the car for some minutes, just to reflect about what to do inside of there.

_She's gonna hate me forever. She doesn't deserve me, I don't deserve someone so loyal like her, well... loyal like, trying and waiting for me to come around. She doesn't deserve me. Maybe this is my own revenge._ He thought to himself. He was being so revengeful towards her by cheating, just as she did. Now Meredith was some kind of toy, and Addison was the one who he picked first, she was his wife.

Addison was still in pain, yelling, crying, throwing pillows and shoes; making her own very show. When she heard the door of the trailer opening, she took a blanket and tried to calm down, laying down now In fetal position, to act calm and tired. She didn't want to talk, she wanted to act like she was sleeping. As always. She wanted to cry herself until reaching sleep.

"Addie... I am a jerk. I was a jerk, I... I don't deserve you. You came back for me, and I pissed you off twice by sleeping with Meredith. I played with both like... toys." Addison didn't move. "I know you want to cry. I feel so sorry. I am... I apologize." Derek Said honestly.

He didn't know what else to say, he was sad, seeing Addison this way. "Ads..." he said once again, Addison sniffed, covered her face with a hand and started crying again. _'Ads'_ was the last name Addison's mother used with her, Derek was the only one left calling her that way.

Derek took off his coat, and took a sit next to Addison, he rolled her, she tried to fight over him holding her, but couldn't help and fall into his arms. Just as she wanted. They almost kissed, but Derek just thought sex wasn't the answer, knowing them both, they needed their healing time. As individuals, they needed to heal, or to help each other heal.

"I promise you, I will try to make it up for you. You already tried too much... You deserve at least a second chance. I want to be that fresh man that married you and called you wife to piss you off" he smiled. Addison grinned and found a much better comfortable position into his arms.

"Also, I think Amelia would never forgive me if I leave you once again." Derek joked, he laughed a little, Addison grinned. Derek looked down to his wife's eyes, she looked up to his too. For a minute everything was warm and perfect. Finally. "I'm so sorry for making you cry, it hurts me to see you this way. Ads, you are my best friend, it's okay if you hate me, I would hate me too. I do hate myself. You don't deserve this... I mean, me." Derek said to her. The last name was there again.

She kept herself calmed, she was feeling in home, she could feel Derek breathing, his heart beating slowly, his smell around her, she just decided to ignore for a minute and to concentrate on where she was and who she was with. Suddenly Meredith, Mark, surgeries, arguments... they were all disappearing from her thoughts, the stress was leaving her body.

She was finally resting with the man she truly loved, the man who she shared an endless chemistry.

"I forgive you." Addison said kinda sleepy, she pecked Derek's lips. She totally knew she was practically selling her soul to the devil by pronouncing those words... _I forgive you_. But she was in love once again with those charms, and also she could totally blame those drinks she had, she was even surprised of herself how she didn't killed herself while driving her car. "I love you." She mumbled and fell asleep in his arms.

Derek kissed her forehead and stoked her red hair. "Me too, Addie." He mumbled. She loved the way Derek used to have her a lot of nicknames... Addison, Ads, Addie, D, sunny. She even hesitated te forgiveness twice, but she was so in love with him, that her heart was talking, not her mind.

"McDreamy is back with Satan. Do you think she forgave him or...?" Cristina asked Meredith, She replied with an expression filled by hate. The happy couple was back. The Shepherds where now a thing... **the thing.** Meredith seemed annoyed, she was in love with the man.

It was lunch time and Addison was taking a sit next to Richard and Derek. "How are you two doing?" Webber asked. He also wanted to be filled by the gossip. Addison just smirked, Derek smiled at Addison and nodded.

"We're good" Addison replied for both. Derek for a moment could see Meredith in the room, he knew it was her even if he wasn't paying attention and she was moving. He realized he had to talk to her about choosing Addison over her. Now it was going to be... not so easy.

Derek hated to be the bad guy in every story. "Yes we are." Derek agreed. Addison got paged.

"Oh heck, it's the premature, I gotta go, bye honey." Addison said in a cute way, kissing Derek, waving goodbye to Webber, running away. Derek kept looking at her how she was running, that pony tail dancing while she was stressed and afraid for that baby. He was already finished so he also left. Sadly, Webber was now alone.

Back to work, Derek saw Meredith getting inside of an on-call room, probably looking for something, Derek followed her inside of the room. He closed the door behind his back, spotting Meredith speechless, not understanding what was going on.

"What are you doing, doctor Sheperd?" Meredith Said.

"We have to talk..." Derek said to her.

"No, theres nothing to discuss, you're with her now, you choose her." Meredith said, trying to move Derek somehow from the door so she could exit that uncomfortable position. 'You choose her'. That sounded just like Addison that night. Derek pushes himself away from the door and took Meredith by the shoulders to stop her from leaving.

"I did. I mean... no, no! I picked her first... I'm so sorry if..." Derek didn't find a perfect way to express himself.

"It's over, she's your wife, you love her, I understand." Meredith said; she just wanted to go and cry.

"Have you seen doctor Shepherd?" Addison asked a nurse, she pointed to the on-call room. Addison smiling slightly, just opened the door, thinking he was going to be sleeping or talking to Burke, knowing they both just went out of a surgery. Instead, she found her husband holding the other woman by the shoulders.

"Addison! Wow, you scared me." Derek said with a laugh.

"Course I did." Addison said in a mad tone, she started walking quickly by the corridor of the hospital, that little bridge, she walked far away from the Chief's office even.

"Gotta go" Derek said leaving Meredith there, he practically ran behind his wife, trying to catch her. "Addison! Come on!" Derek shouted. The nurses staring. She went into the ladies room, another fight. Another gossip to tell. "Addison!" He yelled.

"Go away." She said simply. She needed to think about what she just saw and she knew she was acting so bitchy and childish.

After work Addison waited for Derek outside the hospital, they both went silent inside of Derek's car. "What happened?" Addison said seriously, looking for an answer to why her husband and the intern where inside an on-call room. "Thank God I came in before you took her clothes off." Addison said to him.

He felt awful thinking now his wife was mad a him, he didn't want any more fights. "Addison you know I wasn't-" Derek was about to stand up for himself, until Addison started laughing loudly and funny. He started laughing now. "What's going on!?" Derek laughed.

"Don't worry... at least nothing happened, right?" Addison pointed. She had been thinking about it. She wanted to believe that Derek wasn't that jerk like cheating again.

"No, i was telling her I choose you." Derek said softly. Suddenly Addison was biting her lip. "You want me to go home?" Derek asked, knowing what that face meant.

"As soon as you can." His wife said in content. Addison felt that magical feeling she felt when she was on her wedding and on her first date with him.

As soon as they were home, Addison practically jumped on Derek, both kissing passionately, Derek opening the door, letting both of them get into the trailer. Derek was now without shirt, kissing Addison's neck against the wall next to the door. She was trying to catch her breath while Derek was moving her towards the bed, both jumped on it still kissing.

Derek's hands where 'dancing around', coming from her low back to her shoulders and then getting down her legs, Addison laughing between kisses. Her hands where around his neck at first, but then started helping Derek with his pants and his socks. Both in underwear, now under a blanket, making love.

Addison moaned Derek's name each time she was in pure pleasure, Derek was too much busy making love to her wife like moaning, he was showing her his affection, Addison was kissing his neck, pressing her nails on his back, enjoying. Addison felt like in the old times, when Derek wasn't so busy working in New York and the nights were only for them.

The darkness was the only one who took a testimony of the fun both had that night. Something Addison missed so much was him, just their bodies interacting. She missed the sex. For them, as doctors, it was much more than just playing, it was communication. Well... Mark's case was different, there was just sweating and pleasure in that case.

After a long night filled by action and love, also romance, the Sheperds wake up slowly, Addison in Derek's arms, resting her head on Derek's chest, one of his hands on Addison's hair. "Good morning..." said Derek smiling slightly at Addison, she kissed him and smiled at him.

"Good morning, you slept good?" She said happily. They both seemed happier, Derek moved himself, now reaching for a comfortable position to embrace Addison.

"I think none of us slept that much." He joked. It was Sunday, finally their only day off. He kissed her deeply as a new good morning ritual. She started playing with his hair.

"I love you." Addison said, stopping whatever she was doing, now she just had eyes for her husband, she looked at his hot good looking face with widen eyes, Derek just smiled and laughed, making her heart melt by his charms.

"I love you too, Addie." Said Derek, smiling at her. She loved him. She really did.

"Gosh please don't flirt with me, I'm starting to feel up to it." Addison said honestly. He just smiled again, flirting with her even more, now approaching his mouth near her ear. Derek was falling for her, again. All over again.

"I don't flirt with you." Mumbled Derek on her ear, with that sexy, masculine, hot voice. She practically melt, pulling him into a deep long kiss, he laughed. "It's our day off, do you want to keep flirting? Or do you have any plans?" Derek said to her playfully.

She laughed and caressed his arm. "I think I'm in the mood for your flirting today." She said playfully, kissing Derek again. "Derek..." Addison said. She wanted to ask him a lot of things, she was so into this new beginning between both.

"Yes?" She kept her mouth shut and kissed Derek softly on the lips, closing her eyes and letting her thoughts locked inside of her mind, not wanting to share her intentions. Derek smirked, _she just wanted a kiss?_ She smiled at him, her two blue eyes looking at his eyes, for a minute, everything was silent, she could hear him breathing, the heat between their skins felt so familiar for both of them.

Derek felt his wife's soft hands on his chest, for a moment it was just them in the world, their eyes looking at each other, the feeling of their touch. Their skins touching felt so good, the embrace of each other... Suddenly some kind of fire, a heartwarming feeling filled Addison, the way of desire she looked at her husband was reckless.

He removed the hairs on Addison's face, so he could admire those eyes much better, but it made her not resist anymore, she didn't know why but she was trying not to kiss him, maybe it was a fun game to play. Her lips where now crashing with his, he admitted her lips into his, her hands going up and down, like a massage. _How the hell are we so horny?_ Addison thought.

Derek's hands where on her neck at the first, moving down her back, until they decided to stop in her ass. She moved herself on top of him, still kissing romantically, she was crazy for him. He was crazy for her. When she could even think he wasn't in love with her, she realized how much love his heart was saving for her. The kiss kept going, soft, but fast, cute, but crazy. _Wish this could never end. _Addison thought.

"You seem happy." Callie said to Addison, she managed to smirk at her friend, she just nodded and smirked again.

"Derek and I are working things out, and I think it's going so good." Addison said simply.

Callie smiled. "I'm so happy to hear that, I can guess you're getting laid by the expression on your face." Callie told Addison.

Addison giggled; "We are!" She was now playing with her hair; Callie was just looking at her happy face. Addison's face turned into disgust for a moment, Callie looked at her worried.

"What's wrong?" Callie asked.

"I just..." Addison wanted to tell her best friend about her ideas and thoughts, but she wasn't going to, or she didn't want to.

"Addison, what's going with on?" Callie caressed her arm smiling at her.

"I've been thinking about it and I want a family." Addison shared, Callie didn't understand what she meant, a family or a kid? She questioned.

"Oh, you want kids?!" Callie said finally, she just wanted to ask her to make sure she was thinking the right thing.

"I do. Yesterday I tried to tell Derek and I couldn't... instead of that-" Addison said being cut off by Callie.

"You Had sex again." Callie finished her sentence. Addie nodded, Callie nodded back and caressed her arm to calm her down, she knew that for Addison it was difficult all this stuff, knowing her marriage went wrong several times in the past.

"Derek has always want children, but maybe it's not my chance, our chance to try." Addison said.

Callie looked speechless. "What? No. Addison, you should tell him, we are doctors, you will not have that much time in the future... well we never have time" she laughed. "This is the perfect time! You are young, beautiful and; both found each other again." Callie reflected out loud. Addison nodded and smiled at her friend.

"Derek genes and yours, oof, that would create the hottest baby ever." Callie joked to make Addison feel better, she laughed, both laughed.

"You're right."

Addison got paged 911; she ran towards the emergency room, intern O'Malley filled her with the details, the mother was having seizures and they were worried about the 8 month pregnancy child inside of her. They thought she could have epileptic attacks, considering her family had epilepsy.

The baby was having pressure problems. Addison had to perform a c-section as soon as she could. Another beautiful day to save lives. She saved mom and daughter and she was so proud. The kid had to stay on watch.

"Doctor Sheperd, when Can I see my baby? I haven't even hold her yet." The woman asked, she seemed scared and stressed.

"Don't worry, you will soon. For the moment we are watching your daughter in case there's something else going on with her." Addison explained the woman. Callie entered the room.

"Addie, we need you over here; it's just a consult." Callie told Addison. Addison smiled at her patient and left the room respectfully. Callie and Addison walked into the room next to the one they just went out of.

"Hello, I'm Doctor Montgomery-Sheperd." Addison introduced herself. The patient waved her hello, Addison smiled at the woman in the bed.

"Allie came because of some pain on her knee at the first but she also told me she hasn't been feeling the baby in a while today, so I thought you could check her in case i am wrong; also I have a surgery to perform, see you guys later!" Callie explained Addison, and then left the room smiling at the patients.

Derek was operating a brain tumor, it was huge and very difficult to operate; the woman that was on the table was pregnant and Derek wanted his wife to be there just in case something could happen during the surgery.

Addison entered the room. "You said you wanted to see me, doctor Sheperd?" Addison said, very professionally.

Derek smirked, "I am your husband, you can call me Derek." He laughed. "I called you to watch the baby while I operate If there's any problem; Stevens got paged." He got back on what he was doing, Addison sat there.

"Everything seems okay here." She said checking the baby. "Are you sure you didn't page me just to see me?" Addison said playfully. He just winked at her and kept doing his job.

Derek looked at her wondering what was going on with her, she was kind of sad, she seemed too tired. "Is everything okay, Addie?" Derek got soft. Addison nodded and didn't pay that much attention.

"Not really." She admitted.

"Why? Bad day? Too much silly interns bothering?" Derek asked. Addison smirked falsely. After surgery Addison walked away quickly, Derek followed her, she went into an on-call room. "Addie, are you okay?"

Addison was resting her face on her hands, she couldn't look at Derek, she was so stressed, tired, and she was so sad thinking maybe Derek didn't want kids, her interns where stupid and silly, the memories of Derek being a bitch were haunting her hardly, Her patient was also so rude, and she was trying her best on helping their baby. For a moment she just fell down and needed to cry her anger out.

"Bad day?" Derek asked, sitting next to his wife, patting her back and kissing her temple.

She nodded; "Bad day." Derek hugged her.

"What happened?" He asked.

She looked into his husband's eyes and just said; "I delivered two babies today." Addison said simply.

"Oh, now I completely understand your pain." Derek played. She rolled her eyes.

"One of them will have to be here for two months or so because something is wrong with his heart and they blame me for everything... and..." Addison wanted to tell him, she just wanted to beg him for a kid and cry on his shoulder of happiness.

"Don't worry, it's not your fault. You did what you could." Derek said to her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes, she squeezed his hand.

She could remember Allie yelling at her, it wasn't her fault.

"Derek..." Addison started. Derek looked down at her, she just left a tear run down her cheek and didn't say anything.

"What's wrong? Addison you are scaring me." Derek said, smirking, almost like it was a joke.

"I... I love you." She didn't say it. Derek kisses her forehead and then pecked her lips, he stroked her hair; she smiled.

For a moment she felt okay. "I love you! It's late; wanna go to Joe's?" Derek invited his very own wife.

"I prefer to go home and watch some good romantic movie to cry myself to sleep." Addison joked, but she did want to go home and have a good rest; knowing she had lots of surgeries at the next day.

"Okay then I'll go home with you." Derek told her. "No, no, go to Joe's, have fun with Preston and Webber, or whoever will be there, just, go." Addison said honestly.

Derek looked at her in a weird way. "Addison... why do you want the trailer for yourself?" He said standing up, he looked at her wondering what was going on, with a mad expression.

"What? Do you think I'm cheating again?" Addison laughed at that, knowing she wasn't.

"That could explain why Mark called you the other night." Derek said; Addison looked at him with an angry expression.

"He called!? How do you know that?" Addison said standing up from the bed she was sitting in. She was furious.

"He called the other night when you were asleep." Derek said. Addison looked at him confused.

"What were you doing with my phone?!"

"Like if you never ever checked mine." Derek said to her.

Addison was so offended. "I did, years ago! And that was another version of me! I could never do that to you, I trust you, at least I did."

Addison said sadly, he just replied with more hate; "I trusted you too, then you cheated." Derek said.

"Come on you can't play that game with me! You also cheated, and you were leaving me. Don't play the I'm the victim game with me, Derek." Addison said.

"You aren't the victim either!" He said. There was no victim.

"Why do you even bother on answering my phone?!" Addison snapped; she almost yelled at him. The nurses and surgeons outside where confused.

"I am your husband! I can do that." Derek yelled. Addison couldn't believe what he was saying.

"So if I am your wife I can also check your phone and answer Grey's texts while you sleep?" Addison said sarcastically.

"She doesn't text me. Not anymore." Derek replied to her comment.

"Well, I did not know that because I don't check your phone like you do." Addison said, now she was leaving the room quickly, Derek realized she was right, again. What was going on with him? _Am I jealous?_ Derek came out of the on-call room, pissed and disappointed. He walked away from that corridor; he received a text from Addison;

_**Hey, it's Addison;**_

_**I need my space.**_

_**I will stay in a hotel,**_

_**Don't call me.**_

He loved how she added her name to texts even when it appears who's sending it. Derek knew he screwed it up, they were so happy together lately, and it was so much fun having each other's company. Addison was now not being home, just when Derek wanted her near him. His wife was probably going to buy gallons of coffee ice cream and watch 'breakfast at Tiffany's'. He knew her so well.

He just hoped she wasn't going to commit any mistakes she would regret later. Derek left the hospital that night, entered the bar and found Meredith Grey alone in the bar; he thought about being her company, but rapidly he changed his mind, with the thought of the love of his life. He decided to go home and rest, he didn't need a drink, even if he missed Addison's feet playing with his while trying to fall asleep.

Addison took a cab to the nearest supermarket, bought ice cream and five different brand pregnancy tests; she was depressed and wanted to get fat and she wanted to cry a lot. She had a fight with her husband and a crappy day. She then went to a hotel, knowing she was just going to be lazy and to do stuff teenagers with broken hearts would probably do.

Already in her room, wearing the bathroom robe took the ice cream and started eating while watching tv shows; she couldn't find anything good. Her phone beeped.

_**Addison,**_

_**Please let me know if you are okay,**_

_**I care about you.**_

"Of Course you do." She said sarcastically; felt like going to the bathroom and trying those pregnancy tests just for fun, knowing she wasn't expecting any child. But still the illusion of having one was there. Sometimes she wished she could go back in time and never have ever slept with Mark Sloan. Well, she wished that all the time, not just sometimes. It was painful when the fact they had an affair always came back to kick her in the ass.

She couldn't believe Derek was checking her phone. She even laughed at her own thoughts and acted surprised to herself; knowing she wasn't even drunk. Instantly, she started crying. The tears were waterfalls coming out of her eyes.

Negative. Negative. Negative and negative. She wasn't pregnant and her hopes where totally screwed. She wanted old Derek back, funny Derek... the McDreamy Derek she fell for once, the one she married, not the jealous bitch checking her phone.

_**I am safe.**_

_**Good night, Derek.**_

"Even her texts are cold." Derek mumbled to himself. _At least she said good night._ He thought. He was worried about his wife; maybe she was a woman that knew how to take care of herself, but for him she was still the stubborn girl who just wanted to learn how to play a guitar, and liked to dance on the beach. He missed New York some times; his family was there. He started thinking about everything he left by deciding to move to Seattle.

His wife; his friends; his family. That shocked him, he left his family behind, and just decided to start all over again. Addison wasn't right, neither was he, no one was right and they were both pissing each other off, they were both hurting. _Do we even need answers? Or questions?! We keep hurting by trying to find an explanation to all the arguing. _Derek thought to himself.

Derek couldn't sleep and he had three brain surgeries the next day. Addison was the only thing, well, person; he could think about. He didn't want to let go.

He smiled at the thought of her.

_/ author's note: sorry if my English is too trashy or if I repeat too much some words, also sorry because I think I wrote "sheperd" instead of "Shepherd". _


	2. Chapter 2

'What love made us do'

Chapter 2

Four days had passed, Addison was going to the trailer some times to look for clean clothes and personal articles she needed to borrow. The contact with her husband on the hospital or in general was almost none. He was so furious because of the whole situation, when where they going to stop playing kids games?! Derek started to realize he was miserable without her; and realized that Meredith was seriously just a toy to play with while Addison wasn't there, In Seattle.

Four days and none of them had sex, it was like touching hell when they were walking into each other while moving around the corridors of the hospital, stealing surgeries, checking patients. Derek was still looking for a good idea to get her back and to ask for her forgiveness. He was kind of tired of always being the source of Addison's pain; when he was also hurting. But the respect and love for Addison always made him change his mind, even about Meredith. He decided it was time to talk to her and argue about it, just to work it out.

Addison was having a bad journey lately, since she got to Seattle just three people received her with a lot of love and gladness; Miranda Bailey; Chief Webber and Callie Torres.

"Can we talk?" Derek said approaching Addison in the corridor, she looked at her husband and then went back to reading her patient's story, she was wearing those red glasses that made her hair look even more brighter.

"I'm kinda busy right now." Addison replied coldly. He insisted by staring in front of her, she rolled her eyes and left her glasses and papers in the table next to her. "What do you wanna talk about?" She asked. She was serious and she seemed tired. Derek cleansed his throat. She was acting bitchy and distant.

"You know what I want to talk about. Addison I can't keep fighting with you." Derek said sincerely. Addison nodded and walked away.

She expected an apology or something, but this time she choose ignoring her husband once again. She took her glasses and the papers she was reading earlier, she left Derek alone there.

Addison came into an on-call room finding Callie there too, she was trying to sleep but Addison needed a talk.

"Callie!" Addison almost yelled at her to wake her up. She slightly started waking up.

"What's going on?" Callie asked half asleep.

"My husband is looking for me." Addison said. Callie nodded and laughed, Addison started laughing two, she sounded so crazy and desperate, she did want to talk to Derek. "Calliope. I think I'm in love, with my husband." Callie found Addison's confessions so goofy that she laughed at them.

After a long day, Addison was in the middle of the last consult of the day; Derek sneaked into the room where she had her purse and stuff, he stole her purse and left a note instead.

**"I'm not giving you your purse if you don't talk to me. — Derek."**

He then left to home, he didn't cared; he just knew Addison was going to come after him. Derek practically escaped from the hospital, wanting to get home as soon as he could to hide her purse somewhere and to wait for her outside of the trailer. As soon as Derek was there he left Addison's purse inside of the oven, the only part he ever thought of.

"You have to be kidding." Addison said to herself when she found the post in on her locker. She didn't have her phone even, she had to go to Derek's to find her purse, even if she didn't want that. She walked into the Chief's office, spotting Richard working on some paper work.

"Can I use your phone? Mine got stolen by my husband." She said getting into the room, shutting the door behind her.

"Yeah sure, there you go." Richard said giving her his phone she smirked at the chief and dialed Derek's number.

"Hello?" Derek said at the phone.

"I swear I will send an intern to look for it." Addison says challenging.

"I'm not going to give it to an intern! You gotta come here by yourself and pick it up." Derek said. He knew Addison was struggling, and he couldn't wait to see her mad face to appear in front of the trailer.

"I will kill you." Addison said fully of anger; she then turned the phone off, she felt warm by his voice for some reason; she left the room and waved goodbye doctor Webber.

She took her coat to finally left work, she had to admit she was happy knowing she was about to meet with Derek, even if they were both in the middle of a fight. It started raining.

As soon as Addison found herself outside the trailer, her eyes widen when she saw Derek standing there in the rain waiting for her. Addison got out of the car, wearing her coat as some kind of umbrella to cover her head.

"Can we just end this now? Please give me my purse back." Addison asked him. He smiled; knowing she was melting inside because of that perfect beautiful smile. "Come on Derek, this isn't funny." Addison said rolling her eyes.

"I will give it to you. But not now. I want you to accept my apologies. I treated you wrong again." He smiled at her, thinking he finally was doing something to get her back. She kept her distance from him, knowing she was practically an animal if we talk about her feelings for Derek; and also the fact they didn't have sex since four nights ago.

"Derek come on, I don't wanna talk about it right now." She did want to. She just liked to not act as the easy bitch every guy can get. Derek nodded in signal of saying no.

"I called you a cheater. You deserve an apology." Derek insisted her. She tried not to smirk but she did, she was in desire; the desire of having Derek holding her.

"Okay I accept your apology." Addison replied quickly, like she just wanted to go to her hotel and end the discussion.

"Ads, you're not okay." Derek knew her so well, something was going on with her. She started crying.

"I'm such a bad wife. I... I can't even talk to you because I'm afraid of making you upset." Addison said sincerely, wiping her tears out of her face, trying not to show her soft and weak part.

Derek managed to just take her coat and he left it get wet on top of Addison's car, he hugged her; embracing her body, making her feel safe.

"What do you wanna tell me?" Derek looked down at Addison. She didn't know what to say. She just, hugged him back. Derek stroked her hair and caressed her back, she hesitated.

She closed her eyes and decided to tell him. "I want a family." Derek didn't understand what she was saying at the very start, but then understood. She wants children.

He took Addison's face with his two hands, the rain getting them even much more wet; Addison's eyes got widen. He smirked at her, she started crying again, her soft heart needed to let some feelings and fears to leave her body.

"Just let me know when you're ovulating." Derek joked, but that made her feel much more better, it wasn't only a joke, it was only a me too. It was a yes. Derek felt so good knowing she was now starting to be more honest and to trust much more on him. He also felt so happy she wanted children, she was so sweet when it came to telling Derek her fears and defects.

Addison smirked. "Thank you." She said simply, filled by happiness, the warmth of his body next to her made her get closer, she kissed him deeply, romantically, recklessly, sweetly. She was so relieved; one of her dreams was becoming a mother, next to him.

When their lips separated from each other, Derek took Addison's coat from the car and hold Addison next to him while walking inside of the trailer, she leaned her head on his shoulder. When they got into the trailer; Addison took her boots off and got into the bathroom, Derek changed himself into pajamas, while Addison was still inside of the bathroom.

"I hate this trailer." Addison said coming out of the bathroom wearing only a robe.

"You do." Derek said, reminding himself that.

"Where's my purse by the way?" She giggled looking around, she was still smiling. He couldn't believe stealing her purse would ever work out.

Derek just pointed over the oven; "right there." He giggled.

"Oh, smartie!" Addison laughed. She got inside of the bed next to Derek, her hair was wet and she didn't care. "Derek, where you serious?"

She asked, reaching for his hand under the covers, he hold her hand and kissed her temple, with his other arm he pushed her closer to him, so she could rest her head on his shoulder.

"I am." He said softly.

"I never told you, but it was so hot when you punched Mark in the face because of me." She said caressing his strong shoulder.

"It was worth it." Derek replied talking in her ear softly, making her go crazy in love. She kissed his lips softly and gently, then went back on resting her head next to his.

"Wanna start trying already?" Derek asked playfully. She smirked. It felt properly to lay on that bed with him, it felt properly to be with him. He felt like her presence there was such a gift, there was no more hate.

"I'm a neonatal surgeon, i know it will not work this way..." For some weird reason she started to talk about doctor things. "I should just wait until my-" Derek made her shut up by kissing her, she left him do whatever he wanted.

"Hey, why you didn't want to ask me earlier about this whole baby thing?" Derek asked after the kiss. She opened her eyes, sad that he stopped.

"Oh, um, I was just afraid that maybe you weren't into the idea." Addison complained.

He pecked her lips. "You are so sweet." Derek said; kissing her.

"Why sweet? I am not sweet!" Addison asked between passionate kisses.

"You are." Derek told her; running his hands down her back, kissing her neck and collarbone area.

"Oh okay, I think I can be sweet tonight. Or maybe my whole life." She joked. They both made up just because of a purse.

Addison took his husband's face into her two hands and kissed him, deeply, she was now crossing her arms in the back of his neck, one of her hands was now on his neck, then on his chest.

Derek pajamas wasn't there anymore; she kissed his chest and kept kissing him up his neck, to end up in his mouth again. Addison moved herself on top of him, wanting to have the control of the situation. Derek's hands playing with Addison's wet hair made her feel alive, so comfortable of what she was doing. For a moment they were those horny teenagers, almost kids, that used to be years ago.

"I love you." Addison said between kisses, her robe flew far away from the bed,

Derek replied; "not as much as I do." He kissed her deeply again. Derek removed her wet hair from her neck and starting kissing it up and down, getting to her ear, whispering...

"are you up to it?" He didn't even know himself why he was questioning sex with his wife, but he was having a romantic feeling she didn't want to screw.

"I'm always up for it." Addison whispered in his ear now, trying to sound sexy, which she had accomplished; both embraced and Derek kept kissing all her body.

The time came right away, Addison moaned so loud, that she even felt thankful of not having any neighbors. They were both of them coexisting. The pleasure that were both experimenting was supreme, two Greek gods, together. _Collide._

After everything, Addison finds herself cuddling with her husband down the covers, playing with each other feet, embracing. "Derek, is that a picture of your mom?" Addison pointed at a picture in the wall, she laughed.

"Oh my God, yes. hi mom." He laughed with her. She hit his arm softly, like trying to say shut up! Not helping.

"Ugh now I feel like your mother saw everything we just did." Addison said disgusted, resting her head on Derek's chest, holding his hand.

"Why do you act like it never happened?" He laughed, looking down at her eyes.

She pecked his lips. "That was totally different situation, how could I know your mother was sleeping in your room that night!? You never stopped me though." Addison testified.

"Uh, Addie, I'm pretty sure I told you three times not to take your shirt and bra off. Besides, I never invited you to get into my house through my window." He laughed and stroked her hair. She giggled and smiled at him.

"I just remember you touching them." Addison laughed now. Derek looked at her curious, not understanding at the very start, but then he did.

"And I happen to be the pig?" He joked; he kept looking Addison's beautiful face for a long time. He felt so bad for the past they had; he left her, abandoned her after finding her with Mark on their bed, but he couldn't blame Addison, he wasn't home that often and the busy life of being such an important doctor was always bothering and damaging his personal life. That night Addison learned a lesson.

The next morning was annoyingly difficult to live, both wanted to lie in there and just have each other for another twenty - four hours. Addison could tell Derek had been thinking a lot, she just wanted him not to think about her. "Are you and Grey friends?" She asked.

"I don't think so." That was the answer Addison wanted, and it was also the one she received. She nodded and smiled knowing her marriage was working out this time.

Addison opened one of her bags and took a good outfit for the day; Derek was getting inside of the shower. "Hey, no! Can I shower first?" Addison asked standing up from the bed in her robe.

"Sorry! I don't hear you." Said Derek laughing getting inside of the shower, Addison rolled her eyes, she took off her robe and joined him inside of the shower, she wasn't there for dirty playing with her husband, she was actually getting there because she wanted her shower and she couldn't waste any more time. _It was another beautiful day to save lives._

Derek couldn't deny he was looking at her body with desire, her perfect legs, her bright red hair, her eyes. Those eyes where his everything. She was struggling a little, considering that the shower wasn't big enough. He was resting his hand on her right cheek, she was smiling; Derek pulled her into a soft kiss.

At the moment both got inside of the hospital they were both holding hands and giggling at something stupid Derek said, she rested her head on his shoulder. He was holding her and caressing her shoulder, they were chatting as they entered the room where their lockers where.

Mark entered the room and Addison rolled her eyes. "Hi guys." Mark regarded us both.

"Mark." Addison replied, taking off her coat.

"Mark." Derek said also, taking his watch off. Mark laughed and started putting on his 'doctor outfit'. He rolled his eyes.

"Heard about the mystery pregnant doctor?" Mark asked both, they both looked at each other wondering what was he talking about. "I guess you haven't. Gotta go!" Said Mark leaving them alone. Derek looked at Addison with widen eyes.

"Don't look at me that I way, I don't have a penis. Wait, but you do!" Addison replied to his look. Derek nodded and thought; _What if it's Meredith!? _Addison thought about it for a moment and just reminded herself; it's not about her; nothing is about her, just, ignore her, don't remember her, she doesn't exist, Addison. Her thoughts told her. Addison didn't want to think about Meredith now. Specially not now, when her marriage was finally working.

She took her doctor outfit and dressed herself quickly, it was a beautiful day to save lives. Addison left the room before Derek, already stressed about her day. Derek kisses her goodbye, exiting the room. She joined all her red stunning her into a pony tail, leaving the room ready for a busy day.

"Miranda, Hi." Addison said to doctor Bailey, they were both reading someone's stories.

"Hello Addison." Bailey replied. Addison was enchanted by her patient, it was a difficult case and she couldn't wait. She loved tricky cases.

"Who's Intern is gonna work with me today?" Addison asked Bailey, knowing she probably already had scheduled everything, as always. She kept looking at the papers and nodded. Bailey first checked the hour.

"Today you're having doctor Grey." Miranda said, turning herself and walking away from the spot she was. Addison, speechless, almost threw the chart of her patient into the nurses desk, she ran behind Miranda, following her. Addison couldn't believe what doctor Bailey was saying. I will not even stay close to that slut.

"I'm sorry, doctor Grey? What about Stevens? Or Yang? Yes, Yang! She hasn't been with me." Addison almost begged Miranda to change her intern, for her, Meredith was just another trashy intern even if The shepherds had such a big struggle with her.

"I'm sorry Addison, there's nothing I can do." She kept walking. Addison kept following her, she couldn't work a whole day with Grey around her.

"Yes you do! You are their resident. Come on, Miranda. We are friends!" Addison begged again, Miranda turned to see Addisons face. She was kind of furious, Addison just wanted another intern so she could survive the day.

"Excuse me, I'm doing my job, just as you should right now. When I'm working i do not get to have any friendships or relationships. I get to punish my interns, i am the nazi, so I need to make them suffer and hate themselves, because that's my job. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go check on a patient." Miranda explained herself an slept Addison there, she hated herself for a moment, she came back to the spot she was originally, reading her patient's story.

"Doctor Montgomery; Doctor Bailey told me today I'll be with you." Grey told Addison in a nervous tone.

"Doctor Shepherd. I'm doctor Shepherd." Addison replied. "And you are six minutes late."

"That must have been cruel." Derek replied to Addison, she was telling him about her day with Meredith Grey, he laughed at every detail and little furious tones of her cute and sweet voice.

"It was totally cruel." They were both getting into the trailer, she took her coat off just as he did; Addison crashed with the tiny kitchen table. "Crap! Ugh, Derek I hate this trailer." She said.

"I know you do," he smirked. "Are you okay?" Derek asked her. "I am." she took her shoes off and left herself to fall on the bed. Derek jumped next to her into the bed, she giggled.

"Are you ovulating?" For some weird reason Addison never felt so attracted towards a man... or the word _ovulating._

"Not yet." She told him. He kept himself silent, stroking her hair, kissing her forehead and looking into her two beautiful blue eyes. "Derek..."

"Yes?" Derek replied. Her smile faded away, Derek couldn't understand why she was so miserable.

"I'm sorry, love." She said, hugging him. "I blamed you for everything and you weren't the one to blame, I was." Addison said. She was feeling so bad, because she once screwed everything up. "I really am the worst, thank you for not leaving me." He knew she meant every word, she called him 'love' .

"Addie..." Derek wanted to say something to her to comfort her, but he thought it was better to let her cry it all and calm down. He received her hug and patted her back, cuddling with her. Her tears were a river.

"I'm so sorry." She kept crying, badly. Addison having a breakdown and I feel guilty about it? I might just... Derek never really realized for real his feelings for her, he just felt like he loved her and he owned something to her, but everything was clear now; he was in love with that woman and felt broken about letting her cry.

_Don't... cry_. He thought, he embraced her much more strong now, letting her cry all she wanted on his chest, wiping her tears away.

"I'm so sorry!" She cried. Derek just wondered why she was so emotional today; today she decided to have a breakdown.

"Shh, it's okay, Addie, don't worry. Everything will be okay." He told her sincerely. He caressed her head, holding her for a long time. She couldn't catch her breath that easily, the tears couldn't stop coming out of her eyes. "It's okay." He took her by her chin so she could look into his eyes. "Addison, it will be okay." He smiled at her with concern and pride, knowing she recognized her mistakes.

"I love you!" She said between cries and tears, she wiped some of them and kept looking into his eyes. Now Addison was trying to catch her breath, Derek caressed her back.

"I love you too, Addie. Don't cry, it's enough. Come here." He hugged her, kissing her forehead. She closed her eyes and tried to calm down. Her heart ached, hardly._ I don't deserve such a good man like him._ Addison reflected. _But I'm grateful he's here now._

"Derek, I... do you forgive me?" Addison asked; looking up to his eyes. She didn't know if she deserved his forgiveness. She couldn't blame him for screwing Meredith when she wasn't there, she did the same to him.

"I already did." He said softly, pecking her lips in a sweet way. Addison finally smiled, that puffy face was still there and Derek felt so bad, the woman he loved was in pain. He got much more comfortable on the bed, Addison followed him and found a comfortable position next to him, holding his hands.

"Are you still in love with her?" Addison asked in pain and fear. Derek knew he liked something about her, he did, he _liked_. But, Addison stole his heart now, and she wasn't giving it again to him.

"I am not. I love you. I was with her trying; because I thought I was over you. She's nothing for me, not anymore. You are what I need and what i really want. I can't find a reason to why I just knew she wasn't the one I loved." Derek replied, in such a poetical way.

"Maybe, you might go back to her." Addison cried a little bit again. _What is she even talking about?! _Derek thought.

_You know I am a mess and I will probably break you again_. She thought. "I want you to be happy."

"Addison, you don't understand. She's not you, and the only one I desire and I love, it's you. No one else will ever be like you." Derek made her feel even much more loved. His smell was her favorite perfume. She broke the ponytail she was wearing.

She wasn't caring if she was still in her clothes. She looked at Derek's eyes for a long while and then decided to take her clothes off and get into the bed. It wasn't nothing new for Derek, it was a view he had been seeing for the last 11 years every night.

Derek also took his clothes off, getting under the covers. It was pure silence and the noise of their clothes coming out of their bodies.

She wanted to believe that he forgive her, she needed to believe him. He needed to forgive her and to make it right, he knew it was his time to finally try again. Post Mark and Meredith. Derek positioned one of his hands on Addison's hip; taking her hair out of her face, kissing her lips softly.

"Not tonight." She giggled, approaching him and resting her head on his chest, she wanted to sleep, to rest and to enjoy her husband's warm skin. "But maybe tomorrow." She mumbled softly, pecking his lips and coming back to her original position on his chest.

'_Take an angel by the wings, beg her now for anything, beg her now for one more day. Take an angel by the wings, time to tell her everything, ask for her strengths to stay.'_ Derek reminded that song that Addison liked so much, and smiled. He turned off the lights and closed his eyes, ready to sleep. That song made him think about the treasure Addison was.

She was just a good woman who loved him deeply and just wanted to be with him, she maybe was a mess sometimes and she was cold and bitchy, but deeply inside she was a sweet woman that just wanted to be loved and appreciated. That was what caught him at the first attempt they met, besides her eyes and shinny red hair. Also... that smile.

_Ask for her strengths to stay... I missed her_. Derek reflects once again, ready for sleeping. He took Addison's hand and fell asleep with the woman he loved into his arms, the feeling of their skins touching felt like home.

Addison woke up with the song "_More than a woman"_ by Gee Bees. She smiled slightly and started laughing at her husband dancing and preparing coffee at the same time. "Good morning?" She laughed at the look her husband had. He ran towards her and kissed her. Addison stretched herself with the light of the sun in her face.

"Good morning!" He said cheerful. She was still inside of the bed, naked. Wondering why Derek was so happy that morning. He went back to the tiny kitchen the trailer had. "More than a woman!" He tried to sing. Derek looked at his wife with those McDreamy eyes, she was so beautiful.

"What are you doing!?" She laughed and leaned on the bed smiling, looking at her crazy man. "Wait, there's a lot of sun outside..." Addison reflected. "Derek! We are late!" He looked at her in a relaxed way and winked. "What did you do?" She laughed, taking her robe from the feet of the bed, she wore her robe and stood out of the bed.

"Hmm.. we have the flu?" Derek looked at her, filling a cup of coffee for her.

"You are a genius." She smiled and accepted the cup of coffee. A day off sounded so great; no Meredith Grey around, or silly interns, or any patient telling her how to do her job, it was just her and her handsome husband.

"I have a surprise for you.. we are going to look for a new department. I know you are tired of this trailer, and I thought maybe a new loft for both would be a good idea!" Derek said. Addison was speechless he was going to leave his beloved trailer for her. Addison left her cup on coffee on the table, and kissed her husband deeply. She jumped a little.

"Thank you so much!" She kept kissing him all over his face; he couldn't stop laughing. "Finally!" She said happily. No more trailer. "Oh God, Derek, I'm so happy!" She said. The music was still playing. She was shaking of happiness and couldn't even talk about it anymore.

"Hey, come here. Dance with me." He was acting so romantically. She couldn't say no, she started dancing the best way she could with him even if the corridor of the trailer was little. "More than a woman, more than a woman to me." He smiled and kissed her. She was interlocking her arms across Derek's neck, his hands on her hips, both living the moment. Addison laughed and just smiled at him for a while. "Now you sing!"

"What? No." Addison laughed. He grabbed her by the hip and hold her near to him.

"Come on Addie! I already embarrassed myself in front of my beautiful wife." Derek laughed, kissing her temple. She grabbed his hand. _You always do!_ She thought to herself.

"I don't sing." She said. He looked at her with a do it look. She hesitated, but suddenly agreed on trying her vocal cords after a long time.

"Reflecting how I feel for you..." she started, Derek smiled at her and she just kept singing. Her voice wasn't that bad but it wasn't perfect. "And thinking about those people then, I know that in a thousand years..." she stoped for a moment a looked into those two blue ocean eyes. She stopped singing and just quoted the last sentence; "I'd fall in love with you again" she smiled. The lyrics where like her feelings for him.

"You are not a bad singer." He hold her and kept dancing with her. She loved dancing.

"Derek, I know that in thousand years, I'd fall in love with you again." Addison quoted again, looking into his eyes. Derek felt so good, it was like he had a crush on Addison. Like if the lyrics where true.

"I... I fall in love with you every morning and night." Derek confessed. She lip smiled. She felt so warm, her heart was aching of the love she was feeling. She hugged him. "Addison..."

"Thank you." She said. He knew she was happy and joyful of being loved by a someone she also loved.

"The feeling is mutual." She broke the hug. He kissed her forehead. This was home; the feeling of love and cheesiness... the heartwarming feeling. She was home around him. He believed that people like them, with their chemistry, love and confidence, could never be like them specially. As Addison said once ; _We're Addison and Derek._

"We are Addison and Derek." Derek replied, kissing her softly. She broke the kiss. "Why?" He asked, he wanted to kiss his damn wife and she was refusing?

"I need a shower and some coffee." She moved herself taking the cup of coffee he early gave her. He took his and took a sit on the tiny kitchen. She laughed at Derek's expression. "You wanted to have sex, didn't you?" Addison laughed again. He nodded.

"I did not wanted to have sex, I wanted to make love. There's a difference, Addie." He said, charming... acting bossy and clever in front of her. She knew she was kind of turned on by the way he said her nickname. For a moment she thought... _Do I really want to shower alone? I think he looks much more hotter than the other night. God I also deserve my peaceful shower. Screw peace! _She left the cup on the table again and took a sit on Derek's lap. She was holding her hand.

He kissed Addison deeply, making her lean on him, letting him kiss her all the time he wanted. Both stepped up on their feet, still kissing, walking to the shower, Derek turned on the shower, both took off the clothes they had, still kissing. They ended up both wet inside of the shower, that tiny shower; they were not having sex, they were making love.

**Author's note;**

**Sorry, THIS CHAPTER WAS SOOO BORING. Anyways, new material coming. Please leave a review, I would like to know what do you think about it! ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

'What love made us do'

Chapter 3

_1 week later..._

"I liked much more the last one, that loft with good view. It's near to the ferries, you love ferries." Addison said to Derek. They were in the corridor of the hospital. Addison was with the story of two of her patients in her hands, Derek just came out of a surgery.

"I do. I thought you liked the one near here." Derek told her. She nodded.

"Yes. But the loft is much more better. It has three bedrooms, one for us, another one for your office, and the other one... maybe could be a nursery." She said. Derek smiled and realized that she really wanted that loft.

"Okay, Okay. I accept. Let's buy that loft." He said happily, kissing his wife. "Also we have to use that big bath the bathroom has." He laughed.

"Shut up!" She said filled by happiness, she hit her arm softly and playfully. He kissed her temple and left.

"See you later." He mumbled getting away from her.

Derek was so tired of having to look at Meredith everyday, they had to work in the same space, everyday. Bailey assigned her in his service again and it was pissing him off. He wanted to get rid of her; because he knew once he felt like he found himself a new soulmate, but after all, it was just the charm of her sweet voice and personality. He knew he wasn't in love with her anymore and that she was annoying, the vibe was annoying.

"Doctor Shepherd; can I scrub in your next surgery this afternoon?" Meredith asked, following Derek like a total stalker, or that's who it felt like.

"Sorry, not this one." Derek replied, getting inside of the elevator.

"But, why?" Meredith said, not letting the doors close.

"My wife is watching me perform that surgery." Derek said simply, she removed her arm from the door and left Derek leave. He felt kind of bad for being so mean to his interns, he was pure charm but he decided he had to be much more serious, this was medicine. This was a proper hospital. And he was here to save lives.

The elevator stopped, making doctor Webber and Sloan to get into the elevator with Derek. He rolled his eyes as soon as he saw Mark in there, standing.

"Today I got to operate with your wife, Doctor Shepherd." Webber commented. They both worked on a surgery together to a woman who had some cardio problems and Addison had to save the woman's twins. A girl and a boy. Everything went perfectly.

"Really? You are a lucky man, Richard." Derek joked. Richard nodded and smiled. Mark didn't say anything, he just stood there until the doors opened again and they all left, going to different places.

Addison was coming out of a consult, she seemed tired. Derek ran into her. Smiling, being very dreamy as always. She smiled when she saw him.

"Hey" She said.

"Hi! Webber told me you two had a successful birthday surgery today." Derek said. She nodded and caressed her own neck. "Are you okay?"

"No, not really. My neck hurts." Addison said. Derek rolled her, so he could massage her neck softly. "Oh, God! That feels so good."

"Where are you going now? Are you going to see me perform today after all?" He asked, still massaging her neck.

"Of course I'm going. First I need an appointment with an GYN/OB and then I'll meet you there. At four thirty, am I right?" She told Derek. He rolled her again now looking into her eyes.

"Okay, I'll meet you there. And tell me how everything goes." Derek said to her, he touched her stomach and she just rolled her eyes with a smile; thinking We are not pregnant yet! She pecked his lips.

"I'll tell you everything." Addison promised.

"Good. Is your neck feeling any better?" Derek asked her now. She pecked his lips again.

"Yes; thank you honey. Will see you later.." She left him there. He waved her goodbye and kept walking. Addison entered the meetings room, knowing Miranda was probably going to be there, eating her lunch in peace.

"Addison. What do you want?" Miranda asked in her typical mean and arrogant tone.

"Hey... so, I need you to recommend me a good Gynecologist." Addison said, kind of embarrassed. Miranda just looked at her.

"Why would that be?" Bailey asked. Addison took a sit next to her.

"I need an appointment... and my gynecologist is in New York, plus I don't trust doctor Harris that much like letting her talk to me about my menstrual Circe..." Addison confessed. "Come on Miranda, I just wanna get pregnant." She admitted, with that begging voice.

"Addison, are you talking to me seriously?"

"I am!" Addison begged.

"I will tell doctor Rutherford that you are coming. Hour?" Miranda was being so nice to Addison. She smiled.

"Actually... do you think I can meet with her now?"

After Addison's meeting with her new gynecologist, Doctor Rutherford; she stepped out of the room trying not to show her stress to anyone. Also trying not to be seen. Callie stopover by running into her.

"Wow! Addison; you scared me. What are you doing in here?" Callie asked, just because she saw her getting out of that room. Addison panicked and then realized it was still her are and floor.

"What? Callie, do you remember that I am a neonatal surgeon? I work with gynecology all the time!" Addison acted very savage and 'easy peezy'. Callie nodded. Addison nodded too.

"Sure... um. Okay; see you later." Callie said, she kept walking going to god knows where. Addison took a deep breathe and swallowed the anxiety she was feeling. After lunch with her husband and the Chief, she went to watch Derek's surgery. She loved how her husband looked like while performing a surgery, she loved every little detail about him. The way he always ran his finger through his hair, the way he smiled, when he always replied to whatever she said with an "ironic" tone. The way he looked in scrubs...

She sat there and saw him perform the surgery, suddenly she realized Meredith Grey was behind her. "Oh, hello Meredith." Addison greeted her. Addison did not hate Meredith, after all she couldn't blame her for Derek's affair with her. She just waved and smiled. "Hi" she almost whispered.

Addison wanted to stay there, but suddenly got paged 911. A car accident. "Geez" she whispered. There was not any other interns in there, Stevens was with Torres and Yang was with Burke, she didn't know where Karev and O'Malley could be. "Grey, get up, you're scrubbing in with me, hurry!" Addison said standing up from the chair, Meredith didn't know what the hell was going on, she just left the room with the redhead. Now it wasn't about her private life and problems, she needed to save a life.

They both ran across the hall, to get to the emergency area.

"31 year old woman, 32 weeks pregnant. She has a broken femur and a contusion on the brain, she's unconscious and just started labor." A nurse said quickly.

"Okay; thank you! We got her." Addison said. They ran into the ER as soon as they could, Addison having to give her a c-section to save her baby; Grey was helping, stopping the internal bleeding.

After surgery, when the mother was stable just as the baby, Addison held a hand up. "Come on Grey, high five me." Addison giggled. Happy she saved a life. Meredith high fived her and smiled at the neonatal surgeon. Both came out. Of the ER, victorious and relieved.

Meredith left and Izzie Stevens passed across the hall. "Stevens, there you are. I had to scrub in with doctor Grey instead of you." Addison said to her. Izzie looked petrified not knowing what to say.

"I'm so sorry doctor Shepherd... I was busy doing something else... umm..." Stevens tried to explain, Addison laughed.

"Your lipstick looks kinda messy. Seems Karev kept you busy." Addison laughed, walking towards the ER where her husband was, probably the surgery was over and she missed it. Derek came right out of the ER as soon as Addison was walking around.

"Damn, i missed it, didn't I?" Addison said sadly. All she wanted was seeing her husband performing a surgery. Since a while she didn't do that.

"It's okay. Where were you? Suddenly you disappeared." Derek asked. She nodded.

"Sorry, i got paged, car accident." Addison explained. Derek held her hand and smiled at her, she managed to get him a close lip smile. He kissed her temple.

"It's okay, really. Are you going home now?" Derek asked. Addison nodded.

"Yes i am, but I'm still on call, sadly. I'll meet you there." Addison said. Kissing her husband, walking away, getting into the lockers room, Mark entered the room. Addison didn't even look at him, she found some of her contraceptive pills and threw them to te trash can. Mark looked at her in a weird way.

"Why are you...?" Mark almost mumbled. He was getting into her business and he didn't really care. He was that way. _Does he really care? _She thoughts.

"I'm trying to get pregnant." Addison said sincerely, looking at the man in front of her, laying her back against her locker. He grinned. Mark was maybe the jerk that made her and Derek to split up once, but he was also that jerky friend that stood by her side during hard times and he also shared some good memories with their med school friends... like the song Derek wrote for Addison.

"Makes sense." He commented. She now took a sit on the floor, her back still against the lockers. She was reflecting. Mark saw her a little sad and sat next to her. "Is everything okay?" _Do you really care, Mark? Or are you just trying to flirt a little to get some action, otherwise that would be weird. _She laughed in her head at her own internal jokes.

"I gotta take some hormones to make my uterus much more fertile. So, no. I feel like an old grandma." Addison said. She wanted to say ovaries, but just said uterus, knowing Mark wasn't really gonna care and she didn't want to work too hard at the moment like thinking about it or not.

"You are a bit old." Mark said. Addison hit his leg for being so mean. "Easy! I'm just kidding. Take the hormones, and just wait for them to work."

"Why are you even talking to me?" Addison wondered.

"Because we were all best friends now. Because I care about you and Derek." He said softly. Squeezing her knee a little, showing his support

"Thank you." Addison smiled. There was a silence. Mark stood up.

"Gotta go." He said taking off his doctor robe.

"Me too." Addison said, standing up, taking off her scrubs and getting into her normal clothes again. She left the hospital alone. She was happy of being alone in her car for a minute, just thinking, sometimes loneliness was her best friend. She knew that Derek was going to go home also, she was just scared sometimes. Scared that she could leave earlier and he could get home too late like for letting her know he was with _someone else._

She drove her car to the ferry that was going to take her to the other side of Seattle. One of the reasons she hated the woods was that she always had to go in that ferry, but, that made her husband happy, she couldn't complain if there was a bright smile on his face. When she got home, she took off her heals and hit into some comfortable pajamas. She felt so old. '_Hormones? Why me!? God gives me a child from the wrong man, and then takes away my right to procreate with the right one. Great_.' She thought. She sat on the bed, resting her head on her knees, crying the most she could because she didn't want Derek to see her that way. She heard Derek's car. She wiped away the tears she had and ran into the bathroom to wash her face.

"Hi, sorry I arrived a little late. The last ferry was waiting for a man to arrive. Are you okay?" Derek said, walking into the trailer, realizing his wife was Inside of the bathroom washing her face. _I am scared I'm never gonna accomplish my dreams. _She thinks... kinda cheesy, but she tells herself that anyways. She smiled at him, trying her best. She was so happy he was home. '_She's been crying. I know she's been crying._' Derek could just tell. He took off his coat and shoes. Addison came out of the bathroom closing the door. She walked towards him and hugged him.

"Hey" She replied. She wanted him to hold her for a minute and just, feel home. Derek didn't know what was going on and thought that maybe she had some very bad news at the gyno today. He hugged her back. She smiled at him. Even if it wasn't the happiest smile, Derek knew it wasn't that bad by the look on her face, but she was... frustrated.

"What happened? How was your appointment?" Derek asked, she walked into the bed and wiped a tear away her eye. Derek followed her and sat next to her on the feet of the bed. He rested his hand on her leg, making her know she was being supported.

"I... It didn't went so good. I have to take some pills and..." she couldn't keep talking. Her crying started. Derek nodded at her and just hugged her. He envolved his arms around her torso, letting her head to rest next to his. He caressed her back, he could feel Addison's tears coming down, getting his shirt a little wet.

"Addie, it's okay! Don't worry." Derek said breaking the hug, just so he could look into her eyes and peck her lips. She could help but kept crying. The frustration was heavy.

"Ads, Addie, no. Don't, just don't cry. I don't like seeing you this way. It will all work out!" He promised. It ached his heart to know she was in pain. She just wanted to raise a family with Derek.

"I'm so sorry Derek." Addison said. She felt so stupid for even letting herself sleep with Mark. Everything had changed. She wanted to know she was going to be okay; but every time she thought she was going to, something bad happened, she always committed a new mistake. He hold Addison again, she was now calming down. "I'm such a drama queen" she laughed.

He laughed with her, he wiped the last tear coming out of her eye. "We will be fine. And yes, you are in act, a drama queen."

"You're an ass, Derek." She laughed. She wanted to believe him, and she did. Everything will be fine. Addison then thought about the apartment they were talking about; she knew Derek loved the woods, the clear air, the view. She was kinda sad of just killing the way he enjoyed that place.

"I might be an ass. But you love me." Derek replied. He laughed.

"I do." She almost whispered, letting her head rest on his shoulder. Derek looked down at her and caressed her head. "What will we do?"

"What do you mean?" He asked confused. She looked up at Derek.

"With the trailer. I really want the loft!" Addison said. She really did wanted the loft. Suddenly the theme changed.

"We will have the loft, Addie." Derek said softly, making Addison melt, that soft but sexy voice always killed her softly.

"Okay, but you love the woods. You always have loved the nature. I don't want to take that away from you." Addison said to him. She cares. He thought.

"We can come here all the time! Make a fire, spend some time together and ..." Derek was saying, but Addison trailed him off.

"Please don't say camping" she kind of begged. Addison was a fancy city woman, she wasn't into sleeping in the woods, or going fishing or the nature.

"Camping." Derek said. Addison made a mad cute face. She couldn't help but laugh.

"No, no. No way. Not even if I'm crazy. I don't want to have poison oak ever again." Addison hit his leg playfully, she loved the face he always made at her complaining.

"Hahaha! Poison oak. That was fun."

"It wasn't. Not at all." Addison hits him playfully.

"Am I going to get punished?" She nodded and kissed him.

"You don't deserve to be punished, at least not today." She explained as she broke the kiss, getting into bed. Derek smiled at the thought of her smile before she fell asleep. He stood up from the bed, taking his pajamas, now noticing that Addison borrowed his sweatshirt. He rolled his eyes and smiled at the thought of her. One more time. He was now wearing pajamas, he got inside of the bed, turning the lights off, moving closer to her, now both in the called 'spoon position'.

He knew her so good, it was breaking his heart all her frustration. He knew things were going to work out. He kissed her neck, making her groan a little, she moved herself, rolling, now facing Derek. She was so tired. Derek moved her a little closer, making her rest her head on his chest, he kept caressing her back. Slowly. She was smiling while sleeping.

Derek knew his wife better than anyone, he knew that her favorite color was blue, but also liked red a lot. She always complained about her eye bags and always hated how they looked like, Derek loved those eye bags. Derek loved her wearing blue, even if she always thought it didn't look that good on her. Because it didn't "fit" with her red hair. She loved to stole his clothes sometimes. And he loved that she loved to do that. Derek loved to see Derek upset, the look on her face, even serious she was sexy and flawless. Yes, flawless was the word that could describe Addison the most. Addison rolling her eyes was gorgeous. Addison talking about one of her patients with such dedication made him fall for her all the time. The brightness she had.

He was regretting every single thing he ever said to Meredith Grey. Everything.

Derek now thought about what Addison said. She was right, if they wanted to live in that loft, maybe Derek would hardly get to spend time in the nature. That concerned him a little. He had to look for an idea to make this whole moving thing work out.

The next morning Addison woke up before Derek, she realized it was 4:47 am, she hated herself for waking up at that hour. She realized she was in her husband's arms, she looked up to his sleeping face. Addison could remember the day she married Derek. "Love is dangerous, but also safe." She said. It was true. That sentence came right up into her mind that morning. For some weird reason she loved Derek that much, that when she wrote her vows she was a poet. A poet writing a romantic novel. A headache hit her as soon as she tried to stood up from the bed, Derek was still asleep, she needed to go to the bathroom but that headache killed her, she could stood up again.

"Derek..." she said, trying to wake him up, she didn't want to wake him up, but her head was in such a constant hard pain and her stomach was starting hurting now. Derek groaned, in sign that he wanted to keep sleeping. "Derek!" She insists.

"What?" He says slowly and sleepy. Addison rests a hand on her forehead.

"I feel awful." Addison said. Derek groaned again waking himself up. He really wanted to keep sleeping. He turned the lights on; first getting used of the light, he then looks at Addison, now closing her eyes in pain. Yes; she was sick.

"What are you feeling?" Derek asks. That's the good thing about being doctors, and having a husband or wife that is a doctor too, in moments like this you know what to do, or how to stop the pain.

"My head, it hurts. And my stomach also does." Addison says, opening her eyes slowly, she has puffy eyes and she seems a little pale, Derek touches her forehead.

"You're hot. You must have got the flu." Derek tells her. But now what? She couldn't go working. And Derek felt sorry for letting her stay alone in the trailer she hated so much.

"Ugh.. the flu." Addison says, and starts coughing. "I hate this. I have a surgery today." Derek knew she hated that, she was in love with neonatal surgeon since meds school, he knew her since eleven years, even more, and she was about to be married to that woman for twelve years.

"I know, but you can't perform this way." Derek stood next to her. He caressed her arm and made her calm down. "I have an idea. I could drive you to a hotel, and then I can go to the hospital working, what do you think?"

"A hotel?!" She asks in happiness. She's still in pain but can manage to smile at him. Derek loved the way she was so childish sometimes.

"Yes sure, so you can have room service and stay there all day, I'll bring you medicine after work and we can spend the night there." Derek proposed. She nodded slightly. Derek stood up, Addison closed her eyes, trying to handle her headache. Suddenly she felt something heavy on her feet.

"Geez, what's that?" She said with a sick voice, opening her eyes slightly, spotting a bag of hers with another pair of pajamas and clothes. "Thank you." She almost mumbled, getting up from the bed, but now sitting there trying to handle the stomachache.

"You're welcome, hey, lay in there. I must have something for the headache." Derek says, looking into his things, he finds some pills and hands them to Addison.

"Thanks." She said weakly. Derek dressed up quickly, while Addison was also trying the same slowly. The flu was letting her with low energy. Derek was outside waiting for Addison, he could get late to the hospital considering the situation. Addison was looking into her things as fast as she could. Addison stepped outside, Derek had her bag, and she was wearing a warm big coat. Derek was ready so Addison was, they got both inside of the car and left.

"Can you turn off the air conditioner?" Addison complained. Derek nodded and turned it off. She was so pale and so weak. "I'm so upset I will miss this surgery." She commented. Derek held her hand.

"Oh, I'm sorry addie. I know the feeling." He smiled at her. She just closed her eyes and placed one of her hands on her forehead.

As soon as they were inside of their hotel room, Addison changed herself into pajamas, Derek checked her to make sure she was just having the flu.

"Addie, I gotta go for work, but if there's anything you need, just call me." Derek said to her, getting her under the covers, checking her forehead once again.

"Thank you. Don't worry, I will." She said. She was starting to fall asleep, being sick made her sleepy. Derek took his key of the room, his coat and then left as soon as he could, he had to find a replacement for Addison and he had to check on his patients.

Addison looked into her coat now, after Derek left she stood up slowly and took the dvd she had in her coat, the tv the hotel had was good, she wanted to watch that dvd now, for some reason this morning she was thinking about her wedding, a lot. She came back in bed, with the covers until her neck, feeling comfortable in the big bed and the soft pillows. She coughed a little, and then smiled at that stupid dvd, it was hilarious seeing herself so nervous, Nancy around her doing her make up... her brother flirting on Amelia even if she was the youngest person there.

Derek got to the hospital, Miranda Bailey looked upset seeing that he wasn't with his wife. "Where is Addison?" She said, walking towards Derek, following him through the corridors, until the lockers room.

"She's not coming, she got the flu. She's very sick. I need to find someone to cover her today, she mentioned she has a surgery today." Derek told bailey; while talking he was taking off his coat.

"She's got the flu in summer? That's weird. Are you sure she's okay?" She questioned Derek. Derek nodded, he was trying to hurry. "I will find someone to cover her, see you later in surgery." Miranda said, leaving the room. Derek was now in his classic scrubs, walking to check on some of his patients. Suddenly he realized Meredith was inside of the room of one of his patients. And he realized he hasn't told her yet... he hasn't talked to her... and she was now, looking at his ocean eyes reading the patients chart. He came inside of the room, greeting Doctor Grey and focusing on his patient.

Every intern knew that Satan and McDreamy were together again, but Meredith still didn't have any news about it for sure, she could see that everything was the same since the ball. Or gala... or dance... or prom! Or whatever it was! Derek came out of the room after checking on Nelson, his patient. She smiled at him, even flirted a little.

"Meredith..." he said in a serious tone, trying not to show too much "McDreaminess" If that was even possible. Derek and her walked inside of an on call room.

"Derek..." she flirted again. Derek looked at the floor and thought about the perfect words to practically tell her to back off from his marriage.

"Listen... what happened at prom, that was a mistake. A horrible mistake I committed to Addison. She's been working on this, I have been working on it. I'm sorry if I made you feel like us was going to happen..." Derek finally could speak the truth out.

"We already talked about this, it is not necessary."

"You keep looking at me that way! We need to talk. I..." Derek was trailed off by her.

"But... you chose her after all." Meredith nodded in sorrow. Not sorrow... it was more like disappointment.

"I did."

"I just don't get you. What about all that cheesy crap you said about me, about us? What about all of that, Derek?! What changed?" Meredith asks the man with ocean eyes standing in front of her.

Yes, he regretted every single word and verb he ever told that woman.

"I love her. Maybe she's not flawless, she also committed mistakes... but, it's not about who did what or who didn't... I'm in love with her." Derek was being spontaneous and he didn't know why he was saying too much cheesy crap to Meredith. Yes, that was what changed, Derek realized how much Addison meant to him.

"I understand. You want me to back off. You love her. She's your wife. I can't change what it's done." Meredith said seriously, doing little pauses between each sentence. Still flirting a little.

"No. Doctor Grey, I'm married. You don't get to flirt with me after what I just shared with you." Derek says seriously, rolling his eyes, getting out of the on call room. Meredith Grey was never going to be even similar to Addison, that was Derek's point. But, he thought he should have said '_let me live my life with the woman of my life, and don't look at me that way ever again._' But he didn't. he was a sweet man not wanting to. It was his heart, not his intentions.

As soon as he stepped out of the on call room he coughed a little. "Damn it!" He mumbles angry and walks away down the hall. She has infected me the flu. Amazing. He thought. He coughed a little again.

A kid got electrocuted and Derek was paged 911, he was walking quickly down the corridor, when a big strong arm stopped him. "Mark, what... what to you want?" Derek says a little weak, his voice shaking a little.

"Derek you are pale, where are you going? You're sick! You gotta go home." Mark states. Derek rolls his eyes and coughs.

"Wow, now you look at me in the eye? I am totally fine." Derek takes his ex-best friend hand out of his arm. _Why does he even care._

"Hey, man, you really do not look good. Go home." Mark says again, walking down the hall. Derek suddenly feels his head so heavy and realizes that Mark is right. He is sick. Chief Webber now walks down the corridor.

"Excuse me, Chief... I'm sick, I need to go home." Derek says. "Addison must have infected me the flu this morning..." _Hell yes she did._

"Oh Shepherd... well, go home, or take a pill. Do whatever is best for you." The chief says leaving him in the corridor, he practically ran away excited for the new case.

Derek stood there for a little and went to change into his clothes, so he could join Addison at the hotel room. As soon as he entered his key, and he opened the door, he spotted Addison in the bed, looking awful. She was asleep and there was a movie on the tv. At first Derek didn't really checked what was on tv but then he stopped for a minute to just realize it was Addison and him in their wedding day dancing. Derek coughed again, waking Addison up.

"Hi..." she says sleepy, opening her eyes. Derek takes some pills from his pocket, and he leaves them in the nightstand.

"Hi, I got the flu." Derek says, he throws his stuff in the floor not caring about it, he takes his clothes off and gets inside of the bed. Both shaking, they were cold. _We got the flu!_

"I got my period." Addison cries. Derek tried not to laugh and just embraced her, caressing her back.

"We are having a bad day..." he says. "Do you need anything?" Derek asks, kissing her temple. She coughs and cuddles next to him.

"No... I have enough tampons." Addison starts laughing. Derek can't help but starts laughing too, she doesn't know why but she hates the feeling of being sick. It's ironic that they spend everyday around sick people and barely get sick. They had to end their laughing, they started coughing. Addison sighed. "I hate being sick."

"Me too. You were watching our wedding?" Derek then goes to look at the tv for a moment.

"Kind of... I fell asleep. I think I slept the whole day..." Addison says. Derek pulses rewatch on the control remote, so they can watch all over again. Mark and Derek's scene appeared. "I'm not even hungry."

"Same." Derek says, cuddling closer to her.

"Jerk!" Both said. Then both giggled and got much more comfortable, Addison was resting her head on Derek's shoulder and he had his arms around her.

"Look at that!" Derek laughed at Nancy stressing out in the wedding video.

"I can hardly believe that this was almost twelve years ago..." Addison said, caressing Derek's shoulder.

"Me too." Derek agreed. There was a long silence. Both very concentrated on the movie. Addison walking down the aisle with that beautiful dress. "Besides, somehow me haven't aged." Both laughed at that one.


	4. Chapter 4

**_'What love made us do'_**

**_Chapter_** **_4_**

thank you all for the reviews and following my fanfic! love you all.

_Two weeks later..._

"No! I just can't understand why the necessity she has like giving me this pain in the ass. I work here, I'm tired of babysitting interns. I can handle Stevens, but... just no!" Addison says out loud, sitting on the desk of her little office. Derek just listens and tries not to laugh at her upset expression. "I mean, I already... _We _already had to deal with the whole drama and now I have her on my services again?!?" Addison acts like the drama queen she is. She takes all her hair with her two hands and twirls it up so she can now be wearing a bun. "It's totally unfair! I mean, I can have Karev if she wants me to, he's a real asshole but I can handle him, but nope! I do not want her on my services anymore, not her!" Derek felt a little guilty that she was so uncomfortable with her because of him, it was his fault. But, what was done, it was totally done, and he couldn't change anything.

"Just ask her to have another intern? She can't be that mean." Derek laughed; now approaching to her. Addison knew she could just do that, Bailey was going to say no, as always.

"I know, but still. She definitely going to say no. Derek, she's the nazi. It's not fair!" Addison repeats. Derek looks at his watch, Addison seemed down because of her whole _intern thing _she didn't want to spend twenty four hours with her again. It was okay for one day. Not again!

"Thought maybe the nazi and Satan could be good friends?" Derek's humor wasn't helping, Addison just rolled her eyes.

"Ha, ha, funny." Addison punches his shoulder playfully.

"Got a surgery in ten minutes, see you later." Derek kissed her cheek. "Love you" He then took his phone from the table and left her alone in there. Doctor Torres; Callie, stepped inside forcing Addison to look at her.

"Have you seen O'Malley?" Torres asks. Addison first analyzes her morning, trying to remember if she ever saw the little man near her.

"No, not at all. Today I have Doctor Grey in my services again" Addison rolls her eyes. (She's very into that today!) "You got O'Malley?"

"Yes. Can't find him and I have surgery in twenty minutes. Good luck with Grey." Callie says, stressed, knowing she had things to do.

"Can we switch?" Addison begs. Callie laughs and muttered no several times and dancing, both laughed and she left the room. Two minutes later Meredith Grey was at her door.

"I'm sorry if I'm interrupting, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith said while Addison was on the computer checking some things.

"It's okay Doctor Grey. What do we have today?" Addison takes her glasses off, she sighs and nods while Doctor Grey talks to her.

"I understand I have a surgery with Alexandra Mendez, the chart isn't here?" Addison said, standing up from her chair to check the charts Meredith had, in case she could have ignored that one.

"Not that I can see... it's not on the board or schedule, I checked before coming." Grey says smart. Addison nods and gets out of the room where they were, she walks over the nurses station, being followed by Grey.

"Who's performing Alexandra Mendez' surgery today?" Addison asks. The nurse checks on her computer and waits a minute, reading it.

"Doctor Aylin Harris is performing that surgery today." The nurse replied. Addison nods with a smile at the nurse and then mutters a 'thank you' to her. Addison turns to face her intern and smiles at her.

"Well Doctor Grey, you are lucky, you are about to learn how to stole a surgery they already have stole from you." Addison says. She walks over the board and spots Doctor Harris' name in the board for the surgery, the surgery Addison took at first days ago. Addison deletes the name of doctor Harris and replaces it with her name, changing the surgery 10 minutes earlier so she could get there earlier and just win. "That's how you gain surgeries."

_Satan... is kind of awesome? _Meredith tells herself. Addison keeps walking and checking her patients, Meredith following.

"Grey can you please resume Margot's case?" Addison asks Meredith. Grey talks about her health and her problems, Addison already read he chart and she doesn't really care. Addison was thinking about other things, not remembering if she did packed her red bra... they were already moving to their new loft and now she was complaining about her lingerie while she was looking at Doctor Grey talking.

"Okay good, so, let's give it a look!" Addison says, approaching the monitor to Margot, her young patient. She checks the vitals and explains why her abdominal pain. The same _it's normal don't worry. Your body is adjusting _Dilemma that's he had to give to every patient who had things like this one."Your child is completely healthy!" Margot smiles at that sentence and squeezes her husband's hand. Addison was feeling so annoyed by the Intern, she could feel her judging look all the time, a constant pain in the ass.

Addison steps outside and checks the hour. "Time for surgery, Doctor Grey." Addison says happily, ready to perform that simple procedure. Yes, maybe it was a simple c-section. But Addison really didn't liked to get stolen by other doctors that aren't as good as her. She was a master. Already inside, she can see doctor Harris in the gallery, she's mad and pissed and she loves that.

After surgery it was lunch time, Addison used to take a seat with her husband and the chief, even Burke, but today she was sitting with Calliope Torres.

"She's so annoying, she's always looking at me, I can hear her whispering things in my back... I would rather kill myself than having to have her one more day. It's been a bad day." Addison expresses herself. Callie just nods and swallows her coffee.

"That sucks. Where's Shepherd by the way?" Callie asks for no reason.

"Third surgery of the day, he might be getting out now. I'm even jealous of my husband." Addison laughs.

"Me too. I usually get boring emergency cases that are all just stress pain in the neck. They should go to a spa, not a hospital." Callie declares. "Why do they even come here if they know it's nothing?! Today I had my first surgery since four days."

"Same, patients come for nothing, really. Today I stole- Crap, this whole _Meredith Grey _thing got me such an annoying pain in my lower stomach that I-" she stopped herself and realized what she was talking about. _I KNOW WHATS GOING ON! _She yelled to herself in her own thoughts. "Oh my- Callie, I'm- I'm ovulating!" Addison says proudly. Callie laughs.

"Congrats? I guess?" Callie says. Addison stands up from her seat and checks the hour. She was surprised she didn't even realize it earlier. She must have stopped checking when she was ovulating since the whole moving thing was the only thing she did in her free time in the past days.

"Gotta go, see you!" Addison says. She practically flew. When she found her husband she took his hand surprising him.

"Hey!" He greeted her. She smiled even bigger. "What's going on?"

"I'm ovulating." Addison says. Derek doesn't even think about it and pushes her into the next on call room he sees, he locks the room. Derek kisses her deeply, making her melt. That feeling... just could make her his slave so easily. She had her hands in the back of his head. They both barely could breathe while kissing. Addison was now without any pants still being against the wall, Derek kissing her neck. They moved to the bed near them, having their action, in the middle of their show... they paged Addison. _Really? Now? Why!?_

Both had to stop and dress up as soon as they could, Addison left the room before Derek, as a goodbye she kissed him and said "I'm sorry!"

Addison going down the hall, almost running, she spots Meredith Grey in there with a chart checking the patient... typical things... pulse, temperature... etc! "What happened?" Addison asks getting inside of the room, joining her hair into a bun.

"She has internal bleeding!" Grey says, checking her belly. The pregnant woman was unconscious and was confused; not understanding why she was this way and what happened.

"Oh my God, we need to take her to an ER as soon as possible. You! We need a clean ER right now!" I told a nurse. The nurse nodded and moved herself. "You know what? Cancel the ER!" Addison yells out loud. "We don't have time, I need an scalpel, sponges and all that you can borrow to do this precedure." Addison was stressing out.

Derek was relieved he was finally home. Finding his empty new loft, he takes his shoes and coat off. His tie is out also, finding himself walking inside of his and hers room, jumping in the empty bed. He's so happy and calmed he's home, even if there was barely furniture and for now their room was the only place with actual things... it seemed almost as a normal room.

Addison came out of the bathroom wearing her robe, tired. It was dark outside and both were too tired. Addison jumped in bed next to Derek, grabbing his hand. "I'm so tired. No, not tired, exhausted." She almost whispers. Derek squeezes her hand slightly and laughs.

"Me too. What a shame our next day off is in nine days." Derek says. Addison groaned at that sentence, she moved herself from him and got inside of the bed.

"I need to sleep." Addison says. "And please don't remind me that." Addison jokes and laughs.

"I love my job, but it is very tiring." Derek says, taking his clothes off. The pills Addison was taking made her feel emotional and tired, well, exhausted to be exact.

"It is." Addison opens his side of the bed while he walks to the closet to get his pajamas. For a moment everything is silent and she smiles at the relieved she has, finally new home.

Derek suddenly jumps in bed scaring Addison. "God! You scared me." Addison says terrified. Derek just laughed and got inside of the bed. Addison rolled her eyes and started taking her robe off, showing her matching red bra and panties; she just wanted to get some goodnight sleep. Even if Derek wanted to do much more than sleeping, she wasn't going to let him, at least not tonight, they already did it in an on-call room.

"Addison Shepherd!" Derek snaps at her, she looks at him and notices those blue eyes turning even bluer. _Not tonight. _"You are a snack." He giggled.

"What? I am a what?" Addison replied with a laugh, getting the meaning of 'snack' but still kind of confused. Derek got comfortable in bed and waited for Addison to cuddle with him. "You are the snack." She mumbled turning the light off, moving closer to her husband. Now they were both holding hands. Derek knew Addison and he wasn't going to beg for sex, he could wait, for her.

_Days passed…_

Addison woke up that morning and she could feel different, it wasn't a dark feeling, it was just umcomfortable, maybe even melancholic, and then she knew what was going on inside of her mind, _I would be in labor today, but its already gone. _It was May 21 She was going to have a child with Mark Sloan, much more than a man whore he was also a good friend of Derek's and hers, her unconscious self knew it was today.

She moved herself to check the hour; it was four thirty and she couldn't go back to sleep, so she stepped up from the bed and decided to take a shower so she could be ready way before Derek. She wondered if Mark was going to remember, or if she was going to be brave enough to tell Derek about it one day.

She didn't want to ruin everything, she wanted to be happy with her handsome husband, but she knew it was not going to be quite happy for her if she takes that secret to the grave, or Mark would tell him or comment about it eventually, he didn't have a filter. She entered the shower, trying not to wake Derek up, knowing he was probably exhausted.

_If I tell him he will hate me, or he will just support me? What the hell am I supposed to do?! I was pregnant and I never said anything. And now after almost a year, I mean, 9 months exactly, I will tell him?_

She hated herself, and she was going to tell Derek, maybe not today, or tomorrow… but soon. Yes, soon. As soon as she stepped out of the shower she took her towel and walked to her closet that was inside of her bedroom, it was a walk in closet, she noticed Derek was not in the bed anymore, then the smell of morning coffee helped her to get an idea of where her husband was. _Where the hell are my heels? _In the kitchen. She maybe left them there last night after coming from a long day at the hospital. She came out of her room and walked through the corridor, she heard Derek laughing at something, at the start she didn't understand why that laughter until she discovered they weren't alone.

"Mark! Hi! What are you doing here?" Addison asked entering the kitchen in her towel, at the first attempt she thought it was weird to see Derek laughing with him but then remembered what Derek said… they were hanging out again.

"Good morning Addie!" He said greeting her, Derek looked at his half naked wife. Mark didn't look any miserable which made her wonder if he even knew today was the day or if he was concentrated on having sex with me when we were arguing about it 9 months back in New York.

"Morning honey, you slept good?" Derek asked handing her a cup of just made coffee, she took a sip and nodded, she walked away right away, feeling too awkward being next to Sloan, wearing just a towel. Addison went into her room walking quickly, trying not to pour any coffee on the floor or on her, she was freaking out a little, the depression was eventually going to hit her, she knew this was going to cost her a lot, a real pain in the ass.

Addison entered the hospital almost shaking, she was walking between Mark and Derek_, the love triangle thingy never gets old._ She wasn't comfortable being next to her ex lover and the father of the unborn child that she aborted, she still felt like an evil bitch for practically committing murder against a human being of her own, for her it was murder… she didn't have any good reasons, she was selfish, and she knew it. Other women abort after being raped, or if the mother or child has a horrible disease, but she aborted because she couldn't carry a man whore's child, and she still loved her husband, that made her feel bad.

Derek could notice something weird going on with Addison, he couldn't doubt it, maybe she was feeling sick or something else, but it seemed much more as a thought that could not let her breathe in peace, otherwise those pills full of hormones were really turning her crazy. When the three of them went inside of the lockers room where they usually changed, he could notice Addison wasn't smiling at all, she was all serious, this was not her.

She just putted her typical doctor's coat, she didn't have any surgeries today, just consults and appointments with some of her clients. She wanted to act okay in front of everyone but she could not. Derek kissed her cheek, that made her smirk a little. "What's wrong?" Derek asked.

Mark was just behind them. "Nothing, I'm fine" Addison informed Derek, she pecked his lips and exited the room as soon as she was ready for her day, she checked twice… _glasses, done. Makeup, done. Ignoring mark sloan, done. _

Walking down the hall Alex Karev runs into her, she doesn't know how to react at the annoying intern, he was wearing that regular boring face. She smirked a little, wondering why the man was still in front of her.

"Are we going to work, or… do you want me to waste my time on standing in here doing nothing?" The intern snapped. Addison didn't say any word. She laughed at his ego and just walked to the nurse station to read some of her new patients charts, she handed Karev all the charts after checking them. Karev just rolled his eyes and followed the redhead into a room from the emergency part of the hospital. Usually people always came into the emergency department because people are lazy and don't like making appointment with any doctors, or they just are all drama queen and think that a little cut with paper in a finger is worst than a brain tumor.

"Alexandra, right?" Addison greets her patient, who nods her head. "I am doctor Addison Shepherd, I am going to be attending you today." Addison gave the young teenager her hand, faking a big smile. "Doctor Karev, could you please explain me what is Alexandra here for?" Alex nodded and rolled his eyes, as always… _arrogant little bitch_. She thought.

"Alexandra is sixteen weeks pregnant and four days…" Alex kept talking, Addison could not stop looking at that girl's almost none belly and felt bad, again. She wasn't paying attention at all, at least she already read the chart and she didn't really care.

Derek spots Addison at the nurse station hours later, she's sited in a chair with a notebook writing something, Derek surprises her by massaging her shoulders, she shacked a little when she felt someone touching her but then felt relieved it was just her perfect handsome husband. Ugh, Mark was just in front of them flirting with a new trauma surgeon, "What a jerk…" Addison says, pissed that apparently he didn't remember what day was today, he was indeed not aware.

"Why? You are pissed because he's not flirting at you?" Derek kind of jokes and stop the massage, waiting for an answer from the lady with the light blue eyes. She turned the chair around so she could Derek's face.

"Why would I be jealous? He's always been a jerk." Addison fake laughs and takes her red glasses off. Derek knows she's suffering about something and it might have something to do about Mark. Maybe, just maybe, the story was repeating again? Or that was the impression he got from all of this. But Derek was not going to find out by just asking Addison what was wrong, he was going to try his McDreamy gifts… the charm and charisma.

"True." He laughed. "Wanna go out for dinner tonight? Maybe some Italian food would cheer you up, you seem kinda depressed." He's been honest, letting her know he knows something is off, giving her a chance to speak up all her thoughts, she smirks slightly.

"Yes sure, I am fine. Are you taking me to a fancy restaurant?" she flirts a little, even with that air of sadness, she winks at him playfully and looks into his eyes. They always say that you can see someone's soul trough their eyes, well, Derek could see and feel his wife was hiding something very important, and this time it wasn't gossip, or anything cheerful to be glad of hearing.

"I am, maybe you should wear that red dress that suits you so wonderfully" he says filled by charms, trying to at least see some change on Addison's little, tiny, almost none smirk. She nods "it's a date!" and then she rolls her chair to open her notebook again. He laughed at what he saw what she was drawing in there. "AD"._\- it was a date._

Addison comes out of the bathroom of an on-call room, spotting Mark in the bed, looking at the bathroom door, seeing how she was getting out of there.

"If you are here for sex, it will not happen this time." Addison replied moving her head, so her hair can move from her face, she lays one of her hands on her hip, rolling her eyes, not even on the mood like looking into her ex-lover eyes.

"It's May 21 Did you notice that?" He remembered. Addison hated herself even more for doubting on him, the baby wasn't a real big deal for her, but it was an opportunity she missed and she was hurt, knowing her actual husband didn't know a word about the whole subject. It was May 21...

"Yeah… I thought you didn't remembered. You seemed so fresh and happy, almost like nothing ever happened." Addison says walking slowly towards Mark, she sits next to him and sighs.

"I did… actually this morning I went to your apartment to check if you were miserable." Mark shares his true intentions of his stop at their home this morning. Addison takes a deep breath. "You should be in labor by now." Mark jokes, making the red head next to him laugh a little. Addison rests a hand on his shoulder, showing support.

"Yeah. It's crazy… life is complicated, plans always change, things vanish… people fade away… and then suddenly you are in bed with your husband's best friend. Karma is a total bitch." Addison says, remembering and regretting so much. The silence fills the room, the smell of plastic coming from the gloves, the air conditioner making them feel colder.

"I wanted to call him Nicholas." Mark mumbles. Addison looks away, she doesn't want to cry, but it keeps hurting her, she almost lost her husband nine months ago and she also had to kill her own child. Well, she did lose the husband, but now she was getting him back. "You're going to be a great mother, I don't doubt anything about it. You two will work it out." There's no response from her. She wiped a tear coming out of her eye and stood up quickly from the bed. "Are you telling Derek?" Mark asks.

"yes…" Addison nods and wipes another tear coming out of her eye. Mark nods back, showing understanding, knowing his best friend was going to hate him even more, but after all as a friend, he did wanted Derek's and Addison's happiness, even if that meant ending up as the villain of the whole soap opera. Even Mark himself thought it was the right thing, he knew how crazy they were for each other, that much it made him want to puke. Addison left the room quietly and slowly, she didn't want to act rude, obviously.

Coming out of that on-call room she felt even worst, her heart was aching and she was nervous and full of fear. Telling Derek was the right thing, being honest with the man you love it is important, If you don't have trust, you don't have nothing. No one can plant seeds without water and sun. She walked to her little office, where she used to check her computer and other kind of things. She didn't want to chat or see anyone, and she was happy there was a car accident and Bailey had to take Karev with her to the ER. She was all alone.

She closed the curtains and locked herself in there, taking a sit on the floor, letting her head rest on her knees. She believed aborting her child turned out to be a trauma, or shock, in a mental heath way of speaking. She really wanted children, but not with the hot guy every girl had sex with, not with the man whore, not with her husband's best friend, not with her second best friend besides her own husband, not with Mark Sloan. She started crying. She didn't know what to do when someone knocked on the door.

Addison stood up, cleaning the back of her skirt in case there was more dirt in it, considering she was crying on the floor, she wiped a tear away from her face and took a deep breath. Miranda Bailey was at the door. _I thought you were in surgery. _She told herself.

"Hello Addison, am I interrupting anything? Are you busy?" Miranda asks, Addison fakes a smile and nods.

"No, not at all, come on in; what's up? What can I help you with?" Addison shows herself kind and understanding, when on the inside she's screaming and begging for some love and support. Miranda looked at her in a weird way, almost like analyzing her expressions just in case; She entered the room, Addie sat down and played with the pearl necklace she was wearing.

"Well, I came to tell you some good news, I've just heard that the chief will name you chief of the Obstetrics department again! Congratulations, Shepherd." Miranda smiled at her and even offered a kind hug. She accepted the hug and smirked; it felt so good to be embraced. Miranda broke the hug, even she was surprised she did hug her.

"That's great news, thank you for telling me!" Addison tries her best happy impression for Bailey, trying not to show herself weak. The night she found Meredith's panties she quit and she gave the position to another doctor... she was _that_ depressed.

Miranda notices something, she maybe never met Addison Adrianne Forbes Montgomery – Shepherd in a sentimental or deep way; But she knew that the woman was pure flames all the time, always acting bossy and cheerful, never like a lost sheep that doesn't fit with the goats.

"Are you okay?" Bailey ask, questioning Addison's not so cheerful face.

"I'm fine, I swear." Addison gives her a little smile and nods her head a little; showing or trying to show some cheerfulness, which doesn't really works and leaves Miranda wondering a lot of things.

"Okay… It's almost seven, you must get ready to go home, see you tomorrow, new chief of maternity." Miranda says waving a little goodbye, Addison closes the door, takes a deep breath and walks out of that room showing herself some strength, knowing she has a lot of that. She finds her husband at the room where they change their clothes, she smirked, she was happy to see him.

"Any good surgeries?" Addison asks, taking the doctor's coat off. Her husband turned to see her.

"Hey. Two huge brain tumors today." He says proud of himself taking his scrubs off. Addison smirks and checks her phone, she goes through some texts, finding one from her brother.

_Hi Addie, wanted to check on you; How's seattle? Noticed the day and felt like letting you know your brother supports you._

She didn't even remembered she told her brother once, maybe it happened one of those drinking in new York nights after the abort, she quite forgot a lot in those months. Derek turned to see the smirk on her face while reading the text her brother sent her. For her, her brother was one of her real friends, even if he was annoying sometimes, they were family. Addison left her phone inside of her purse and joined all her hair into a messy bun, she was ready to go home and get inside of that red stunning dress that Derek adored so much to see on her.

On the way home, Addison was so quiet. Derek married the most annoying and noisy woman in the whole world and she wasn't complaining about anything or anyone, not even about the fact that she had as intern Alex Karev for the day. She wasn't talking about cases, and she wasn't sharing anything to him. As soon as they were home, Derek opened the door for her, she smirked tenderly again, he had seen that tiny smirk the whole day, and he had heard a lot of forced laughs too coming from her.

Entering the elevator Derek couldn't help it anymore.

"What's going on with you?" Derek asks. Addison looks down to her shoes.

"I don't know what you are talking about, I'm good, I'm fine." Addison says, lying. "Why don't we just talk while having dinner?" Addison asks, that means there's something she wants to share with him, and she knows he knows she's not fine. Because she truly isn't. Addison couldn't help but wonder; _What if I had the baby? Would I be standing in this elevator with the man I love? Would I even be in Seattle?_

Derek loved that dress, he really did; it remembered him their young years when he used to take Addison dancing and having fun out of home, those were good memories that he really wished they would never erase from his memory. His wife is putting on her earrings, looking at herself in the mirror, making him wanting to ran towards her and kiss her. She smiled at herself, and Derek had to wait until she was totally fancy enough by her point of view. Her hair was free and that made Derek feel free too, he loved how that suited her so well, he married a perfect human being, but also very imperfect.

"Ready to go?" Derek asks the stunning woman in front of him. She smirked brighter this time, showing more happiness than through the day.

"Sure." She replied softly, taking his hand and walking out of the apartment with him. She smiled and took a deep breath, she squeezed Derek's hand and looked into his eyes, she pecked his lips. It was a date. Addison felt special even if it was a dark day for her, while she was dressing up she was telling herself she had to let it go because it was done and maybe it was a huge mistake, even worse than sleeping with Mark, but she had to learn from those terrible mistakes one day and she had to overcome her fears, which helped her to decide to tell Derek all about her and Mark's baby. The unborn child they never got to meet.

It was in fact, May 21.

Hope you liked this chapter! Took me a little while to update, sorry for that. Well, I hope you enjoyed - thank you all for the reviews in the last chapters, they are all so positive and kind, thank u. 3


	5. Chapter 5

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 5_**

/_before starting this chapter I want to clarify that yes, I did "violated" what Addison said in Season 3 episode 18. I wanted to make some drama by doing something like "May 21" and girl, it turned out I killed the vibe... sorry!_

They were going to take a cab back home; both drank wine and didn't have any of their cars there. They were on the street waiting for the cab. Their dinner went pretty well but quite quiet. Derek knew that he married a loud and crazy and sassy woman, she used to talk about all the topics possible, but she didn't even shared with him about her position again on the OB department. He wanted to know what was going, and she said she was going to talk about it, she seemed calm now, cheerful that before.

"Addie, what's going on? Please tell me the truth. I don't get why you seem so unhappy." Derek asked finally, she shacked a little in fear, he looked at her, questioning his wife's expressions. She turned a little to look at him in the eye, she was serious now, was this what she really wanted? She had to say it. There was silence for a minute; Addison looked for the perfect words.

"Today is May 21" She said, taking a deep breath, promising herself she was going to be strong and her tears weren't going to stop her from telling him the whole truth. She knew it was the perfect time. If they really were going to work it out, she had to speak. _Spill it, Addison! _She told herself. "Back in New York; When you left and we ended everything… I found out I _was _pregnant." Addison says totally sincere.

Derek has hide eyes widen, he can not believe what he just heard coming out of her mouth. _Pregnant? Like, pregnant for real pregnant?_ He felt stupid for even asking himself that. She was pregnant. The memories of his wife and his best friend in bed made him hate himself, he had that horrible feeling again, the one he felt when he saw someone else's jacket in the floor of his own home, the feeling that he had as soon as he opened that door.

The feeling of losing someone he loved. Addison didn't know what else to say, she expected something from Derek, but he was speechless and he was going to stay that way for a while, processing the fact that his wife was pregnant and he just found out after almost a year.

"Today I would be in the middle of giving birth, I aborted." Was it okay to freak out? He left his wife's hand fall from his hand, he couldn't feel okay about it. For a moment he was grateful she didn't kept it as a secret anymore, but also, it terrified him that she ended up pregnant with his best friend's child.

"Addison... How- I mean- how..?" Derek didn't know what to do._ What just happened? My wife and my best friend? Why me?_ The feeling full of fear was there, the adrenaline rising… he could even hear Addison laughing between the kisses of his best friend, his brother.

"I'm sorry I never told you." She said sincerely, afraid of losing him again. She knew it was the right thing to do, or that was she felt like. Was this going to end their marriage? No more Addison and Derek? He was totally devastated. "Derek…" He moved himself away from Addison for a minute. He reflected. But Derek didn't really understood how much influence that date had on her... it was May 21.

Derek walked away slowly, Addison didn't know what to do. _Follow him, maybe? Follow him and let him know you love him? No, that would be like stalking, and he needs space to reflect and understand what the heck I just told him. _

Addison walked to the other way, and took a cab to her home, she didn't know if he was coming home, he didn't know if _they_ were over. Addison entered their loft and took off her bra as soon as she could, feeling half relieved, she still didn't know where Derek was or if he was okay.

Jumping in the bed, she couldn't help but think that maybe his revenge was _'active'_ again, maybe Meredith Grey was on him right now and she was losing her husband. Repeating the story made her feel terrified, she didn't want to lose him, not again. She was usually the one screwing everything up, the arguments, the adultery.

That night she didn't sleep, she wasn't up to it. She couldn't, she was nervous and terrified and feeling awful for making Derek hate her, also it was still May 21; It was still the day her child was going to birth.

"Have you seen Doctor Shepherd?" Addison asks Meredith Grey, not really noticing it was her at the first attempt. When she looks at the blonde woman next to her she realizes of how stupid that was. "I'm sorry…"

"Nurse station, floor number three. He's operating with Burke." Grey says tolling her eyes and walking away from the stunning and tall redhead. She moves herself and looks down to the third floor, indeed he's there reading the story of one of his patients probably.

She moves the scarf she's wearing; she can feel how some people look at her in a weird way; Well, Seattle morning where cold, right?

Burke is right next to his side; Addison prays the fact that she aborted Mark's child wasn't an anecdote Derek told doctor Preston Burke in the past two days. Yes, two days.

They only met if Addison had to go home for clean clothes; she liked to be the one staying in the hotel, she liked to be the one getting away. After yesterday it seemed to be the best she could do for both.

_Yesterday… _

_"I can't understand how you were hiding this for literally nine freaking months!" Derek yells, he's upset, he's pissed, he hates everything and everyone._

_"I couldn't tell you! I mean, I could, but it wasn't that easy, is not easy still. I aborted a child for you, Derek! I wanted things to go back to the normality and I couldn't do it without you." Addison yells back at him. They decided to chat at home and see if they could work on the whole secret bomb Addison shared the other night. Chatting turned out being arguing._

_"So now you blame me for something that Mark did to you? I never wished or desired or whatever, to make you end up in that position, you did it all yourself! You slept with my best friend. You aborted that child, not me, Addison." Derek states. _

_"You know what, maybe I'll go to another town!" He was acting because of the angriness, but he didn't meant anything for real, he was so upset._

_"No! I'll go. I can't understand how you don't get what I have left for you." Addison says in impulse, noticing what she said was absurd. "You had to know! You wanted honesty since the start, since you said I do eleven years ago."_

_"Did Mark know?" He stops yelling for a second and passes his hand through his black hair that had the haircut Addison loved. She nodded. He got the message, now he was also pissed Mark never said a word._

_There was silence again, she took some of her clothes and left him all alone in that loft, determined to stay the night away from him and the words he said. He wasn't sorry about saying all that stuff while arguing, but he realized that Addison was being brave enough to tell him, and he wasn't seeing that while yelling at her. _

Addison was so tired of the whole arguing, pretending the other one doesn't exist and hating each other game. She was to go and talk to her husband, to finally end this whole war, coming down the stairs, she spots Richard talking to him and Burke.

She hears her name and walks over the men, she takes her glasses off and looks at all the men's faces. "Good morning Preston, Richard." She greets them. She sighs; "Derek." She also greets him trying not be so unkind, but she wanted to try to be sassy anyway, it was the nature of Addison Montgomery.

"Hey Addison, we thought of going for some drinks tomorrow's night to celebrate your come back as chief of OB; what do you think?" Richard asks, Preston nods and Derek rolls his eyes at the way Addison shakes her head a little to accomplish taking a little bit of hairs that were bothering her.

"I think it sounds great. What about eight thirty?" Addison says, acting cheerful and trying to show her sexy part to Derek; That part that rest her hand on her hip and touches her earrings or necklace. Richard nods at the redhead.

"Sounds good to me." Preston says. Addison nods and giggles a little; Satan had her enchants and charisma, Derek wasn't the only cute one here. Derek nods and leaves the group, he's proud of his wife, and he wants things to work; but he's still mad and he will not change his mind that easily.

A trauma; A pregnant woman fell down the stairs, she was having contractions and internal bleeding inside of her brain, the Shepherds where there to save the day once again, even if Addison didn't want to see him after all that he said.

She understood the angriness, but there was no need to say all those mean and horrible words, even if he used to react this way, he liked yelling. She knew that when he was altered he was going to act that way. She knew him well.

Shepherd and She-Shepherd were paged 911 to operate on this young twenty four woman. At the very start Addison refused to even be next to him in an ER, she wanted to be gentle and kind and humble with her husband, she wanted things to work out, she wanted her fairy tale to happen. She wanted to accomplish something she really wanted, besides what she already learned that was being a neonatal surgeon; Reason why she didn't give her spot operating today, her job was her passion. She should have married her job, right?!

Addison entered; ready to scrub in. While she's cleaning her hands, Derek enters. She mutters a little 'damn'.

"Addison?" Derek asks, touching the swollen little part of her neck, now he understood why she was wearing a scarf earlier, but he didn't know what to believe, Mark again? Addison shakes herself making Derek take his hand away. He thinks the worst and shows Addison a horrible expression. "Did you cheated again?" he asks so serious.

"What? Of course not." Addison affirms, he doesn't know if he should believe McHottie.

"Then explain what the hell is that hickey doing in your neck". Derek snaps and she looks at him with that insulted face. She rolls her eyes, what a paranoid husband she had, she looked herself in the glass of the little window with view to the table. Wow, in fact, it was swollen.

"It is not a hickey and there's nothing I should explain to you, you're pissed at me and you don't talk to me, because now you ignore me." Addison says, about to enter there so she could just take that scalpel and operate. But no, Derek took her by the arm.

_What now? _She thinks to herself, she looks behind her neck spotting Derek's blue eyes. _Don't fall again for those eyes… no, please, Addison, stay strong and don't melt for those beautiful blue eyes… McDreamy is an ass, remember?_

"Derek. Let me go." Addison tells Derek, in a cold tone.

"What happened to your neck?" He looks at it and wonders literally _Who did you slept with?_

"you don't want to know, it's embarrassing and you are going to make a fool of me until forever." She says entering the room now, not letting him catch her this time. Derek enters the room behind her.

"Come on, i have seen you naked, why i cant know your silly secret?" Derek says, walking to where he had to be to open that woman's brain.

"A shower tube fell in my neck" she says rolling her eyes and preparing everything for doing a c-section. Derek can't help but starts laughing, hard. He shuts himself up and starts with the surgery, Addison concentrates on her patient and for a moment tries to forget that her annoying husband was just right by her side.

_That resting bitch face never gets old... _Derek thinks to himself by looking at her for a moment.

After surgery Addison tries to ignore Derek and also tries to hide the fact that her neck hurts more than ever, Derek wants her back... and then the words she says exactly... "_I was pregnant"_ . Mark Sloan was lucky to not be so around the neuro department because Derek would already have killed him and buried him.

"What If its all over and he doesn't wanna work things out? Maybe he even slept with the Intern again and I'm not seeing anything!" Addison tells Callie all her struggles. The Latina woman just listens and eats her lunch.

"I mean... Addison, he loves you. I don't think he could do something like this to you. At least not again after all the effort you two have been doing for the last months!" Callie says her opinion and Addison has to deal with the truth. _He loves me. _She tells herself. Was she just going to let everything fall apart?

_She walks through the corridor with that serious face that makes me kiss her to see a smile in there, her legs have always been perfect... she enters the plastic surgery department... wait, what the hell is Addison doing in there?! _Addison thought to himself.

"Hey." Addison said entering Mark's new little office. He was surprised.

"Hey?" He greeted back. Addison took a sit in there. He didn't understand what she was doing there, but she wasn't asking her to leave.

"I need you to make Derek feel jealous... are you coming tomorrow to have some drinks after work? I need to arrive with you and be funny around you so I can make my marriage to work out." Addison begs Mark. Mark starts laughing suddenly and she doesn't understand why the heck he was starting to freak out in laughter.

"You want me to act like we have something?" Mark plays around with it.

"Um, yes! Kind of." She agrees. She needs to 'wake Derek up' . Why was Mark complaining so bad if he was always glad of helping other people to annoy other people, it was almost like a gift from God.

"Sorry not sorry. I'll not do such thing." Addison opens her mouth in amusement; knowing how much he and her like to annoy Derek all the time, always facing him with the song thing at the wedding... and stupid stuff like that.

"What? Why not!? Come on Mark, we are friends, ex lovers, now friends, you can do this for me!" Addison begs again, making the hot good looking man roll his eyes.

"I would not want him to punch my face again for you? Maybe that's the reason why I don't want to do it? And also because he's my friend, Addie. You are also, but we both owe him our respect." _Mark was growing up? Getting mature? What was going on!? _

"At least go." Addison begs again, she doesn't give Mark time to respond, she just leaves the room and closes the door behind her; walking to the elevator, she had to check on two patients. Mark will go anyways even if he says he will not. Sadly Derek saw Addison coming out of his office, and seconds after his wife wasn't around the sector, he got inside of Mark's office now.

"What was that about?" Derek asks as soon as he gets inside of the office, closing the door behind him. Mark rolled his eyes; _Are you serious? Another Shepherd to deal with?_

"Nothing Derek; She asked if I was going tomorrow having drinks at Joe's because of her new position, i don't know, I don't care." Mark says sincerely. Derek hasn't talked about the whole... 'thing' with Mark and he really would like to hear his version of the story; he blamed Addison a lot, but he also was aware of his best friend's charms. Every girl melt for the figure of Mark Sloan.

"You sure?" Derek asked.

"Yes. She told you..? didn't she?" Mark was aware, he could see how Derek's stressed face turned into a more depressing one, miserable even. He kind of felt sorry for his best friend, he screwed his marriage up and now he expected him to understand what happened and why he did such thing with her wife?

"She did. I can't believe I found out after literally 9 months. How could you in first place sleep with my wife?" Derek didn't know the point of the question but somehow he needed to hear another side of the story, maybe it was all Addison's fault and he was also blaming Mark; _maybe she even seduced him! _Derek Thought.

"Derek..."

"I need an explanation, because i can't understand anything. I just see things happening; and the reasons that Addison gave me weren't valid at all! Now you want to shut your mouth up? after knowing for almost all my life; I can tell you have a lot to share. You like talking. You like sharing your affair stories; you don't get to deny it now." Derek snapped. Mark didn't react at the first attempt but understood his brother's words... they were brothers and hiding what was already done was totally useless.

"Derek; it was all my fault. You were all the time working and sometimes i went to your place and have a chat with Addison, nothing more than friends. Sometimes we judged things about you over a glass of wine. We used to invite Savvy and Weiss sometimes to enjoy a good night, we always called you those nights, to know if you were going to accompany us, or if you were too busy. That night we were watching a football game with Weiss while the chicks were chatting. The phone was never answered by you; it was always a nurse, or it went to voice mail." Mark explained something that maybe would not mean so much to any other person, but Derek understood, Addison was alone and she missed the figure of a husband, that bad that with the time even Mark ended up being more a husband than her actual husband, it was like the same, except that he wasn't Derek and he wasn't wearing the ring... he wasn't the man who she fell in love with, he didn't write a cheesy song, but he was present when Derek wasn't.

"Your wife loves you. And she cried every night, i used to ask when you were coming home and she used to act like she was looking for something so she could hide from me and cry like a five year old child. The first night i found her crying in the stairs and i felt bad for her, the only words she said that night were _i am drunk and i want to keep it that way, leave me alone_; i hugged her and..." Mark was saying, Derek understood so he cutted him off.

"and then i found your jacket in the corridor and I left my wife and i came here..." Derek finished the story Mark was telling. Mark nodded. Derek understood, he felt sorry for blaming both, Mark and Addison, for everything when he also did wrong on not paying attention to his gorgeous wife. He left the office and walked to Addison's floor, looking for her, he found Doctor Rutherford instead; It was Addison's new gynecologist.

"Oh, Doctor Shepherd, what can i help you with?" Said the blonde woman standing in front of McDreamy. She smiled at him.

"I'm looking for my wife, have you seen her?" Derek asks anxiously, the woman reflects a little about her day.

"Well, yes. She just had an appointment with me to check on her, she mentioned something about meeting with an old friend." Rutherford responds and starts reading a chart that was in her hands. Rutherford was one of those hot doctors that wasn't married and was kinda slutty, but for some strange miracle, she didn't who the heck was McSteamy, apparently.

"Okay, thank you Doctor Rutherford." She giggled, yup, aha, yes, she was flirting. Derek nod and smiled, turning around to spot Nancy, his sister and Addison laughing in the corridor. _This has to be a joke. _Derek now didn't know if he should runaway or be thankful he finally found his wife... but she was with his most annoying sister. Addison sees Derek far away the corridor and rolls her eyes, making Nancy turn around to spot her brother. _Damn, she already knows i'm here. what the hell do you want from me Nancy? _Derek walked slowly towards the two Shepherd women, Addison crossing her arms.

"Hello brother." Nancy says in a bad mood, crossing her arms like Addison. Mad women were his biggest fear sometimes. "Seems like the mistress is gone." Addison laughs at that one.

"Yes, the mistress is gone, Nance. What are you doing in Seattle? I'm sure it doesn't happen to be your favorite place in the world." Derek asked his little sister, she rolled her eyes, so Addison did. Addison knew that Nancy could be one of the annoying kind of woman, but she was also a fun person and one of her best friends. Addison also loved to annoy Derek with the fact that he doesn't stan his family.

"Thought on coming to see you two. Just kidding! One of my patients had a problem while getting laid with the groom of her best friend's wedding here in Seattle," Nancy laughs, "So now you know..." _Even my annoying sister knew?!_

"You also told her?" Derek asks Addison, Addison rolls her eyes.

"I found out she was pregnant." Nancy explains the situation. _Great, who knows also? mom, amelia, kate, even Liz? No, maybe our old neighbors knew everything about it. _His sister found out before he even did, wow.

"Ah, you were the one who hid the secret from me first!" He laughed at that little joke. Addison sighed; she looked away.

"It was a pleasure to see you, Nancy. I'm so sorry but I have to go now, It's a beautiful day to save lives" She quotes her husband, kisses Nancy's cheek and then she leaves silent in her heels. Nancy turns herself to look at her brother in a pissed expression.

"You are letting her go, again. What's the matter with you Derek? She told you the truth and you are mad because she told you_ the truth_?" Nancy was kinda right and Derek knew that, he wanted to go and talk to his wife, but he was trapped in front of his sister, she wasn't going to let him go that easy. "Derek, don't screw it up this time."

"Nance, I know. Could you please stop getting into arguments that don't correspond you? Or that's a big sacrifice to commit?" Derek says sarcastically, turning around, getting into the OB/GYN department again. Nancy stood there, shocked at the disrespectful comment coming from her brother's mouth. Now he was processing what Doctor Rutherford informed him earlier. Addison had an appointment with her earlier. Rutherford was on the nurse station doing paperwork apparently.

"Excuse me, Kelly, right?" Derek asks the blonde woman. She looks up to him and takes her lecture glasses off. She scans the man up to down, Derek knew his charms could help him to have Addie's chart in his hand as soon as he could. The blonde woman giggled and moved her head a little.

"That's me indeed, what do you need, Doctor Shepherd?" She asks. Derek smiles and starts talking.

"You mentioned that you had an appointment with my wife earlier, didn't you?" Derek has those blue eyes that can melt every woman, except from his sisters, obviously.

"I did." the blonde says nodding her head slightly.

"Well, ca you tell me how it went? or, do you have her chart?" Derek asks, resting his two hands resting on the table of the nurse's station. Suddenly he feels someone hitting the back his neck.

"Um, maybe you could ask your wife personally?" Addison says, sassy. Rutherford giggles and puts her reading glasses on her eyes again and keeps doing what she was doing. Derek and Addison move a little from the nurse station so no one can hear, specially Kelly; Who apparently was a gossip seeker, but she was still kind. "I see it wasn't Meredith Grey, you must have a thing for blonde women." Addison snaps at him and acts sassy as fuck, she's not in the mood for more arguments.

"Addison..." Derek starts talking, but the redhead takes the control of the whole situation once again.

"I get that we are arguing but, flirting so you can get my health information? I did not marry Mark Sloan..." _Um, excuse me?_ Derek thinks.

"Addison..." Derek is starting to get tired. _Should i just keep trying to talk or shut up and wait until she's done talking? _Derek smiled even if her arguing was annoying, those judgemental looks she gave him; she was even more gorgeous when she wanted to kill him.

"I'm not going to tell you anyway, i'm pissed at you, you are pissed at me, better to ignore each other." Addison says now.

"Addison!"

"Ugh, Derek Stop addisoning me" Addison turns and leaves with her chart in her hands. Derek had to find somehow, h was anxious and he wanted to have a family with Addison, his dream weren't going to fade away just because they were in the middle of a war.

Derek leaves the OB/GYN department; he doesn't know what to do next, he had to think. He wanted Addison to apologize... but that wasn't going to happen, she already did like a hundred times and he wasn't listening at all. She deserved the apology now, right?

Maybe she did. Maybe that was why she was struggling so bad, she knew she deserved an apology.

Callie Torres is looking for traumas, when suddenly she sees Addison in a supplies closet, she stops herself and walks back some steps, she opens the door spotting that beautiful redhead sitting on the floor eating a granola bar. She just looks up to the hot latina; she wants her space and privacy.

"What are you doing?" Callie says closing the door behind her back, sitting next to her on the cold floor.

"Nothing..." the sassy redhead, the She - Shepherd we met once, Satan, well, now the devil was truly soft.

"I mean, what's going on with you? We haven't talked in some days and there's a gossip that you and McDreamy are about to sign divorce papers?" Callie asks Addison. As soon as she heard the hospital gossip, she almost chocked on her granola bar.

"What? No, what? I mean, we just had an argument." She was kind of altered.

"Ahh... good to hear because what I said it was a lie so I could make you talk to me." She laughed. Addison rolled her eyes but laughed anyways, taking another bite of her granola bar.

"I just... I told him something I was hiding from him; and then he started yelling and getting so upset..." Addison tells her friend. She nods, understanding.

"I really hope things between you two will work out, I mean, you two are hot doctors and together are the perfect hottest pair. Everyone wants to be you. He looks at you like you are the only happiness he sees in life... and you can't take Your eyes off of him! And you know it. I mean, everyone sees that." Callie tells Addison. Both laughed.

"Thank you Callie, I needed some encouragement to be honest. Are you joining us tomorrow?" Addison asks; drinks with her wild Latina friend could be fun.

"Well... I can't. I have a date actually!" Callie says. Addison smiles and takes another bite of her snack, she's enjoying herself even if she's on the floor of a hospital surrounded by the smell of plastic gloves.

"Glad to hear that. If you change your plans, which I doubt, we will receive you happily." Addison said in a cute way. She was a softie!

"Aw Addison, you are so kind." Callie was surprised; Everyone viewed Addison as the cold bitch that was going to take you down if she had to, she was going to slap your face if you ever stole any of her surgeries... that was the impression the woman had in many interns and even superior doctors.

"I'm fertile and happy." Addison says finally. She's happy to announce she is fertile. Happy. What about being happy? She was happy but, without Derek she felt miserable, you know when women say _"We don't need a man to complete our lives"_ kind of inspirational speech? Well, for Addison that was totally correct, but it was different with her, she didn't depend on a man, she loved a man, that was different.

She wanted to believe she was going to end up divorced with three cats and, she was going to be the typical "Scrooge" feminist bitch. Or that was her biggest fear of ending up like...

"You are?!" Callie replied in content. She nodded and smiled. The black haired woman hugged her.

"I am..." Addison muttered.


	6. Chapter 6

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 6_**

* * *

Sorry if chapter 5 was boring.

* * *

"I mean, I think it's not your style." Callie judges Mark's new tie, Addison laughs at the weird faces he does in the mirror.

"Does he even have a style?" Addison asks, crossing her arms while standing next to Callie.

"Naked style maybe?" Callie jokes.

"I can't believe we slept with the same jerk!" Addison says, both laugh and Mark turns around.

"Ha, Ha... very funny. You two know you had an amazing and unique pleasure with _this_" Mark presumes. The two ladies roll their eyes. Someone knocks at the door and enters... hot appearance, black hair... her husband.

"Ah, it was you." Addison says, in a cold tone, leaving the office and going to check on patients or just to keep her mind occupied so she doesn't have to think about Derek; even if she would like to think about him. She has been surviving long days without any sex from her husband or even soft kisses as a _good morning. _She was tired of the arguing but she had to keep herself sassy and mostly in a 'satan mood'.

"Addison..." he almost whispers. She does hear it, but decides to ignore his warm voice saying her name, she just walks away.

"I assume you will join us tonight for drinks? You have to make her know that you love her and that whatever that happened you two are meant to be." Callie tells Derek, she knew the happy and funny Addison, but now that part of her was hiding and trying to fade away, in less Derek could expect it, maybe she was going to end up everything for just telling him the truth.

"You should go. And yeah... all that she said, is also true." Mark supports Torres in this one. Callie laughs at the jerky way Mark agrees.

"I don't know, Maybe it's better if i don't go, se doesn't want to see me, after all." Derek says, Callie looks at him in a way that Mark even thinks she could slap him right there, right now.

"You will go." Callie says "You will not be the jerk now, that's Mark's job" Callie tells the two men and leaves the office.

Addison checks some charts and realizes she doesn't have anything important today, no surgeries. She was one of the best neonatal surgeons; Where are are those good surgeries? Looking into Doctor Rutherford's archives she finds some interesting ones and dies to scrub in... maybe stealing them would be bad, so, she was going to ask. Nancy was still in town, so seeing her walking on Addison's direction wasn't that weird after all.

"Good morning!" Nancy says cheerful, she dislikes Seattle to be honest, but likes the ambient of the hospital. New york was her place after all, Derek felt blessed knowing that Nancy was never going to settle in town after all, but her visits were stressful and annoying, a bomb of frustration.

"Good morning!" Addison replies. Nancy moves herself to check on what is Addison reading.

"Geez, that looks amazing. Is it yours? Because if it is, I will scrub in." Nancy jokes and keeps reading.

"no, not mine. Doctor Rutherford's." Addison replied kind of disappointed she didn't got that surgery

"Rutherford? Sounds familiar to me." Nancy says, taking the chart in her hands. "Kelly Rutherford... yes, i know her"

"From where? She's my GYN/OB" Addison says; Nancy smirks.

"Med school actually. She's british but she hides the accent very well. You have a great GYN/OB, but sadly she's a slut, I could say she's Mark's soulmate somehow." Nancy laughs. Addison laughs with Nancy. "But she would never sleep with him, it would be like sleeping with your brother."

"You two were friends or...?"

"Actually we were enemies and we ended up being best friends because I found her naked with our teacher so I started blackmailing her... We haven't talked in years." Nancy smirks at the memories of her youth.

"I never heard of her until some little time ago." Addison says.

"Well, if she's not around right now, she must be in some on-call room getting naked." Addison rolled her eyes and then laughed. "Hey, I can't go tonight to get drunk with you, but I really hope the other Shepherd will be there." Nancy smiles at Addison and walks away. _I hope so.._ Addison thinks to herself.

Derek is coming out of a successful brain surgery and can't believe that somehow he felt so not attracted to operating, _what the hell?_

Derek did hate Addison for hiding him such an important thing, but he couldn't change her, at least she was trying to change and he had to give credits to her for that. But he was stubborn, and he liked to win sometimes, which he wasn't realizing was that he wasn't going to win after all, he was going to lose her. Tonight he was going to go there and flirt at her, then he would apologize and he was going to make it right, he couldn't be an asshole again, no more running away. Addison was a very special someone in his life, he wanted to believe this time everything was going to be fine, and it was. it is. it has to be.

He knew Addison, she showed herself cold, bitchy, mean and arrogant; but she was warm, happy, cheerful, loving, beautiful. She also had a personality that made derek forget about all his struggles, when her eyes were looking into his, he couldn't imagine a better world or life than being with her. It was her. It always have been her. No one was better than her. Addison was the one and only and he knew so, she knew so, both knew it. Even Mark knew it, Even Addison's brother knew it.

Derek wanted to stop this whole thing, he was thinking that his wife might be hurt by all the stupid trash he said about her and the treatments that he received from her, he knew he had to leave the past behind and get used to changes. Addison was growing as a person. She was finding joy not only in her job and marriage, also in herself, which was much more important.

* * *

Mark enters Joe's first, behind him Addison walks in, both kind of excited for getting drunk, it has been a long day. Richard, Miranda, Preston Burke and other colleagues are there too, Addison smiles at them, after all, all of this was for her, having drinks was a celebration for her, because she came back after all, right? Richard handed Addison a beer and everyone took a sit, everyone laughed and told funny stories. Addison was next to his favorite man whore, Mark, the only person she really did wanted to see there wasn't there, she wanted Derek there, maybe he wasn't coming and she was going to end up cheating again, once again, Mark was there instead of him.

The story was repeating once again. Miranda, sitting next to Addison also, she takes Addison's drink away, making her react and looks at her, questioning why she takes her tequila away. "Miranda why.."

"I will not let you sleep with Sloan tonight." Miranda says. Well, that wasn't Addie's plan at all, but Miranda was right, she was going to end up drunk on Mark's arms somehow and both didn't want that. Everyone prepares for a toast for Addison. Everyone smiles, but Addison lightly smirks, not really happy after all, she wanted Derek right there, resting his hand on her hip, pulling her closer.

"Proud of you, Red." Mark says kindly. "Who's the blonde?" Back to normality..

"You're not going to sleep with that one." Addison laughs.

Everyone smiles, everyone laughs at something Preston said, Addison didn't really heard. Derek is all over her mind, his laugh, but also, all the hurtful things he said. She sees Derek coming out of the dark part of the bar, he's holding a red rose in his hand and looks at Addison, he's also smirking, she didn't see him entering the bar. Addison doesn't know if approaching to him was going to help on talking to him, she couldn't help but smile at him, he giggled at the distance.

_Addison, no. Don't fall for him this easy! He's trying to enchant you with his charms... yes, it is working. He's an asshole, wait for him to apologize, a red flower isn't going to fix your marriage, right? _Addison reflects. She doesn't want to be that easy, she plays the difficult card. She looks at Mark and laughs at something jerky he says. Derek knows what she's doing. Derek sits on the bar, leaving the rose right next to the beer Joe gives him, next to Derek there is Cristina Yang, next to her, Meredith Grey is there. Addison gives a little look and she tries to ignore, because she sees that Derek also looks at there quickly.

"Hey you should go and talk to Shepherd." Richard tells Addison, even the chief knew? She smiles and tries to act as natural and happy she can, when she's actually so uncomfortable and unhappy, knowing the love of her life is right there. Derek starts talking to the two interns.

"Sorry if I use you girls as material to make my wife jealous..." Derek tells the two interns, Cristina gives him her best 'whatever' face and Meredith giggles at how stupid that sounded. Meredith had still a little crush on him, but she was starting to accept that it didn't work out, after all every doctor, intern, or female was in love with him in a way, even men found him charming, straight men.

"If you are trying this to get laid, I respect you." Cristina says. For some reason they were actually being kind at Derek after he broke Meredith's heart like four times. Derek laughed at that stupid sentence Yang said, even Grey laughed.

Addison can't do it anymore, he was laughing, having fun, Addison's fake smile faded away, she was determined to go right there and talk to her husband.

"What the hell are you doing?" Addison says pissed, now in front of Derek, Derek smiles at her. "Flirting with Yang, seriously?"

"Um, i'm offended?" Cristina looks at the redhead.

"Sorry Yang." She doesn't stop looking at her husband, he passes one of his hands through his hair, even hotter.

"He wasn't flirting anyways" Yang says.

"Can we talk?" Addison says mad. Derek nods and giggles, wow, his pla worked. Both exit the bar, Richard and Miranda laugh, knowing that all their problems were going to end, Addek was going to be back. Mark wasn't paying attention, checking at Doctor Rutherford's figure, that woman was steamy.

"You are Mark Sloan i can guess?" Rutherford says.

"I am. And you are?" Mark asks with that hot and charming smile, full of charisma.

"Kelly, Kelly Rutherford." Kelly introduces herself to the man whore. We all thought that two slutty people could fall for each other and we were so wrong... Kelly's type isn't Mark, at all.

"What's up, Addie?" Derek says to the angry redhead, aka his wife.

"'What's up Addie?' that's all you are going to say?" Addison rolls her eyes and crosses her arms in front of her chest. Derek can't help but laugh.

"You are so jealous, it's cute." Derek smiles.

"I'm not cute! and i'm not jealous, i'm being serious." Addison says. "I've been punishing myself for days, thinking that you would hate me forever because of telling you the truth!"

"Addison, calm down." Derek says.

"Why you didn't just hugged me and told me that it was okay, why couldn't you?" Addison yells at him, she's angry and hurt. "I haven't slept, no even a little!"

"And you think i have slept? Our bed has your smell, the bathroom has the smell of your perfume, i had to try to fall asleep in the floor, because even the couch has your fragance and it was hurting me!" Derek replies. Addison feels softer.

"That's... that doesn't change what you said." Addison says. There's a silence. Addison looks into his eyes, with a sad face, not sad, devasted. Another fight.

"i'm sorry." Derek tells her, posing his hand on her hip, she shakes a little and tries to ignore his hand... but then his other hand is in her other hip...

"Sorry for what? For getting mad because I told you something important and hard for me, or because you were talking to another woman that wasn't me?" Addison replies, filled by angriness. Derek manages to smile again.

"For everything, Ads." Addison couldn't be mad at him, also, his voice saying her loving nickname, she missed that. The attraction was real. "I behaved horribly with you."

"Derek..." She got soft. "I'm sorry too. I hide it from you for a long time and you deserved to know. I don't deserve you." Addison says, now her arms aren't crossed anymore, her hand is now resting on Derek's cheek.

"I love you." Derek says simply.

"Me too." Addison smiles. She meant that _me too_, she meant every word told to him, everything.

"I gotta admit that when i saw you with Mark i got pretty jealous." Derek jokes. Addison moves her other hand to the back of his neck.

"That was the plan." Addison laughed, she winked at him and then, pulling him closer slowly, their lips were too close to each other.

But suddenly both hear Preston Burke yelling at them through the window of the bar; " Kiss her!"

"Shut up, pervert!" Derek yells at Burke, he laughs and kisses his wife finally, Addison laughs a little while still kissing her amazing husband. She missed him and she needed his kisses, badly. They look at each other eyes after breaking the kiss, they walk away together, they wanna go home and lie on each other, maybe watching some old and classic movie.

"I mean, I hope you didn't sleep with your husband's best friend..." Mark joked, he took another sip of his beer, when Rutherford was more into shots.

"Four times, and then i slept with his brother, that's how i understood it was him and it wasn't the genes." Kelly laughed, Mark laughed too, she found a jerk just like her.

"You know what's weird? I don't see you as a sexual toy." Mark is being honest, the flirting was totally gone.

"Same, I mean, you seem a very hot and as your nickname says, Steamy, but somehow not my type." The blonde laughed.

* * *

"You are a good man. I sometimes forget that you are a human being just as much as i am, sorry if i treat you so bad when we argue. I love you and I hate doing that to you." Addison says, looking into his husband's eyes. Addison was resting her head on his husband's chest, he was watching the movie she liked, they were holding hands, Derek caressed a little part of her leg, but it wasn't like he was horny and he wanted, it was just a caress. Addison loved his caresses, the feel of his touch, his warm hands protecting her, it made her feel tiny but happy when she was embraced by his strong arms, everything was fine. There was a long silence, Derek kissed her shiny red hair and looked at their hands interlocking. Both in comfortable pajamas.

"I love you, Addison. No one will ever change that, not even you. We commit mistakes and then we learn." He said softly and sweetly. Addison smirked and kept cuddling with her husband, Grease was her favorite movie and Marty Maraschino was her favorite. "Don't be like Sandy". Derek almost mumbles.

"What did you say?" Addison looks up to him, calm. She blinks twice.

"You never be a Sandy, don't ever change yourself for any other individual that isn't you. Don't change." Derek pecks her lips.

She keeps looking at his ocean eyes."Never." Addison agrees, seeing how cute and amazing her husband was, she loved him, she moved herself a little, now hugging him, she closed her eyes even if her favorite movie was still playing. Derek turned the tv off and Kissed Addison's forehead goodnight.

"I love you." Derek tells Addison, she smiles and hugs Derek even more tightly, he hugs back and embraces her.

"I love you... too." Sleepy Addie says. Derek kisses her forehead again and then both fall asleep. Derek was content. His skin in constant touch with her, he was safe with her, somehow he could not live without her, it wasn't a dependence, it was love.

It's another day in Seattle, sunny, shiny, beautiful. Callie enters an on-call room, spotting her friend, Addison and the best brain surgeon, Derek, in bed together.

* * *

"Callie!" Addison yells, being caught. Addison is on top of Derek, both embarrassed. She even got scared, she tries her best on covering her breasts and also covering her husband between the sheets.

"Oh God." Callie says, Derek tries covering Addison too, quickly, both are kind of amused. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to interrump sex, at all." The Latina closes the door quickly and leaves.

Addison and Derek look at each other and start laughing. It wasn't the best time for sex apparently, and it wasn't the right place. Derek kisses Addison one more time. "We are like horny teenagers." Addison laughs at Derek's comment and starts reaching for her bra.

"We are much more worse." Addison says smirking, she found her underwear. Derek also dresses up as soon as possible, both now on their feet, both dressed up. Addison looks at him smiling and she starts laughing at the weird and awkward moment they just had.

"You look stunning." Derek smiles at her and caresses her hair. His touch goes softly from her hair to her shoulder...

"Derek stop it!" She rolls her eyes and laughs, now reaching for her purse, He seems kinda annoyed that they had to end what they were in the middle of.

"Callie owes me one." The black haired man says, fixing his hair a little and checking the hour on his watch; he fixes his tie also.

"She does." Addison says, checking her hair on the mirror, adding lipstick to her soft and smooth lips. "Who gets out first?" Yes, they could not get out both at the same time... which is most funnier, they weren't even wearing scrubs or anything, as soon as they went into the hospital both Shepherds felt a necessity.

"I guess ladies always go first!" Derek jokes. Addison kisses his cheek and leaves the room, trying not to catch the attention. She walks into the lockers room and changes into her usual 'doctor outfit'. After some minutes Derek appears and does the same.

"Busy day today?" Preston Burke asks getting inside of the room.

"Ready for some births" Addison replies joining her hair into a pony tail, Derek nods.

"It's a beautiful day to save lives." Derek quotes his daily mantra, Addison smiles at him, Preston nods and Mark laughs. Yes, Mark was also in there.

"You know that you are supposed to say that in the ER" Mark tells Derek, just to bother him, knowing what he really meant.

"Jerk" Addison and Derek say at the same time getting out of the room. Preston laughs at the couple and keeps changing into scrubs.

Doctor Rutherford enters the room and takes off her blouse. "Good morning, Kelly." Mark says looking at the blonde's woman back. He smirks playfully.

"Rutherford, when I'm at work, I am doctor Rutherford, doctor Sloan." The blonde woman says, not even turning around to tell him that in the face. She changes into scrubs. Preston tries not to laugh in Mark's face and he leaves the room.

Preston leaves the room and spots Addison and Derek holding hands in the corridor, talking about something important.

"You two should get a room." Preston joked and kept walking away from the happy couple.

"Torres ruined it." Derek whispers, both laugh at that fact. Addison pecks Derek's lips "have a good day." Derek says sweetly to the woman he loved, he looked at her in the eye.

"You too. Have a great day." Addison says smiling and then walks away, wearing her typical pink scrubs.

Derek enters his little office, the typical room where he checks charts, where his paperwork is at, and where he sees all those amazing and huge tumors. There'a a new case that... is kind of difficult. Derek studies the case... he thinks, thinks again, thinks, and can't stop thinking about that tumor.

That giant, beautiful, bestial tumor. What a tumor. The sound of someone knocking on the door doesn't make him feel so great. "Come on in."

"Good morning, brother!" Nancy enters the room cheerfully. Derek manages to roll his eyes and he receives the coffee that Nancy is holding on her hand.

"Nancy..." He says, not so happy about her annoying visit.

"Yes, that's my name. So, what happened to the intern?" Nancy is looking for some good gossip, the door is still opened, a group of interns are arguing over something.

"Meredith left her phone here. I'll text her." George says, Izzie Stevens laughs.

"Are you sure about that?" Yang asks George with her airs of sarcasm. Nancy and Derek laugh at how stupid some human beings could be, Derek closed the door and kept looking at his tumor.

"That's huge." Nancy comments. Even a neonatal surgeon can tell.

"I'm operating on that." Derek comments. Nancy crosses her arms and keeps looking at the tumor.

"How are you supposed to do that? I mean.. there's too much damage." Nancy says. Yes, it was a very damaged area and big tumor, the tumor was growing fast, finding good spots of the brain to ruin.

"I will figure out." Derek says sassy. Nancy rolls her eyes.

"Come on Derek, talk to me. I never hear anything from you." Nancy says. Derek looks at his sister with disrespect.

"Nancy, I never asked you to come here, I don't want you here actually. I don't see why talking to you." The man says and leaves his own office. Nancy steps out too and follows Derek, both walking on the corridor.

"What the hell do you want from me, Derek?! You deleted our numbers, you don't call to check on us, you don't go to visit... you left." Nancy says.

"Nancy, grow up a little." He snaps. She looks at him, filled by so much hate. They were family. Since their father died everything was so different. Amelia was the weak sister, Nancy the empowering one and annoying... Liz was okay, but still annoying. And Kathleen was pretty much quiet, it wasn't like it used to be when they were young.

"Screw you." Nancy said walking away. Derek doesn't feel bad until some minutes later. Yes, they were family, but what did Nancy want after all? Family time? That wasn't so Nancy. That was the opposite.

Derek walks into the gallery, Addison is down there operating on a mother, apparently something from the ER, some "surprise" surgery, how sometimes they called it. Addison seems so bossy down there, he smiles and sits down, thinking that maybe the view of his wife operating can help him to feel better.

Yes, that redhead down there, operating and saving two lives helped him to feel better. He smiled. He felt good. He was the only one in that gallery. It was good to be alone and to have such an amazing view.

His wife took that baby out of that woman and she saved it. She closed her and cleaned her scar. He smiled and then giggled at Addison's stressed but happy face. She saved another life. And she was happy and proud about it. Suddenly the redhead looks up to the gallery and spots Derek in there, just, watching.

She smiled and then went back to work on that baby. Derek got paged and had to leave the gallery, he wasn't up to any surgeries. He was so stressed thinking on the one he had pendant.

He goes to the ER and doesn't really know how to respond when he sees a pregnant woman. _Amazing, the paged the wrong doctor Shepherd. _Derek thinks to himself. Karev is right over there. "They paged me wrong, Addison is about to get out of surgery, but I'm sure there's other doctor that can help" Derek was about to finish talking and he heard the sound of Nancy's heels running down the corridor, looking for surgeries to stole and births to be part of.

"What do we have here?" Nancy says approaching the woman. They give her all the information and they find a clear ER so they can take that baby out of her and save mom and son.

Lunch times comes by, Derek hears Addison and Nancy talk to each other, I mean, he does? He really doesn't, he just feels something in the back of his ear, like a voice over or something... he's into that tumor. That tumor is his everything right now. He needs to save that human being but doesn't want to screw his brain.

Even professional doctors could commit mistakes. That scared him, lots. "Derek? Derek!" Addison says to him. He wakes up from his thoughts and looks at his stunning wife sitting in there.

"I'm sorry, what?" Derek says. Addison laughs at how goofy and distracted her husband is.

"I was saying that today I'm leaving at six instead of seven, so if I can go home in your car or I take a cab, what do you think?" Addison asks her husband. He processes the information.

"Leave with the car if you want, I'll take a cab back home." Derek tells his wife. She smirks at him and then kept eating.

"But Addie, if you want to I can drive you home." Nancy says. Derek looks at his sister all pissed off. It was obvious that she was saying this to annoy Derek. Even Addison knew it.

"No, it's totally fine. I like being a solitary wolf sometimes. So, I prefer to go home alone." Said Addison saving Derek from that uncomfortable position. Derek nodded with a smile. Nancy nodded to her, knowing that those two had literal thelephaty.

"Okay." Nancy replies.

"Hey, our anniversary is soon!" Derek comments. Suddenly Addison gets paged. She rolls her eyes.

"Let's talk about it tonight. I gotta go now." Says Addison standing up from the table and leaving as soon as she can. Nancy can't even look at her brother.

"I'm happy for you two." Nancy says by the nowhere. Derek smirks a little.

"For me and Addison?" Derek looks at her sister. She nods.

"You two were the perfect couple. And you loved Addison more than anything. Well, you love Addison more than anything. Good job, brother. Don't let her go this time." Nancy says to him. She stands up and leaves him there. Derek smirked. _My sister was here to just check on my marriage._ He told himself. It was true.

Derek sometimes thought what if Addison never came back? Would he still feel something for her? Would she love him still? Or it was all just going vanish and become a funny story to tell at brunches and dinner parties.

Addison was taking off her scrubs to change into her clothes after saving another mother and her child. She was ready to go home. No longer available for anything else than getting home and getting naked to wait for her husband. Walking out from changing into her clothes, she spots Richard Webber talking to two interns.

The interns go and Webber looks at Addison with a smirk. "Hello Addison." Richard greets her, Addison smiles at him. After all the man was like an uncle for Derek and Addison, she met him much more as a mentor than just _Doctor Webber_.

"Hey" She says happy she's going home. She's happy and proud and trusts that her marriage will work out and her husband was going to be home in a few hours after her.

"You seem happy." He says. Addison smiles at him.

"I am! Well... I have to go home, good night Richard." The cute redhead says. Webber nods at her and she walks away.

* * *

"It is benign, huge, fast and it will not stop." Derek gets out of the elevator repeating those words to himself. Trying to figure out how to take that tumor away. It was just... too hard. Too difficult. Too clever!

He opens the door of his and Addison's apartment and takes his coat off. He shuts the door behind his back. "Derek?" Addison yells from the master bedroom.

"I am home!" Derek yells back, taking his shoes off. His mind is back on that man's brain when he enters his room. He shuts the door behind him, Addison is covered by the sheets, she's naked. Derek doesn't even bother on looking at her, laying in there, he's into that tumor. He looks at the floor and rests his head against the wall. _How the hell am I supposed to save that man's life... if i don't have idea how to do it..._

"Derek, What's wrong?" Addison asks, looking at her husband in concern, For a moment she's afraid of what the answer might be, but then she's fearless somehow.

/ Hi! hope you enjoyed this chapter. I would like to know what do you guys think if I write another way of how CALZONA could work out? I mean, if you guys want me to also add CALZONA to all of this... and if you guys wanna know more about Doctor Rutherford, please let me know! Well, some people asked me why i deleted the rufly fanfic called "I love you for infinity"; I'm so sorry I did, It's available on Wattpad tho... I decided to delete it because after all i'm probably not finishing it... so... im sorry. If you want me to upload it again i might do it! Anyways, thank you for the reviews, and for following the fanfic and mostly for reading... sorry that i took too much time writing this chapter tho.


	7. Chapter 7

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 7_**

I took a lot to finish this chapter, SORRY! But be happy because I added some sex scenes - ya I'm so dirty. Okay, enjoy.

* * *

"I don't have idea what to do! Everything is so blurry and I don't have idea how... But if I... No i can't do that either, it would be too much damage." Derek talks to himself. Addison looks worried at him, he's still looking at the floor. He rests his face on his hands for a minute.

"Derek!" Addison yells at him. She wants attention but she's also starting to worry for him. Derek looks at the stunning woman trying not to fall from the bed. He keeps himself quiet, Addison rolls her eyes, he was clearly not listening before, and he was still into h¡s thoughts. "What happened?"

"A tumor." Derek says simply sitting on the feed of the bed. Addison laughs and at the same time she rolls her eyes; She's being ignored by her husband again, and she's still naked there, waiting for him to react.

"I see... difficult one?" Addison says, reaching for a pillow to rest her head and feel much more comfortable. Addison was willing to accept listening to his struggles.

"Savage and Wild, Addison. One of the most gigant tumors I have ever seen." Derek replies.

"There's always a way to fix it, you will find it eventually. You are Derek Christopher Shepherd." She smiles at him. He nods, still kinda sad and stressed he doesn't find a way. He looks back to the floor. "Oh come on, I'm naked in front of you." Addison says, kinda annoyed. "I'm horny and a tumor is stopping you from just... do me? My left arm is starting to fall asleep from holding my head in this position."

"Did you just said _do me_?" Derek laughs. Addison notices that she just said something stupid. Derek smirks and he's back into his head. "You are right! I don't have to enter from the back, I can enter from the left... So i can remove it easily and if anything goes wrong I would be just damaging a little!" Derek looks at Addison again. She has her annoyed face, she sighs. He smiles at that pouty face. "I will do you." He says almost whispering, Derek has all Addison's attention now.

"You will?!" Addison asks excited. Derek nods with a smile on his face. He starts unbuttoning his shirt and he moves himself on top of Addison, she smiles and laughs, she kisses him as his shirt is off.

"I... love... you" Derek says between kisses. She smiles and then giggles, when she feels his fingers going down and up trough her back.

"So do I." Addison says, looking into his beautiful eyes, she's still wrapped in the sheets and desires her husband more than anything. Derek smirks and kisses her softly, she kisses him back. Suddenly he's naked, getting wrapped on the sheets too, but with her. She wraps both of her legs around Derek. Addison giggles as she feels Derek caressing her long and perfect legs. He starts kissing her neck and bits her shoulder playfully, making her laugh. Everything goes slow and somehow romantic, there's little chats in between... _You are so perfect - I can't get my eyes off of you... _kind of thing.

Yeah... cheesy dudes.

* * *

Derek wakes up with one of Addison'a favorite songs.. "_I don't feel like dancin_". Derek realizes his wife isn't next to him on bed. He looks straight and spots the door of the bathroom opened. That beautiful redhead brushing her teeth and dancing in a towel. - classic Addison Addriane Forbes Montgomery Shepherd. Derek laughs and gets out of bed to dance with her, she kept brushing her teeth. Suddenly she feels two warm and big arms wrapping her from her back. She grins.

"Good morning." She looks at both on the mirror and can't stop looking into his eyes. He kisses her temple and caresses her arms. She keeps brushing her teeth, after that she rolls herself to face her husband. He's there, standing. Handsome as always. She smiles.

"You slept good?" Addison asks, she wraps Derek with her two arms and looks into his eyes. Derek nods and kisses her nose. She giggles a little and kisses his lips, softly. Addison breaks the kiss and starts dancing pulling Derek closer to her, so she could kiss him deeply while dancing.

Derek laughs between her kisses. "Addison what are you doing?" Derek asks with a smile. Addison smiles after breaking the kiss again. She doesn't say anything and she gets back into their room, she dances at her song.

"I'm dancing!" She laughs and dances around. Derek looks at her and smiles. "Wanna join me?" She jokes. He walks over her and holds her hands. Now they are both dancing and Addison can't take her eyes off of his eyes... those blue ocean eyes that were breathtaking. She always felt like the world was stopping for a minute when she was into those eyes.

The song changes to the song "_everybody's changing" _... a song Derek loved a lot. They kept dancing; Addison was resting her head on Derek's chest and they were embracing, moving slightly. Derek kissed her forehead and closed his eyes.

"Hey... we haven't discussed what we are doing for our anniversary! 12 years have to be good celebrated." Addison says with a playful wink at the end. Derek thinks for a minute _I don't have idea._

"What do you wanna do?" Derek smiles. She looks straight into his eyes and sits on the feet of the bed. She rests herself on her elbows.

"Maybe we can travel somewhere." She smirks in that badass and sexy way that Derek loves. She knows it drives him crazy. He knows she knows.

"A peaceful beach, maybe?" Derek suggests, laying next to Addison. She looks at Derek and she can't stop looking into his eyes. It is a curse.

"I've always wanted to visit Mexico." Addison says. Derek nods and he jumps on top of his wife, she's surprised and starts laughing. He tickles her and she keeps laughing with that cute and sweet and... just... perfect laugh.

"Hey, But what about that place you suggested! With the big fireplace... that bed..." Derek said. He reminded himself that Addison loved that place and she was talking about it the other day.

"Oh yes! That fireplace was gorgeous. But, it's our anniversary, plus it would be fun to hear you trying to talk Spanish." Addison teased him. Derek rolled his eyes playfully.

"We'll go to Mexico then! I like the food so, I totally agree. And I allow you to laugh at my Spanish." He pecks her lips. She laughs and kisses him again. "Addison, stop making me wanna stay home, we will be late!" He joked and rolled his eyes playfully.

"I'm sorry Doctor Shepherd, it wasn't my intention. Or should I say... amigo?" She acts like a petty girl and he loves that. He married a comedian! "I'll make it up to you."

"Ugh; now I really don't wanna go to work." Derek kisses Addison one more time, he gets off of Addison after breaking the kiss and goes to the bathroom to have a shower.

* * *

"You two are so late!" Preston Burke informs both of the Shepherd's. Addison rolls her eyes so does Derek. Burke keeps walking down the hall and doesn't look back. The red haired woman and her husband walked into a patient's room, both were getting presentable while walking across the hall.

"We know." Derek mutters to himself. Addison glances at Meredith Grey across the room. _What is she doing here?_

"Doctor Shepherd, I'm in your services today." Grey says. Derek keeps reading the chart. Addison doesn't react. She looks a little at the chart while Derek still checks some details.

"Male... Doctor Shepherd." Grey adds. Addison and Derek look at the blonde woman at the same time. _Excuse me? Okay this time I am totally going to murder Doctor Miranda Bailey. _Addison thought, biting her lip, she gave Meredith a death look; she didn't like her husband around that young intern.

"Excuse me?" Addison said reacting for both. Derek did that thing with his fingers, pressing the space between his two eyes and nose, he closed his eyes. Addison took the chart from Derek's hand and kept looking at Meredith, she wasn't confused, she was actually processing. Still "_loading_".

"I'm on Doctor Shepherd's services today, Doctor Montgomery Shepherd." Grey says. Addison takes a deep breath and starts reading the chart.

"Who do I have?" Addison asks, with that arrogant voice, the one to annoy the intern. She doesn't even look at Meredith, she kept looking at the chart. Derek glances at Meredith with a serious face.

"I'm so sorry, I.. I don't know." Grey says. Addison rolls her eyes and sighs.

"I'll have to go and find it myself then" Addison says and leaves the room. For a moment she feels stupid because of leaving the ex-mistress with her husband inside of there, but she reminds herself that Derek and her love each other. Which obligates herself to trust him.

A blonde woman walks down the hall, she and Addison ran into each other almost 'crashing'.

"God, I'm sorry - I, I didn't mean to..." She started saying.

"It's okay, don't worry." Addison smiled at her, she was being way too nice... she deserved some credits on that! She was well known as a bitch.

"You must be Addison! World class neonatal surgeon." The blonde woman says nodding, adding a little laugh.

"Yeah.. how did you know that?" Addison glances at the cheerful woman wondering who the hell she was.

"I'm working with Doctor Rutherford on some patients and she mentioned you; she also mentioned the red hair... not everyone has red hair." She explains. Addison nods and gives the blondie a small smirk.

"Oh I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself properly... I'm Arizona Robbins, peds." She explained. Addison stretched her hand so they could greet much more _professionally_.

"Ah! Peds! Good to know. Now I know who to call in case I see some good surgeries." Addison laughs. Arizona laughs with her. "Well, i gotta go find- I gotta go. It was very nice meeting you."

"You too!" Arizona says. Addison nods and walks away from her.

* * *

Derek is already stressed having the blonde woman around. He's a man. He also knows what sexy means. He can look but not desire. Right? Or... that was what he always thought. Well, not always. He started thinking about that or even considered the idea in the moment Addison walked towards him and Meredith months ago.

He didn't want an affair with the Grey intern again, but he couldn't deny she was quite a good looking woman, sometimes he hated his dirty mind, badly.

"Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd will be right back soon, shes looking for her intern." Derek tells the patient. They had to work together on a patient, since the woman got pregnant while having a very big brain tumor that was growing up fast. For a moment he felt stupid like calling his wife that way.. _Why not only Shepherd!?_

"Oh okay." The woman says a little nervous. Meredith doesn't know if she should say something or...? "So... do you have an idea of what to do?" The woman asks kind of scared still.

"Yeah, Doctor Sh... My Wife and I have been discussing about it and, since your baby is almost eight months; she can save him and I can take that brain tumor out of your brain." McDreamy states and smiles at the woman. She smiles nervously and looks away.

"Sorry I'm late, Shannon." Says Addison getting inside of the room with Alex Karev behind her back. The intern has a big bruise on his cheek. Shannon glances at Addison and smiles knowing she's back.

"What happened to him?" The woman asks with that nervous voice again. Addison rolls her eyes and takes her red glasses off, Derek looks at the Intern too.

"Nothing special." Alex says. Derek tries not to laugh. Meredith laughed and didnt cared if she received another death look from Addison. _She laughs like a five year old kid. _Addison thought.

"So?" Addison asks Derek, assuming he already talked about the whole procedure.

"I was just telling Shannon about the procedure we were discussing and the most appropriate." Derek says, smiling at his redhead wife and also to the brown haired woman on that bed, almost shaking in fear.

"Exelent. So... do you have any doubts? Questions? Anything we should know before the operations?" Addison asks.

"So, my baby will be premature after all?" Shannon asks. Addison nods and gives her a closed lip smile.

"Yes, he will be premature. But I'm sure I'll get to take him out in perfect state. You don't have to worry about nothing." Addison smiles at the woman. She smiles back, she seems much more calm. "Anything else you would like to know?" The woman says no with her head.

Derek and Addison nod at the same time and they exit the room with the two young interns behind their backs.

"That was easy!" Addison comments. Derek nodded and Meredith rolled her eyes. "Ugh... what's that smell?" Fresh paint.

"They are painting room 13 and 12." Alex Karev says with that arrogant mood. Addison puts a hand over her mouth. Alex looks confused at Meredith and they both look confused to each other. Derek checks the hour and for a moment he doesn't care.

"I... I gotta go find Bailey." Addison says turning around and leaving to the side they were coming from. Derek glances at her until she's totally gone, _should I follow her?_

"What's wrong with her?" Karev asks.

"She's sensible to the smell of fresh paint." Derek explains and gives the interns a little smile. Meredith nods slightly, she didn't really care, but it was fun to know one of Addison Montgomery's weaknesses.

"And I'm supposed to go behind her... or?" Karev asks again. Derek nods softly and the intern rolls his eyes, Alex leaves them and Meredith walks now by Derek's side.

"I never met anyone sensible to the smell of fresh paint." The intern shares. "Its... interesting." She laughs a little. Derek tries not to laugh with her or make her fall even harder for him.

"Yeah, well, sometimes people surprise you." Derek says in return. She looks at the man while walking, Derek looks at her and then goes back on looking at the front. Meredith was still in love with him. He tried to not look at her, knowing that after all, he somehow got a crush on her months ago.

"Yeah." She nods and she stops looking at the man next to her.

* * *

Callie gets out of an on-call room, she's having an argument with her husband, George. Most of the people didn't really approve or liked the couple, but gossiping was the best part.

Arizona joins Addison and Doctor Rutherford on the nurses station in there, both women reading charts, Addison massaging her temple.

"Who's that?" Arizona asks glancing at Callie and George who were still talking to each other in the hallway.

"Callie Torres... Ortho." Addison replied, not cheerful, she wasn't feeling okay.

"I heard her husband cheats on her with an intern, I think his best friend." Rutherford shares. "Or that's what all the nurses have been talking about instead of paying attention to their jobs." Kelly laughs.

"She looks like a good person, I'm sure she's good with the scalpel." Arizona says. She then glances in a worried way at Addison who now closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Everything okay, Shepherd?"

"Yeah... I'm totally cool." Addison lies, giving a fake smile to both blonde women.

"You look pale, are you having nausea? Do you think you could be..." Rutherford asks, as her OB/GYN she knew about her health.

"What? No. I happen to be sensible at the smell of fresh paint." Addison shares. Arizona takes the chart off of Addison's hands and starts reading it.

"Rest. You don't look fine." Arizona says. Rutherford nods.

Rutherford was a very smart, talented OB/GYN and she also was a neonatal surgeon, like Addison. Actually she was the youngest on med school when she met Nancy Shepherd. The radiant blonde left the chart she was reading on the nurses station and squeezed Addison's arm. "Come on, let's get you to an on-call room.

"It's okay, I'll go myself." Addison says, smiling a little. She then leaves Rutherford and Robbins alone.

"Addison? What- What the hell are you doing here?" Bailey asks spotting Addison inside of a closet, she asks with that typical nasty tone she has. Alex Karev is behind Bailey's back.

"I'm sensible to fresh paint smell." The redhead explains simply. Addison closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, she doesn't feel good. Bailey rolled her eyes and Alex laughed a little. Addison wasn't feeling okay, it was some kind of migraine.

"Addison, you should go home, I'll tell another doctor to replace you." Miranda says. "You should go rest."

"Is Derek having surgery now?" Addison asks rubbing her stomach. She was feeling short breath and her stomach was hurting a little.

"He just got into surgery. It's a simple procedure, but I'll tell him you went home as soon as he's out of surgery." Bailey tells Addison. Addison nods slightly and tries her best on sharing a little smile.

"Go change on your clothes. You look like you're going to faint." Bailey says nasty again. Addison steps on her feet from the ground and she takes the dirt out of her scrubs.

"Thank you." Addison says. She walks away weakly, she knows she's showing that weak part of herself but, does she care? Well, she does. She's supposed to be Satan and she rules everything that is evil, right? But, she just didn't feel good.

* * *

"I sent your wife home." Bailey says as she rans into Derek. He stares at her and she just keeps walking.

"My wife what?" He says following Miranda. She looks back at Derek and keeps walking.

"I said, that she went home. Never ever saw anyone so sensible to paint." Miranda says nasty and keeps walking away from the black haired good looking man. He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Addison's number as soon as he could.

"Honey? You're at home?" Derek asked. Addison felt content hearing him calling her _honey._

"Yeah... I'm not feeling so good. You know how I get." Addison says in a sick voice through the phone. She's at home, wearing her robe, resting on their bed, surrounded by pillows.

"Do you need anything?" He asks. Addison coughed a little.

"No, no. I'm fine. I just need fresh air and to rest." She says simply. And she was right. Derek wasn't going to shut himself up and think she was just going to be alright by herself.

"I'll be there in half hour." Derek said turning his phone off after the call. He didn't give Addison an opportunity to reply, he knew she was going to start assuring she was okay and she didn't need Prince Charming.

* * *

The sound of door of their apartment opening meant that Derek was willing to take care of Addison and not letting her go until she felt better, or saner.

"You really didn't have to come, I know you are busy these days." Addison said standing up from the couch and walking towards her husband. Derek was holding a bag from the grocery store.

"You know I wasn't going to take a no for an answer. I needed to check on you before cutting in someone else's head." He chuckled a little, kissing her forehead. She gave him a weak smile.

Derek walked to the kitchen and left the bag on the table, he took his coat off. "Feeling any better?" He asked. Addison nodded slightly and took a sit next to the table.

"I didn't remember how awful the smell of fresh paint got me like." She chuckled and gave Derek a cute look.

"Sorry I didn't check on you earlier at the hospital, I was so into operating I forgot about you for a minute." He apologized. Sometimes Addison was scared of that. Of being forgotten like back on Manhattan.

"It's okay... you really wanted to take that tumor out, I know." She stood up and opened the bag, she wanted to know what was inside and if she was allowed to eat any of those things.

"No... I used to do the same before the whole Mark thing." He said. Addison looked down to the bag, finding orange juice, water, some granola bars, a cereal box and mints. She was disappointed and felt sad when she heard her husband 'quoting' the Mark thing.

"I don't want to talk about it." Addison said, taking a bottle of water out of the bag and walking away from the kitchen. She went into their bedroom, getting comfortable under the covers.

"Addie..." Derek said walking into their room a couple mins later. "I wasn't trying to come up with the Mark thing I was just... trying to apologize about something I did."

"I know. I just don't like reminding those things. I don't want any of that to happen again. It's my past. And it was a mistake. I really thought you weren't going to bring it up."

"Hey, I am not bringing it up! I just... pretty much said it?" Derek said confused himself. He sat on his side of the bed and looked into Addison's mad eyes.

"It's like you are warning me it will repeat. I don't like hearing it. It makes me feel scared"

"Of what?"

"Losing you like I did." She replied. Derek didn't want to start an argument and he understood her words.

"Sorry. I used to worry more about my work and brains instead of you, wish I could go back and... pay attention." He gave her a small smile.

"Me too." She also smiled a little. She moved closer to him, her favorite human, snuggling with him there, resting her head on his chest and wrapping her arms around him. Derek caressed her arm and pulled her closer to him with his other hand.

"I don't want us to break apart this time." Derek said. Addison looked up to him.

"Neither do I." Addison came back on resting her head against his chest, Derek kissed her forehead and stroked her red flaming hair.

Derek felt bad for letting his patients wait another day to be operated, but he had to take care of Addison. They were back together and he wanted to be more present on their marriage. He didn't want to repeat what he did in NYC.

"Are you hungry? We can order something and check some expensive hotels in Mexico." Derek tried to cheer her up, taking on her ear.

"Yes! I like the idea. But, I think I would survive with an apple or something light... that paint really got me hard." She joked, Derek laughed. "You really wanna go to Mexico? I thought you were much more of an Europe guy." She laughed.

"Italy is still in my mind. But, I will go wherever you wanna go, as long as we are together I'm in." Addison looked at Derek with a smile. He felt so bad because she was sick, she was kind of pale and she acted weak. "I'm not that hungry though, so I guess I'll copy you and I'll also have something light."

Addison pecked Derek's lips and smiles weakly, she took the water bottle standing on her night stand and drunk from it. "I can't believe we are almost twelve years together." She smiles and turned around to look at Derek.

"And people thought it wouldn't last." He laughed. "Specially your mom."

"Also yours." She said back. "Beezy aproaved when she saw me all happy when we got engaged... or that's what I've been told by Archer. I'm so sure your mom still hates me." Addison laughed and got back in bed snuggling with Derek. He took off his shoes.

"She doesn't hate you!" Derek says.

"She does." Addison rolled her eyes.

"Yeah she really does." He laughed.

"She wanted you to marry a woman that could cook perfectly, that could make the bed everyday, take care of your kids, clean your clothes. I am not that kind of woman. You know that. I was born for the scalpel, not for being a boring housewife."

"I know. And ouch? You called my mom a boring housewife?"

"She's the best boring housewife, you can't tell otherwise." Addison laughed at her own joke.

"Fair enough." He laughed with her. "I'm happy I didn't marry a boring housewife. I like your rebellious self." Derek teased her, knowing she would find that comment kind of a compliment.

"And I'm happy I didn't marry a rich arrogant guy that my parents would like much more than their own daughter." She said. There was a silence, it was comfortable though. He nodded.

"We are meant to be." He gave her a little smile.

"We are."

"Sorry for cutting off our sentimental moment, I got really hungry, let's get our 'light snack'?" He did that weird cheesy tone at the word light, just to tease her.

Addison gave him a little giggle and a roll of eyes; "Okay, Doctor Shepherd." She replied.

* * *

Addison kept thinking about Derek mentioning the whole Mark thing. Was he going to keep doing that to make her feel worse about her sins? Sometimes she was scared of losing him over some argument or ending their marriage the same way but finding Derek with another woman... it already happened once. She wanted to believe it was just revenge and that her husband just did it because he was hurt. She felt relieved somehow that she never experienced the kind of pain Derek did after seeing the love of his life being touched by another man... she really didn't want to experience that kind of thing and she was grateful Derek somehow forgave her or just tried to don't remember it.

They both left the room together, Addison behind Derek, massaging his shoulders.

"You haven't massaged my shoulders since when... our third anniversary?" Derek said, stopping walking, just standing in the living room letting Addison Massage him.

"Maybe i should do it more often." She said. "You are way too tense." Addison added. She was feeling way better. The effect of the paint always made her super sick, but it was temporary after all.

"You really should."

"I don't get paid so I'm not interested." She joked and stopped massaging him.

"We can discuss the payment!" He said turning around to face his beautiful wife. "A check, maybe? Or do you prefer cash?" He laughed. She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Can it be physical payment?" She said seductively, Derek placed his hands around her hips and smiled at her.

"I've never heard of that... can you give me some kind of demostration?" Derek asked in her ear, charming as always.

"I could." She said pulling him a little bit more closer, giggling a little and looking into his eyes with desire. She was lost in those blue eyes, his left hand coming up her back... his warm touch... it was communication.

Derek looked down to her chest, he didn't realize she wasn't wearing a bra until now, the sexual tention was hard. Addison liked that. They both were liking it. He just wanted to jump on her, literally.

"Der..." Addison whispered, getting even closer, her nose slightly touching his. She opened her lips a little, so he did.

"Shh." Derek 'shushed' her, kissing her.

It was like one of those cheesy kisses on romantic old novels. There was no tongue for the moment, they lips where just interlocking. Addison was falling in love harder this time, she could sense it somehow. Derek's left hand got up to rest on her cheek. The kiss got passionate, they took few steps backwards Addisons side, she reached a wall to rest her back while still being kissed and touched by her husband's hands.

Their bodies weren't tense or sore anymore, the stress was totally gone. Addison took Derek's shirt off and then they kept kissing, she was caressing his back while he was taking her shorts pajamas off. It felt _free... _Addison missed this kind of passion. She missed feeling like Pretty Woman. He could make her feel like the prettiest girl in the whole world and she could believe it perfectly.

Derek was taking it slow now, he wanted it to keep going as a romantic novel and to make love to his wife, not animal hot sex, he wanted something more sentimental. He needed the connection and confidence between their bodies again, he needed those things back. After breaking apart back in New York they never shared such thing for real. Now it was happening.

They were those lovers that just knew they were perfect for each other.

"Are you still hungry?" Addison said, catching her breath from their last kiss.

"I'm starving..." he smiled and took her on his arm, carrying his almost naked wife back to their room, placing her on their bed. Addison took her shirt off, Derek enjoyed the view of her breasts.

He took his pants off and then got on top of Addison, she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. She knew what they were doing, it was all going slow and sweet... it was like they were meant to be. It was a feeling. She kissed Derek deeper but slowly, caressing his neck and cheek, touching his amazing hair also.

Derek caressed one of her legs around his waist, while the other one was supporting him not to fall on Addison. They broke apart for a moment, Derek took his boxers off and stopped kissing her totally. She looked confused at first, but then a little smile formed on her face. He removed her red panties.

She also wanted to take some control of the situation, she got on her knees in front of Derek and kissed him softly, their bodies on constant touch. Addison fell on top of Derek, letting him get inside of her, slowly. She wanted to feel all that passion and she wanted it to last. Somehow it was some kind of healing for both.

Emotional and Physical healing.

_Connection._


	8. Chapter 8

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 8_**

_Before you read;_

_Thank you all for your lovely reviews!! I really appreciate them. And if you have suggestion you are all super invited to leave them in the comments. Honestly, I thought this chapter was going to be better so... I'm sorry if it ends up being boring._

Derek entered the hospital holding his wife's hands. In the past days their relationship was getting better, or that's how it felt for him. He was concerned that If he asked how Addison was holding onto their relationship, she could give him some negative answer or something he really didn't want to hear. He really wanted this stage to last... _was it a phase?_

"Today we are the team Shepherd again!" Derek said. They both entered to their locker room, spotting Burke and Cristina Yang on a discussion, they didn't pay attention.

"Yeah!" Addison said with a cheeky smile, taking her coat off.

"I'll be happy to share my OR with you." He chuckles.Derek also took his coat off and smiled at his wife.

"Same." She smiled a little. She wasn't looking at him so she kept herself busy on changing into her scrubs.

Addison was ready far way before Derek. "See you in the OR?" Derek says charmingly to her, smiling.

"See you." She said pecking his lips and leaving behind Cristina Yang.

"More problems inside of your romantic bubble?" Meredith asked Cristina.

"Preston Burke is an ass." Cristina crosses her arms over her chest.

"An ass that you sleep with... at least you get laid."

"What about McVet?" Cristina looks at her blonde friend.

"We haven't..." Meredith told Yang, sincerely.

"I thought you were serious about McVet." Cristina Said.

"You know that I'm still into Derek." Meredith says.

"I can assure you he isn't into you anymore." A familiar voice calls from behind the interns. Yang and Grey stop walking and look to their back to spot Addison Shepherd listening to their chit-chat.

"He has a wife. Besides; That's not some kind of thing you discuss on a hallway, you two should be already checking on patients. Stop gossiping and do your job." Addison says taking her glasses off, walking in the middle of the two interns.

"Yes Mrs Montgomery." Meredith says, annoyed, seeing how the Redhead was leaving them far behind.

"Shepherd." Addison yelled at them.

She felt so annoyed about what that silly intern said. Meredith Grey was still in love with her husband and now she knew, well, she always knew, but she totally made it official. She felt insecure and felt that maybe Derek was into her also, and maybe that was the reason of why Derek day dreams so much lately.

She loved Derek endlessly and couldn't help but feel so hurt when she heard that coming out of Meredith's mouth. Addison tries to forget it, once again. _My husband didn't cheat on me, I cheated on him. _She kept telling herself while walking into Shannon's room.

"Good morning, D-Doctor Montgomery." The woman smiled weakly.

"Shepherd... good morning." Addison corrects her patient.

"Oh yeah, Shepherd. Must be annoying to have such a long name." The woman giggles nervously. Trying not to be disliked by the surgeon.

"It is, I prefer to use Shepherd, it reminds me of the man I love." Addison smiles at Shannon and walks next to her to check on her blood pressure, pulse and other things.

"That's sweet." She smiles finally. A true smile.

"Seems like you're doing just fine. Let's check on your baby." Addison says, turning her hair into a pony tail, setting everything to do an ultra sound.

"I am so nervous for today. I really hope every- everything will turn out okay." Shannon sometimes said things two times or so, it was a nervous tick, apparently. Addison gave her a grin.

"I'll do my best inside of that OR." Addison says. She never made promises, she couldn't give away false hopes.

* * *

It was already 4 PM, Addison and Derek were going to operate on Shannon Riley, she was finally eight months pregnant and the risks of losing her child were minimum, a 1.05% to be exact. Addison walks through the hallway of the east side of the hospital, since the other ORs where occupied. What she didn't know was that room 1039 was being painted. _Come on._ She told herself. She kept walking trying to hold her breath but it was late.

When she got into the OR, ready scrub in, she started to feel weak again. _Fucking fresh paint. _She wasn't going to take care of her language right now. She entered in there and got ready, while cleaning her hands Derek entered grinning as soon as he saw Addison in there.

"Is there any..." Addison said coughing a little. "Is there any possibility of leaving this for tomorrow?" Addison asks Derek while he starts to get ready. Derek frowns at her worried.

"Um, No. Why? Do you doubt my surgeon skills?" He jokes. Addison turns around to look at him in the eye. "Oh Addie... fresh paint?"

"No, no, no. You know what, I'm fine!" She says acting cheerfully, entering the OR. They were getting Shannon unconscious when she got in there.

Meredith entered the OR so did Alex Karev. Addison didn't know that Derek asked for Meredith's help. When Addison saw Meredith she really did wanted to die. Her husband entered the room, giving Addison a gentle squeeze on the shoulder, getting ready for operating.

"It's a beautiful to save lives." Derek said, smiling at Addison, looking at him with those shiny blue eyes. She grinned too.

First Addison was going to start the c-section, in case that Derek could damage an important part of the tumor that was pressing some parts of the brain that managed the heart and lungs. His goal was taking the whole tumor and her goal was saving both, son and mother.

She felt sorry for Shannon. She wasn't married or had a boyfriend. She was alone during her pregnancy. She took the scalpel... but suddenly felt so weak.

"I'll page Doctor Rutherford to cover me." Addison said, leaving the OR.

"Addison? Addison!" Derek called her name seeing her exit the OR.

"Maybe we should start with the tumor, Doctor Shepherd... the part that will not damage the patient's heart or respiratory sistem, if the bp drops we can charge to three hundred perfectly..." Meredith said. Alex Karev looked at Meredith with a little of hate. Miranda Bailey actually sent Meredith just to assist, but Karev was on Derek's services.

"Good suggestion but it's too risky, Doctor Grey." Derek replied. "Can someone call my wife?" Derek turned around to spot Bokhee wearing a confused look.

"I think maybe we should try it, you are the best neurosurgeon in the state, you can do it." Meredith kept insisting. Maybe she was right. Just maybe. Derek wasn't going to loose his time or his patient's, also, what the heck? Grey was right, he was Derek Shepherd.

* * *

Addison was washing her face for the eleventh time. She had been inside of the bathroom for half hour or so, she was feeling sick again. She had been paged for like seven times and she wasn't willing to show herself this weak, she couldn't operate and she felt so sorry for letting Shannon alone in there.

"Addison?" Callie entered the bathroom finding a pale redhead getting her face dry with a paper towel. "What's going on?" Addison tried not to show her weak expression to her friend.

"Nothing. I'm- I'm okay." Addison said moving her hair a little, adjusting her doctor robe.

"You are pale, what's wrong?" Callie walked towards her friend holding her by her shoulders, obligating her to look into her eyes.

"Fresh paint." She says. "I really, really, really hate myself." Addison says. "I'm supposed to be performing surgery."

"Who's your patience name?" Callie asks in concern giving a supportive little squeeze to her shoulder.

"Shannon. Shannon Riley. Young, brown eyes..." Addison took a deep breath.

"Oh my... that's was what I was concerned about." Callie says. Addison looks at Callie without understanding. _What happened? _Addison can see on Callie's expression that there's nothing good about the situation. She fells it.

"Callie, talk." Addison tries her best on ignoring the strong headache coming, she puts all of her attention on her friend.

"She passed away a few minutes ago... Rutherford saves the baby but, Shannon didn't made it. I'm so sorry." Callie says. Addison's weak face turns into a devasted one. She gets out of the bathroom as soon as she processes the news. The first person she finds it's her husband, passing a hand trough his dark hair, knowing he could have tried to help.

"Derek." Addison almost whispered.

He was far away from her, Grey got out of the OR now, and met Derek's eyes. Addison stopped walking as soon as she saw that blonde woman approaching her husband. _Someone take her off of my view._ Derek also seemed devasted, he glanced at Meredith, and said something, that made the intern's light smile fade away.

Addison was dealing with too much at the moment so just decided to go for it. She walked to her husband.

"Addison... I..."

"I trusted you could..." she could feel Meredith's eyes looking at her in judgement. "Doctor Grey, could you give me and my husband some privacy? I'm trying to start a conversation here." Addison asks in sassiness. Meredith gives her a _whatever_ look and walks away from the couple.

"Hey, that wasn't necessary." Derek said, referring to her rudeness. Addison rolled her eyes at that comment. He had such a big crush on that woman, she felt so bad and terrified that maybe after all her relationship with Derek wasn't meant to be, I mean, what happened to the last weeks? The last months? What happened? All the effort was a fiasco?

"It was. I want to talk to you. Not her. I'm not wanting to share my hate towards your mistress in front of her face, because that could be ruder. You know what's rude? Her standing in here, listening to our private conversation, that is rude. Not me telling her to go away." Addison says, pressing two of her fingers on her temple, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. _Stupid fresh paint._

"Addison, show some respect at least."

"Respect to the woman who screwed my husband when I was in New York wiping my tears and burning those sheets I slept with Mark on?!" Addison was having a vent. She took a deep breath, resting her hand on her hip. She felt how people looked at her, she didn't even cared about it. Derek did though.

"Addison. Stop yelling. We just lost a patient."

"Don't say that _we _lost a patient. Don't say it. I wasn't in there."

"I am so sorry. Somehow I got convinced and started myself."

"I can't even look at you!" Addison stares at her shoes for a moment and goes back to meet Derek's eyes, he's filled with concern and she's filled with hate.

"When Rutherford entered I pressed a nerve that leaded Shannon into having a seizure that made her start having contractions... it was all my fault. I shouldn't have.."

"Started without me." Addison says. Her voice is rising. She knows it. She doesn't really care. After all everyone was going to gossip about it.

"Addison..."

"Don't _Addison _me! Stop doing it. We are a team and we were supposed to work on there together." Addison snapped at him. They were still in the hallway outside the OR, nurses where glancing at them, doctors, residents... and of course, interns.

"Addison! Chill. I also wanted to save her life. It was my mistake. Not yours."

"I had a connection with that patient. Today I lost a patient. All because of fresh paint, Derek! Why the hell didn't you even got out to look for me, you know how sick it makes me. To be honest, I am hurt. Okay? I would rather be called Satan the rest of my life than still wearing my ring if you will keep flirting to silly and young interns." She yells.

"Addison." He wants to talk to her. All that she said was true and he knew she was just feeling sentimental and sick. She was having a moment. He could see how palid she was and he was starting to worry.

"Next time, be my husband." Addison yells at him and walks away. She doesn't feel good and she finally vents her feelings. She finally says what she thinks.

She was tired of seeing the little intern around him. Tired. Exhausted. Stressed.

"Addison" She feels a hand touching her shoulder. Richard Webber decides to face her when she's looking for a bathroom to hide and cry.

"Richard, please, don't. Just don't." The redhead says.

"You know it's not your fault." Says Richard once again, thinking he can actually help her to calm down. He was her med school menthor and she was so hurt that being disrespectful to him was nothing for her. At least not right now. Not in that place.

"With all the respect, I am not in the mood."

"I know it's rough. But Addison, you should apologize..."

"My husband's been looking at another woman since I first got here and I feels like that's fading away, but it hasn't."

"I am not aware of your whole marital situation, but you should act professional and go to call Shannon's family..." Addison cuts him off again.

"I'm not in the mood, Richard. Her family can be contacted by someone else. So if you'll excuse me, I need to find some place where I can cry by my own without being bothered." Addison walks away again.

Two hours have passed. A knock on the door of the supply closet makes Addison shake, she got little scared, it was quiet in there. Also kind of cold. The door opened a little.

"Hey..." Mark gets inside and closes the door behind his back. Something tells Addison something is wrong here and she would really like Mark Sloan to walk away and not to be too close to her right now.

"How did you find me?" Addison coughed.

"Nurses like gossip..." mark explained, giving Addison a little smile, maybe to cheer her up, maybe to just act friendly.

"If you think having sex with you will make me feel better you have ten seconds to walk away. Starting now."

"Addison..."

"Ten..." she was being serious about it.

"I talked to Derek."

"Nine..."

"He's sorry." Mark says still standing.

"Eight..."

"He told me he's not flirting with the mistress as you..." Addison cuts him off.

"Seven..."

"Could you please stop counting? I just had sex with a nurse, I am fine. I'm just checking on a friend." He says sitting on the floor next to the sick and depressed redhead.

"He will leave me."

"He doesn't. What makes you think that?"

"Maybe the fact that he has a crush on her and that she's way younger than me... I should have notice." Addison said in sorrow.

"Derek just told Meredith Grey to back off in the middle of a nurse station. I guess gossips don't get into suply closets."

"He didn't." Addison looked at Mark shocked. _He defended me after yelling him?_

"I am also super surprised, but he really just did. His exact words were 'screwing you was the worst mistake ever. Stop looking at me with puppy eyes and back off of my marriage and decisions in the OR.'" Mark imitates Derek in a stupid way to make Addison at least laugh a little.

"He really did say puppy eyes?" Addison laughs. "True, Grey looks at him with desiring eyes, I've seen it." She laughs again, referring to what Mark said.

"He's now arguing with the chief on his office." Mark added.

"Do you think he'll be fired?" Addison wipes a tear from her eye. She's feeling better, not less hurt but maybe hopeful. She wanted to believe Derek was being serious about being Addison and Derek again.

"I don't think so." Mark rest his hand on the back of his neck.

"I think I'm heading home if there's nothing else I can do." She rubs her stomach in pain.

"Give him a chance. He looks that way at everyone. He's always charming, it's his natural way of acting, you know that. You put him in a good mood." Mark tells her. "He still loves you and shares stupid stories of you two everytime he can do it. He told me about the plate."

"What? He told you about the plate? Oh my - I'm killing Derek." Addison laughed weakly, still sick of the smell of that paint.

"I never ever thought of that ever. Maybe next time I hear my neighbors arguing I will also break a plate on the hallway to make them shut up." Mark laughed. There was a silence. Mark was Addison's and Derek's best friend; and he cared even if he made them split up. He felt sorry for that. A lot.

"He told me and Preston that sometimes he waits until you are asleep to tell you the favorite things he saw you doing that day." Mark shared. Addison closed her eyes and just smiled. A little tear running down her cheek.

Suddenly she felt so bad for yelling at him. All that Mark Said was so cute and she really hoped that he wasn't inventing any of that because she really wanted it to be true. "Maybe next time I will act like I fell asleep to hear him say it." She giggled a little.

"I have a boob job in ten minutes." Mark said standing up from the floor.

"Hope it's for a patient and not for you." Addison joked.

"Ha, funny. See you soon, Red." Mark said leaving Addison in the suply closet alone again. Addison waited some minutes and took a deep breath. She stood up from her bed and walked through the hallway trying to avoid contact with everyone.

Suddenly she remembered...

_Shannon died, but the baby is fine. _

Addison went looking forward seeing that baby, she just wanted to make sure he was okay and that someone contacted his family so that baby could go home soon. Doctor Rutherford is looking at the babies alone, with a chart on her hand but her eyes are on one baby specially.

Addison is surprised she walked that fast after feeling so awful at that fresh paint. She notices Kelly's watery eyes and decides to show some support by squeezing her shoulder.

"Thank you for saving him. I shouldn't have-" Addison started talking, being cut off by Rutherford.

"No. It's okay. You weren't feeling fine and I was available, after all I'm the best after you." She gave Addison a little grin and a giggle, wiping a tear from her eye. "I'm so sorry. I heard the whole McDreamy and intern situation. I couldn't resist thinking how rough it might be for you... all of this mess."

"Wow, I didn't know you listened to gossip. To be honest I _want_ to believe that everything will be fine. That after all our love is stronger. But I don't know what to believe anymore. Yesterday I was looking at the love of my life in the eye and today I'm just looking at Derek."

"I don't want to sound annoying or disrespectful..." Kelly said passing a hand through her hair. Wiping another tear. "You should be thankful. You are blessed of at least being next to a someone who cares about you. We don't know what's going to happen, maybe tomorrow you will die and you don't know it. My point is... if you still love your husband, Derek, Doctor Shepherd, Whoever... go for it. Or try one more time, before you lose him."

Kelly was quite right. Addison didn't want to lose Derek again. There was a calm moment where both OB/GYNS looked at that baby in there, playing with his fingers, trying to open his eyes.

Then Rutherford spoke again; "Two years ago, back in Texas, where I used to live, I lost my baby girl." She opened her heart to Addison. Kelly tried not to cry but it was too hard not to. "She was already four years old. She had this blonde hair and her father's hazel eyes."

"Oh my God. Kelly, I'm... I'm truly sorry." Addison caressed her back, to show support. Kelly kept looking at that baby and took a deep breath. She looked at Addison meeting her eyes again.

"Before moving to Texas I met Trevor, he was the love of my life. His step-brother passed away, so he went to Europe and never came back. I got pregnant with his child before he left me and moved to Texas where my grandmother lived."

"Hey, Kel, you... you don't have to tell me this if you don't want to. I can see it affects you." Addison says, coughing a little again. "If it's hard for you to tell me this you really don't have to."

"Let me finish." She says with a little sad smile. "I want you to know how affortunate you are."

"Okay." Addison replies calmly.

A woman who lost her kid and had to deliver babies every day and look at happy mothers getting to know the gender of their children. How did she even survived a day?

"I gave born to the most wonderful human I ever met. Her name was Melissa, like my mother." Kelly gave herself another pause. Saying her name out loud and sharing her pain was something so powerful and different for her to do.

She kept talking; "I used to get so stressed and didn't know how to manage her crying, she was four, I was supposed to expect those attacks... I had my own breakdowns. Dialing Trevor's number in the middle of the night. One night I woke up and there was nothing left."

Addison didn't understand what Kelly meant by _"One night I woke up and there was nothing left." _

"Nothing left?" Addison asked. She knew she was going to regret asking, maybe she was pushing Kelly to tell her something she didn't want to know.

"The house was on fire. I don't know how it was just... I lost every... I didn't got..." She cried. Addison pulled her in a hug and kissed her temple. After all Addison and Kelly had been building a bond while working together and because that blonde woman was also her GYN/OB.

"I never said goodbye." Kelly said finally. She hugged Addison harder than ever and cried. She didn't care if they were looking at her.

"Kelly..." Addison hugged her tightly, letting her cry on her shoulder. Addison had her own tears too. "I'm so sorry, must have been so horrible to not be with your kid. I'm sorry for making my problems such big deals when there's much more worse things that happen to good people like you." Addison broke the hug.

"Don't let him go just because of an intern who's hasn't been eleven years with. Don't let him go because of your fear of being hurt." Kelly says all sad in sorrow but smiles a little to cheer Addison up.

After everything, the sickness she felt was going away little by little.

Addison knew that Derek was pissed at her somehow. She just wanted to talk and apologize an just enjoy having someone to be with. She entered Joe's thinking her husband was maybe sitting in there with a glass of scotch and an unhappy face. Instead she found interns gossiping, she turned around and went to a grocery shop.

She took a bottle of scotch, payed for it and got inside of her car, she knew where he was. Her least favorite place on the whole wide world, but it was his favorite place in the whole wide world. The woods. That trailer. She didn't even bothered on calling him or checking if he was home. She just knew it.

While driving her mind was totally filled of thoughts because of what Kelly said. She was thrilled and knew that she was right. As much as she acted like not she knew they were meant to be together and there was no intern that could break them, or a Mark. _The past it is not going to repeat this time. _She kept telling herself.

The windows of the cars are down now, she opens the door, takes the bottle of scotch and exchanges looks with him. "Addison." He managed to say. He just called her name and she grinned. Her smile faded away, she walked towards him, hoping of not receiving an apology, because this time it wasn't the case.

"Derek." She said. He was siting on the stairs outside of the trailer, she joined him in there. "I bought your favorite." She said opening the bottle.

"Addison I'm-"

"Don't say anything." She took a long sip of scotch from the bottle and handed it to Derek. "I wanna talk now." They we're looking at each other, they were looking at the front, just hearing each other breathing, enjoying the company even if it was hard to believe it.

"I guess I'm afraid of losing you. Because you... you make me feel special and I can't help but fall in love with you. Maybe you haven't got Meredith off of your mind and you have feelings for her. I just want you to know that... I love you, Derek. Today I acted like such a bitch and I just exploded. I needed to explode. I needed to vent and then... just, sorry. I need another try. I need to know I can count on you. If you still love me just-"

Derek kissed her. She didn't expect that to happen.

"Addison I have always loved you. Meredith was just... a crush. You, you are my wife. My best friend. My everything."

"Derek stop it." Addison said, taking the bottle away from his hand.

"Why?"

"We are going to shut up." Addison said, leaning her head, resting it on his shoulder. "Stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere." He wrapped an arm aound her, pulling her closer.

"I really thought you burned this trailer down months ago" Addison laughed at her own joke.

"I like the view. I can't quit." He laughs with her. "Did I even showed you the lake?"

"We aren't going" She said, looking at Derek's eyes. "It's too late and I don't think my heels would survive."

"It's like a beach, I swear. Similar to the Hamptons." Derek tries to convince her, he laughs at his own lies, she rolls her eyes and pecks his lips.

"We should go one day." Derek said. He left the bottle next to him on the stairs.

"No." She laughed. "I'm not going." She said resting her head on his shoulder. Derek took a flashlight out of his pocket and checked if he had his fire lighter.

"We will go! I want you to face your fear to the nature." He laughs, getting his flashlight, getting his wife off of the stairs and managing carrying her and also holding the flashlight to light the way.

"No! Derek! Put me down." She was resting her stomach on Derek's shoulder, her face facing his back, he held her strong.

"You'll be fine!" Derek said.

After walking for a few minutes, hearing Addison complaining about everything they got to Derek's favorite part. There was a big rock to sit on.

"Derek! I'm wearing heels." She complains much more.

"Take them off!" He laughed and reached for little pieces of wood so he could start a little fire.

"Derek please let's go to the trailer, I'll say yes to sex on the trailer but please don't make me do this. It's dark out here!"

He finally makes some fire.

"What the hell are you doing?" Derek took his pants off and shirt, his coat too, everything.

"Let's swim a little." He says walking towards Addison. She wants to say no, but his charms really have a big and effortless effect on her. The moon looks gorgeous and the light of it makes them see very clear.

"You win." She said taking her clothes off; just a bra and some panties, "if anything happens to me, I'm going to blame you until we're dead."

"You win." He laughs and kisses her, carrying her like a bride again.

"It's cold out here." She keeps complaining. Suddenly they are both standing next to each other on the water. "Look at that." Addison looked at the moon so fascinated.

"Why looking at that when I can look at you?" Derek said, all romantic, holding her hand. She turned to look at him. She finds herself tipsy and desires her husband deeply.

"Just kiss me." She demanded, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Derek kissed her softly. For a moment everything was so perfect, both wanted it to last.

The soft kiss ended up being a hot and passionate one, where she just knew she wanted him. She wanted him tonight. After a horrible day she needed her husband to help to heal some of her wounds. She didn't want to lose everything. She wanted him. That's all she knew. She still loved him.

"I love you." Derek said pulling away from her lips.

"I love you, too." Addison said with a smile.

How romantic. Making love in a lake, in the middle of the night, the moon above them...

Just them...

Addison and Derek.


	9. Chapter 9

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 9_**

I wanna say that; 1) thank you for the reviews they are soooo kind, please keep leaving reviews so I know your opinion so I can work harder on my content - 2)I'm sorry if I committed mistakes on explaining some medical stuff on the last chapter, as you guys know I'm not a doctor, and yeah maybe I watched greys but I'll always be more into their love lives hahaha, okay, hope you will enjoy this chapter.

"I am excited!" Addison said, sitting on her sit on the plane. They asked for a week off since they were going to celebrate their anniversary, Richard seemed to approve and obviously the nurses talked and gossiped about it the whole week.

"Me too. Can't wait to see you wearing those bikinis you bought. I like the red one. Even if I prefer to see you off of them or any clothes." He smirked at her playfully. She hit him playfully on the arm.

"I promise you'll have lots of fun with naked Addison." She kissed him. She loved traveling on first class. It was fun. It was classy and elegant.

"I'm glad to hear that." He rested his hand on her leg and grinned at her. A couple of weeks had passed since Addison's scandal at the hospital, but Kelly's words made her reflect and work on their marriage for the better.

"I'm happy we're doing this." Addison adds.

"Me too, Ads." There it was. The nickname she missed so much. It was odd when he used it, but she loved it. His hand was now caressing her leg.

"No, Derek, you really aren't going to get naked Addison now, not in a plane." Addison said as she felt Derek's hand massaging her leg. She knew him quite enough to know what he was trying to do. "I rather have sex in the back of a cab than in a plane bathroom."

"Boring!" Derek teased her. She laughed and kissed his lips. Both held each other's hand and relaxed. Addison hated when the plane went off, it made her feel scared but as a Forbes she was very good trying to hide it. Derek knew her so good that he knew she felt a little afraid while wenting off.

"Sex in airplanes is lame." Addison whispers and rolls her eyes.

"Correction, it is risky and dangerous and adventurous. It's fun." Derek teases her, kissing her cheek, making her smile at him anyways.

"I'm curious... have you ever done it? Because as far as I know you haven't been on a plane with doctor Grey, have you?" She asks with a laugh.

"No, of course not. But I've seen it in movies." Derek replies. Addison laughs. "Have you?"

"Once..." she laughs, "I'm kidding. I haven't done it. And I will not do it." She laughs again.

They both put their seat belts on. The typical voice of the plane announced they were getting ready for leaving Seattle to México, Playa del Carmen. They both can't wait to arrive in that beautiful country and enjoy themselves for a long while.

"Twelve years in two more days." Derek said looking at Addison.

"Twelve years!" She squeezes his hand nicely. She smiled and looked at him for a long time, trying to analyze if he was also scared.

"You're nervous." Derek says, guessing from her face expression.

"No." Addison says, lying. She was obviously nervous. She liked airplanes, but she was always scared of that part when she had the feeling of literary being on the air.

"I've known you for fifteen years Addison, you are scared." He assured her, smiling still, he couldn't be not charming. She couldn't help but melt slowly at that look he had on his face. He was saying some facts.

"I am." She sighed. Derek kissed her Temple and pulled her closer. She closed her eyes as soon as she felt his warm skin touching her, constant touching, contact.

As soon as she felt how the plane was already started to fly she squeezed Derek's hand tight. He squeezed it back, and looked into her eyes.

"Everything is fine." He reminds her, calming her down. For her, that meant that Derek cared.

_He cares._

"I know." She nods.

"If we ever have kids I trust you'll not squeeze my hand this way while being on labor." He laughed, looking back at his wife.

"Shut up!" She said annoyed but kidding. She loved how that sounded like. Now that she was fertile they could have many little Dereks and Addisons. The thought was on her mind and couldn't help but giggle a little. "It will be worse, if it ever happens."

"Are you okay?" He asks. She was looking less shaky and pale.

_He cares!_

"I'm alright." Addison said grinning. She was just fine.

* * *

As soon as they got to their hotel Addison jumped on the bed while Derek was trying to carry all her Louis Voutton suitcases. "This bed is amazing."

"I don't understand why you told the guy from the lobby not to take our suitcases!" Derek groaned leaving them all on the ground next to the door.

"I didn't want to bother him. Maybe he's having a rough day." Addison says, taking her shoes off, laying down in bed.

"Well; I had to go through a rough time while carrying all your clothes. Why did you packed so much things, we are going to be naked resting on each other most of the time."

"I needed options. I like to dress good, you know that." She said.

"Yeah, I get it, but you aren't one of those housewives that dress up sexy to impress other men than their husbands..."

"And i will never be that kind of woman, I want to dress good for you."

"I prefer you without clothes anyways."

"Derek!" She laughs.

The room had an amazing bathroom, with a big bath, a big shower and they also had thousands of different kind of bath salts. There was a little kitchen that added a microwave and a coffee machine next to the entry. It also had a big balcony that had an amazing view to the clear water that could be seen from their bed.

"You seem comfortable." Derek said, taking his sweater, shoes and socks off.

"Lay in here, you'll see what I'm talking about" Addison patted the empty side of the bed encouraging her husband to join her in there.

He took place next to Addison and took her hand. "Wow, true! It's like touching cotton candy." He said.

"Yeah." Addison laughed. "Are you..?"

"Ah?"

"Are you horny?" She asks seriously.

"No. Why?" He laughs at her question.

"Just wondering."

"I'm jet lagged." He laughs.

"Yeah me too." Addison sighs getting comfortable on their pillows. "A nap?"

"I say yes to that." Derek says, getting comfortable also, getting closer to Addison. "Be my little spoon." He couldn't help but chuckle at Addison's sweet sleepy face. She gave him a slight nod and got comfortable, being his little spoon. Derek wrapped his arms around her, she rested comfortably next to him, feeling protected by his strong arms.

"I love you." She whispers and closes her eyes.

"I love you too, Addie." He whispers on her ear, she giggles a little and takes the idea of sleeping as a very import matter.

Addison can't help but think what if they weren't together right now, right there. What if he just fidnyv love her anymore. What if she never received the call from Richard to work in Seattle? Would she ever have found a way to get back to Derek? She didn't know. She felt terrified of even thinking about those possibilities. Deeply, inside her heart, she would have liked Derek to stay next to her back in New York, to work on their marriage and to not let her go because he _used _to love her. Because he couldn't _live _without her. But she was all wrong. He could.

At least, he could until she came back and he realized what he was really missing.

Both reach sleep quickly, embracing each other, just, resting.

Derek wakes up hours later, Addison is calm by his side, not letting his arm go, he hears her laugh and wonders if she's awake or she was dreaming. He moves himself a little to look into her eyes, that are closed. She laughs again.

"Derek!" She says in her sleep. Derek can't help but laugh. Addison moves a little but keeps dreaming. She smiles. "Stop it..." she says sleepy. Derek laughs again, louder. She moves herself, now facing Derek's chest, she starts to wake up, looks up to his smile and smiles back. "What's so funny?"

"I'm so sure you were having a dirty dream." He laughs, Addison posses a hand on her chest trying to act hurt by his comment.

"I... how did you know?" She smiles at him and places a hand on his cheek. His skin is warm, she likes that.

"So you really were having a dirty dream." Derek teases her, rubbing her back.

"Shut up." She rolled her eyes playfullyz

"Come on tell me what I was doing" Derek smiles. She doesn't feel like sharing exactly the situation.

"You were... it's my dream, okay?"

"But that was me, so I have the right to know." She shakes her head, with her feet she tries to reach for his, to cuddle.

"Yeah, but I wanna keep it to myself."

"Wait, wait... is the Derek of your dreams better in bed than me?" Derek acts impressed, stroking her hair, she giggles.

"Derek..."

"I wanna know." He insists.

"Don't hate me but he kind of is." She laughs.

"What? How is that even possible?"

"You just... you don't do it like he does." Addison jokes and laughs a little.

"I don't do it?" Derek says moving the hand resting on her back down, attempting to touch her ass.

"Derek!" Addison stops his hand. Even if she doesn't mind, she likes bothering him.

"What does he do? tell me about it." Derek says, cuddling with his feet to Addisons. It feels right. It feels warm and... comfortable.

"I am not discussing my unreal fantasies with you." Addison says, moving her hair behind her ear.

"You should... maybe I can try to be like that Derek." Derek kisses her and breaks the kiss by now touching her leg. He knows she likes that.

"Stop it" Addison says, hitting his hand with her own, playfully.

"What?" He looks into her eyes.

"You know it."

"What?"

"That I'm sensible to your touch."

"What do you mean?" He comes back on rubbing her back, she likes the feeling of his touch on her skin.

"I like this game, you know..." she laughs, pulling him closer on a kiss, she holds his face with her two hands and keeps kissing him, deeply. Somehow he ends up on top of her, kissing her neck.

"I'm not going any further if you don't tell me what Derek did to you." He stops kissing her collarbone, coming back on looking into her eyes, she rolls her eyes, she was comfortable.

"You aren't going to surrender I can see." She laughs and sinks her soul into those blue eyes, all over again, it happens to her every time, it's like a hollow. She can not fall deeper in love for him when he looks at her with those sparkly eyes.

"Not until you tell me." He places a hand on her cheek, pecking her lips.

"Derek gave me a multiple orgasm." She laughs.

"Are you being serious?"

"Yeah" she laughs again.

"And I don't do that?" He looks worried. She laughs even harder, pecking his lips.

"It was just... I don't know. I can't explain. It was a dream, it's not real." Addison says.

"I wanna make your dreams come true." He unzips her dress from behind, touching the skin of her back slowly, barely touching it, she feels desperate, she feels like a horny teenager again.

"Derek" She begs.

"Shhh" he says, kissing her deeply, he was determined on making love to his wife, it was already night in there, so he didn't know why not doing it, why not just... doing that ritual of communicating physically and spiritually.

She kissed him back, getting the kiss deeper, both got lost inside of the sheets. Laughs... moans... and 'i love yous' coming from them. Both.

It was something spiritual, Addison liked to believe. Their hearts were next to the other, beating quickly, rapidly. She could feel his heart beating against her chest. Derek liked the sound of Addison tried to catch her breath after some rounds. The sound of Addison laughing at every massive orgasm. He was talking seriously when he promised on making her dreams come true. Addison's touch on hid chest, his back, his neck, his black hair. The touch of her red hair, her perfect hips, her long legs.

"That was..." Addison says, catching her breath after hours.

"Amazing." He finishes the sentence, she moves herself closer to him.

"Yeah." She nods. He wraps her with his warm arms. "Amazing." She says it back, looking up at his eyes, again. She kisses him, he kisses her.

"Addison..." he says after breaking the kiss. "I love you." He reminds her. She smiles and gets comfortable on his chest.

"I love you." She mutters. He strokes her hair and rubs her back with his other hand. Both fall asleep quickly.

Addison wakes up the first, kissing his chin since she's not allowed to go any further; she's trapped on his strong arms, she prefers to stay in there, just lying, resting, feeling his heartbeats next to her ear.

She finds herself filled by curiousity of how everything must be outside of the hotel, she looks through the balcony still in bed being wrapped by Derek's arms, she sees the clear beautiful water.

Addison smiles... the progress of her relationship with Derek lately has been spectacular. Everything changed. The illusion of a new life with Derek by her side was back on her thoughts.

It felt right.

_Beautiful._

* * *

Addison was putting her high black heels on, Derek was running his hands through his hair to make it look good.

The weather in Mexico was ideal. It was hot but the wind was like a natural air conditioner that helped not to melt because of the high temperatures.

Addison gets in the bathroom, pushing Derek to the side, not in a "hardcore" way, in a playful one, so she can get space on the mirror. She checks her make up and hair. Derek smiles at her. For him it was ridiculous that she was worrying too much about her image, after all she was going to look stunning anyways.

"What?" She asks with a laugh, looking into Derek's eyes throughout the mirror.

"You look beautiful." He says. "Breathtakingly beautiful."

"Thank you." She smiles and looks down for a minute, she's obviously blushing.

"I'm a lucky man." He says, kissing her temple.

"I'm a lucky woman." She smiles at him, she peck his lips and comes back on checking her hair one last time.

Addison laughs a little, she scans Derek for a moment.

"Let's go?" Derek asks her, reaching for her hand. She holds both of his hands and squeezes it gently.

"Let's go." She agreed. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "But I'm still in the mood for a bubble bath..."

"I really would like to have one too, but we will be late for our reservation." Derek smiled at her, a little flirtatious.

"Okay." She said. Both left their room, holding hands.

Addison was wearing a short black dress, a necklace with the letter _A_ her initial, obviously her rings and a bracelet Derek gave her on their third anniversary. Her hair was all together into a messy bun that actually looked pretty classy, pretty... pretty Addison.

Derek was wearing a tux, a typical black tux. He wanted to give Addison something special, earrings. But, they weren't any other normal earrings, they used to be property of Derek's grandmother. Addison loved that woman. Derek always had them hidding since his grandmother gave them to him, she said exactly; _"Save them for a very special moment. Save them for someone that makes you feel much more like yourself. Save them when you truly feel is the right time."_

Derek felt this was a special moment, Addison and him were working and planning on working on their marriage, they were being serious. Derek just knew it... he just knew Meredith was an obstacle and Mark was also one, so both could get stronger and overcome all the situations on the road.

Addison was his wife. Much more than his wife, she was his best friend, crush, concealer, lover, company, his home. He felt like there was not need of keeping everything to himself, he had his best friend to tell his gossips, opinions, secrets, crushes to her. He felt free around her. It was like... he could do things with her than no one else could (sexually and non sexually talking). He could spend hours just laying next to her, holding her hand, and he was safe.

They could laugh at each other for hours, until their bodies could ache after so much laughter, but they couldn't. They just... couldn't.

_Connection._

They could talk about whatever and they could keep talking... there was a non-stopping between them. They understood each other even if Addison as a Forbes had her own much more polite comments and opinions, but they always ended up in the same page. And he liked teasing her and playing with her, it was a habit. It was their thing.

He did felt more like himself.

He felt more like himself than ever.

He was happy.

Content.

It was the right time. Twelve years with the woman of his dreams, his rock. Twelve years of holding someone's hand. Twelve years of wearing a stubborn ring that always got lost between the sheets every morning after sex. It was one of those times when you feel peaceful enough to just... do... act... be.

* * *

Derek moved the chair so she could sit down. _I married a gentleman_. Addison thinks to herself. She knows she married a gentleman. She married the right, loving guy. Most importantly, the man who she knew she would never stop loving as much as she wanted.

Both couldn't stop smiling at each other, it was such an important and special date. Her thoughts against their loyalty to each other were totally gone. They were useless. They were both there. Now.

Everything that happened in Seattle or New York didn't matter now. Not now. Not today.

"You look beautiful. Breathtakingly beautiful." He quotes himself from earlier. She smiles at him and then looks away blushing, like a shy teenager. But, she wasn't shy, Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd wasn't shy at all, she was sometimes, or it seemed like... but for Derek that was graceful. Her grace. That was elegant. That was very... _Addison_.

Derek was lost in her eyes.

He knew she was a crazy romantic.

"Thank you." She grinned, looking into his eyes and then looking at her rings. "Twelve years." She looks directly into his eyes again, he knows he's falling in love with her grey-blue eyes. It was so obvious, right?

"Twelve years." He nods. She holds his hand across the table. The moment just... freezes. Their smiles. Their eyes. Their holdings hands. The chemistry in the air between them. The connection. That warm sensation of _home._

"Okay, I'm already starting to feel sorry for doing this, but, can we please order champagne instead of red wine?" Addison says, breaking the silence.

"But red wine is romantic!" derek says.

"But red wine gets me sleepy. And I'm sure you want naked and animated Addison tonight, not sleepy and boring Addison." She smirks at him and winks playfully.

"True." He nods and gives her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Sorry, But I also want to be naked Addison tonight, and I know wine also gets you tired, which means you also get sleepy." Addison gives another reason.

"I already agreed with you, Ads. Wait, are you saying that you are expecting naked Derek tonight?" Derek uses the last name again. He knows she does, but he finds it fun to make her look like such a softie.

"More than anything." She says, taking a deep breath, being total honest.

"Good. I like the idea." He giggles. She giggles too and lives the moment, she's happy.

"Me too! Sounds like a perfect plan." Addison adds.

"Can you even believe twelve years ago we got married?" Derek says, remembering those first days of marriage.

"It feels like twelve days." She rolls her eyes playfully.

"Twelve hours." He smiles. She feels his eyes reaching for hers, when she looks down, still acting shy. She's just happy. Excited. Excited for a new chance. She's trying to handle all the joy somehow.

"Seconds..." she says. She wishes Derek wasn't across the table, because meeting her lips with his was something she really wanted to do now.

"I feel cheesy." Derek laughs a little.

"Why?" She asks curious.

"I don't know. Do you feel cheesy?"

"I feel like those girls from the typical love songs that you know they are fake or they were inspired by Sheakspeare."

"Me too." Derek agreed, nodding.

"You also feel like a girl?" Addison laughs, moving a little of her hair backwards her ear.

"No! I mean... the cheesy feeling." He looks away and then looks back into her eyes.

"Old 90s song feeling?" Addison says, trying to understand better what's his point.

"Yeah." He agrees again. They did understand each other. He missed this kind of connection between them.

"Same." She nods slightly, smiling, showing those perfect theet.

"I'm running in low smotion." He says after a long silence of looking at each other.

"What do you mean?" She massages the back of her neck a little.

"Everything freezes as soon as I concentrate in your eyes." derek got romantic.

"Derek..." she says, all touched, all in love, it felt like going back to falling in love for him in the very start, in front of that dead cadaver... med school.

"You are... Just... love." Derek tries to explain himself to her.

"I am love?" She smiles showing her theet again.

"You are." He smiles. She enjoys the warmth of his hand against hers.

"I am love." She's lost on his eyes.

"You really are."

"I still don't understand you." She trails him off, laughing a little. He rolls his eyes playfully and smiled at her again, the smile can't just fade away, both know the smiles will perdure much more than they think.

"I love you. That's all I can think about. You are love." Derek explains. Addison understands a hundred percent.

"Derek, I am so..." she tries to talk but she can't explain what she feels like. Maybe freedom, maybe wisdom, Maybe joy, maybe sadness, nostalgia, _home_...

"Touched?"

"Touched." She nods.

"I read your mind?" He laughs.

"You always do." She laughs too.

"I know you love me back. You also want to say that I am love but you find it stupid, right?" He says, staying her thoughts out loud. He knows her.

"We sound like five year old kids, Derek." Addison says, looking around in case people are staring.

"Your eyes are teary, what's wrong?"

"What you Said." She presses two of her fingers on her ear, kind of anxious... she doesn't know how to react somehow, she's filled. She feels childish. More than ever, _childish._

"That you are love?"

"Yeah."

"I love you." Derek says.

"Me too." Addison looks concentrated into his eyes again. What if she's crying? She's _touched_.

"Say it." He begs.

"I love you too." She smiles. She kind of hates herself because of getting emotional, she never heard the story of any woman crying AKA wiping lady on their own anniversary. Maybe she was going to be the first one and then create a club. She wanted to laugh at that thought.

* * *

After dinner, they both left to the beach, fresh air. They just wanted fresh air. She didn't really cared if her dress and heels were going to end up filling by sand, she just wanted to be with her husband.

They both took a sit on the sand, both silent. The waves were the only sound they could hear, they decided to walk far away from the restaurant to not be bothered or stared at.

"Derek..." She starts.

"Addison." He turns from looking right in the direction of the sea to look into her eyes. They could barely see each other, but there was some light because of some lamps of fire that were on the beach.

"I want to talk to you." She says calmly.

"Tell me."

"I want a clean slate. I want it all new. No more fights. No more past between us. Can we just.. push The mark and Meredith situation behind and, and just keep walking? I want to built a new future with you Derek. I want to carry your children, I want to laugh and rest my head on your chest until finally Falling asleep." He smiles at her, reaching for her hand. She smiles and takes a deep breath. Keeping her serious face.

"I want to be Addison Shepherd. I want to get old by your side and not even bring inside of my head the name _Meredith grey _ever again. I want to go to sleep and not think that I once gave my body to a jerk that the only thing he did was damaging my marriage with the most incredible and wonderful man i could ever find." Addison makes a pause. Derek knows she's not done. She wants him to listen every single word from her sentimental speech.

"I don't want to feel insecure anymore. I want to be secure and I want to know that you want to work on this for real. We have been together twelve years. Twelve years that taught me that whatever you do, if you commit thousand mistakes, if you get hurt, real love like ours doesn't just... fade away." She gives his hand a gentle squeeze. He nods, and she keeps talking.

"And becoming parents doesn't mean we have to surrender or quit being doctors... you already quited your trailer because of me I'm not letting you quit your amazing job and passion because of our ADN. I just... i want it to be real." Derek is about to say something about it but Addison keeps talking.

"We are _Addison and Derek. I am holding my grounds. I'm holding them. I'm not letting them go. But these are new grounds. This is the new Addison and Derek. So... clean slate?" Addison says. _

"Yes. Let's do this. Let's do that. Let's grow from it. Let's be... _Addison and Derek _again." He leans to kiss her. She leans also, pecking his lips. She feels tender and cute, she wants that feeling to last. So she breaks the kiss, knowing it could grow into making love on the sand, which wasn't a good idea. She rests her head on his shoulder.

"Addison... about what you said..." Derek starts talking, Addison does a concerned face, thinking that maybe he's not that much agreed with the whole _clean slate speech_.

"Yes?" She asks, she's listening.

"I want you to be the mother of my children. I want them all to be half Forbes Montgomery, I don't mind knowing the genes are coming from you, my beautiful wife. I want us both to be parents and to enjoy our children." He says proudly.

"Derek... I... I can't even-" She tries her best.

"Sh... just, don't say anything." He says, kissing her forehead. "I know you agree, I know you are speechless." Derek says. There's a long silence, the waves are still sounding in the back of their thoughts.

"Derek I want to." Addison looks right into his eyes.

"Want to what?"

"I really want to have kids with you. I can't wait to become a mom, not anymore. You would be a beautiful father. I feel like it's time. It feels right." She says softly. He smiles. He always wanted to have a family with Addison, but the right time was never there, too much surgeries, too much work, they were sinking in that. Now they were both free. They had money, they had a good work. They could just... find a way.

"Lets have a baby." He says, placing a hand on her lap.

"Let's." She smiles. For her, _Let's _meant something like... _us. _She kissed him deeply, moving her hand across his hair, Derek caressing her arm and shoulder while the kiss kept growing. But then the words Addison said, "_i feel like it's my time. It feels right." _Reminded him about his grandmother earrings.

"Addison." Derek breaks the kiss.

"Don't Addison me." She jokes. He looks for something on his pocket, taking a dark red box out of it. "Derek... what's that?"

"Don't Derek me." He replies, teasing her. She just smiles and rolls her eyes.

"Come on, what is it!?" She asks, excited.

"I had to wait a while to finally give them to you." He says, opening the box. "It feels right. I feel much more like myself when I'm around you." He says.

"Your grandma's wedding earrings... Oh, Derek... I- I don't know what to say. I adored her. I can't believe you had them." Addison says; taking the box, examinating them for a minute, they are gorgeous.

"She said I had to use them, not wear them, you don't get to bother me with that." Addison laughed at those silly words. "But, for real, she said I had to keep them for a special moment, I figured maybe tonight, after twelve years."

"Thank you so much, Derek." She smiles and puts them on. "Hey, I want to tell you that, maybe these earrings are stunning, incredible, exquisite... and Mexico is quote of an amazing land... but, i don't really care, as long as I'm with you, as long as we are together I can be joyfully happy."

"Addie..." he says softly, she just closes her eyes when she Sees him approaching to her softly.

They kiss.

"Hey, what about if we go back to our hotel room, we take all this sand out of our clothes and we start practicing?" She offers.

"I like how the word practicing sounds like in that phrase." He laughs.


	10. Chapter 10

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 10_**

Back to Seattle. Work. Surgeries. Stress. Anxiety. Gossip.

They had an amazing time back in Playa Del Carmen, Mexico. But it was already time to go back and keep being the amazing kick ass surgeons they were, they came back around one week and some days ago. Addison knew from the very beginning that she was going to miss the white beautiful sand, the sun, the hot temperatures compared to Seattle, where it rained a lot.

Yay, back on track. Addison wakes up that morning on Derek's part of the bed, while Derek is on her side. Suddenly she remembered what happened last night, or... a part of what happened and she also realizes in what bed she was resting in. _The trailer. _

They both got drunk and had sex in the lake, for the fifth time. It was almost a new tradition, even if Addison was still terrified of being touched by a fish or something. But, they were flying on the clouds kind of drunk, so, the thought of the fish wasn't present at all. Someone's phone starts ringing.

"Derek... are you also hungover?" She asks, waking her husband up, she talks sleepy, tipsy.

"Don't raise your voice that high." He says, with a moan, he was totally hangover still. He was turning around, falling into the little space there is of the floor. Addison laughs and moves herself quickly to check on her husband.

"Are you okay?" Addison asks, giving him a hand in case he needs it. She giggles.

"I feel like someone beated my head against a rock for hours." He says, using her hand to stand up, coming back on the bed.

"Who's that phone from?" Addison asks, looking around.

"Might be us..." he says non sense.

"I think you drunk even more than I did. Should we call Richard and tell him we are totally dead?" Addison asks, holding Derek's hand. The phone stops ringing and they don't worry about it.

"Please." He says, taking a deep breathe. Derek laughed "we are totally dead!"

"How many bottles did we drink last night? I can barely remember getting wet, I mean, my hair is wet still." Addison says, getting up from the bed slowly, touching her head in pain because of the hungover.

"Addison, keep it down." Derek says.

"I'm so thirsty." Addison says, reaching for her robe.

"We live our lives once, let's open a bottle." Derek says cheerful, more alcohol seemed fun after a long night filling themselves with it.

"Seems like you were the must drunk one." Addison jokes.

"I'm still drunk, I think." Derek laughed out loud.

"I'm drunk." Addison says. Derek looks at her. "I got paged but... I- I can't drive." Addison says in a drunk voice.

"Call a cab" Derek laughs. Addison laughs.

"Ha, that's funny." She laughs, reaching for her phone.

* * *

"Hi Miranda!" Addison laughs and greets Bailey at the enter of the hospital, Derek wheezes behind her back, trying not to make too obvious that he was laughing, even if that wasn't working at all.

"You two are late... why are you wearing sunglasses? And why do you smell like... are you drunk?" Bailey asks with her annoyed tone.

"We dont want to burn our eyes." Derek laughs. Addison laughs and hits his arm playfully. Both try to stand in front of the woman much more serious but can't help and start laughing.

"Shepherd" Miranda says. The interns and residents had their eyes on the Shepherds.

"Yes?" Addison and Derek answer. Both look at each other and laugh.

"You two are totally wasted. How the hell did you two got in here without killing yourselves? You two are incredibly drunk, you can't operate or even be here in this state."

"We can have consults, right honey?" Addison says, resting her head on Derek's shoulder.

"Yeah, we can do that. We aren't that tipsy." He laughs. Addison wheezes and starts laughing badly.

"We are world class surgeons."

"You have pendant surgeries, Addison." Miranda says to her, trying to wake her memory up somehow.

"Tell Ruther- I cant- Ruthssmscn" Addison laughed "I can't pronounce her last name." She said with a laugh.

"Rutherford?" Bailey asks. She doesn't know herself why she bothers on even trying to have a civilized chat with the pair of drunks.

"Yeah, her. She can do my surgery" Addison says, moving her hair with her hand.

"She has the chicken pox, you will... forget it." Bailey tries to talk to them but she seriously can't. They are both way too childish when they have drunk liquor.

"Addison what's your name?" Derek asked.

"I don't know, what's yours?" Addison started laughing.

* * *

Cristina Yang was standing next to Meredith Grey and Izzie Stevens.

"What do you think that could have lead them to end up in such way?" Izzie asks, looking for more gossip to create.

"I don't know, maybe She-Shepherd is an alcoholic and she's dragging McDreamy with her." Cristina jokes.

"Or Maybe Derek got her drunk to take advantage of her?" Izzie adds. Meredith rolls her eyes.

"I support Cristina's guess." Meredith says. Izzie rolls her eyes.

"I never imagined Addison Montgomery would ever get this drunk." Izzie laughs.

"Me neither." Cristina says.

"I imagined her as a boring bitch." Izzie confesses.

"But... you arent imagining anything in there, that's a fact." Meredith laughs.

* * *

"Okay, You two get out of my view, go somewhere to get clean as soon as possible, did you two hear me?" Miranda almost yells at them. She was totally committing a mistake by letting them stay.

"Yes mom." Derek nods. Miranda Bailey rolls her eyes and keeps walking.

"Boring." Addison walks with Derek into the lockers room laughing.

Preston Burke and Mark Sloan are staring at the couple, _are they drunk?_ Is what Preston thinks about the first. They had a rough night.

"Derek?" Mark asks.

"Hi man whore" Addison greets, taking her coat off and dropping it on the floor, she laughs at her own greeting. Mark prefers not to argue with the drunk lady.

"Hey, Jerk!" Derek says, patting Mark's shoulder.

"Derek I told you drinking that scotch last night wasn't a good idea..." Mark says. Addison rubs Derek's back.

"You two look like you have been partying for two Months. What happened?" Preston Asks.

"Mark, it was you the one who grabbed my ass?" Addison asks, referring to the night before, she ignores Preston's question.

"What? No. That was Derek. I was on the chair laughing at you two." Mark says.

"You were there too?" Preston asks Mark.

"Most of the time until they started making out and I left." Mark said, it was true.

"That's funny." Addison laughs.

"How the hell did you get here?" Mark asks Derek who's drinking water.

"_I _had to drive them." Callie says, entering the locker room. "Worst of all they started kissing in the back of my car like animals." The Latina says, leaving her things on her locker.

"I'm sorry Callie but i have a crush on him." Addison says laughing. "I'm drunk." She laughs again.

"I have a crush on you too!" Derek says, kissing her cheek. Both resting against their lockers.

"The last time I saw you two this lost we were on med school and Addison hated us." Mark laughs at that memory.

"I did not... hate you." She says, walking over Mark, to point him with her judgemental finger. "I was in love with Shepherd since the start and you were annoying."

"If you want to go home, tell Mark because I'm not doing that again." Callie says, taking her jacket off.

"I pass also! Sorry not sorry." Says Burke exiting the room alone.

"Dammit." Mark says.

"Your turn Mark, or you get them sober before the Chief sees them, or you drive them home." Callie says now leaving the room.

"Der... I'm horny." She begs and leans on Derek, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Wanna practice?" He started kissing her, but Mark decided to end the moment.

"Okay okay! I'll take you guys home. Give me ten minutes, I'll come back soon, just, don't get naked, not here." Mark says, exiting the room, looking for Miranda to explain his absence if anyone needs him.

"Hey, hey, hey... now i realize that you stopped calling me Satan a long while ago." Addison sits on the floor.

"True." He took a sit next to her.

"I didn't like that. I never heard you apologizing." She declares.

"I'm sorry for calling you Satan, Addie." He says, resting his head on her shoulder.

* * *

"Mark, we are fine!" Derek says entering the loft. Addison walked inside throwing her purse and coat the floor not really caring, she's tipsy, the alcohol starts to leave their bodies so the hungover starts all over again.

"I'm not so sure about that." Mark says, entering the apartment, closing the door behind his back.

"My head hurts." Addison says, a little more lucid, taking her heels off of her feet, she ran into her bedroom and got inside of the bed still dressed up.

"We are fine, Mark." Derek assures him, taking another sip of his water.

"Derek! I need a pill." Addison yells out loud from the room. "My head is killing me." Derek and Mark enter the master bedroom, Addison with a hand on her forehead, covered by the covers of the bed.

"My sentiments exactly. I'll look for some medicine I can give you. Here, drink some water." Derek says, handing her the bottle of water.

She takes a sip. "Mark, be sincere, how bad were we out there, at the hospital?" Addison asks, taking another sip.

Derek takes a sit on the feet of the bed. "I'm so sure we were a disaster." Derek adds.

"You two were much more worse than that, Thank me that I got you two out of there before the Chief could see you in that state." Mark laughs.

"I need that pill, Derek." Addison begs. He nods and stools up from the bed, he looks on his nightstand drawers.

"Here." He says, handing it to Addison. She took the pill and swallowed it.

"Thank you, honey." Addison says, with a tiny smirk for her husband.

"Welcome."

"Anyways, i have some surgeries today, and also an explanation to give about you two, so, I'll see you tomorrow, please no hungover." Mark laughs.

"See you!" Derek says. Mark smiles at the couple and leaves.

"Derek, I never got this bad since med school." Addison laughs at the tired expression her husband has.

"Yeah me too, what happened last night?"

"I don't really know." Addison shakes her head, still a bit hangover.

"I need a nap." He sighs.

"Ugh me too." Derek wraps his arms around her and kisses her deeply. The both fall into their sleep very soon.

* * *

_Last night..._

_"Wine?" Derek asked Addison. _

_"Sure." Addison handed Derek her cup and then received it back with wine. "What if it never happens...?"_

_"What do you mean?" Derek asks, holding her hand, looking at the lake, everything is quiet._

_"What if I never get pregnant?" Addison says in a low energy mood._

_"Hey, it's okay. Have faith you will." Derek says, squeezing her hand gently. They are both on a rock sitting next to each other. Keeping each other warm._

_"I wanna get drunk before I can't. I think I will need something much more strong." Addison laughs a little._

_"Bourbon?" Derek suggests. _

_"Yeah... even if it's not my preference, but, I need to get extremely drunk before I can't touch any kind of alcohol." Addison reflects._

_"So, we are being serious?" Derek says, referring to making their family grow. _

_"Yeah." She nods with a smile, kissing his cheek._

_"I'll call Mark." Derek reaches for her phone on his pocket._

_"What? For what?" Addison asks, as soon as he dials his number._

_"So he can bring us some strong liquor," Derek laughs and kisses her temple, showing some support. Deep down he wants her to calm down and just be faithful for a moment. She didn't have to worry about anything._

_"I love you." She muttered._

_"Me too." He said sweetly. "Hi, Mark, are you up for getting a little drunk with us?" Derek chuckles at the phone. Addison rolled her eyes playfully and then laughed._

_Back to reality..._

"Better?" Derek asks as soon as Addison starts to wake up hours later, he smiles at her, she smiles back, she's enjoying her company.

"I think I remember calling Mark last night." Addison chuckles waking up slowly.

"Remember when we went to anatomy class with hangover and Richard kicked us both out?" Derek asked laughing.

"I do remember." Addison laughs with him. "In my defense, you were the one who got me drunk."

"That's a lie, why do you always make me look like the bad guy?" Derek says, teasing her, pulling her closer.

"Because I like bad boys." Addison laughs, Derek winks at her.

"Feeling any better?" Derek asks, caressing her hand.

"Surprisingly Yes." She nods.

"Me too." Derek pecks her lips and smiles at her. Someone's phone starts buzzing. Probably the hospital.

"Yours or mine?" Derek asks Addison, both not in the mood for any phone calls.

"I think it's mine." Addison says. Derek stands up from the bed and reaches for her purse.

"Yours." He Says, taking the phone out of the purse, showing who's calling.

"Naomi... why is she...?" Addison says, taking the phone out of Derek's hands. She wonders why her best friend is calling her.

"I don't have idea." Derek says, getting out of the room, probably going to the kitchen for a snack, giving Addison some privacy.

"Nae? Whats going on?" Addison asks worried, her best friend from med school was calling her and she didn't really know why. _Maybe a surgery!_

"Addie! You finally picked up. I called you twice this morning. I've been worrying sick about you." Naomi says on the phone. Addison wonders why.

"Why? What the hell did I do now?" Addison says playfully, with a good mood, she's happy her friend called.

"You called me last night." Naomi says.

"Crap..." she whispers to herself. She was way too drunk and maybe she committed mistakes or said bullshit to her best friend.

"You don't remember, right?" Naomi laughs a little. "I mean, you sounded pretty much drunk; I could barely hear you with Mark and Derek yelling in the back of our call." Naomi informs Addison. She sighs in relief, thinking maybe Addison said hurtful things, but sounds like Nae is in a good mood and doesn't sound upset at all.

"I'm sorry, I don't know how but I got badly drunk." _Oh I do know how... "_I mean... I seriously do not remember anything, whatever that I told you that is probably just a silly thing, ignore it. I'm fine now. I missed you by the way." Addison says with a tender voice.

"I missed you too! But I really want to talk about what you said. I can't stop thinking about it." Naomi confesses. Addison is so confused, she steps out of the bed and walks outside of the balcony of their room.

"Oh my God, what did i told you?" Addison says, massaging the back of her neck.

* * *

_Last night..._

_"Hello babe! Naomi!!" Addison says at the phone, all alive. Mark and Derek yell hello in the back. "Shut the fuck up, Mark."_

_"Addison, what is going on? We haven't called in a while... are you..." Naomi tried to talk but gets interrupted by Addison once again in a lifetime._

_"Naomi, is that you?" Addison is about to yell at the phone. "I'm with Mark and Derek, the husband and the ex lover!" She laughs at the phone._

_Back to reality..._

* * *

"Most of what you said were not even words, and the things I understood at first were silly, I could barely understand you or hear you." Naomi says.

"Naomi, go to the point?" Addison just wants to know what she said exactly.

"Yeah, sorry... you said something about trying with Derek." Naomi says filled by joy. "You know you two are my favorite couple in this whole world besides Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt." She informs her bestie at the phone. Sometimes Addison wished they could go back to that gross anatomy class to just laugh a little with her old friends.

"Thank God... I thought it was going to be much more worse." Addison laughs a little. "Wait a minute, Naomi, Angelina and Brad? I'm totally team Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt." Addison says her thoughts out loud.

"Addison."

"What?"

"Focus." Naomi orders her best friend.

"On what?" Addison asks confused, she thought the conversation about the call was about to be over, seems like she really did talk with her last night.

"Let me talk!" Naomi demands.

"Okay." She nods slightly.

"Are you two really trying?" Naomi asks curious, her best friend was working on her marriage and she was pretty much excited of the result.

"Wait... what did i tell you exactly?" Addison is confused, or at least seems like she is.

"That you two were trying, do I have to repeat everything again?" Naomi laughs at the phone. Addison nods still not understanding, maybe stressing out? She wanted to keep the whole baby thing as a secret, since it was a private decision that Derek and her were working on.

"Be specific." Addison demands. Naomi sighs a little tired.

"Why? Is there anything more than you and Derek working on your marriage?" She asks processing the facts; curious of what answer Addison Forbes Montgomery Shepherd will give her.

"Yeah... kind of." She says happily.

"Kind of?" Naomi asks, in a flirty voice.

"Yeah... I mean... yeah, kind of." Addison says calmly, nodding.

"Addison what are you trying to say?" Naomi says excited of the answer. What was going on between Addison and Derek?!

"It's just- It's weird." Addison doesn't know how to explain herself.

"Tell me."

"Okay, Okay. You win." Addison looks into her room, still empty, Derek was still somewhere else.

"Don't lie to me though. We have been friends since forever it does not matter that we haven't talked in a while, so, tell me."

"Naomi..."

"Be specific." She adds, cutting Addison off. She wanted to make a goofy comment and she did. _Mission accomplished._

"We are trying on having kids." Addison says proudly, sitting down on a chair on the balcony, the sun hiding under the sea... what a beautiful sunset.

"Are you kidding me?" Naomi almost yells.

"No. Why? Do you think I would not be a good mom?" Addison teases her.

"Addison!"

"Naomi?"

"That's amazing. Have you been to the OB?!" She asks in excitement. Her best friend was planning on being a mom, on growing, on evolving her relationship with her lovely and dreamy husband.

"Yes, I'm sane." Addison chuckles.

"Sane like fertile as hell?" Naomi chuckles.

"As hell."

"Damn. Addie! Oh my God. I'm so happy for you." Naomi says in content.

"Slow down. I'm not even pregnant yet." Addison says.

"It doesn't matter! I'm already happy. You will be an amazing wonderful mother. I'm sure." Naomi says, very sentimental. This was affecting Addison somehow, opening her eyes. _I will be a mom someday! _She told herself.

"Naomi, stop... I'll cry." Addison says with a little giggle. Her best friend was making her feel so encouraged, safe.

"Derek will also be an amazing parent for your kid." Naomi adds.

"Don't give me too much illusions, please." Derek enters the room, spotting her wife outside still on the phone.

"You _will_ have a child, Addison. I have faith on that!" Naomi assures Addison.

"Thank you. I needed you. I missed you. Come visit someday." Addison says happily.

"I will! I promise. As soon as he knocks you up, you call me so we can joke about it." Naomi says joyful.

"Love the idea! It's a plan. I also want to chat with you about Angelina Jolie versus Jennifer Aniston." Addison laughs.

"Addison, grow up, they were never a thing." Naomi rolls her eyes, while resting on her favorite couch at her place.

"They were cute! Come on, you know it." Addison laughs.

"Angelina."

"Jennifer."

"You win, she's hotter. Anyways, I'll miss you. Remember on calling me." Naomi says, wanting to end the arguing, even if she's smiling.

"Okay, I will call you as soon as I know. Talk to you soon, I'll keep you updated. Bye." Addison says. Her heart aches a little. She's sad she's gonna finish a call with one of the most important people in her life. Naomi Bennett was a huge support since the very start and she wanted her to be present inside of her whole fairytale with Derek Shepherd.

"I will miss you. Bye Addie, take care." Naomi says. Addison obligates herself not to get emotional, she missed her best friend. Well, second best friend, Derek was her best friend, number one.

* * *

Addison ended the call and entered her room again, closing the door behind her, sitting next to Derek.

"Apple?" Derek asked offering Addison a red apple.

"Apple." She laughs a little and pecks his lips. He hands Addison the apple. "I miss Naomi." She admits, giving Derek a sad look.

"We can go visit her soon!" Derek says, trying to cheer up his wife. She nods in a low energy mood, taking a bite of the apple. "Or they can come here some day, along with Sam." There's a long silence, Addison looking at the feet of the bed, no expressions on her face.

"I miss her." She looks at Derek with watery eyes.

"Addison..." Derek looks worried into her eyes.

"I miss her so much." A tear comes down her cheek. Sometimes she could also be soft and sentimental, emotional. She was born in a rich family where everything wasn't that important, feelings weren't that big thing, she used to hide her sadness since she was little, but, somehow her sadness could be showed in front of Derek.

She wasn't a muppet. She had feelings. Human feelings. Maybe sometimes her personality was being an annoying rich bitch, but, inside, she was an angel that needed love and appreciation.

"Hey, come here." Derek said, taking the apple from her hand, leaving it on his night stand, pulling her in a hug.

"I miss having gross anatomy class" she chuckled a little between tears and crying.

"It's okay to miss someone." Derek rubs her back, showing support. Making her feel like it's okay not to be okay. Letting her vent on his shoulder. She hugged him even harder, she needed a hug.

"I missed you, much more than anything else." She cried again, Derek felt her tears dropping on his shirt.

"Addie..." he says on her ear, feeling sorry.

"Derek, just hold me. Don't talk, just hold me." She says, sighing, getting comfortable into his arms.

"Okay." He kisses her temple and keeps hugging her, tightly. "I haven't seen you crying in a long while, are you sure you're okay?" Derek asks breaking the hug.

"I kept it all inside. I never... I never cried my pains and now I feel free to cry them all... I feel free again." Says Addison looking at her rings, wiping tears from her eyes.

"Addison... tell me about it." Derek is Addisoning her but she doesn't really care right now. He's caring.

_He cares._

"No, Clean Slate agreement, Derek. Clean Slate." Addison reminds him. The clean slate agreement was like her bible. It was incredibly important.

"I can see you are affected, Addison. Screw the clean slate for a minute." Derek says, holding her hands.

"I missed you so much." Addison says in sorrow.

"I missed you too." He says with a cute, shiny, sweet smile. Mcdreamy's smile.

"It's just that... when you left me, I mean, when you left Manhattan, I was all alone and I barely cried. I just couldn't shed any tears. I felt so powerless... I was afraid of losing you forever and i didn't want to show my weakness to anyone not even me, so i kept my tears inside." Addison tells Derek.

"Addison..." he hears in pain. He's sorry for all the pain that their separation used to bring Addison. He was also broken but he couldn't forgive himself enough because of hurting Addison. Disappearing without a proper goodbye.

"I'm so afraid of screwing it up again. I'm terrified. Horrified." Addison says, wiping another tear.

"Hey, it's alright. We are alright. It's okay." Derek says.

"I was so afraid... I am so afraid of losing you, because I'm still in love with you." Addison confesses. Her thoughts are cute. Derek loves it. Derek loves her. Derek melts for her eyes too, but now he feels cold and sad, in sorrow; The love of his life is crying, in pain.

"I was and i still am in love with you, Ads. I'm so sorry. I was also hurt and I didn't realize what I was doing until I saw you and I knew that something was much more than wrong..." Derek says sincerely. Addison looks away, she doesn't like to show her weaknesses, she then looks at him again to meet his eyes.

"I love you, Derek." Addison says, softly, squeezing his hands gently, even sweetly. She loves him. And he knows that, she just loves to remind him that, she loves saying those words. _'I love you, Derek.'_

"I know, me too. I love you too, Addison." He smiles charming at her. She blushes a little.

"I don't want this to fade away. I want _us _to last." Addison says, moving her hand to his cheek.

"We will, I promise. You already worked too hard, it's my moment to try my best too."

"Thank you." She nods slightly.

Derek comes back to the night he threw her clothes out. The rain and that storm. Addison crying outside of the door, his heart sinking in pain and disappointment. It was horrible. He couldn't imagine himself coming back to her. Falling harder. He never imagined that their love could fight such thing. When he left New York there was no plan besides not even saying one more word to Addison... he regrets those thoughts.

"Now, back to clean slate?" He smiles at her, he gives her a little laugh, even.

"Back to clean slate." She nods and caresses his cheek with her finger.

"Great." He Says happily. Addison smiles at him. He's happy, glad, to see her smile after crying. He can't call her a drama queen, she's a very closed person to other people, he knows that, she knows that.

"I need a hug." She says honestly.

"Come here." He says, pulling her into another hug, holding her tight. They are _Addison and Derek _again. The connection is back. It's there. The whole time.

"Derek are you...?" Addison asks.

"Sh... hold me and shut up." He says, a little wippy. Addison smiled, closed her eyes and hugged him even tighter if it was possible. Derek was in tears too. _Feeling guilty?_

"Who's at the door at this hour?" Addison asks annoyed when that morning someone knocks on the door.

"I- I don't know." Derek says waking up sleepy.

"Jesus..." Addison says, trying to get out of bed, but the tiredness is keeping her in bed.

"Who should go?" Derek asks.

"Is that a question or an _open the door Addison_ kind of thing that you are saying?" Addison laughs a little.

"I am tired. Can you go?" Derek asks completely honest. That was their marriage, the trust to just say _I'm tired _or _can you just do it?_ Or maybe even _I ate your chocolate... _kind of thing. I guess.

"Great." She says a little annoyed, putting on her robe, walking to the door or the apartment. She doesn't check who's there, she just opens the door.

"Hey!" Mark yells at Addison trying to scare her. Mark and Arizona Robbins are on the door, Mark holds two cups of coffee.

"You gotta be kidding." Addison mutters, opening the door, letting both get inside.

"Good morning, Montgomery-Shepherd." Arizona says, closing the door behind her back, smiling at the messy redhead in front of her. "Heard about your hangover and Mark and I decided to bring coffee!"

"Don't tell me you two slept together." Addison asks both. Arizona looks at Addison with a weird look.

"Um, of course not. I'm a lesbian." Arizona laughs.

"And that would be gross... no offense Arizona, you have a cute butt, but I'm much more into commitment." Mark declares.

"Mark, what have you been smoking?" Derek enters the room laughing at the last thing Mark Said.

"Morning Shepherd." Mark says, squeezing his best friend's shoulder.

"Good morning." Arizona tells Derek happily. Derek also greets but his eyes are on the redhead sipping her coffee, she's quiet.

"You two slept together?" Derek asks, taking a cup of coffee.

"No! Not at all. She's a lesbian." Mark explains, Arizona nods.

"Then, whos your commitment girl?" Derek laughs at Mark.

"Rutherford... kind of. I like her. But she ignores my hot body." Mark explains his issues.

"Suddenly I'm not hungry anymore." Addison says sarcastically, grinning.

* * *

Sorry if this chapter was boring. THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I love you all.


	11. Chapter 11

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 11_**

_like it or not; This is a throwback episode u can skip it. GONNA BE SHORT!_

"Mark. Could you stop doing that?" Addison says, not in a good mood. Part of being a surgeon was getting used to be a morning person, but when Addison got annoyed in the morning, she knew it wasn't going to be a good day.

Mark stopped squeezing his water bottle, the noise was so unpleasant. "Thank you." Arizona said.

"I really hope Richard will not bury us alive." Derek says.

"If He's burying some alive that's you, he will not kill his best neonatal surgeon and OB/GYN." Addison teases her husband. Arizona was driving, Mark by her side and the married couple on the back of the car.

"I hope Bailey didn't tell him how drunk we were." Derek says, hopeful.

"Don't get too attached to that idea, I'm so sure this will end like on med school." Mark says with a laugh.

"Those were different times." Addison laughs along with Mark.

_Back on med school..._

_"Do you think Webber will notice?" Mark asks._

_"What? Our absence our whole night and morning shift? I don't see why he would." Addison replied to Mark's stupid question, full of sarcasm. _

_"You are so mean." Naomi giggles._

_"She's cute!" Derek says, defending Addison, they are all hungover but somehow manage to enter the hospital._

_"Shut up, Shepherd." Addison said playfully, hitting his arm, giving him a warm smile._

_"I'm so lost." Sam says._

_"The struggle is real." Naomi agrees._

_"Im surprised I'm alive." Addison says._

_"Ha, funny." Derek teases Addison._

_"You two Can stop acting like you aren't in love with each other or haven't slept together, we all know how naughty you get, you confessed everything." Mark says, while they all get inside of the lockers room, their sixth month of being interns was cool, stressing but cool._

_"What? Did I say anything last night?" Addison asks Naomi._

_"Yeah you did. And we all told you, including Derek, that you would regret." Naomi laughs._

_"What did I say?" Addison asks, worried._

_"To be honest, I was so drunk I don't really remember." Naomi laughed. _

_Richard Webber entered the room, all interns looked at him knowing he was going to yell at them all._

_"Sorry, Doctor Webber." Addison says by the nowhere. There's silence._

_"Better to see you all in my office in less than ten minutes." Webber leaves. Everyone freaks out._

_End_

**_HI. Well, this chapter is worth for nothing, I just needed to add something, this is literally the shittiest chapter and the shortest chapter I've ever wrote._**


	12. Chapter 12

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 12_**

Derek kisses Addison that morning, waking her up.

"Sorry, I woke you up." Derek said, asking for her forgiveness.

"Shh, kiss me again and I forgive you." Addison chuckled still sleepy.

Derek kissed her. "I love you." He muttered on her ear.

"I love you more." She said, kissing him deeply. The light of the little bit of sun coming through the curtains.

* * *

"I'm much more better now at least." Callie explains Addison.

"Well I'm very happy to hear that. Hey, did you know that Arizona Robbins is a lesbian? I didn't have idea. I think it's very brave that she's not afraid to say it." Addison gives Callie her opinion over lunch.

"Oh... ohhh. I did hear something." Callie tries to act surprised. Addison drinks her water. "You are in a good mood."

"I had morning sex. But then I got sick."

_Earlier that morning..._

_"Wait." Addison says, breaking a passionate kiss both were enjoying._

_"What's up?" Derek looks worried at her pale face._

_"Remember me not to order Asian food in the middle of the night." Addison says quickly, stepping up from the bed and running into the bathroom._

_Derek looks worried at the bathroom, he sees his wife's red hair, and hears her throw up. He stands up from the bed and goes inside of the bathroom as fast as he can to check her. He holds her hair._

_Back to reality..._

"I see." Callie laughed at her honesty.

"Anyways, I'm so pissed Rutherford has been sick lately. I really wanted to have a check up." Addison says, giving a bite of her sandwich.

"I'm sorry to hear that, maybe another doctor?"

"Nah... I trust her. I guess I will just have to wait until she's finally back." Addison says.

"I think so." Callie laughs a little.

"You know what's weird?"

"What?"

"I ate a banana for breakfast, _breakfast._"

"Wow, that's totally wild, I guess?" Callie laughs.

"You don't get it, I don't like breakfast."

"Okay?"

"Plus I threw up, but I was starving still."

"Sorry Addison, I gotta go. I wish I could keep discussing your 'breakfast issues'. This badass ortho goddess has a surgery" Callie smiles.

"See you." Addison says goodbye to Callie. Arizona Robbins goes to find a spot next to Addison after few minutes Calliope is totally gone.

"What were you two talking about?" Arizona says, sitting down.

"Not much. Why?" Addison asks, sighing.

"Doesn't really matter, just wondering. Hey, i heard about Derek's surgery. You must be proud, he took that tumor out of that girl's brain in seven exact minutes." Arizona says in excitement.

"Yeah, he's the best, you know." Addison says with a smile. She loves her husband and she's proud of his talent.

"I have a sick kid with cardio problems... it's sad." Arizona thinks about it for a while.

"I'm so stressed." Addison says out loud. "Sorry, that was... that was rude."

"No, it's okay. I'm stressed too. To be honest right now I would like to be home eating ice cream and watching Marley and me." Arizona jokes.

"Great, now I really would like to do that." Addison laughs.

"What? Sad movie and ice cream?" Arizona chuckles.

"Yeah, it's a perfect plan." Addison says, moving her hair away from her face.

"It's depressing." Arizona looks up to Addison.

"It's fun." Addison chuckles.

"Have you heard of Rutherford lately? There's a patient that's been looking for her the whole day. Apparently she's a popular one." Arizona shares gossip with Addison.

"She has the chicken pox, or at least she's recovering from it. I'm not quite sure. I mean, dealing with a disease by yourself isn't that easy." Addison informs Arizona.

"Yeah, I think so. Must be hard not to have a partner. But what am I saying, I'm single as a Pringle!" Arizona laughs slightly.

"Who's her patient? Maybe I can help her."

"Someone called Dina Ross, I think."

"Where do you think I can find her? I have free time until four."

"She's a young one, like seventeen I think."

"She's a lucky one, a world class surgeon will attend her." Addison winks at Arizona. "Are you gonna eat that brownie?"

* * *

Addison enters the consult room checking her new patient's chart, happy to help someone while she doesn't have anything to do. Mother and daughter both seem bored, and the skinny blonde teenager seems much more worried than anyone inside of the room. Addison gives both a tiny smile, practically trying to tell Dina, the teenager, to not feel worried or stressed about anything, it was a sign to say that she was a good OB/GYN and she was in good and talented hands.

"Hello, you must be Dina, right? I'm doctor Montgomery-Shepherd. Doctor Rutherford is sick, sadly, so i'm covering her today." Addison explains.

"Yeah... What's wrong with Kelly?" The teenager asks. She used her name, they must know each other since years ago.

"She's recovering from chicken pox. You two know Kelly from the past, or...? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked" Addison laughs a little, leaving the chart on the table next to the bed. "It's not my place to ask."

"I'm Nadine, Dina's mom. Yeah, well, Kelly was one of my bests friends before she moved from New York, my daughter and I used to hang out with her a lot, before she left her home and decided on being the most amazing OB/GYN she could be" Nadine laughs a little, remembering the old times with her dear friend. "So sad to know she's sick."

"Yes, I am sad too! She's my OB too, so I'm kind of damaged because of her absence" Addison jokes, making both blonde women grin a little. "I might be pregnant and I still can't check up!" Addison jokes, she knew she wasn't pregnant. She was in a good mood and her patients seemed to be too low energy. "Anyway, what brings you here, Dina?"

"If you are, congrats" The mother laughs a little "The issue is her birth control, she doesn't manage her periods, she doesn't remember the dates, she ignores it completely." The mother answers for the daughter, Addison moves her eyes from looking at the weak teenager to her naive and annoying mother.

"Okay... We can work on that. Nadine, do you mind waiting outside? Nothing personal, I just prefer to work on this with Dina... so I can concentrate on her version of the story of her body, could you please leave us both alone?" Addison asks kindly, if Nadine gets mad that would be stupid, Addison was being way too kind and gentle to be hated by her, specially when she's a world class neonatal surgeon that's taking the time to treat her daughter.

"But, why?" The mother asks, looking confused.

"Mom, go starbucks... buy some muffins for Kevin and Jeremy, for their birthday party, I will be fine here with Doctor Montgomery. I promise." The teenager tells her mother, almost begging her to leave her alone.

"Oh, okay. I will be quick. Thank you doctor Montgomery - Shepherd." The mother said, Addison gave her a nod, inviting her to leave the room. Nadine was gone, now Addison and Dina were alone finally.

"Helicopter mom?" Addison jokes, sitting on the feet of the bed next to her patient.

"Yeah. She worries too much it gets creepy."

"I understand you. Kind of, actually. My mother was a much more 'have good grades and don't have sex with strangers' mom." Addison joked, she was trying to light up the mood in the room. "So, Dina, tell me what's up? How old are you?"

"Sixteen, almost seventeen."

"You're a grow up!" Addison laughs, Dina smiles a little and then the smile fades away. "Why are you here, Dina?"

"What my mom said, I don't have a good control birth... I- I'm scared i might be pregnant." The teenager confesses, rubbing her own arm on self disappointment.

"When was the last time you had sex and when was the last time you had your period?" Addison asks, listening. She's serious now.

"I had my period at the start of the last month and I had sex at the very start of this month, the first friday to be exact. The thing is that my period should have come days before i had sex" The skinny blonde girl says.

"Okay, and did you have sex earlier than your last time?"

"Some days after my period ended" She says in a terrified voice.

"What did you tell your mom?"

"Do you need to know that so you can add it to my chart?"

"No, it is something i should know so I don't screw your relationship with your mother." Addison gives her a supportive smile.

"I told her that I'm still a virgin, I had to swear for my grandmother." Dina chuckles a little "I told her i missed my period and I didn't know what was going on."

"Any nauseas? Tender breasts?"

"Not at all."

"Okay... let's check you up." Addison says seriously, standing up from the bed, letting the girl get comfortable, the poor girl is obviously shaking, and Addison can't help but think how hard must be for teenagers this young to have kids.

Dina was comfortable on the bed, Addison without wanting to punched her chest herself, trying to open a box of new latex gloves. They really had some kind of plastic smell she disgusted at this moment, first time in her whole life that she complained about the smell of latex gloves. "Ouch" she murmured, she couldn't rub her boobs in front of a patient, obviously, so she tried to evade the pain for a little while and then managed to start with the procedure. Addison smiled at the teenager. Dina seemed confused, worried, stressed. "Don't you worry, you are not pregnant." Dina nods and smiles.

"Then what is it?" Dina asked, wiping the gel out of her low belly.

"Sometimes when you are a teenager and you have an active sex life or you are into a lot of stress over when is your period coming, or school matters, and others... our body 'blocks', do you get what i'm saying?" Addison smiles at her patient turning off the ultra sound machine.

"Oh, okay. I was so lost." Dina says, with a sight of relieved.

"Believe me or not I also get lost and I'm an OB." Addison laughs. "I spend so much time on surgeries or at the hospital working that I forget about checking myself up much more often." Addison smiles at the girl, she's happy Dina seems much more relaxed by now.

"That must be crazy. I realize easily." Dina shares, pulling her shirt down as it used to be earlier.

"Me too, but sometimes my schedule gets so crazy that all I can think about is going home and taking a long nap."

"And sex with your husband, right?" Dina laughs, Addison laughs and nods. "You're married right? I mean... the Shepherd last name..."

"Yeah, yeah... I am, happily married." Addison smiles thinking about her charming husband. There's a silence. "Well, I'll go give back your chart, be patient, your period will come eventually. Mark the dates on some application on your phone, or a calendar..." Addison stops talking, has she ever touched a calendar in the last few months? Not even once? She looks worried, even pale.

"Doctor Montgomery, are you okay?" Dina asks.

"Yeah, I am... sorry. I was just... thinking." Addison says. "If you need anything don't hesitate on coming back, maybe the next time Kelly will be around." Addison takes her stinky latex gloves off.

"If I ever come back, I think I will ask for you. You are nice, I like you." The blondie smiles at her.

"Sounds good to me." Addison answers filled by joy. "See you soon, Dina. Take care, okay?"

"I will."

"Promise?" Addison asks, offering her hand to the teenager.

"Promise." Dina shacked her hand and kissed her cheek, Addison left the room.

* * *

Addison didn't know for sure what she was about to do. She did, but she was not quite sure what was going on in her mind. She was an OB/GYN, stealing a pregnancy test from a hospital couldn't be that difficult, it wasn't weird to see her with a pregnancy test on her hand, after all she had to tell women everyday that they were expecting babies, she had to carry those in her hands eventually.

But now it was so weird. She was about to finally borrow some tests when her husband spotted her at the nurses station in the middle of the pregnancy section of the hospital, where she worked. It wasn't that weird to see him there, it was the same hospital, his wife was there 24/7.

"Hey." Addison greets him, kissing his lips.

"Hi. How are you?" Derek asks her. She smiles.

"I'm fine. What about you?" Addison asks, she can't stop smiling at him, _why is he so wonderful!?_

"I'm good, came by to check on you, and also, I'm afraid you'll have to go home alone, I'm super sorry. I just realized I can't move surgeries for tomorrow I thought I could but I'll be home at nine, I promise." Derek says, holding her hands. Eyes on them, nurses, interns, doctors...

"Oh, okay. It's okay. I'll see you home."

"Maybe we can order Something healthier so you don't throw up?"

"I'd love that." _I also threw up this morning, another symptom._

"Good. See you then." He smiles at her.

"See you." She kisses him goodbye and watches him go. _What was I doing?_ She concentrates again and takes five pregnancy tests. _Probably just a false alarm _she keeps telling herself. She takes a bottle of water from the nurse station and walks away quickly, looking around in case someone is staring at her.

No one.

She gets inside of the first bathroom she sees. She locks the door and takes a deep breath. "Okay... okay... Addison, chill." She tells herself, closing her eyes, resting her back agains the door, terrified.

Yes, she is terrified. She's shaking even. _What if I'm pregnant... am I going to be a good mom? _She's insecure about this whole mess.

She's been waiting for this to happen to her and she doesn't know how to react about it. She imagined this being much more casual.

The drinks from the bottle. She hates herself because of drinking a little bit of wine last night over dinner with Derek. But she didn't know. She didn't realize. Now she does know. Now she does realize.

She sits in there. She just does. "Two lines. Two lines. Two lines." She whispers herself.

_I am so crazy, why the hell am I talking to myself?! This must be just a false alarm and I'm freaking out, I mean we have been trying but I never thought I would feel this nervous. _

She waits. She checks the hour. Two minutes have passed.

_Be patient._

She checks the first test, no lines. She planned on trying them all if it was necessary.

"Oh my God." Addison says. One of the tests starts to show a little line, she looks away and holds tears on her eyes. _Not the moment to be emotional, Addison!_ She tells herself. She sits on the floor for a minute, taking deep breaths. Four minutes have passed, she's surprised she's survived them. She's been thinking how to tell Derek, just say it in the middle of a conversation? Bring it up as something casual? Make it obvious?

She checks the time and hesitates on standing up and checking the test. She stands up, looking away; she adjusts her black skirt and red hair. She takes a deep breath and turns away.

Positive.

Positive.

_Positive._

It's positive!

Two lines.

Two.

_Not one, two._

_I am pregnant._

Addison dials a familiar number on her phone while enjoying a warm bubble bath back home after hours of finding out about those exciting news.

"Nae?" Addison asks.

"Addie, Hi!" Naomi says surprised.

"Hi. What's up? What are you doing?" Addison asks, she needs to know her friend is available to talk before saying anything.

"Not much... I'm kind of busy actually." Naomi says sincerely. Addison rolls her eyes. _Wow, I'm moody too._

"Doing what?" Addison asks, decided to bother her.

"Nothing." Naomi replies simply.

"Tell me."

"Addison"

"Can I know?" Addison does a sad tone.

"It doesn't matter." Naomi laughs, knowing Addison is acting that tone in an exaggerated way.

"Can you tell your best friend what are you doing?" Addison insists. Naomi is the one rolling her eyes now. She rests on the chair of her office.

"Manipulative hoe." Naomi says.

"I am the manipulative hoe? You are the flirty whore then." Addison laughs, playing with the bubbles around her left hand, while she puts her phone on speaker mode, leaving it near to the bath, on a table.

"No, that's you also." Naomi says.

"Of course not." Addison snaps.

"Yeah, you totally are." Naomi laughs.

"I'm so not a flirty whore." Addison says.

"You so are"

"No." Addison laughs at their silly conversation.

"I'm shopping online." Naomi sighs and tells the truth.

"I knew it!" Addison giggles softly.

"Anyway, Addie, what's going on?" Naomi asks, getting serious.

"What are you trying to say?" Addison somehow tries to evade the theme. She can't even believe it still, her smile hasn't fade away.

"We haven't talked in a couple of weeks. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." Addison says calmly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Why are you calling?" Naomi asks now, she knows something is going on, Addison called for reasons, she wasn't that much of a sentimental person to anyone specially, she could be open with Derek and sometimes with her friends, but it was something even unreal on her. Weird. Rare.

Addison doesn't know how to respond.

"Addison!" Naomi tried to make her wake up.

"Yes?"

"What's going on?" She starts to sound worried, Addison feels sorry for making her bestie feel bad.

"I promised I would call." Addison says, trying to make Naomi reflect about their last call.

"I don't get you." Naomi answers sincerely. Addison rolls her eyes and smirks.

"Naomi, I called."

"You did..." Naomi takes a time to think.

After a long silence, "Nae, are you there?" Addison asks, feeling stupid, maybe she had to go.

"Yeah. But I don't understand anything." Naomi laughs. Addison laughs with her.

"You don't really know? Any ideas?"

"None."

"I'm... you know." Addison says. She doesn't want to say it out loud. Something tells her that once she says it, everything changes.

"No way!" Naomi gets it now.

"I swear."

"Did you tell Derek?" Naomi asks excited as hell.

"Haven't had an opportunity, i found out a couple of hours ago."

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know. I'm so surprised I can barely walk without thinking I am carrying a human being." Addison gets cheesy and sentimental easily now.

"I hear water moving, copying Pretty Woman scenes?" Naomi laughs.

"Actually, yes!" Addison laughs with her best friend. She really would like her to be there, not in the bath with her, but, in Seattle, she misses hanging out with her, coffee with her, gossip, movies, having a shoulder besides Derek.

A woman in her life.

"I miss you Nae." Addison says, after minutes of them laughing at the pretty woman joke.

"Me too Addie, I'll go visit you soon, I will not forgive myself if I don't meet my little niece or nephew."

"Naomi, it's a fetus still, remember?" Addison laughs and at the same time tries not to tear up at her words.

"Yes, but it is a human being, that will be with us all in nine months." Naomi says, sounding a little sarcastic. "When are you telling Derek?"

"I don't know. I'm... it's delicate. Something... delicate." She evades the fact she aborted Mark's child and stays strong.

* * *

After her bath, Addison got into some pajamas and had a great idea. She knew how to say it. She just knew it. She was nervous and she wanted it to be perfect, she wanted to make something special, but the gift of a kid was already something special so it didn't really matter anymore.

"Hey!" Derek enters the apartment, noisy, as always. "I'm home."

Addison gets out of the master bedroom and stares at him, she smiles. _You will be an amazing father._ She should just say it. She's wearing one of Derek's sweaters and panties as her pajamas. She's crossing her arms over her chest.

"Hi." She almost whispers.

"What's going on?" He asks, taking his coat off. Leaving his coat on the closet next to the enter of the apartment. He starts to worry. She's so calm. Seems like she's melancholy, but happy. He stares at his legs for a moment, but deletes the idea of sex instantly, she's quiet and she looks tired.

"Derek..." She can't talk. She can't say it. She really wants to, she's almost shaking. But she's not breaking apart, she's smiling still, staring at him. Her arms still crossed.

"Addison, what's up? What is it?" Derek walks over her, tries to hug her or just hold her, but she won't accept a hug, she's sore and she doesn't know if she should tell him now. _Should I?_

"I..." She tries to talk, she looks away. She's emotional. He kisses her cheek.

"Addison... are you okay?" He's worrying. Deeply. He knows she's somehow being affected by something.

"I'm sorry." She says simply, letting him hug her now. "I know I said clean slate, but I think about it." The thoughts were on her mind, she felt guilty because of changing the theme this way, but maybe it's time to vent again.

_I'll wait. An appointment. I'll calm down. Take my time. And then we tell Derek. Yes. _We _tell Derek. _She tells herself, walking inside of her room, quietly, she sits on the bed. He sits next to her, wrapping an arm across her back, caressing her arm.

"I made something awful. I broke your heart and I also broke mine at the same time. I betrayed you. Karma kicked my ass after that, we know that." Addison laughs a little but keeps her hote serious. Derek is not stopping her.

Addison takes a deep breath. "I feel awful. I made you hate me. I always wonder what would have happened if I never felt loved by Mark Sloan."

"What are you saying?"

"You weren't there. That's what I mean. He lied and told me he loved me. He convinced me with the time, you weren't home, my husband wasn't there. You stopped loving me and he started loving me. I was alone and confused."

"Addison..."

"No, please don't Addison me. I blamed you for what happened to our marriage, Derek. That was me. I was the one who cheated. And to be honest I'm terrified I will ever commit another mistake and I will drown." Derek caresses her neck.

"I'm afraid of losing everything I have, because I still love you. I love you. I- I want you. I feel so horrible. I can't help but still think and remember about the night you threw me out of our house. I remember laying on the stairs the whole night, crying, with my wet hair. I used to blame you because of that pain, but it was all me. It was karma being a bitch." Addison was venting. This was something she wanted to talk about, too. Maybe it was a way she didn't know she was using for ignoring telling him the pregnancy news.

"It was my fault also."

"No, it was mine. All the time." She leans and rests her head on his shoulder.

"Addison..."

"Seriously, I slept with Mark. I touched him. He touched me. I feel dirty. Dirty still. My soul is heavy. My heart pounds." Addison says, a tear runs down her cheek. "I'm telling you this because I understand your pain, it also got me pain."

"Addie. Clean slate. Everything is okay. Now we are okay. Karma can't bring us down this time. What love can make us do is much more powerful that some superstition." Derek says, stroking her hair.

"Clean slate? I- I really want a clean slate. But I'm so afraid i will screw this up again." Addison closes her eyes and sniffs.

"What love made us do, remember? This is what love made us do, we ended up crazy in love at the end of the war, didn't we?" Derek says smiling.

"Derek I love your metaphors." She laughs a little.

"We will be fine." Derek assures her, rubbing her arm still.

"What love made us do... I like that." She says, her voice sounds highly much more cheerful.

"Me too." He says, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Kelly?!" Addison smiles as soon as she sees the blonde woman inside of her office, working on some paperwork. The blonde woman looks up with a light smile at Addison, who's on the door of the office, thrilled to see her back.

"Addison! Hi." She says, standing up from her chair, approaching to the redhead to hug her as a much more proper greet.

"It's been a while without you around, all okay?" Addison asks, concerned about her OB/GYN... well, her friend.

"Yeah well, chicken pox is contagious, I did wrong on babysitting my neighbor's kids." Kelly laughs, resting a hand on her hip, gracefully. Addison enters the room.

"I love how positive you are!" Addison cheers her up a little bit more. Rutherford nods and smiles.

"How are you?" Kelly asks, giving Addison a cheeky smile. Addison couldn't help but grin at the way she was always so positive, strong and reckless... _also slutty_, but she was always standing tall, after all she's been through.

"I'm good. I- I heard you were back and i decided to come here to prove it myself. It's true. You are finally back." Addison says, letting her hands rest on the pockets of her white '_doctor' _robe.

"Good to know someone missed me." Kelly giggles a little, moving her head slightly, so her hair can go to the back of her ear automatically.

"Yeah. About that, I need you..." Addison seems worried, excited and confused; Kelly can tell.

"A consult?" Kelly asks in concern, resting her hands on her pockets just as Addison was doing.

"Something like it." Addison grins a little, looks away and scratches her nose a bit, maybe just an anxiety nervous tick.

"'_Like it_?'" Kelly asks, referring to Addison answer. _"Like it."_ Okay, it was clear. Still blurry...

"Yeah, it's - it's for me." Addison smiles.

"Oh. You need a check up?"

"No, I need an ultrasound actually." Now everything was clear inside of the blonde woman's head.

"Oh my God. When did you find out?!" Kelly asks in excitement, happily, joyful.

"A couple days ago." Addison smiles. Kelly takes her hands out of her pockets and hugs her redhead friend.

"Super happy for you!" She said in content.

After two more hugs, Kelly congratulating her again, a little laugh and a smile, both went into an exam room. Addison was nervous and she felt guilty for not telling Derek about this whole mess. _What mess?!? This is a miracle!!_ She was happy but, she didn't know how to act. It was new. It was happiness. She really wanted this with Derek, she knew she wanted this the first moment she knew _Addison and Derek _were meant to be. And _are _meant to be. Everything can turn beautifully perfect... and then her vision starts to get blurry...

Derek's hand falls on Addison's cheek without wanting to that morning, she wakes up.

"Oh dear God." _It was all a dream. I'm not pregnant. I'm not sore. It was a dream._

"What?" Derek says sleepily, waking up little by little, barely opening his eyes, seeing how Addison was catching her breath and was touching her breasts. "What the hell are you doing?"

"My boobs don't hurt." Addison says serious. Derek can't help but laughs against his pillow.

"What are you trying to say?" He says, chuckling.

"I had a crazy dream." Addison says, smiling. _Why is this a relief?_

"You did?" Derek caresses her arm.

"It was insane." Addison takes a deep breath.

"What was it about?"

"It was- it was weird. I don't know, I just... it felt so real." Addison says, getting much more comfortable so she can look directly at Derek.

"I was also having a dream." Derek says, getting comfortable, too. Placing a hand on his wife's hip, resting his head on his own arm, looking up to her.

"Yeah? What was it about?" Addison grins.

"I don't remember anymore. You woke me up, acting terrified." Derek laughs.

"Shut up!" Addison hits his hand on her hip, playfully.

"Auch." He says dramatically.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, sleeping beauty. I was also having a dream but your hand fell on my face, so you woke me up, it wasn't me who woke you up, it was you after all."

"You're blaming me?" He asks; caressing her back, with a smile.

"I am." She smiles back.

"You are?"

"Yes." Addison nods.


	13. Chapter 13

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 13_**

_Thank you for the reviews! They are much appreciated. If you have any suggestions let me know!!! And yes, last chapter was all a dream Addison had... also! Doctor Kelly Rutherford is a character I invented. Sadly, she doesn't exist. And yes, I imagine like she's portrayed by the one and only Kelly Rutherford, hahah! Anyways, hope you will enjoy this chapter even if it's a little slow and boring..._

"Okay I get your point. It's a secret until you say it's not anymore." Derek says, rolling his eyes, entering their apartment after a long day of surgeries and sad news.

"Exactly." Addison nods, he helps her to take her coat off. She feels bad he does all of that for her.

"It will be too obvious, Addison." Derek says, serious still, tired after a long day of surgeries, consults, and having to argue with nurses over '_why didn't you write that on her chart before you forgot it?_' things or... _'why did you offer me a job if I'm not the _ideal_ one right now?!' _Arguments.

"It will not!" Addison says, giggling a little at Derek's pessimism. She's trying her best on making him smile a little. He was acting moody. Every doctor had a bad day at work, even the best brain surgeon.

"Yes it will, we both know that." Derek says, placing her coat on the closet next to the entrance. He left his there too. She sits on the couch. No emotions on his face.

"I just wanna be kind." Addison says, taking her shoes off.

"I know. It's just..." He rans a hand through his hair.

_He's stressed._

"What? You think it's a bad idea I'm preparing a... a little something for Kelly?" Addison says, looking up to her husband, with an insulted face to give it much more effect. She knows it's not the best idea to mess up with him right now, but it's a habit she can't stop doing. Twelve years of marriage could do that to a person.

"Yeah" he nods sadly, he sits next to her on the couch. She rolls her eyes and holds his hand, whatever he says, she's not going to be mad at him, at least not today.

"Derek, it's something simple. Not a gala or a surprise party. I just want her to enjoy her birthday." Addison says.

"I know, and I love that you want to do that. That's incredibly sweet. But, if I were her I would want to spend my night drinking alone. Besides, at our age no one really wants to celebrate birthdays, it's like a _'one year left until your death_' message." Derek says sincerely.

"Derek, you don't know her. Birthdays are important. She's alone in Seattle! She doesn't have a family in here. The love of her life left her years ago, she's a surgeon that has to deal with tons of stress like us, can you please just say '_I think that's a great idea, honey'_ and then kiss me on the lips so I can feel good with myself?" Addison squeezes his hand.

"Okay." He nods and looks at her. "Sorry For acting like an ass." He rolls his eyes.

"It's okay. You had a rough day." Addison pats his shoulder and rans her hands trough his arm down to squeezing his hand gently, she wants to comfort him, she's sad he had a bad day.

"Yeah." He nods.

"And by the kiss on the lips I meant to say make out with me." She giggles, trying to light up the mood.

"I think it's a great idea, honey." He smiles, pecking her lips.

"Thank you." She grins. He kisses her, softly and sweetly.

"Are you hungry? Wanna order something or... do you want Chef Shepherd to cook for you tonight?" Derek says, breaking the kiss, pulling her closer, making her laugh.

_He's acting happier._

"I am hungry, and I do want you to cook. But don't expect me to assist you in the kitchen." Addison says half serious, half kidding.

"Honey, you may be a great surgeon, I can allow you to get inside of my OR, but I will never allow you to get inside of my kitchen." He laughs, kissing her forehead. She pulls him a little away from her, opens her mouth in a speechless way, trying to act dramatic.

"I'm not _that_ bad. Once I made homemade bread, and my coffee is good." She says, pointing at him with her finger.

"That bread was good. And I do love your coffee." He nods.

"Happy to hear that."

"You are a bad cook, still." He laughs.

_He laughed._

"I know. Just cook for me, please?" She begs, he pecks her lips and caresses her cheek.

"What?" She asks curious as to why he looks at her so concentrated.

"Thank you." Derek says looking at her beautiful half hazel half blue eyes.

"Why?" She grins, wondering why, but she also shows concern.

"I had a rough day. You made it brighter." He smiles.

"Derek..." she looks away, blushing. She loves him so much and she enjoys those compliments that aren't necessary but made her feel loved.

"You made it brighter, Addison." Derek repeats. She doesn't know how to respond, she just manages to hug him. Tightly.

_I made his day brighter... _Addison thought to herself.

He really had a crappy day.

Part of being a doctor was having to deal with the family of the patient, having to deliver the sad news after an non-successful surgery, the need of getting attached to your patients so they can trust you, accepting to be called names by patients that are mostly single women in the end of their thirties... it gets sad with the time.

Derek was encouraged on saving someone's live that Thursday morning. Linda Lodge. A thirteen year old kid. She was definitely not one of those single women. She had black hair, green eyes that sadly weren't that admired because of the glass of her glasses and she had a sad smile all the time she had to rest on that bed before her surgery.

She had so many things to live before death. So many things. She never got to fall in love. Linda have been admitted there since two weeks ago, Derek and her used to talk bad about Alex Karev, sometimes Mark, and he could use that little girl as a friend.

Addison liked her. It was touching to see Derek having a connection with a kid. It was something she wanted him to have but with their own children. That girl used to tell her that her outfits looked good on her, that she looked better wearing pink/salmon scrubs than blue ones.

Linda used to bother Derek with some jokes sometimes when their parents weren't there. "You look three hours much more older than the last time I saw you. That was three hours ago."

Derek liked her.

But, he screwed up while operating. He thought he could go much more further. He couldn't. Trying to take the whole mass of the tumor wasn't a good idea. It wasn't. Derek wanted to save that poor girl.

No one deserves that kind of tumor at that age.

Linda could not make it through surgery. Derek couldn't tell the parents himself, he felt devastes, he was too heartbroken to even say a word during his whole day at work. A nurse had to deliver the news. He felt ashamed.

Addison was sad too, it became a habit to go check on the kid, knowing her husband was going to be there too. She stood next to Derek the whole day, bringing him juju, hugging him when he needed to, and looking at him while being far away from him, knowing he also needed space.

But he was better now. Or that's what he tried to act like. Addison held him.

"Are you sure you are okay? You don't seem that okay..." Addison says, breaking the hug, looking into Derek's eyes.

_He's hurt still._

"I'm fine."

"Derek, I know that Linda was special for you. I could see it."

"Addison please don't..."

"She was a warrior the whole time. From all that time looking for a brain surgeon like you, until the eternity. Because you may have lost someone, Derek, but it was going to happen anyways. Humans are not inmortal."

"Addison."

"I know it hurts you, and I'm sorry I'm saying it this way, it's not the best way, but I have to tell you anyways... she's in peace now. She's not suffering, no more suffering. She's happy up there or wherever she is, she's happy."

"I don't want to talk about this."

"We will talk about this. Don't avoid your feelings, stop running away."

"I'm not running away." Derek says.

"You always run away and that's wrong." She steps up from the couch.

"I don't know what you expect, sometimes things go wrong, Linda did not make it, but that doesn't mean you didn't do your best. I know you, I've been knowing you for much more than just twelve years, you are hurt. Don't hide it. Don't act like you aren't. Just, vent!" She says, trying to finally open his eyes. She wants him to be a better person to himself.

"I don't want to talk about Linda right now. It's been a rough day. I'm tired. I'm sick of having to give everyone an explaination about my feelings. Even Mark patted my back today. I don't want to talk about this or _her_." Derek steps up too, yelling at Addison, not agreeing with what she just said.

"Do not raise your voice to me, I did nothing. I'm telling you facts. You do run away. You do get attached. You do feel hurt. Stop lying to yourself!"

"I do not lie to myself."

"You do. Everyday. Every time there's a chance that you could ever be hurt, you lie. You run away."

"Do you blame me, Addison? I have always had to show myself strong. Always. I grew up with four sisters and I had to deal with Amelia hating me for not saving my father that day. I am a locked door, so are you."

"Locked door?" She crosses her arms on her chest.

"Yes, a locked door. You don't show your feelings." Derek repeats. She shows herself angry.

"And you do? So i don't show my feelings but you do? I always show my feelings. I'm showing you my feelings. I have been showing you my feelings today, yesterday, the whole month, the whole year, our whole marriage, my whole life. I am not a locked door, you are. You run away, you always do."

"This is not about Linda anymore, isn't it?" Derek asks raising his voice.

"I guess it is not." She says, walking inside of their room, making her way to the bathroom, where she locks herself. After few minutes the sound of the water coming out of the shower fills the apartment.

Derek feels bad for such a silly argument. Maybe Addison was right, he did run away. He was also human and sometimes felt too intimidated like crashing against all of that pain. He goes inside of their room and walks over the bathroom, he doesn't open the door, he just stays in there, standing, hearing the shower. But he can also hear Addison sobbing. She's not taking a shower, she's on the floor crying, the shower is just a distraction so no one can hear her.

He knocks once.

Nothing, she keeps herself silent.

He knocks one more time.

"Leave me alone." A tiny voice coming out from there.

"Addison..."

"Go away." She says, simply. Sniffing.

"No, I'm not running away." He says, opening the door.

_Ironic._

She's next to the shower. Her head resting on her knees. She's embracing her knees. Addison looks up to Derek, a tear is running down her cheek.

Derek turns the shower off, sitting next to his wife, he's sad she's hurt.

"I will not quit this time. Okay? I'm sorry I raised my voice." He says, opening his hand so she can grab it.

She holds his hand gently and looks into Derek's eyes.

"I'm so sorry for what happened to Linda." She says sincerely, he nods and gives her an apologetic smile, wiping a tear away from her cheek with his thumb.

"It's okay. As you said, she's happy now. She's resting." He says.

"She really is." She says.

"You deserve better than this, Addie. You don't deserve me." Derek says looking down. She rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Shut up and hug me, Derek." She says sad still, she hates fighting, she hates the conflict.

"Will you still love me even when I get annoying and stubborn?" He hugs her, she rubs his back. She's not the hurt one here, he was the one hurt.

"That a silly question, you silly. I will always love you, despite what kind of asshole you turn into." She smiles sadly at him, after breaking their hug. Both in there, next to the shower of their bathroom.

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. Thank you for making my life brighter." She quotes him some how and rests her head on his shoulder. He smiles, his hand goes up to her head, stroking her hair.

Silence. Their connection again. She feels his fingertips on her hair. He feels her hand's pulse. And he feels comfortable in there. The floor is cold, but they keep each other warm. Suddenly she starts to stand up, he looks at her while she does so.

"Get up. You need to sleep." She says simply, offering him a hand so he can stand up. He takes the hand and stands up quickly. She looks herself at the mirror, moving her hair backwards, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes.

Derek's arms wrap her. She opens her eyes and finds Derek's head next to hers, he caresses her torso. She lays in there, in the support of his arms.

Both smile at each other through the mirror, he kisses her temple, she closes her eyes. It feels like home.

"You arent just brightness, you are the light of my life." He whispers on her ear. She opens her eyes grinning at him through the mirror again, moving her head she finds his lips centimeters from hers.

"I love you." She says simply. She kisses him, resting a hand on his cheek. His arms still around her, holding her, not letting her go.

"I love you too." Derek says as soon as they break the kiss.

"I'm exhausted." She sighs, looking at the mirror again.

Derek decides to breaks the embrace, she takes her make up off while he gets on his pajamas. He opens the bed for her and brings water to her nightstand.

Addison finds herself lost where to go when she finds her empty bed completely empty. _Where didid he go?_ She can smell something good, food. Totally food. As soon as she gets out of their room she can see Derek on the kitchen preparing something for them.

She walks over there.

"What are you doing?" She asks sweetly.

"Grilled cheese. I didn't want to use too many things, too much work on cleaning them later, right? I also can guess you are tired, so, this takes five minutes to be ready." Derek explains.

"I see. Thank you, honey." She appreciates the gesture.

"You are welcome." He says, kissing her cheek.

"I want you to talk to me about today, still." She grows seriously. He looks at her a bit sad and checks the grilled cheese, ignoring anything that could come from that kind of theme.

"Later. Now, you eat and I enjoy seeing you enjoy it." He takes the plate next to him and places the grilled cheese on it. Derek turns around to face Addison, who's smiling, with her arms crossed over her chest.

"Fine." She says, taking the plate from his hands.

"You are still wearing clothes." He says. "The cheese It's too hot now, leave it here for now, go change."

"Why?"

"Pajamas are comfortable for grilled cheesy and movies, work clothes aren't." He explains.

"We're watching a movie?!"

"Breakfast at Tiffany's. Just because you like it, besides I'm in the mood to see you smile."

"Okay I'll go change." She nods.

Later that night after watching _breakfast at Tiffany's,_ enjoyed each other and kept each other warm, both went to sleep. But both couldn't just fall asleep. Their argument earlier was still inside of their minds.

"I agreed on talking about it... so..." Derek says in the middle of the dark. His hand is now on her shoulder. Both know there's tension between them, they aren't spooning or kissing each other until reaching sleep. Or even touching. They are still thinking about that whole mess.

"Right." She says sleepy, taking a deep breath.

"I couldn't help but think about that girl as... our future daughter, if we ever have a daughter."

"What are you saying?"

"Linda was so... humble. She was so nice and good to be with. I'm sure that if she wouldn't have died today, she would have found someone to marry her that would really see and appreciate her worth. She was one of those humans that the world almost doesn't have. Something like... Vivian Carlsmith or you. That light." Derek starts venting.

"Vivian? God, Vivian." Addison says.

"What's up with Vivian?" Derek says, squeezing her shoulder a little. His touch is warm, she enjoys it.

"Nothing. I just- it remembered me a lot." Addison explains.

"Yeah... Linda reminded me of her." Derek tells her honestly.

"That's sweet." She says, with a cute voice.

"Linda was funny like you. Imagine being her parents right now. Imagine having a child and having to see her go through that kind of disease." Derek says worriedly.

"I would rather kill myself than keep living without my daughter." Addison says sincerely, moving closer to him.

"I wouldn't do that. I couldn't do that to you." He says.

"Derek" She says, touched by what he just said. The way he cared. She felt thankful that after everything they have been going through, he cared.

"What?" He asks curious.

"You would be such a beautiful father. You know that, right?" She says, leaving her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat.

"I will be, you will become a beautiful mom, too. One of these days you'll end up pregnant and we will laugh at our stupid arguments." Derek says, placing a hand over hers.

"I can't wait to live that." She says.

"Me too. Could you imagine having a kid? Mini me?" He grabbed her hand, it was a little cold.

"That would be lovely." She squeezed his hand a little. Addison couldn't help but imagine a little black haired boy, throwing rocks at the lake with Derek by his side.

"A little you would be lovely too." Derek says, stroking her hair softly.

"I'm scared of becoming a mom sometimes..." she vents a little.

"Really?" He's surprised.

"Yeah... I mean, the other night I had a dream, and I was pregnant and I couldn't tell you and when I woke up I felt relieved. And it was weird, I mean, I still don't get why I was so relieved" she keeps venting.

"Addison... are you trying to say that you don't want to be a mother anymore?" He shooks his head to look at her, everything looks blurry in the darkness, but he can see her thanks to the light of the city coming through the window.

"No, of course not. I really want to be a mother. I want to be called mom, I want to go pick my kids from school and stare at their cute family drawings for hours. I want to wake up a Saturday morning with a tiny being that won't let my arm go." She says, all dreamy.

"Addison... I never thought you ever took this so serious." Derek says.

Back in New York the theme of having children barely appeared through the last years, everything started fading away until now. Somehow Derek felt like Seattle was a good change, not only for work, or a new life, also for their relationship. As Addison said, a clean slate.

"Maybe it's the fear of failing. I don't want to end up like Bizzy. I don't want to be my mother." She said in a sad tone, she wants her future children to be happy, if she ever has them. If _they_ ever have them.

"You will never be your mother." Derek says replying to her as soon as she starts feeling insecure.

"What If our kids end up worst than me an Archer?" Addison says, in concern.

"Well, our kids will be half Montgomery Forbes, half Shepherd. So, they will be fine." He laughs.

"I guess." She giggles.

"I'm sure. I can assure you." He gets serious.

"Derek, what if it never happens? What if I just don't _'function'_ anymore?"

"Addison..."

"Please don't _Addison_ me, it doesn't help." She rolls her eyes.

"We have time. Okay? Let's be patient, maybe if we don't struggle that much about it, and we have sex just for fun or need, instead of trying to get pregnant, maybe it will work out better that way."

"Actually that makes sense." She snuggles next to him, closer.

"It does." He nods, caressing her shoulder.

"I'm sure you once heard me saying that stress during sex periods actually made getting pregnant difficult." She looks up to her handsome, dreamy, husband.

"I always heard you." He looks down to her eyes again.

"You seemed to be bored anyways." She says. Remembering their past on med school, when they used to study together.

"Of course I was bored, I'm a brain surgeon, not a neonatal surgeon." He laughs.

"But you listened anyways." She says, serious. Again, _he cares_.

"I did." He says.

"Why?" She asks, curious of what the answer will be.

"Why what?"

"Why did you listened to me all this time?" She wants his answer.

"Because... it gets interesting if for you it's interesting."

"What do you mean?"

"I loved seeing you happy after you studied for weeks. It was fun to see you all happy when you knew everything, it was like having a library inside of your heard. I loved listening to you." He says, all romantic she melts.

"So, stress suits me well?" She jokes, supporting herself on her elbows, now she looks down to Derek.

"It kinda does." He says with a laugh.

"Shut up..." She says with a laugh, leaning on to kiss him softly.

He caresses her cheek while their lips are still crashing against each other. It's romantic and sweet.

"I have a perfect wife." He says when her lips decide to break the kiss.

"I love you." She says, pecking his lips.

"I love you too." He says all romantic, she's back on resting her head on his warm chest. Her fingers making a pattern, caressing his shoulder.

"Good night, Derek." She says, tired.

"Sweet dreams, sunny." He chuckles.

"Oh no, don't say it." She laughs.

"What? Sunny?" He keeps teasing her.

"Don't call me sunny." She demands, squeezing his shoulder.

"Sunny, sunny, sunny!" Derek laughs, kissing her hair. She squeezes his shoulder one more time.

"I will start calling you pumpkin." Addison teases him, it's her moment to be the mean bitch she liked to act like in public.

"No, don't even think about it."

"Why, pumpkin? You don't like it?" Addison looks at him, resting her chin on his chest now, so she can get a better view of her husband.

"Sunny, I don't want you to call me that way. You are mean." He tells her. She grins. She loves what a comedian he can be.

"Fine."

"Fine." He nods.

They fell asleep. They had a perfect day ahead of them, finally a day off for both, they expected to do some things together, have dinner out, spend time outdoors, outside of their apartment or the hospital for a while. A moment for them both. Maybe to get to know Seattle better, Addison didn't know anything, she was still a new one in there, she missed New York sometimes, the Central Park, the Hamptons... specially the Hamptons.

The beautiful house in the Hamptons with that big piano that she used to play sometimes. That was what they both loved the most, seeing the sunset while sitting at the piano. Derek never liked the Hamptons as much as Addison did, after all, Derek was much more of a fishing dude, than a summer house and vodka at three pm guy. Wait, what vodka? I meant to say, _Rosé all day; _that's how Addison used to say it.

The next day started pretty good. Derek woke up by the feeling of the change of weight on the bed he slept with Addison, his wife went out of the bedroom, leaving him in there all awake.

"Addison?" He said out loud.

"I'm preparing coffee, want some?" She yells from the kitchen.

"Yeah..." he stands up from the bed, his neck cracking. "Geez..." he mumbles. Ge gets inside of the bathroom.

Addison comes inside of the room, leaving Derek's cup of coffee on his nightstand, she drinks from her own cup of coffee, sitting on the feet of the bed, checking her phone.

Derek comes out and sees Addison's face turn from a calm expression to a mad one. She's angry.

"Good morning." Derek says, trying to see any changes on her face. She takes a deep breath and turns her phone off.

"Morning." She replies, taking a sip of her coffee, her red hair over her shoulders, it's messy but he loves it that way. He likes spontaneous and natural Addison much more than bossy and sexy Addison.

"What's up? Did you sleep good?" He looks at her over his cup of coffee. He looks a little worried, she's obviously struggling.

"Yeah." She says, standing up, walking to her part of the bed, to rest in there.

"You seem... upset." He says, leaving his cup on his nightstand, sitting closer to Addison. She looks away.

"I'm hating your sister very much right now. Not in the mood."

Well... their morning didn't start that good apparently.

"Nancy?" He chuckles. She rolls her eyes and leaves her cup on her nightstand, next to her earrings.

"Amy." She says, coming back on snuggling next to him.

"What did she do now?" He asks, wrapping an arm around her, caressing her back.

"She literally said '_I'm sorry I haven't send you your clothes yet. Probably next month.' _I'm pissed." Addison says with a cold tone.

"Oh... I'm sorry. I know you can't live without your designer clothes and sassy shoes..." he jokes.

"What part of _not in the mood _you don't understand?" She says, sassier. She's really not in the mood.

"I thought you were talking about sex." He chuckles. She rolls her eyes. Still not in the mood.

"I wasn't- You know what? Not everything is about sex." She says, punching his chest playfully.

"I know, but it sounded like it." He chuckles again.

"You have a dirty mind." She says.

"I do." He nods. She snuggles again.

"Well, I just want to slap her."

"I'm sure Nancy would be very flattered to accomplish that mission for you." Derek suggests.

"I would like to take a flight to New York and slap her myself. And, that would be Kate, not Nancy. Do you even know your sisters?"

"They prefer you instead of me." He says honestly.

"I just want my clothes back."

"Why did you call Amy to do that anyways? We also have Savvy in New York, and I have three more sisters. Oh, and if I remember you have a family."

"Derek, don't start with it. I made a bad decision by giving Amy too many responsibilities, okay. I get it. You don't have to start to brag about how unite you are with everyone and what kind of 'closed door' I am." She says, stepping up from the bed, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Okay, okay." He nods. "You're not in the mood, I get it."

"I need to buy myself new underwear too. Ugh, I'm already struggling." She puts a hand on her forehead. She is totally stressed.

"What?" He chuckles.

"Never mind. Do you know any mall or something that we can go to?" She asks, taking another sip of her coffee.

"Of course. There's lots. Addison this is also a city not a small town in the middle of the nowhere." He saysz

"I know that, Derek." She opens the curtains, Derek does a weird face as soon as the brightness of the sun hits his eyes.

"Okay. I'll go take a shower or... do you wanna go first?" He asks before stepping out of the bed.

"Go, I have some paperwork to finish anyway." She says, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Or we can go in together?" He winks.

"Not in the mood." She rolls her eyes.

"Right." He nods, standing up from the bed. She leaves the room with her cup of coffee in a hand, determined to finish some paperwork before starting her routine.

Derek ends her shower, she takes a shower. Both have lunch still wearing their robes after shower, two healthy salads Addison knew how to prepare. Derek used to tease her because she didn't know how to cook, but it was mostly to bother her and laugh at the cuteness of her mad expressions, when she was actually pretty good. Not perfect, but good.

"I was starving." She says, taking a sip of her glass of water after lunch.

"Me too." He kisses her temple, seeing she's in a better mood.

They both get inside of their closet. Addison picks a dark blue skirt and a white blouse, first thing she found. Derek decides to wear a pair of jeans and a black shirt, something casual.


	14. Chapter 14

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 14_**

"What do you think? Red or black?" Addison asks, showing him a pair of bras. He looks away with a giggle.

They were at the mall, Addison finally found a decent place to buy herself some clothes, Derek was right, Seattle wasn't that bad after all. Even though it wasn't better than New York.

"Addison, you are the one wearing them, everyone is staring." Derek laughed. It was already weird to see a married couple buying lingerie together at Victoria Secret.

"Now you care if they stare at you?" Addison asks, giving him _'a look'_.

"Well..."

"Just answer my question. You will be the one taking them off of me anyway." She says.

"Red."

"Good." She nods.

"Or black..." Derek can't decide, to be honest.

"Derek." She rolls her eyes.

"Take both."

"Okay." She smiles at him. First real smile of the day.

"Are you also buying panties to math with them or...?" Derek asks curiously.

"Oh! Now you care?" She asks, looking at him, grinning.

"You gave me a very understanding argument, so, yes. Now i care." He nods.

"I think I can do that. I mean... i really did give an understanding argument." She laughs, looking for panties now.

"Hey, i got the morning off tomorrow." Derek shares.

"Really? Me too." She grinned at him.

After Addison bought her lingerie and left Victoria Secret holding hands with Derek, proud of her choices, they decided leaving now and going home to get ready for a good dinner was a great idea. While walking through the mall they found a pet store. Addison liked animals... she wasn't that enchanted by them, but she liked them.

"Oh my God... look at those puppies." She said stopping from walking. Derek looked at her, her face was stunned at the little animals, like a four year old. He smirked.

"They are cute!" He says, he really doesn't know how to respond at a bunch of tiny dogs biting each other paws and ears.

"You know... this will sound weird, and please don't tease me about it in the future... but I do miss Doc sometimes." She says.

"Really? I thought you didn't like him, you were always complaining that she ate your shoes." Derek chuckled. Her eyes still on the puppies.

"I did hate him because of that, but, he was cute. He was my only company when we were... in a..."

"Difficult time." He finishes her sentence.

"Yeah, difficult time." She nods.

"Maybe we could get a puppy... someday." He says.

"What? No... I mean, I wouldn't be bothered, it's just that I don't want you to consider it just because of my latest confession." She says, her eyes still on the tiny animals playing and doing cute noises.

"If you want one, I can deal with taking care of him. Or her." He says, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"A him." She says.

"Is that a yes?" He kisses her cheek.

"Can it be a probably?" She looks at him.

"It can be whatever you want it to be." He smiles. She smiles back.

"Then... yes." She says, looking back at the puppies.

"You like puppies." He laughs in her ear.

"I do like puppies." She smiles.

They got inside of there. Every dog was so cute she couldn't pick one, neither could Derek. But there was a little shepherd, he was a little lonely, since the other dogs playing around him were golden retrievers and he was a little shy.

"Can I hold him?" Addison asked the teenager who worked there. The guy nodded, and she gently grabbed the puppy, who made some cute noises. "He's so cute."

"You are cute."

"No, Derek, seriously, look at him." Addison said, holding the dog against her chest, he was all cuddling into her arms, smelling her blouse and the red hair next to his big ears.

"He's a Shepherd... like us." He smiles at his wife, she looks like a kid who finally got a puppy. She nods.

"How old is he?" She asks the guy again.

"He's about to be four months old." The teenager informs her.

"You are still a baby!" Addison says with a cute voice, caressing the dog's neck.

"I think you already picked one." Derek said, approaching to them. The dog climbed a little into Addison's arms, getting to lick her chin. "He likes you."

"God, don't do that." Addison laughed. "Can we take him, please?" She begs.

"You already got attached?" Derek asks.

"Just agree with me and let me name him." Addison shakes her head.

"Okay, let's bring him home." He smiled and pecked her lips. She looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Yay! Did you hear that? You're coming home with us." She talks to the dog again.

They left, Addison bought him a little house so he could sleep inside of it. The plan was taking him to the land in the woods every weekend, maybe even finding a way to start training him so he could stay at that land and Addison and Derek could go see him every morning and afternoon after work and before work. They were going to try. But for the moment the puppy was going to live with them on their apartment, it was a big apartment, and both could deal with it.

"What about... Gary?" Addison asks, while both get inside of their apartment, Derek holding the dog this time.

"No, he needs a much more charming name." Derek said. The not named dog was biting Derek's fingers and doing cute noises. Addison locked the door and turned the lights on.

"Do you have any ideas?" Addison asks, taking her coat off.

"To be honest I don't." Derek says, letting the puppy be free. He explores the apartment, he smells everything and find a comfortable spot next to the couch, where he falls asleep.

Addison and Derek are taking their coats off and checking what's on the refrigerator that somehow the forget about the little dog they have.

"Wait a minute... where is he?" Addison says, looking at Derek, curious, maybe even worried, terrified.

"I don't know... he was here like ten minutes ago." Derek looks at his own feet.

"A lot can happen in ten minutes, Derek." She looks around.

"God I don't know where he went to." He says honestly. She rolls her eyes and laughs.

"There he is." She says, walking over the living room. Derek just stood there, looking at Addison grabbing the puppy from the ground, waking him up, but he still acts kinda sleepy, she's now sitting on the couch with him on her arms, letting him rest next to her lap. He falls asleep quickly again.

"You look adorable." Derek says, sitting next to her. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him softly a couple times.

"Thank you." She almost whispered. "Are you feeling any better?"

"I think I do. It will be weird to go working tomorrow and finding her bedroom with any other person that's not her." Derek says a little sad.

"Accept death. Okay? Took me a while but I learned." She says, caressing her puppy and looking at Derek with tender eyes.

After a long night, the next morning...

"Oh my- I'm almost there." Addison moaned, Derek on top, the door closed so their puppy couldn't interrump matitune sex. The doorbell sounded. Their dog barked. "No!" Addison says annoyed, she sighs, knowing there's someone outside of the door waiting for them to let them in. "Why people like interrupting good and pleasant sex?!" But, who the hell was there?

"Damn. Maybe the neighbor looking for sugar again?" Derek asks, moving away from Addison, she tries to catch her breath, so does he.

"No... it's too early for that." She says, referring to their British neighbors that used to take the tea on afternoons. "I'll go check." Addison says, taking the sheets with her, just to cover her body.

Their morning started at six am, when their dog started crying and giving little barks to the couple. Derek had to take him out, when he came back, Addison was under the sheets naked, as she said _'in the mood.'_

"Hey, If you want me to go, it's okay." Derek says, naked laying on the bed, she laughed a little, approaching him just to peck his lips.

She shakes her head and comes back to pose a hand on the door handle.

"It's okay." She says, opening the door, closing it behind her back. The dog barks again, still inside of his little house. She hears familiar voice, kind of blurry because of the distance. She walks through the corridor and finally gets to the door. She checks who's in there first. "Dammit." She whispers.

Amelia and Nancy Shepherd are standing in front of their door. She-Shepherd is surprised.

Addison runs inside of their room. Derek looks at her, she might scream. She looks shocked and speechless.

"What's wrong?" He finally asks.

"Your sisters, here. We are naked." Addison says, pointing at each other, first herself then him, she throws the sheets at him and goes into the bathroom looking for her robe. "Did you called them?"

"Not at all. All my sisters?" Derek asks, worried. The doorbell sounds once again.

"Two of them." Addison yells from the bathroom. Their dog enters the room and barks once again. She gets outside of the bathroom. "Nancy and Amy, to be specific."

"What are they doing here?" Derek asks, grabbing some underwear, putting some boxers on. Addison takes their puppy from the floor, cuddling him into her arms, she rolled her eyes.

"Derek I don't know, I wasn't going to open the door half naked." She says, filled by sarcasm. The doorbell again. "I'll go open the door."

"Hey, let's see the bright side, you can accomplish your wish of slapping Amelia!" Derek laughs, petting the puppy, standing in front of her.

"Shut up." She laughs, he kisses her cheek and leaves the room with her dog. The doorbell again.

_From hot sex to an unpleasant family reunion?_

Addison takes a deep breath and opens the door with a wide smile. "Nancy, Amy, what are you doing here?" She says, caressing the little dog in her hands.

"Addison! Hi! Is that yours?" Nancy asks all fancy, pouting at the dog.

"Hello Addie" Amy says, getting inside, hugging Addison, trying not to squeeze the dog.

"Yes, we called him Tarek." Addison smiles, both sisters enter their apartment.

"That's cute!" Amy says grabbing him from Addison's arms. "Where's my big bro?" She looks around, the apartment is classy and also modern.

"Probably getting some clothes on... what are you two doing here?" Addison asks, crossing her arms over her chest. _What the hell is going on?_

She didn't expect the Shepherd convo to appear at their door today or in a lifetime.

"You decorated the apartment? It looks exquisite." Nancy shares her thoughts. Great, their apartment is Shepherd Sister Approved.

"Yes i did. Most importantly, how did you find my... I mean, our address?" She asks. She looks a little worried.

"Oh by the way, I came with some of your clothes, they are at our hotel tho." Amy shares, petting the dog. Then she scans Addison's morning outfit and smirks flirtatiously. "Uhh, now I see why you don't like us both here, A." Amelia winks at Addison.

Addison kind of took that as a joke.

"Hey! What are you doing here?" Derek says entering, joining the three women in there.

"Hello brother." Nancy says all bitchy, kissing his cheeks.

"Hi." Amy says, giving the dog back to Addison, receiving a warm hug from her favorite sibling.

"Who gave you our address?" Derek asks to the Shepherd sisters, adding a charming smile. Nancy took a sit on the couch, still examinating the apartment, every furniture, every decorative item.

"I'm wondering exactly the same." Addison nods, leaving Tarek on the floor so he could also _live his own life. _

"Addison, dear, you have a hickey." Nancy points to her neck. Amelia and Addison laugh. Derek looks away embarrassed.

"Lemme guess, Derek's fault?" Amelia asks out loud, she finds it fun to annoy the happy couple. She giggles.

"Not cool, Amy." Derek says annoyed. The three ladies laugh.

"God, I'm sorry I haven't offered you two anything. Coffee maybe?" Addison asks immediately.

"That would be lovely." Nancy says. Addison nods, entering the kitchen.

"I want one too!" Derek yells from the living room. Addison suddenly feels like the unappreciated boring housewife she started to become back in New York when Derek's attention wasn't on her.

"Okay!" Addison yells back.

She starts preparing coffee, lost in her thoughts.

Meanwhile, Derek has to deal with his perfect sisters.

"Seems you and Addie really have been working on your marriage." Nancy says, massaging the back of her neck. Derek sits down on the other couch, the one in front of his two sisters.

"Yeah... you two seem... better." Amelia says.

"Really Amy? I don't remember seeing you over here. I just remember Nance being annoying as always." Derek says sarcastically. His youngest sister wasn't around to see how they treated each other horribly.

"Derek, after you left I was her comfort." Amy says serious and strong, he nods, he's surprised his wife found comfort on his little sister.

Addison hears everything but tries to act like she doesn't.

"She was broken, you know that... right?" Amy asks Derek, serious. He nods. "You called her whore on the phone, Derek. I heard you saying the exact words _'don't call me ever again, you adulterous bitch, whore.'" Amelia says._

"It was a different moment, Amy. It was a mistake and I regret every word, you should know that. You weren't me or her. She cheated, I was hurt, and mad." Derek tells Amelia, who's acting bossy and sassy. Even badass.

"Exactly. And you acted like you didn't love her." Nancy adds. Amelia nods and rolls her eyes.

"Amelia." Derek says, trying to shut her up from getting into the defensive way, the Nancy Shepherd and Carolyn Shepherd team.

"You acted like she was garbage." Amelia says, she's being honest, she also had to deal with wiping Addison for months.

"Everything has changed." Derek tries to make his sisters understand that's behind them.

Derek likes to say that a lot, lately. It feels good to know their relationship has been evolving.

"I know that, I'm just trying to get to know if you are aware of what you did to her." Amelia says.

_First of all, I didn't ask for a family reunion. _Derek thought to himself.

"I am aware." Derek nods, his smile already faded away.

"Good." Nancy nods. "We think you and Addie should come back home."

"No. Nancy, with all the respect, areyou crazy?" Derek asks.

"What? Are you really planning on staying here?

Rainy Seattle?" Nancy asks.

"Pretty much, yeah." He nods. "We are figuring this out. She's comfortable here. We have fun. We are happy now."

"Derek, women are liars. I'm telling you this as a woman." Amelia says. She has a point maybe? Addison, specially Addison, humans like Addison had the gift of hiding their emotions.

"Addison doesn't lie. She's open to me now." Derek defends his wife. Addison smiles at that. It's true, she's open now. Nancy and Amelia are just trying to bring him back home, as something like both were never supposed to leave New York.

"What's the plan, then?" Nancy asks. She's in this with Amelia.

"Now i get why you two are here. You don't really care. You just want us back."

"Derek that is not..." Nancy starts talking, but Derek cuts her off immediately.

"Nancy, silence. You two want us back so mom can be happy and you two can feel proud of attending our dinner parties. Amelia, Nancy, girls, open your eyes. We don't have a normal or perfect family, we are all messed up." Derek says.

"True." Amelia laughs a little, receiving a judge mental look from Nancy.

"Addison and I are trying our bests on finding our own path. We don't need my noisy sisters around us. I don't want more familiar drama. I don't want to know what happened to Kate's son at school." Derek keeps talking.

"Derek, okay; we get it." Nancy tries to shut her brother up, but it won't happen. He rolls his eyes at Nancy trying to interrupt him.

"I don't want to hear about how depressed you guys are at a sentimental series. I don't want to go back and revive all those memories with Addison inside of that house. Okay? Drop it." Derek says, firmly, Nancy has her eyes widen. Amelia fights a laugh at Nancy's offended expression.

The coffee is ready. She feels bad she even thought that maybe coming back home wasn't that bad idea. But Derek was right. The drama and hate, the typical routine, the traffic... it was just, exhausting. Seattle was their clean slate.

"I'm staying here, Nance. I am going to raise a family with that redhead classy, sexy, stubborn and lovely human being that I love and I call my wife, that woman standing in that kitchen preparing coffee for my two annoying sisters. No offense, Amy." He looks at Amy, she grins. For Amy, it's amazing to watch the show of her big brother piss her older sister off. It's fun. Better than a comedy movie.

"She's pregnant?" Nancy asks, very surprised, about to scream in case it's a yes.

"No. Not yet." Derek says, Tarek sitting next to his feet, Derek takes the puppy on his arms and leaves him on his lap, resting. "I really want to know who gave you my address." He reminds the address issue from earlier, when his two sisters came through the door of their apartment.

Addison appears with three mugs, back to the living room. Tarek barks of joy when he sees Addison.

"Here you have, honey." Addison smiles at Derek, handing him the cup of coffee. She then gives Nancy hers and Amelia hers. She doesnt feel like coffee, so she just sits down next to Derek, letting their little pup snuggle between the two.

There's silence, only the noise of Nancy trying not to sip too "louder".

"What were you talking about?" Addison asks, Tarek biting her fingers.

"Nothing." Amelia replies before anyone else can.

"Derek told us that you are planning on having kids." Nancy says. Now she's focusing on the good? She leaves her cup of coffee on the table in front of her, so does Amelia.

Addison nods and rests her head on Derek's shoulder. "Yeah... well, it's a plan for the moment." She says, she doesn't really want to give anyone any expectations, not even Derek.

"I really would like to see my brother be a father, so, that's your homework Addie." Amelia laughs.

"That comment was inapropated but I liked it." Nancy says, looking at Amelia, both laugh. Derek and Addison accompany them with laughs too. It was funny. That's the moments he liked, laughing with his sisters and wife.

Finally after the two sisters left, Addison and Derek were totally dressed and ready for work, they left home. Tarek had the whole balcony for himself. It was safe enough.

"So, today we are going to the bar, right?" Callie asks Addison as they walk through the corridor.

"Yeah, sure. But, we gotta find a way to bring Kelly to Joe's. She's not an alcoholic doctor like us, sadly." Addison jokes, brushing her hair with a hand a little.

"Who else is going?" The Black haired ortho goddess asks.

"Mark, Preston, Arizona and I'm sure one of Derek's sisters will end up inside of the whole thing. The Shepherds always find a way." Addison says, a little annoyed but relieved, having family near was beautiful after all.

"Cool. I can handle that." She nods with a light smile.

"Why are you here though? Are you an OB/GYN now?" Addison jokes.

"Nope, but some pregnant women break their ankles trying to move themselves experiencing contractions." She laughs.

"Right." Addison nods.

"How old is Rutherford, by the way? She was on med school with Nancy Shepherd, right? So she must be older than us." Callie reflects.

"A year older today. She was the first in her class they transferred her twice, that's why she was on Nancy's class." Addison tells Callie the story.

"She's a clever one!" Callie says. Of course she is.

"She is." Addison agrees, both stop walking at a nurse station, getting some charts.

"But not as you, babe." Callie laughs, teasing her friend.

"Well, I'm most well known by the board than her, so, I am." Addison says, putting her red glasses on.

"You're not getting drunk tonight, are you?" Callie asks with a laugh, remembering the last time she and Derek ended up drunk.

"I really hope I will not." She laughs too. Someone touches Addison's shoulder. She's surprised, as soon as she turns around, Adele Webber is standing in there.

"Adele!" Addison says with a happy voice, hugging her to greet her. "You look stunning." Addison gets distracted with Adele, so Callie leaves her there, on the OB/GYN wing talking to the chief's wife.

"So do you. How are you Addison? We haven't talked in a while." She says sweetly. Typical Adele.

"I'm pretty good actually. It's lovely to see you, I missed you!" Addison replies, leaving the charts ok the nurses station again.

"That's good to hear." She smirks. "Everything alright between you and Derek, right?"

"Yeah, yeah. Everything is perfect." Addison smiles thinking about her gorgeous husband. "How are you?"

"I'm good too. Came here to see you. We should catch up more often." She says. "Maybe over coffee, what do you think?" Adele suggests.

Addison wants to say yes, but she knows that if she does so, the gossip will be around her haunting her hardly again. I mean, when did it stop anyway? Right? But, she didn't want to be look at like the brain surgeon's wife, neonatal class surgeon, that has a cup of coffee with the chief's wife.

It was pretty cool, yes. But the glamorous part of that started to be blurry. It was a feeling maybe.

"Yeah, maybe. I'll see what I can do." Addison fake smiles. Adele nods with a smile and leaves the neonatal surgeon alone so she can keep working by herself.

"Happy birthday Kelly!" Addison smiles at the blonde woman getting outside of an on-call room.

"Hey, Addison. Thank you." She nods and smiles. Addison gives her a soft smile.

"My best wishes." Addison says smiling, she's walking away until she reminds what she was going to ask her. "Hey, Rutherford." She yells a little. She's like ten meters away from her.

"Yes?" She asks, resting her hands on her pockets.

"Have you seen Robbins?" Addison asks.

"No, I - I haven't." Said Rutherford, walking away. After she's totally gone and Addison is still standing in there thinking where that peds surgeon can be at, the door or the on-call room opens, messy Arizona Robbins comes out of it.

"Arizona?! You and- ?!" Addison really wants to laugh right now.

"Shut up. Don't even say a word." Arizona says serious, she walks away pointing a finger at the redhead woman.

Derek finds Amelia in a nurse station at the neurosurgical wing of the hospital. It's a disgust to have family around sometimes, knowing someone knows every detail about your life. Every fail.

And the fear of your little sister sharing your embarrassing stories isn't very cool. He rolls his eyes and decides to face her.

"Amy, what are you doing here?" Derek says approaching his sister. She smiles gladly at him.

_What do you want from me?_ He thinks to himself, that would have sounded better.

"I came to tell you something I couldn't say earlier." She says, patting her brother's shoulder. Derek looks at her hand on his shoulder.

_Not in the mood, as Addie would say._

"I've never seen anyone so devastated in my whole life." Amelia grows serious, taking her hand off of his shoulder, walking a little away.

Both don't want to be listened by anyone, even if they will anyways.

"Here we go..." Derek says, knowing what she's gonna start talking and arguing about.

"I was scared that if I would leave her alone she would kill herself. No one else from the family was talking to her, so I had to obligate Nancy to help me to deal with her."

"We don't really have to talk about it, Amy." Derek says.

"We do. I had to deal with what you left _over there_." Amelia says, crossing her arms over her chest, looking up to his tall older brother.

"I left her. I know. But the world didn't end. Now we are fine." Derek tells his sister, crossing his arms over his chest too, maybe to annoy her, maybe as a habit.

"It did for her. Derek, you were her world. She was nothing without you. You loved that woman, and she cheated."

"Correction, I _love_ that woman." Derek smiles brightly, at the memory of his charming wife. Not charming, perfect, dreamy.

"When everything starts falling apart, you fight." Amelia quotes wiping Addison after Derek left.

"She told you that, didn't she?" Derek chuckles, now his hands resting on the pockets of his medical robe.

"She did. You have a wise wife." She nods and chuckles too.

"Amy, go to the point." He shakes his head, waiting for his annoying sister to finally end her chit-chat.

"The point is that I'm proud you are making things easier, different, much better. Thank you for that." She smiles, punching his shoulder playfully. Derek acts playfully hurt.

"Are you being serious?" Derek asks.

"Do I seem like I'm kidding?" Amelia frows at him.

"No." He says simply.

"Then, yes, I'm serious. Take care of her. Show her some love, she's weak without you." She smiles at him, waiting for a reaction.

"I know." He says. "I have a romantic wife." He chuckles. She's very romantic, he wasn't lying for sure.

"Don't let everything fall apart like last time. Make it up for her and for you too." She gets serious again. She's not being poetic, she's just telling him the truth, telling him the things he didn't see that clear.

His sister cares.

_She cares._

"Thanks Amy, for the talk. For caring." He gives Amelia an apolongentical look, feeling sad that leaving New York also damaged his sisters.

"I haven't finished yet; Do yourself a favor and give Addison Forbes Montgomery a child. We all want to see how her family side reacts." She laughs.

Maybe that will be the next gossip going through the nurses mouths... _Addison and Derek Shepherd plan on having a child. _

"Are you all already betting?" Derek asks looking curiously at his youngest sister.

"Yes. So, I want to keep my money. Work on those Shepherds to happen." She laughs at him. He laughs back.

"Amy..." Derek rolls his eyes, a little embarrassed.

"Dont waste that potential" Amy says, leaving Derek alone in there.

"My feet hurt more than ever." Addison says, entering their apartment. They have left their dog with the neighbor that also had puppies, knowing they would totally come back home super late and kind of half drunk. "Why do we always do this?!" Addison asks out loud.

They all had a fun night, Kelly enjoyed her birthday, and Addison had to keep as a secret the fact she was a bisexual. Callie flirted a little with Mark, it was fun. Derek and Addison had a great time, Amelia joined them but left as one of the firsts since she was trying to be healthier and get clean from alcohol, which everyone, specially Derek, found it as an amazing act of self-love. Everyone got a little tipsy, but Addison and Derek started playing on who said it wrong had to take another tequila shot. Mark ended up bringing them home after the whole fun night.

"What?" Derek asks, closing the door of the apartment.

"Drink way too much and then standing in this state... Derek did I ever told you how hot you look wearing black?" She says, approaching him. They are both tipsy.

"Once, when I used to ride motorcycles." Derek confesses, holding Addison by the hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"God... I miss those days." She says honesty. They both walk together inside of their room, still with their arms wrapped into the other.

"But we still have the memory." He says all charming, kissing her.

She broke the kiss and smirked. "If we ever have kids we will have to stop drinking with friends." Addison says all understanding. She was right.

"I really want to be a good father for your children." Derek says all cheesy. She laughs.

"I loveeee you!!!" She says on his ear. They like each other in a deeper way when they are tipsy, the way that they show each other their funny personalities and funny ways of seeing everything different.

"I love you." He mumbles, shocked at her beautiful eyes.

"Will you still love me even if I get fat and ugly?"

"I will always love you."

She jumped, wrapping her legs around his waist. He fell on the bed with her, being on top. She took her red hair away from her neck, so he could kiss and caressed her neck durinh sex. They didn't turn any light on inside of their room, so, they were in the darkness exploring.

As usual they woke up having a little hangover.


	15. Chapter 15

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 15_**

"Don't ask." Derek says, entering the lockers room. Mark is in there looking confused. The sound of Addison yelling at someone is already terrifying for Derek, imagine for a bunch of patients and doctors.

_last night..._

Derek and Addison are on bed, kissing, making love, Addison won't let go of him, literally... It feels good to finally have some intimity with her husband after a long time. Surgeries were always in the way of having some action.

Everything was heat. She runs her nails through his back, pulling him even closer than he already is, until they both fall from the bed, Addison falls on her arm. It had to be her arm.

There was always something that could interrupt the sex between the two.

"Jesus!" She screams in pain. "Don't move." She doesn't even want to open her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Derek asks worried, still on top of her. He moves her hair away from her face.

"I think I broke my arm." She says in pain.

"Are you- are you sure?" He ask, looking down at Addison's painful expression. She takes a deep breath, trying to be strong against the pain on her right arm.

"Derek I can't move my arm." She says.

"What should we do?" Derek tries to get up.

"I don't know, please don't move... just not yet." She says, her voice shaky, she's obviously in pain. The almost closed door of their room opens, Tarek getting inside, approaching the couple.

The clever dog looked confused at Addison and approached closely to lick her shoulder.

"How do I take him off of me?" Addison says, with a begful voice. Derek chuckled.

"It's not funny, Derek." She starts sobbing. "My arm hurts." She keeps crying silently childish.

_Back to reality.._

"What the fuck?" Mark asks out loud, Addison getting wild out there, the McBrothers could hear everything.

"Her arm is broken." Derek says, turning around, taking his coat off. Mark looks confused but nods anyway, he has to fight laughing out loud.

While the boys were looking at each other worried of what was happening out there with that fiera, who might be about to murder some people, Addison had to deal with her name still on the board. She is not allowed to do anything, she was screwed.

"Addison!" Alex Karev yells at her, trying to find a way to shut her up.

"Doctor Montgomery Shepherd, for you." She says firmly. The intern is screwed now, too.

"Chill." The intern demands. Addison gives him a hateful look, he looks away. "It's not a big deal, it's just a board."

"I told you several times, Karev. Several times!" She yells. Izzie Stevens and Cristina Yang fight their laughing on the background of the sound of Addison shouting out loud.

"I- I know. I heard." Alex replies, rolling his eyes. His two hands resting on the pockets of his robe.

"I told you last night. I'm not allowed to perform surgery, I'm useless for three weeks!" She yells again, the intern on her services, Karev in this case, was starting to be afraid of what that woman could be capable of doing. Maybe even slapping him?

This was going to be the hot and interesting gossip.

"... So, Go and cancel all my damn surgeries, Karev. Like you should have hours ago!" She says annoyed.

Everyone seems shocked at how rude Addison Shepherd could get. They are all staring at the scene between the OB/GYN and the poor terrified intern.

Karev nods and retires himself from there. Addison takes a deep breath, she knows everyone is looking at her.

Richard Webber is standing in there too, waiting Addison to shut up too.

"Addison. My office, _now_." Richard says firmly, disciplined. Addison managed to roll her eyes dramatically, she followed the chief of surgery down the corridor, so they could get to his office.

He opens the door for her. She enters silently, annoyed. Feeling like a kid that committed a mistake and now was going to be punished at the principal's office.

He shuts the door behind him, taking a deep breath.

"What the hell was that?" He asks Addison, his tone raises per word.

"Richard, just do it. Don't bother to waste your time on me." Addison would really like to cross her arms over her chest, she can not do that, so she rests one of her hands on her hip.

"What?"

"If you're going to suspend me for a month because yelling at an intern, I'm totally up for it. I can't operate anyways, and it hurts me moving. Otherwise, I can keep having histerical attacks in every building, every wing of this hospital. I can yell at whoever you want me to, at every nurse or intern. Maybe Stevens will be the next one." She replies all sassy, stressed by the fact of not touching a scalpel for quite a long time.

"Addison." Richard insists, he seems much more calmed. Addison rolls her eyes at her mentor _Addisoning_ her. "That's not the way to treat your interns or anyone else."

"You treated us worse. Don't act like a saint." Addison is still annoyed and she doesn't realize how disrespectful she's acting at her superior.

"Addison." He looks at her. His tone firm and angry.

"I'm- I'm sorry, sorry Richard. I'm just overwhelmed, that's all." She keeps her tone light and calmed. Trying to keep it that way.

"Are you okay?" Richard asks sincerely, he frows at her. She nods.

"I broke my arm. A surgeon with a broken arm is never okay. Specially when you are a _board certified neonatal surgeon, _like me." She really likes saying that.

"Better a broken arm than a broken heart." He says.

"What do you mean?" Addison asks, finally smirking. She chuckles a little, Richard Webber acting all poetic?! Really?

"You and Derek. Everything seems saner between you two." He says, reflecting a little about the couple. He got soft?

"Aw. Yeah." She nods, happy. She's happy! She has an amazing husband. Doesn't she?

"You should go home rest. Someone else can cover you, I'm sure." Richards says, maybe trying to tranquilisize her.

Addison expected him to yell at her and obligate her to control her behavior with the staff of the hospital, since it bothers not only the employees, also she disturbs the patients in recovery or fear of not being fixed.

"Yeah... I think I should go home too." She says.

Addison looks for Derek. His name wasn't on the board, no surgeries that morning. He had two in the afternoon, but before that, nothing. She calls him.

"Derek, where the hell are you?" Addison asks as soon as he replies.

"He's with me, red." Mark answers.

"Where are you two?" Addison asks, looking around her in case she wasn't seen them.

Some nurses still stare at Addison, she was the freaky, noisy, and crazy surgeon that yelled at her interns. Not yelled, exploted.

"Juju... Sorry we didn't invite you. We heard you were taken to the Chief's office." Mark chuckles. Addison can hear Derek fighting against Mark to take pocession of the phone.

"Ask Derek why he has the morning off, and tell him I need to go home." Addison orders the man whore.

"Derek, she says she needs to go home." Mark informs. Addison rolls her eyes, Mark as a messager was not her best choice.

"Give me the phone." Derek says annoyed, taking the phone out of Mark's hands. "Honey?" He asks af the phone.

"Derek. I need to go home. You have the morning free, can you take me? I checked the board." Of course she did. He chuckles a little at her cuteness.

"Yeah sure, do you want anything?" He asks. She smiles how caring he's been getting.

"No thanks, I'm good. I just need my driver." She says sweetly.

She wants to go home, cuddle with her dog and maybe watch some dumb reality show on the TV. Oh, and snacks. Maybe some days off was not that bad, she was kind of scared everything would fall apart as soon as she was gone, but she trusted her colleagues after all. She went downstairs to the cafeteria, trying to survive not falling down the stairs.

Derek is there waiting for her, he's going to take her home.

"What did Richard say?" Derek asks when they approach to his car. Oh, yeah, she couldn't drive either.

"He was just... you know... telling me to be respectful while being at work... classic stuff." Addison says, while he opens the door of the car for her.

"Ah, I thought he was going to congratulate you." Derek chuckles at his own sarcasm, helping his wife to get inside of the car without breaking any other bone. "Just kidding."

"Thank you." She smiles at him, thanking him for opening the door and caring. He closes the door and walks to his, getting inside of the car.

"Does it still hurt?" Derek asks, closing his door, checking if he has his wallet and pager.

"Yeah... well, not as bad as last night." She laughs a little, looking at Derek by her side, he sits much more comfortable and gives Addison a glance... a platonic one. Like if he was capable of standing right there for hours and could never get tired of looking at her.

"Even Tarek tried his best on healing you." Derek says, holding her left hand. She smiled, she loves her Shepherds.

As soon as they get home, Derek kisses her temple, closing the door behind them. Tarek barks and runs around them, shaking his tail, excited to be cuddled. "I have surgery in three more hours, so, I can't stay here that long, okay?"

"I know." Addison says, understanding.

"Do you think you can survive Tarek?" He laughs. Addison looks down at the dog and smiles.

"Of course I can." She says, looking into his eyes, nodding with her head. She's not very sure, but she can handle it.

"You can't, right?" Derek laughs. She shakes her head.

"I might die." She jokes, moving some hairs bothering away from her face. Tarek starting to fake cry because he wants attention.

He laughs at her cute face, a little embarrassed. "Gotcha!" She smiles. Derek pets Tarek a little.

"I'll go get some rest. Good luck on your surgeries." She pecks his lips and caresses his cheek before she calls Tarek into their room. Derek follows silently, and sees how she handles getting on the bed, Tarek cuddling next to her.

He leaves home, trusting Addison can handle some hours alone. Half trusting... well, he's insecure about it. _She needs a babysitter, right?_ He laughs at his own thoughts getting inside his car.

"Daddy is very stubborn, right?" Addison says, caressing her dog. He licked her hand in return.

Addison's phone started buzzing.

"Hello?" Addison says answering the phone.

"Addie?!" A woman at the phone. Addison is very confused at the very start, but then figures out who the hell is calling.

"Savvy?!" She replies in content. Her friend was calling. One of her best friends was calling her. She missed Savvy more than ever.

"Addison! Oh my God! I doubted this was still your number." She laughs in content.

"Savvanah, God... It's been a while." She says with a wide smile on her face.

"It really has been. I miss you!" Savvy replies, happily. Addie could cry of joy right now.

"Me too. I really do." Addison smiles to herself.

"So, what's new? What's up?" Savvy asks cheerfully.

"I have a broken arm." Addison sighed.

"What? Are you serious? What happened? Are you okay?" Savvy asks worried.

"Slow down." Addison laughs. "I'm fine. It was just a sex incident." She laughs again, making her friend laugh too.

"With Derek?" Savvy asks.

"Who else?" Addison laughs out loud, her slutty days are way behind. No Mark Sloan.

"I don't know. I figured maybe you two didn't work on it anymore... he didn't seem that into it when we went there." Savannah confesses.

"We are better than ever!" Addison says, happily. She's Happy everything between her and Derek was okay now.

"I'm so glad to hear that. I knew you two would find a way to get through it." Savvy smiles to herself.

"Yeah, we really did." Addison smiles. She knows her best friend can't see her smile through the phone, but somehow believes she knows she is smiling. A big wide smile. Shiny smile.

Derek comes back to the hospital, a calm afternoon. He had enough time to prepare for surgery and get ready for a busy day. He changed intro scrubs; anxious, trying his best on being on time to get to the OR. The time is ticking.

He's worried, not knowing if Addison could survive being alone, not capable of many things. He checks the board, it was worth getting late to the OR when it came to his wife's good.

_They did erase Addison's name from the board!_

Great, Arizona Robbins didn't have any surgeries during the afternoon, just consults that any other doctor could cover her with.

Derek spots an intern by his side, also checking the board. "Could you page Robbins and ask if she can go babysit doctor Addison Shepherd? The rollers pediciatrian." He says, to make sure the intern understands who he's talking about.

"Will do, sir." O'Malley says politely, nodding.

"Thanks, O'Malley." He says, paying the intern's shoulder, then leaving him behind, so he can to the OR. He doesn't want to act disrespectful at the nurses and other doctors waiting in the gallery to enjoy a good brain surgery.

He scrubs in.

"Finally you're here. Were you lost?" Bailey teases him.

"Bailey! Sorry I'm late. Had some inconvenients with the other doctor Shepherd. What are you doing here anyway?" Shepherd chuckles a little.

"Grey couldn't make it to scrub in so, I managed, why not coming in?!" She says. Derek nods understanding. "Also, I heard Addison, literally." She says.

"She's loud." Derek laughs, getting in position to start the procedure. He's the only one understand his own dirty joke. "Let's have some fun. It's a beautiful day to save lives." He says out loud.

He walks down the hallway after his third surgery. It's late. Nine o'clock to be exact. He hasn't received any texts from Addison or Arizona, just a missed call from Mark; He probably wanted to grab a drink with him. _They must be fine. _He thinks about Addison and Arizona.

Suddenly, he finds himself in front of Linda's old room. I guess that wound isn't healed yet. He thoughts.

You don't forget an important patient that easy, come on, look at Isobel Stevens and her Denny case. People can get inside of you like an incurable cancer, a deep and dark one that won't stop until you're dead.

No one recoveries a hundred percent anyway. That's one of the things Derek really knows about for sure.

He's been healed a ninety nine percent from his whole situation with Addison. No one is safe from being caught by the pain. The rencor and envy doesn't fade away that easy.

He stares at the empty bed. No one is in there. Is he ever going to get over it? He can't help himself, he remembers a conversation with the kid, weeks before her death.

_Two months ago..._

"I'm into ortho." She says sincerely, nicely, it was almost a confession getting off of her chest. Always wearing a tired smile. Not tired, exhausted. Dealing with a disease and being that tiny, not strong enough physically.

"What? Ortho? What about brain surgery!? Brain surgeons are amazing. Look at me." Derek says, cheering the girl up.

"Not so cool like bones!" She exclams.

"You betrayed me." Derek teases her, sitting on the feet of her bed, making the girl have a good time.

"I also like neonatal, like your wife. She's very pretty by the way." She confesses. "You nailed it." She chuckles. Derek smiles.

"I nailed it?" Derek asks curiously.

"Yeah. You nailed it! You married a very cute girl." Linda nods weakly. She liked her talks with doctor Shepherd, she could ignore the fact that she was surrounded by machines, and the smell of plastic.

"A lot of people say so." He smirks, blushing a little.

"Do you say so? 'Cause that's important!" Linda asks. She was quite a wise young girl.

"Of course. But, I say pretty much better things than that." He chuckles a little. She nods.

"Pretty much better things? Like what?" The kid asks. He wasn't going to deny against a romantic chat with a sick girl. Right?

"I think I married... I know I married the an amazing woman. I know so because she's so funny, caring, kind, sensitive, mean sometimes, but I like that. I love her, it's a virus I can't get out of me. She's never been afraid to show me her feelings, knowing I will be next by her side and I will hold her as much as she needs me to. Addison can be very stubborn and annoying, but she always finds a way to make stubborn and annoying so sweet and wonderful. She's Addison, you know? That's... that is pretty much better things." He admits to himself and to the weak girl resting in front of him. She smiled.

"Seems like you two are _meant to be." _She yells Derek.

"You think so?"

"Of course." She nods.

"Good to hear I'm not the only one who thinks that way."

"You two remind me of the little mermaid movie." She says.

"Why? I'm a mermaid now?" Derek jokes. Linda laughs.

"No, you're like prince Eric. And your wife is Ariel." She says, making him realize is true.

"You think so?" Derek asks.

"Yeah. You two look pretty much alike to those characters. You love her like Eric does love Ariel."

"I can guess you are a Disney fan."

"Actually I'm not. I'm into vampires."

"Vampires?! Tell me all about it." Derek says sweetly, charming, dreamy as always.

"Okay, so..." Linda started talking, Derek acting amused at whatever she was saying.

Addison had been looking at them from outside the room. That was really a cute and beautiful movie to watch, it was wonderful. Derek having a serious chat with a kid. It was cute.

Derek takes the keys of his apartment out of his pocket. The sound of Addison's laughter makes him feel happier. He smiles; he was a little negative and down after walking through Linda's room.

As soon as he gets in the first thing he sees is their little dog running out from the master bedroom to greet him. _"That must be Derek"_ he heard Addison. He takes his coat quickly.

Derek locks the door, leaving the keys on the table near him, stepping on his knees to caress that furry little criature. He takes the dog on his arms, walking inside of the master bedroom, spotting Arizona Robbins on Addison's side of the bed, Addison was next to her, sitting in there. As soon as he stepped inside of the room, both women shook their heads towards the door.

Derek holding a puppy was such a cute thing to watch!

"Hey." Addison smiles, her voice soft.

"Hey!" Arizona greets also.

"Hi! What are you watching?" Derek says, smiling.

"A Jim Carrey movie." Arizona explains, accepting the puppy from Derek's hands.

"How was surgery? I mean... surgeries." Addison says with a little chuckle, resting her damaged arm on a pillow under her breast.

"Had fun. Everyone made it." He nods at her proudly. She smiles.

"Good to know." She nods.

"I think I will go now." Arizona says, leaving the puppy on the bed, who quickly took a place next to Addison, cuddling in there.

"Really?" Derek asks.

"Yeah; I have to start going to bed earlier." She laughs at her excuse, "Sorry. Also, Grey got bronquitis that's why she wasn't there today." Arizona says to Derek.

"Bye!" Addison says, Arizona leans on to kiss Addison's cheek as a goodbye. Addison is a little confused at the mention of _Grey._

"Bye Derek!" Arizona kisses his cheek and leaves.

"Bye!" He yells slightly through the corridor while the blondie was about to exit.

Derek turns back into their room, Addison playing with Tarek, touching his nose to bother him, in return he tried to bite her fingers.

"You two look good." Derek says, taking place on Addison's side. He caresses the dog, focusing his eyes on him. Suddenly he feels Addison's angry eyes reaching for his. "Addie?" he says, Looking up, a little scared of how she was looking at him.

"You don't have anything to mention?" Addison asks, her face serious.

"No? I mean... yes?" Derek starts thinking of what he could have missed.

"You don't have idea. Do you?" Addison rolls her eyes, anxious smirk. She stepped up from their bed, he didn't got what was going on. He stepped moved himself, sitting on bed, resting on his hands.

She was upset. The mention of Derek's ex - dirty mistress made her feel so furious. "Doctor Grey?" Addison asks, a hand on her hip. She tilted his head a little, biting her intern lip.

"She was going to attend on my last surgery." Derek explains calmly. Why does she make a big deal about something he already left far behind them?

"Barry's surgery?" Addison asks.

Addison is enough clever to understand what was going on. Everything was a puzzle somehow, and she was putting every piece back together.

"Yeah." Derek nods, he's serious, but keeps showing himself dreamy on Addison's presence.

"You allowed Meredith Grey to attend on _your _surgery? Derek, are you serious?" Addison asks firmly, looking at Addison, yes, she is mad and furious.

"I am being serious. Why do you act this way? You are being very non sense. I'm not cheating on you, if that's what you question." Derek replies to his annoyed wife, now he is getting annoyed at her jealous behavior. He stepped up from bed.

"Non sense?!" She repeats annoyed, quoting him.

She was being senseful.

"Yes, non sense." Derek repeats. She rolls her eyes.

"Look, Derek, i don't... well, I barely... sometimes interact with Mark, but it's different. He's your friend. Meredith is your intern, not your all time friend, an intern." Addison says.

"Are you trying to tell me that I can't talk to Meredith?" Derek asks, not annoyed or offended, just firmly but curious.

_No, sweetie, I'm just saying 'screw her, I don't really care''_

"Practically. Yes. Definitely. Why do you ask? Are you not agreeing with me?" She looks a little surprised at his question.

"It's just a question." He says inocent.

"Just a question." Addison nods, rolling her eyes, tired of this kind of situations. She sighs, Derek is taking his time and that is starting to worry her.

"I don't talk to her." Derek chuckles at Addison's mad face. She's cute.

"Still. Don't laugh at me. I'm mad." She says serious, he loved her mad and angry and upset. It's so cute!

"Sorry." He crosses his arms over his chest, still wanting to laugh. She was a sweet pie even angry and moody.

"Derek you really messed it up." Addison says, with a sigh, a dramatic one. "You did not mention it. If she was going to be on that surgery she clearly had to be working with you for months, hasn't she? You don't let anyone get inside of your OR, you don't like teaching either."

"Addison." Derek is tired of her investigating. He was tired of arguing over this.

"You have Barry as a patient since a long time ago. Why didn't you told me?!" She says in disappointment.

She's totally disappointed. She expect much more confidence from him.

"I didn't want you to get upset about her working with me." Derek explains. He was being honest. He didn't want his marriage to fall apart once again.

"Derek, she's obviously madly in love with you." She rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I don't care if Grey is in love with me. I love you, having Meredith on my services will not change my mind about you or our marriage. You know that, right?"

"I just... I feel so bad when she looks at you that way... I get..." Addison starts talking.

"Jealous?" Derek chuckles a little.

"Yeah. I mean, no!" Addison looks away, she's obviously jealous.

"You do." Derek says, already missing those blue greenish eyes away from his.

"You should have told me." She looks back into his blue eyes.

"I know. I'm sorry." Derek apologized, Addison pecked his lips and walked into their closet, looking for pajamas.

Jealousy could be her second name.

"I'm still mad at you." She says. "But i will need you to help me to get into my pajamas because I'm... invalid. And it's your fault." She looks at him expecting him to act and help her. He nods silently and slowly.

"Okay." He smiles at her, helping her to get out of her blouse. She keeps herself without any determined expression, serious Addison avoiding starting a bigger argument.

Both went to bed, she felt a little insecure. Just a little. She knew her jealousy could be like a tumor, it could become bigger and bigger, that's why she wasn't afraid of admitting it, but sometimes around _him _she was the other part of herself. She was temerous of showing Derek her weak side when he knew it perfectly.

She can't help but look into Derek's direction, she can't look any other place because of her arm. He's trying to fall asleep but, he can't really keep his eyes closed, they are staring at Addison's eyes.

"You know you're still awake, right?" Addison teases him. He chuckles a little and reaches for her hand.

"You aren't sleeping that much either." Derek says a little sad. He knows she's disappointed he didn't mention anything about Meredith being on his services the last couple of months. "You wanna tell me something, or ask, don't you?"

"I do." She admits.

"Go ahead." He gave her hand a little squeeze.

"Was she... better than me?" Addison asks, feeling a little awkward.

"Better than you? What are you trying to say?" He chuckles, she rolls her eyes, he knew what she meant!

"On bed." She sighs.

"Ah." He chuckles again. "No, and I'm not saying it because you are my wife and I love you, I say it because she really... she doesn't do what you do." Derek explains. Addison nods.

"Good to know." Addison says sincerely.

"Actually, I fell asleep during sex like... twice." He laughed out loud.

"What? Really?" Addison laughed with him.

"I swear." Derek laughed.

"I have fell asleep during sex too." She laughs.

"Mark?"

Before Addison thinks about it, she reflects. She doesn't want to say something wrong. She doesn't want to hurt him. _You know what? Fuck it. Mark is history, blurry and horrible history we don't want to touch. He asked, he gets an answer._

"Yeah." She nods.

"Okay, I have to admit I don't like thinking of you on top of him, but that's funny."

"Sorry for that." She moves her hair away from her face, getting comfortable on her pillow.

"It's okay. Those days are far behind, aren't they?" Derek says, happily.

Addison feels better. It was time to stop being so jealous about Meredith and just see her as another doctor at the hospital... sorry, intern.

"I miss her." Derek admits.

"Meredith?" Addison asks surprised, eyes widen. _Are you being serious, Derek?!_

"No, no. Linda. I'm talking about _her_." Derek says, explaining exactly his point, not wanting misunderstandings with his gorgeous wife.

"Oh... I'm sorry, honey. I know you two had a bond." Addison says.

"She liked vampires." Derek chuckles a little, softly. "She liked you. A lot."

"That much?" Addison teases him. He rolls his eyes and then meets hers again.

"That much. She even said she was into neonatal." Derek informs her.

She knows that, she remembers that conversation that she overheard, but she wanted Derek to talk about it and smile about it. He needed to get over it eventually.

"She would have been a better neonatal surgeon than me, that's for sure. That girl was clever as hell." Addison giggles, she's happy Derek finally unfolds a little about the whole _'Linda Theme'_.

"She really was. But, no one is better than you, honey." He squeezes her hand once again. "Sorry I haven't asked yet... how was your day with Robbins?"

"It was good. Savvy called." Addison informs him.

"She did?" He questions.

"Yes. She wanted to know how I was, how we were." Addison says.

"That's amazing. What did she say?" Derek asks, all cheerful.

"She's Savvy, you know... her marriage still going, her work keeps successfully, Weiss took her to Italy last month as a surprise. Our friends are good." Addison says, Happy for them both. Derek nods, he's happy and content to hear those news.

"That's so great! I'm glad you told me. I sometimes miss having dinner parties in the Hamptons with them." He confesses.

Addison always thought Derek hated the Hamptons, but apparently he also had his favorite memories.

"Drinking homemade martinis until three am?" Addison asks.

"Yeah. That and Weiss on the piano, you singing, Savvy sipping from Weiss' scotch when he was distracted... and staring at you the whole night." Derek says.

"I miss that too. Specially the Hamptons' heat." Addison says, now caressing Tarek's tiny head, he was resting right next to her lap, asleep.

"There was heat even during winter..." Derek laughs.

Addison laughs back, getting the dirty joke. "Hell yes! We know how to keep warm." She jokes back. He leans closer to her, pecking her lips.

"I miss your singing." He says.

"That's funny, you know I barely sing." She says.

"You do." He insists. She smirks.

He always told her that her singing was beautiful. She never really did buy that lie, he was sweet, but sometimes too much.

"I'm still mad." Addison reminds him, in case he gets too cute with her. She's mad and wants to keep it that way. Punishment was her answer. "Because of my arm and Meredith." Derek laughs at that.

"I know." He nods.

"Okay." She gets comfortable on her side of the bed, trying not to wake Tarek up, and not hurting her arm.

"Okay." He nods.

"Goodnight Derek." She says, closing her eyes.

"Night, Addison" he says, falling asleep slowly.

**_Review? 3_**


	16. Chapter 16

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 16_**

"I don't want you to go." Addisons says sincerely.

"I know! I feel the same." Derek says.

"Okay, take care of yourself. Call me. I want to hear from you." Addison says, giving Derek a last goodbye. She kissed his lips. She was anxious. Tarek wanted to leave the apartment, but Addison wasn't going to let him do it. He was way bigger though!

Derek was going to Chicago for two work conferences, he was going to be away for five days, Addison wasn't wearing her ugly plaster anymore. She was excited for coming back to work.

"I will. Don't worry about me! Have fun operating today. Okay? I will call when I have time." Derek says, pecking her lips. Caressing her cheek.

"Okay. Have fun! Enjoy Chicago." She says, he nods.

She's been anxious the last days, maybe the fact that her desire for having a kid with Derek was fading away... it's been even months since they don't talk about the whole family theme. Which makes her feel anxious. Because she wants to talk about it and discuss it, and imagine her future with him.

"Will do. If you still have those cramps, call me. See you soon." He says, hugging her. She embraces him, squeezing him a little.

"It's called ovulating. Take care, Derek." Addison says finally, with a little laugh.

Was it ovulating? For real?

"You too. I love you." He says sweetly. She feels like she could cry over him leaving.

"Love you too." Addison smiles at him, she's gonna miss him. She's already missing him.

"You have everything?" Addison asks, she knows he has everything, she knows, but she prefers to ask just in case he missed something.

"Everything." He nods.

"Okay." She nods back.

"I gotta go, my cab is here." He says, checking if he has everything. He does. He pecks her lips for the last time.

"Bye. Have a safe flight!" Addison says while she sees Derek walking away from the entrance door of their apartment, pressing the button of the elevator.

"Thank you! Bye honey!" He says, getting inside of the elevator that just opened. She closes the door behind her as soon as he's totally gone.

She feels lonely as soon as she takes place on the couch. No late nights at the lake until he's back. No more ferry boats to get to his land until he is back. Now she was taking the dog out. She's probably gonna end up depressed. She was alone and he wasn't going to be around for some days. She was going to deal with the house by herself. How was she supposed to feed herself? She was a bad cook.

She sighs heavily. Her stomach feels empty. Thank God she's not that useless in the kitchen. She's about to call him, but reminds herself that he left four minutes ago and she needs to keep herself focused on any other thing besides Derek. _I am an independent and powerful woman, I do not depend on a man_. She kept telling herself.

She prepares herself a little bowl with some fruit, and a cup of coffee. Caffeine comes first. Well, secondly, since a kiss from Derek is always the first thing.

* * *

"Hello, Sloan." Addison says, spotting Mark walking around, just like her, walking through the corridor of the general wing, looking for Miranda Bailey.

"Addison! How's your first day going?" Mark asks. Considerated?

"Pretty much exhausting. Being ausent accumulated me way too much paperwork." Addison rolls her eyes.

"Oh. Derek already left?" He asks, looking at the redhead walking next to him.

"He did. He seemed excited." Addison says, with a little smile.

"Glad to hear that." Sloan says. Addison doesn't really know why he's talking to her, they aren't the best friends and lately they can't say they have a good bond.

"Yeah." She nods, Mark keeps walking away, Addison spots a nurse near her and walks over her.

"I'm sorry, have you seen Doctor Bailey?" Addison asks, the nurse nods and points at an exam room near them. "Thank you." She mutters to the nurse.

Addison knocks on the door. "Who is it?" Bailey asks. Addison opens the door, Miranda is discussing with a patient about a surgery.

"Me. Sorry for interrupting." Addison says, smiling at the old man on the bed, she approaches to Miranda.

"What do you need, Addison? I'm busy." Bailey says, drily.

"I need a consult." Addison says, she just wants a consult.

"Poison oak again?" Miranda chuckles a little.

"No, I just need to check myself. I trust you." Addison explains.

"Look, Addison, I'm not an OB/GYN, you will have to ask anyone else from the department. Plus I'm busy here." Miranda says, now getting back on chatting with her patient.

Addison rolled her eyes and left the room, shutting the door behind her. She just needed to know if everything was okay. Maybe it was too late? Maybe she couldn't get pregnant anymore and she didn't know.

Menopause symptoms?!

* * *

She walks inside of the elevator, she thinks it's better to leave her consult for the late afternoon, now she can go to the ER and check on people that must have problems.

She hasn't been paged by anyone, it's another calm day, but she's anxious and needs to do something fun. Besides, paperwork was boring and stressing.

Stepping out from the elevator she finds a pregnant young woman, she was probably twenty five, or so. Addison realized she was the only one not being attended, so she walked over there.

"Hi. I'm doctor Shepherd. May I help you?" Addison asks the woman, nicely, showing a smile, trying to hide her stress as much as she could.

_Why young people like perfume so much!? This woman literally took a shower of a Chanel perfume._ Addison thought.

"Hello. Finally someone! I'm Julia." The blonde woman exclaimed. Addison was a little surprised. "I'm ten weeks. I would like to have a determination of my pregnancy." She says simply. Addison'a eyes are widen, she can't help but she's surprised.

"Oh." She thinks for a minute. This woman was way too young. "Termination?" The girl nodded. "Are you sure?" Addison asks, that's literally leaving her on shock. Well, she's seen worse than that, but somehow she was delicate today.

Maybe leaving her alone for some days made her delicate. Her trust issues.

"Yes. I'm looking forward to it." The woman says. Wait, she was excited about aborting a human being that was alive inside of her?

"How old are you?" Addison asks the young woman. Julia rolls her eyes at the question.

"Twenty one." She replies. Addison nods.

Addison was quite close enough! She hated this kind of cases. Healthy babies and healthy mothers, but people with Julia's age apparently don't really like the concept of procreation. But, twenty one? She looked even younger after all.

"I will give you a chart that you have to fill. And then we'll get you into some procedure after running some tests on you." Addison smiles at the patient, trying to sound and look nice. Julia managed to smile nervously.

She was going to make someone perform an abort on that young woman. She felt bad. It felt bad. Taking someone's life just because his or her mother wasn't comfortable with having him or her.

It felt wrong. Today everything felt different. Maybe it was the coming back to the hospital after a long while? The smell of latex gloves, bothering her too. Addison walks away, looking for a clean chart to give the woman in there. She can't go much more further she stops for a moment. She takes a deep breath.

"Doctor Montgomery?" Izzie Stevens asks, as soon as the readhead starts getting pale.

A tunnel going through Addison's eyes. Dizziness hitting her hard. Suddenly she can't keep supporting her own body on her legs. Her knees feel weak. She feels weak herself. And somehow there's nothing she can do to stop that feeling of "passing out". Stevens runs behind her to catch her or stabilize her before she can fall into the ground. She catches her, fortunately.

* * *

Addison wakes up on an exam room. Her head hurts. Did she hurt her head? No. Okay. She's fine. She just had a little episode. Mark Sloan laughs on her face as soon as she starts waking up.

"Welcome back to lucid life, Red!" Mark laughed again. Addison rolled her eyes, she was still a little dizzy. Did she faint? What the hell happened? She hated Mark acting flirty all the time.

"I fainted, didn't I?" She asks, looking around, checking if she's connected to any machine or something. "Did you exam me or...?" She asks confused. A part of Addison didn't want to be tested of anything, she just wanted to be calm, alone. Today she wasn't herself.

"You did. We still haven't done anything to you, I stopped Bailey from doing anything, knowing you would get upset if she did." Mark said, taking a seat on the little couch of the exam room, he looks at Addison, confused also.

"Thanks for that." Addison nods, serious expression, covering from her faint. She's so sure both are trying to figure out how she fainted. But, she doesn't want to hear her thoughts.

"Any idea why you fainted?" Mark asks curiously, he sounds serious, not childish.

Addison is not gonna give him reasons, or answers, she doesn't feel comfortable in there, it doesn't feel right. So instead she just decides to say whatever comes up into her mind.

"Maybe just fatigue. I haven't had breakfast yet." She lies. She did have breakfast.

"You're not a breakfast person anyway." Mark chuckles a little.

"Mark, just leave me alone." Addison says, glancing at him with hateful eyes.

"Do you want me to call Derek?" Mark asks, looking at the Redhead, sitting on the exam table, taking a deep breath.

"No, it's fine. I'm fine." Addison says, smiling weakly. She doesn't know why she fainted, maybe she just fell asleep? Wait, no, that would be too absurd. She just doesn't find any reason why.

Maybe letting it pass will be okay.

"Okay." Mark stands up from the couch. "Page me or Torres if you feel like passing away again." He chuckles, she nods at him. He then leaves Addison alone in there, thinking.

She's confused.

Yeah, that's the word.

_Confused._

Miranda Bailey enters the exam room some minutes later, going to check on her. "Ah! You are awake." She says, closing the door behind her back.

"I'm okay." Addison nods. Miranda frows at her.

"Are you sure? You just passed out in the middle of the hospital." Bailey says.

"I swear. It must be fatigue." Addison swears, she even believes her own lie. Is it bad that she lies to herself also?

"I still think we should run some test on you, just to make sure. Thank God Steven catched you." Miranda tells her.

"I'm fine, really. Thank you for caring, Miranda." Addison says, stepping up from the exam table. Ready to leave that room, actually she couldn't wait.

"Webber knows. He saw the whole thing happening, so, he will probably page you soon to go talk to him. You know how he gets when it comes to the well-being of his best doctors." Miranda chuckles a little, giving Addison a smile, maybe to make her feel good, safe. Whatever that smile was for, it really made Addison feel better.

"Okay. Thank you for telling me." Addison laughs at little.

"Is Derek already in Chicago?" Miranda asks. She obviously knew about the convention.

"He must be there by now!" Addison says, checking her watch.

"Good. Send him my greetings when you communicate with him." Miranda says. Addison nods.

"Don't worry, I will." Addison nods again, now leaving the exam room. She needed to go to her office and start working on her paperwork, she couldn't do anything else, she felt herself heavy still.

As soon as she leaves, Richard runs into her in the corridor. "Addison." He says. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes. I'm fine. Thanks for asking." She gives him a weak smile.

"Are you sure?" Richard asks. Here it comes! A long and stressing conversation with the chief.

* * *

"Hey, wanna grab lunch? I'm starving." Callie asks Addison, who's on her office, taking a deep breath, she seems tired. "Is everything okay? Are you depressed because your hubby went out of town?" The ortho goddess laughs a little.

"I do miss him. I'm just tired." Addison says, resting her head on her hand. "I'm wasting another one of my eggs." Addison closes her eyes in pain.

"Having your period?" Callie asks, she's not following.

"No. Ovulating and I don't have Derek near to get me pregnant. I have this little cramps I have to deal with." She sighs heavily. She was truly struggling.

"I see." Callie says. "I guess that's a no to grabbing lunch with me?" Callie smiles at her anyways.

"Not today, sorry. I'm stuck with all this paperwork, I don't feel so good either. Tomorrow, maybe?" Addison tells Callie sincerely. She's being honest, she doesn't feel alright, but she's thankful they smile at her a lot today.

"Thought so, you look a little sick and, condering your absence, you must have lots of paperwork. See you later, page me if you need anything!" Callie says all caring.

Addison appreciated her friend, a lot.

"Thank you, I will." Addison nods at her with a weak smile. Callie nods and leaves her alone in there. Addison likes loneliness sometimes, but it makes her feel insecure, her trust issues always haunting her.

It was around five pm, Addison was locked inside of her office, coffee on hand, pen on the other one. Paperwork all over her desk. "I hate this." She mutters.

She didn't receive any messages from Derek or had missed calls from him. She was wondering if everything was alright.

_"Hi. Hope you had a safe flight. Call me when you can, please." _She texted him.

A knock on the door surprises her. "Come in." Addison says out loud.

Karev opens the door, Addison looks at him in a weird way, what was he doing here. She left her cup of coffee on the desk and took her red glasses off. "Karev... this is unexpected." She sighs, leaning back on her chair.

"Rutherford is in the OR, they need you for a consult, everyone else is busy... but if you can't go I can wait for Rutherford to come back..." Alex says politely, showing himself cheerful, happy the best neonatal surgeon is back.

"Okay, I'm going. " Addison says, standing up from her seat, leaving her glasses and pen on the table. "Let's go." She says, walking outside of her office, being followed by the stubborn intern.

"Gotta admit I'm glad you're back, Doctor Shepherd." Alex says, walking next to her.

"Really? Why? Is Rutherford a better Satan that I am?" Addison laughs at her joke.

"Way better. I was being tortured with her." Alex says all honest.

"What? Rutherford is a sweetheart." Addison looks at the intern, lost, confused.

"With you she's a sweetheart. I've never been so scared of neonatal surgery in my whole life thanks to her." Alex says.

"She has a nickname already?" Addison asks joking.

"We call her Lucifer." Alex says. "Don't tell her I told you." He begs.

"I quite like that nickname. I can't promise, but, you are safe for now." Addison jokes. He stops in front of the exam room, opening the door for Addison. A nurse gives her the medical chart of the patient.

"Hello Laura, I'm doctor Montgomery - Shepherd." Addison introduces herself in front of the black haired Asian woman, who was holding a man's hand, probably the husband.

"Hi. You're the best around here, right?" The woman asks nervous, caressing her probably eight months belly.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" Addison asks with a smile, trying to make the patient light up her mood.

"Well, that's what I've been told." The Asian woman looks right at Karev. Addison nods and smiles. Another little cramp.

"I'm Sean." The man introduces himself; giving Addison a nervous smile.

"He's my husband." Laura says.

"Nice to meet you." Addison says. "Tell me, Laura, what brings you here?"

"He hasn't kicked since this morning." Laura says.

"At what hours he usually kicks?" Addison asks, moving some hair away from her face.

"He kicks a lot, every morning, and after I have a meal he also kicks. But he hasn't kicked yet."

"Have you done any kind of exercise or had an accident that you think could be why he hasn't kicked yet?" Addison asks, looking right into the woman's eyes.

"No, I don't think so. Besides sitting on the couch and eating, I haven't done that much." She laughs nervously. Addison smiles.

"We will check what's going on, okay?" Addison says. Laura nods.

"Babe..." Sean starts talking, squeezing Laura's hand, he seems worried and scared.

Addison frows at Sean for a couple seconds, but she's letting that pass for now, maybe he's afraid something is wrong with their son. "Karev, bring me an ultrasound machine, okay?" Addison asks the Intern.

Addison is actually surprised that they took away the ultrasound machine from there, maybe there was another patient that needed it.

Addison asks Laura to move herself, so she can touch her belly and check the position of the baby, and stuff. As soon as Addison sees Laura's back, she knows something is wrong. She has a big fresh bruise, like she broke her cocsis or something.

Addison touches it. Laura sighs in pain. "What happened to you?" Addison asks.

Oh no, Addison was dealing with another one of those cases where she was going to find a dead baby inside of a healthy mother. She just knew it. It was like those patients, back many months ago, te woman had a fall on the shower and lost her baby. Addison knew it was something like it.

She takes a deep breath, it was another little annoying cramp. "I will go see why doctor Karev is taking so long..." addison Excuses herself, leaving. The married couple in there, alone.

"I can't do this. I- it's too much. Page Rutherford or whoever you want to page, but I can't deal with this case. Not in the mood." Addison tells Alex Karev. She leaves him in there, looking how she left him behind on her high heels.

Obviously Alex Karev didn't know what '_not in the mood'_ meant for real, because, Derek was the only one who really knew. Why would he?

* * *

She walks the dog after a long day. Paperwork filling her thoughts. She keeps avoiding the theme of her passing out. Her phone starts buzzing. It was late night and she was tired, all she wanted was going to bed. "Derek?" She asks as soon as she picks up.

"Hey! Sorry i didn't call or text earlier." He says through the phone. Addison smiles at the sound of his voice.

"Derek! Hello love, I miss you. It's okay, I know you're busy." She says. He smiled at her _hello love._

"I miss you too. Four more days! How was your day?" He asks. Addison smiles, she's happy he called. He's happy she answered the call.

"Kinda crappy. I had a very moody patient this morning, she wanted to abort her child, she told me she was twenty or something like that, well..." Addison starts to talk.

"Plot twist?" He interrupts her, sitting on the bed of his hotel room, taking his shoes off after a busy day. It's so nice to hear her voice.

"Yes! She was actually seventeen. But she looked pretty mature, even though her perfume was awful. It would have made you end up with a severe migraine." Addison laughs, she had an stressing and crappy day, but he made it brighter.

"For real?" He laughs too, laying on bed now, looking up, phone on hand.

"I swear. It was awful." Addison says, still walking around the streets of the neighborhood they lived in. "How was your day?" She wishes she could be resting her head on his chest right now.

"It was pretty cool! Had fun with other brain surgeons, it's fun to have someone to talk about aneurisms and stuff, you know." derek says sincerely, he smiles. Knowing she cares makes him happy and content of having her there for him since day one. He wants to hug her and tickle her, badly. The distance between them hurts.

"Oh honey, you always have me here to talk about aneurisms!" Addison says, all cheered up, even if she sounds a little offended.

"Of course, but, you are a neonatal surgeon, you don't act surprised against cases that are very..." Derek can't explain, really.

"Plot twist cases?" Addison interrupted him. She knew him too well she could finish his sentences. It was like she could read his mind even miles away.

"Exactly!" He smiles with a little giggle. "I really wish you were here." He says all soft and honest, sighing heavily.

"Me too." Addison says.

"What are you doing?" derek asks curiously.

"Walking our dog. Why?" She asks.

"Nothing important, really. Just curious." He says.

"What are you doing?" Addison asks now.

"Resting on bed, enjoying the voice of my wife's voice." He says all charming. "How are you feeling?"

"I have my little cramps still. Not as bad as earlier. I guess my body is getting used to it, or something." Addison says, annoyed at that issue. She walks with the dog coming back home.

"I really hope it will get better!" Derek says nicely, he really wished her that. Her wellness was his wellness.

"Me too." Addison nods silently, really hoping it could just go away. "Miranda sent you her greetings."

"So nice of her." Derek says politely. "Already had dinner?"

"Derek, why you keep asking those questions? You aren't here to take care of me." She says a little sad.

"Sorry. It's the habit." He laughs.

"I wanna hear about your dinner!" Addison asks, she was excited her husband was having fun, and couldn't deny hearing every detail would make her happy and glad for him.

"It was pretty cool. It's fun when you have other brain surgeons around you, as I said. The food was good. I had Italian."

"Oh, i love Italian!" Addison exclams, she laughs at her excitement.

"I know you do. That's why I thought some day we could come here, I think you would like Chicago. It's kind of like New York." Derek says.

"Babe, no town is like New York, just New York." Addison says, all classy.

"Maybe you're right." He says with a little chuckle.

* * *

She went to sleep late, sharing a good talk with her husband. The theme of her passing out earlier that day, didn't come up at all. She forgot about it and wasn't that worried about it. She was just letting it pass. It's passing. Going. Past.

She doesn't worry, somehow she just kind of denies it? She's denying she passed away. As soon as she tells her goodbyes to Derek, she turns off her phone. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, a hand falling on her forehead. Her dog sleeping on the feet of the bed.

Tomorrow was a new day to survive against annoying interns, bitchy patients, annoying paperwork and messy doctors looking for social activities to do on a Friday.

Maybe Callie or Mark would invite her for some drinks, but she didn't know if she was going to feel up to it.

She tries to take those thoughts out of her head, she tries to focus on Derek for a moment. She misses him. She misses caressing his hair, teasing him because of how he e prepared coffee for her every morning, how cute he was smiling, she missed _him._

Day one without Derek,

Survived.

* * *

Morning gossip was fast. Interns were already talking about the sick neonatal surgeon.

"I swear yesterday she was pale before she fainted." Izzie comments to her friends.

"What do you think it's going on with her? Also, where the hell is McDreamy?" Cristina asks.

"I don't have idea. I gotta find him." Meredith sighs.

"Meredith, he already chose Satan, for the second time. Let him go." Cristina says all sassy.

"He's a McAss." Meredith says.

"He is." George adds.

"Maybe McDreamy is sick at home and Satan is sick now because of him." Izzie says.

"No, she fainted. You were there!" Meredith says. She's kind of jealous Addison was with Derek.

"Then she's knocked up." Cristina says, everyone keeps walking through the corridor. There's a silence.

"I don't think so." George says finally. "I overheard nurses talking about her fertility problems. She's Rutherford's patient."

"Maybe she fixed them up?" Izzie asks.

"Can we talk about something else or someone else?" Meredith asks.

Alex joins them.

"Look, evil spawn." Cristina chuckles a little at Alex' pissed face.

"Don't laugh. Satan and Lucifer are incredibly annoying this morning." Alex says, all pissed off.

"Having fun saving babies?" Izzie laughs.

"Ha. Funny." Alex snaps. Izzie rolls her eyes, so does George.

* * *

It is the third time paging her friend. Okay, fourth. Okay, okay, seventh. Suddenly someone touches her shoulder, finally.

"Kelly! Thank God. I've been paying you." Addison says, resting a hand on her hip. She takes a deep breath.

"Yeah, i noticed. What's the hurry?" Rutherford asks, resting her hands on her pockets. A smile on her face.

"I- i need a consult. Real quick, i swear. For me. It's- I'm afraid i can't bake cupcakes anymore." Addison looks away, checking if there's anyone staring at them. No one. Thank God.

"I'm kind of lost...?" Kelly chuckles a little, but then gets serious and frows at Addison.

"Process." Addison practically begs her.

"Oh. I get you. Wait, why is this? Last time I saw you, you were doing alright." Kelly says.

"Yeah, But maybe I'm not anymore." Addison says, a little sad.

"Let's find out." Kelly gives Addison a smile, trying to make her feel better. Rutherford AKA Lucifer used to be very serious. Addison nods and follows her inside of an exam room. Addison doesn't feel alright, she's just scared. Scared her fairytale will be screwed once again. She was nervous.

Addison couldn't help but feel sad and lonely without Derek by her side telling her she was going to be okay and that if there was something wrong they were going to figure it all out. She needed his support.

"Addison, I don't understand exactly what you want me to do." Kelly chuckles a little, sitting next to her redhead friend on the exam table. "Blood test? Ultrasound? What's up?" Rutherford notices Addison's watery eyes.

"I'm scared I can't procreate anymore, I have many menopause symptoms and I just... I'm tired." Addison says, fighting her tears, she looks away.

Kelly places a hand on her shoulder and rubs it a little, showing her support and appreciation for her friend. "What kind of symptoms?" She asks with a smile, she keeps herself so happy and cheerful, Addison doesn't know how.

But, Kelly knows what's going on. Not for sure, but she has some theories. Addison just looks into Kelly's eyes, scared. Rutherford gets serious and nods. "Let's give you a look, shall we?" The blonde asks. Addison wipes a tear from her cheek and takes place on the exam table.

"If there's something wrong, please say it delicated." Addison begs a little, meanwhile she's pulling her blouse up, over her breasts. She has the idea on her head too, but couldn't admit it to herself.

Rutherford hands addison the gel, Addison applies herself the gel on her flat stomach, what? She's an OB/GYN she knows how to do these kind of things.

"I have faith you are alright." Rutherford confesses, turning on the ultrasound machine. "Calm down, okay?"

Addison takes a deep breath, handing Kelly the gel back.

The ultrasound starts, Addison manages to just close her eyes and takes three deep breaths. "Am I... safe?" Addison can't even pick the right words. She keeps her eyes closed. Rutherford's hand finds her to give it a little squeeze.

"You're great." Kelly says. Addison opens her eyes, finding a smiling blonde woman watching the monitor of the ultrasound. "Four weeks!"

"What?" Addison asks, almost whispering, her voice is almost none, she can't react. She kind of denies it to herself but also keeps telling herself it's real.

The sound of the pulse of her baby fills the room. Addison smiles, her tears leaving her eyes. Kelly interacts a look with her, both giggle nervously.

"I'm pregnant?" She asks, half hesitating, half believing it. Kelly nodded. She was happy. Both friends were happy.

A part of her body is in sorrow Derek can't be in there, looking at that little point on that monitor, squeezing her hand, kissing her lips.

The time stops.

It's just her and her baby's pulse...

Just...

_Them._

**_Review? I would like to know what do you think about this chapter!!! Any ideas for the gender? _**


	17. Chapter 17

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 17_**

_/sorry if I commit mistakes, IM OBVIOUSLY NOT A REAL DOCTOR! \\\ you will probably hate me because of this chapter! Chapter 18 will be better, I SWEAR!!!!_

* * *

"Red!" Mark knocks on the door for the second time. It's nine pm and she's not up to having to deal against Sloan's heart being broken by her friend.

Addison walks over the entrance of her apartment, hesitating opening the door. What the hell? She's gonna open the door anyways. She unlocks the door and opens it a little, she's wearing her pajama pants and Derek's old sweater, the one she loved.

She was wearing the sweater because she missed him a lot, maybe the sweater wasn't helping at all because It had Derek's smell all over it. That was her problem lately, having insomnia because she couldn't stop hugging his pillow lately.

"You look tired." Mark says, serious.

"I am." Addison nods. She opens the door letting him in, he enters and walks inside of the kitchen. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Your friend broke up with me, that's why I'm here." He says.

"Amazing." She rolls her eyes.

"Derek is back tomorrow. You're going to tell him, aren't you?" Mark says, taking a cold beer out of the refrigerator. Addison shuts the door and walks inside of the kitchen, confused.

"How the hell... wait, who the hell told you that I'm pregnant?" Addison asks, her hands resting on her hips, she looks mad at Mark. He laughs.

"I didn't know until now. I just thought maybe you were." He laughs again, exiting the kitchen, she follows him into the living room, Tarek barks at Mark twice. Their dog was getting so big with the time.

"Why you thought so?" Addison asks instantly.

"First you were moody as hell, then you passed out, and yesterday you had to leave in the middle of a surgery to a bathroom. I don't think you needed to pee, that doesn't happen to surgeons like us." Mark brags, touching Tarek's fur.

"Damn... I'm that obvious?" Addison says, sitting on the other couch. She rolls her eyes at herself now, placing a hand on her lower stomach. She already feels maternal and hasn't find a way to tell Derek. She doesn't want to tell him over the phone, obviously.

"You are." Mark nods. Addison wants him to leave her apartment as soon as possible, she's moody, starving and pregnant.

"Ugh, all interns must be talking about it." Addison sighs.

"Do you care?" Mark chuckles, he then takes a sip of his beer.

"No." Addison admits.

"Why you worry then?" He asks. Why couldn't he just leave?

"I like to keep some things to myself, example, this, it's something important for me." Addison says, pointing at her stomach to make some effect.

"Do you know how you will tell Derek about this whole thing?" Mark asks, Tarek walks away from him and crumbles into Addison's lap, being momma's boy as always.

"Mark, we don't have to talk about that and you're shouldn't be here." Addison says, caressing her dog.

"Come on, I'm a family friend! I'll be uncle Mark." He says, trying to make her let him stay there for a minute. She doesn't want him there, and he knows himself he shouldn't be there.

"I don't know yet." Addison says sincerely, placing two fingers on her temple, stressed already.

"You should start thinking about it quickly, because he's back tomorrow and he's gonna notice the morning sickness." Mark says, leaving his beer on the coffee table next to him.

"Good job on stressing the pregnant lady." She says, rolling her eyes.

"Good one." He giggles.

"Mark, you really should go." Addison insists, she doesn't want the whole Mark thing to repeat, she's not allowing herself to do it, but she doesn't feel comfortable with his presence in there.

"Why? Are you cheating on Derek with another guy and I don't know about it?" He jokes.

"Don't be silly. Kelly is on her way back, she went to buy somethings and she near on coming back." Addison explains the situation, his eyes widen.

"Why is she here? I mean, why is she coming?" Mark asks right away.

"We are friends, spending some time together." Addison says, playing with the dog's cute ears.

"Is this some kind of sleepover I was not invited to?" Mark laughs. He's obviously annoyed his ex lover is with his ex ex lover and wife of his best friend.

"She broke up with you." Addison says.

"Sh! If anyone asks, it was a mutual decision, okay?" Mark says, stepping up from the couch.

"Mark, people can't be that foolish by such a cheap lie." Addison looks down to Tarek and keeps playing light games with him while Mark keeps being annoying as usual.

_Why did I even open the door?_

"Come on red, I will keep your whole... _preggo theme_ as a secret and you do this for me." Mark offers.

_Preggo theme? Seriously? Who says 'preggo'!?_

"Just go home, go get some sleep and don't bother me anymore. I don't want to hear about your romantic dramas or whatever Rutherford has been for you. Okay? So, go home and don't say a word about my messy... preggo theme." She quotes him.

"Fine. You win." Mark rolls his eyes, approaching Addison, kissing her cheek and then running one of his hands through the dog's skin. He grabs the beer from the coffee table. "See you around." He says.

"See you." Addison says back. Mark nods and leaves the apartment finally.

That jerk was so right. She had to find a way to let Derek know about the pregnancy, something special, right? But, she wanted it to be kind of casual, not such a big thing. She started struggling.

The doorbell. Tarek jumps out of her lap, running at the principal door, he keeps himself silent, something Derek had to start teaching him, being silent. It's probably Callie and Kelly.

Addison steps up from the couch and walks to the door. Yes, her friends are here. She opens the door.

"We're back!" Callie says in excitement, holding three cups, two of coffee and one of hot cocoa.

"Yes, you are." Addison says, closing the door as soon as they both stepped inside of the apartment.

The three of them enter the kitchen, Callie leaves the two coffees on the kitchen table, and gives Addison her cocoa. "Here you have." Callie says.

"Thanks." Addison replies, resting her free hand on her hip, Derek walks into the kitchen too, taking place next to the oven, where he rarely likes to rest at when Derek is cooking and Addison is handing him the ingredients he needs, stuff like that.

"We saw Mark at the parking lot. Was he here?" Kelly asks, taking some ice cream and also bananas out of the bag.

"Yeah, he stopped by. He's so annoying, somehow he guessed I'm pregnant." She tells her friends.

"Yeah... about that, you should try to hide it more. It kind of seems way too evident these days." Callie says, drinking from her cup of coffee.

"I'm not even showing yet." Addison chuckles.

"But the symptoms show a lot." Kelly adds, taking also a sip from her coffee. "I can't stay the whole night though."

"Same. I also don't want to be here when baby daddy gets here tomorrow morning." Callie laughs. Addison nods with a laugh.

"If people already can guess it, Derek will realize soon too, that's why I need a plan." Addison sighs, sipping her cocoa.

"Maybe just bring it up on a conversation?" Kelly suggests.

"No, that's quite boring. Just, surprise him!" Callie says. "I don't know, try something you've never heard." Callie keeps suggesting.

Suddenly Naomi's name pops into her mind. She hasn't called her yet, she has had promised her she would call as soon as she got knocked up, it's been four days and she doesn't know yet.

"Addison?" Kelly tries to catch her attention. She was obviously thinking about her med school best friend.

"Sorry. I... i was thinking about something else. Do you mind I call someone? I don't wanna be rude." Addison says, leaving her cocoa on the table, reaching for her phone on her pocket.

"I don't mind, I gotta go now anyways." Kelly says with a weak smile.

"Oh, you're already leaving?" Callie asks.

"Yeah I'm sorry, but, see you two tomorrow." Callie and Addison nod at her.

"Do you mind I go with you? It's you or the chance of finding a good cab this late." Callie chuckles a little.

"Not at all. I'll take you home, let's go." Kelly says, checking if she has everything. Addison feels so happy she has two friends that support her pregnancy cravings.

"Bye, I'll see you tomorrow." Addison says, kissing their cheeks before scolting them to the door. She's alone again.

She's back on her plan, calling Naomi. She dials her number, leaving the ice cream inside of the refrigerator, going to bed with her cocoa in hand, waiting for Naomi to answer her damn call.

"Naomi? Nae?" Addison asks when the phone is finally answered. "Hello?"

"Addison?" Naomi laughs.

"Where are you?" Addison asks curious, maybe she was busy having a hot date or she was tired.

"I was doing some paperwork, how have you been!?" Naomi asks with excitement, leaving back on her chair, happy to hear from Addie.

"I am incredible! I was calling as I promised." Addison says in excitement and happiness. She can't stop smiling.

"Addie! Explain yourself. I'm not following! We haven't talked in such a long while." Naomi replies, a little confused.

"Derek knocked me up." Addison can't believe how informal that was, but, she's in confidence talking to Naomi.

"Addie! Ahh! Oh my God!" Naomi screams in excitement, standing up from her chair, walking through her office, sitting on her desk.

"I know!" Addison says, nodding, taking a little bit of her hair off her face. She smiled brightly once again. She was admitting it, not ignoring it anymore, now she was welcoming all of this new feelings.

"You're pregnant." Naomi says, serious.

"I can't believe it either." Addison says, caressing Tarek's fur. Enjoying herself.

"You know what? I had a gut." Naomi says honestly.

"You did?" Addison asks curious, with a laugh, she misses Naomi more than ever.

"Yeah! When did you find out?" Naomi asks, she smiles, she really wishes Addison could get to see how happy she is, she wishes she could hug Addison tightly and screaming in excitement with her.

"Four days ago." Addison tells her.

"Did you tell Derek yet?" Naomi asks, it was important for Derek to know, right?

"No, I will tomorrow, he was out of town." Addison says. Naomi nods, understanding.

"I'm so happy for you, Addie. I need to go visit you as soon as possible." Naomi says. Addison's heart feels so warm, she can't wait anymore, she really wants to hug Naomi and just, spend time with her old friend. The feeling of satisfaction after taking it off of her chest, it feels beautiful.

Almost five am, the doorbell wakes her up. The first thing she feels is Tarek jumping off from the bed, running through the corridor until reaching the door. The sound of someone unlocking the door made her know he was back. "Hey buddy!" She heard Derek greeting their dog.

She steps up from bed slowly, nausea hits her awfully, she runs into the bathroom, she's thankful she had enough time to reach the toilet. She gives herself a quick brushing of theeth.

Her stomach is empty now. She hated morning sickness. She washes her face before leaving the bathroom. She gets outside of her room, spotting Derek on the entrance, taking his coat off.

"Derek!" She exclams all happy, she doesn't run, she walks quickly, not waiting to hug him, he smiles at her. "You're back." They embrace.

"I missed you" Derek says, kissing her forehead and then pecking her lips.

"I missed you too." She hugs him again. She's incredibly happy at his arrival. Five days felt like forever. An eternity.

"I missed your smell." He chuckles a little, hugging her again.

"Me too, even though your pillow still has your smell." Why does she sound so cheesy. He chuckles a little, stroking her red hair. "How was Chicago!?"

"It was great!" Derek says, he's happy to have her on his arms again.

"I'm glad to hear that." She pecks his lips. She missed doing that. She missed his touch. His warm hands.

"Did I wake you up?" Derek asks, breaking the hug, he notices her bright smile, she's so happy and glad he's finally back.

"You Did." She teases him, smiling at him still.

"Sorry for that." He caresses her shoulder.

"Are you jet lag?" She asks. She asked the whole morning off so she could at least have some hours of sleep next to her husband, she just wanted to be around him.

"Yeah, I totally am." He says, taking off his shoes, following Addison inside of their room.

"You should get some sleep." Addison advices him, he smiles at her, getting inside of their closet, looking for pajamas to wear. She goes to bed to get ready for cuddling for a little, when he's back Addison is already sleeping.

"Addie? Already asleep?" He chuckles a little, taking place on his side of the bed, getting closer to her, embracing her. She gets comfortable still asleep on his arms. She feels safe, her soul feels safe.

* * *

"Hey, you've been acting weirder and weirder." Arizona says, stopping Addison in the middle of a corridor.

"Why do you think so?" Addison asks, was she that evident?

"I heard some nurses..." Arizona looks away, smiling still, being the sweetpie she always was.

"You mean, gossip?" Addison kind of snaps. Mood swings.

"Pretty much, Yeah. I saw Derek is back!" Arizona admits and then looks into Addison's eyes, still smiling brightly.

"Yeah." Addison nods, she's not comfortable talking about her pregnancy in the middle of the hospital, it wasn't ideal.

"Aren't you excited?" Arizona asks, jumping a little.

"For what?" Addison is now so lost, she just wants to go and check on her thirty three weeks patient.

"Telling Derek about this?" Arizona points at her stomach. Addison looks around, at least no one is staring, everyone keeps walking, passing through the corridors, checking charts.

"God... who told you?" Addison rest a hand on her hip.

"Oh, so it's true? Because I guessed!" Arizona says excited. Addison presses two fingers on her temple. Was this happening for real?

"Wait, what did you guess?" Addison now has both of her hands on her hips, still looking around. She didn't want any interns to talk about what they heard from Robbins.

"Oven cooking cupcakes." Arizona has her hands on her pockets.

"Why everyone uses that metaphor!?" Addison is still serious, irritated.

"You really are baking a cupcake? I was just kidding!"

"Don't say it out loud, Derek doesn't know yet!"

"Why? He's not the baby daddy?" Arizona says playfully, making a speechless expression.

"Arizona..." Addison adores her friend, but, it was already way too much.

"I wanna know everything." Arizona says.

"I'm five weeks. And Derek is the daddy, but I don't want to talk about it now, in the middle of a hallway, the walls have ears." Addison explains slowly, she's praying there's no interns behind her or next to her or gossiping nurses near.

"I'm so happy to hear that!" Arizona says, hugging Addison.

"Don't brag about it, I beg you." Addison says, after breaking the hug. She liked hugs. They made her feel safe. Made them, now they were two inside of one. If that makes sense.

"I will not. Promise." Arizona winks at Addison. Addison nods. "I gotta go! See you two soon." Addison gives Arizona her best smile, the blonde woman goes away on her rollers.

* * *

Derek is tired, every single doctor asks how the conventions were, he keeps showing smiles and nodding when people say 'that must have been awesome'.

Lots of things are going through his head, he has pendant surgeries, paperwork to do. He doesn't know if he will be available to go home at time so he could spend some time with Addison, or at least some time to rest his ass after a long day of work.

Interns bothering. That was another thing he really didn't want to deal with. Meredith Grey on his services again wasn't ideal at all. Mark looking weird at him the whole morning, with that silly smirk that he hated. It was irritating.

He has a surgery with Preston Burke, a case with a very high risk for the patient to die and they think they can make it. Cristina Yang getting in the middle all the time, Preston is obviously focused on her, and hasn't had time to talk to Derek about the procedure.

Derek is already stressed and tired. Coming back and having so many things to do, being jet lag all the time, and Addison being kind of distant that morning.

He was feeling as his wife would say, _not in the mood._

"Doctor Shepherd, I'm going to go and prepare Levi Mavroski for his surgery that's scheduled in forty seven more minutes." Meredith informs Derek, finding him while walking through the corridor of the neurological wing of the hospital.

Derek smiles at the intern, as a noble gesture, nothing else. He was just trying to be nice. He hated teaching actually, he was much more of a dedicated surgeon that didn't really want to explain every movement he was doing with the scalpel.

"Good to know. Hey, do you know if the other doctor Shepherd is on surgery or anything like that?" Derek asks Meredith, considering she may have checked the board of who was going to use the ORs today.

"She... she must be free by now." Meredith says a little uncomfortable. She obviously didn't like Addison, she was the wife after all, right? The woman who took Derek away from her.

"Okay, thank you." Derek nods with that charming smile, the McDreamy charms were incredibly slaying that intern. He kept walking away from her, looking for the nearest elevator to go to the neonatal wing.

To see _her_.

"I saw your hubby near the building." Mark stops by an exam room where Addison is checking a patient. Addison rolls her eyes, she was busy. He was doing that smirk that she hated.

"Mark, not now. I'm busy." Addison says, coming back on checking that woman. Mark nodded, waiting on the door. "Okay, you gotta come in two more weeks and I will be able to tell you the gender. Call me if you need any advice." Addison tells her patient. The woman nods.

As soon as Addison is outside of her consult, she looks at Mark with that hateful face, bitchy. Resting bitch face. Mark laughs.

"I can't keep your secret as a secret any longer. Derek is back, daddy is here." Mark jokes. Addison rolls her eyes.

"Don't you ever dare saying a word about this." Addison points at him with her finger.

"I can't keep my mouth shut that much time, Addie." Mark has to admit playing with her is funny. She looks around, and pushes Mark inside of a supply closet.

Derek saw her red hair before she closed the door behind her back, he was looking for her. It was odd seeing her getting locked inside of a supply closet these days.

"Don't be a jerk, you already ruined my marriage once, you aren't ruining the announce of my child now." She loves how that sounds... _my child. _"so you're gonna keep your mouth shut until I say so." She says firmly. Her angry part blooming. The supply closet it's small, so she barely can breathe normally.

The door opens, Mark and Addison look at the same time at Derek standing in there, confused. Derek's eyes widen. What is going on?

"Okay... This is awkward." Mark says. Addison rolls her eyes.

"Derek..." Addison is going to start speaking.

"What is this?" Derek asks, amused. Is she cheating once again? That would explain her being distant this morning after waking up.

"Nothing, I swear." Addison says, getting out of the supply closet, begging Derek to believe her, because it was true. "I was..."

"You were what?" Derek asks firmly.

"It was nothing, Derek. She was just threatening me." Mark says.

"About?" Derek looks at Mark, still mad.

"I broke Rutherford's heart." Mark admits. It wasn't true, but, he was saving Addison.

"I swear it was nothing." Addison says, trying to hold his hand. He takes it away.

"I'm not sure yet." Derek says all pissed off, walking away from his wife and friend.

"Derek!" Addison calls his name. Mark looks at Addison with a _'sorry I screwed up'_ face.

* * *

"Derek! Derek, you can't keep ignoring me. It was nothing." Addison says when Derek takes place on the driver's seat. He doesn't look at her.

"Then what was going on inside of there? Because Mark has never be depressed after ending something with a chick." Derek looks at her now, he's mad, disappointed.

"Arguing." Addison says simply, Derek tilts his head, serious.

"Arguing?" Derek asks. It was already late, Addison was hungry and tired, Derek was tired and irritable, also upset.

"We were arguing." Addison nods, crossing her arms over her chest, should she just say it?

"About what, Addison?" Derek asks firmly, his voice a little bit raised.

"I just don't want to talk about it." Addison says, softly.

"Then when will we talk about it?" He replies, nasty, loudly, rudely.

"I don't know. Not this way. Not with you yelling at me like I'm some kind of animal that doesn't have feelings." Addison exclaims, exploding. She's stressed and tired of this whole mess.

"Addison, what is the big deal?!" Derek asks once again. Addison looks away. There's a long unpleasant silence.

"Can we please just... go home." Addison says, her voice weak, she's about to start sobbing, and she doesn't want to face Derek at all. He can't see her this way. She wants to let him know everything.

"Fine." He says firmly, taking the key's out of his pocket. Through the whole way home, Addison doesn't talk to Derek, Derek doesn't talk to Addison, there's no communication.

There's a conflict.

An argument that has... _needs_ to be fixed.

* * *

It's been two days. Busy days.

"Addison?" Derek wakes up, Addison is not right next to him on bed and he worries. He hears her trying to catch her breath, she's inside of the bathroom.

It's almost seven am, both had the morning off. She really doesn't want him to find her in this state.

"Addison." He says, approaching the bathroom, the door is half open. He looks through the mirror, the first thing he spots is her red hair, she's obviously puking. "Hey, are you okay?" He opens the door, immediately starting to hold her hair.

Addison just kept puking, stupid morning sickness. Her best intents on not being evidently pregnant were now failing, in that exact instant.

"I'm fine." She closes her eyes taking a deep breath. Derek rubs her back, they are still in the middle of a stupid argument, but he still cares about his wife.

"You don't seem like it." Derek says. She keeps herself silent, washes her face, takes a deep breath. She rinses her mouth and pulls the toilet chain.

Derek watches her doing all of this, she's weak, he can notice, she's not alright, she's sick.

Addison sits down on the cold floor of the bathroom, letting her back rest against the bath tub. Derek sits next to her, he places a hand on her knee.

"I really am fine." Addison nods, her voice weak.

"Are you sick? Any idea why you are puking?" Derek asks. Addison rolls her eyes and giggles nervously.

"Now you talk to me." Addison looks around, ironic he now communicated with her. "Derek I know you are upset, but you can't keep ignoring me. I told you nothing happened."

"Why you don't tell me the real reason why?" Derek asks.

"Derek, please." Addison begs him to stop this behavior coming from him. He rolls his eyes and laughs in irony. "Okay, Fine. Fine!"

"You're going to tell me?" Derek asks.

"Yeah. I mean, no. Kind of." Addison starts to stress herself already, maybe she should just... make the bomb explode?

"I'm not following." Derek says sincerely, looking into her eyes.

"I'm... the thing is, I..." Addison can't pick the right words.

"What?" Derek asks once again.

"He, Mark... he knows a secret of mine. It's important and I will... I promise I will tell you." Addison says, closing her eyes.

"Why don't you tell me yet?" Derek asks. Addison really should have told him before any of this mess could happen.

"Because it's not something you can just... say." Addison tries to explain, opening her eyes slowly.

"Addie..." he's losing his temper once again.

"Look, Derek, I don't want to keep arguing either, but I just can't just... I can't... I mean, I can, but it would be way too rude or... just not _ideal._" Addison tries to explain her thoughts. He nods in disappointment.

"You're hiding me something. Worst of all seems to be something pretty much important for you. Why can't I know?" Derek asks once again, he will keep insisting. She knows he's stubborn and she knows he's gonna use her words agains herself.

"It's not that simple." Addison sighs.

"You see? I do what you ask me to do..." there it comes, Derek using her words against herself "... I'm trying not to run away and you are paying me this way. I'm trying my best here, Ads." Derek tries again.

"I can't keep doing this." Addison steps up from the cold floor.

He sits in there for a minute, what did she do that she can't just... say it? Is it _that_ bad? Any motive to make him want to leave her?

All he really knew was that he still loved her, and he wanted to stop arguing and take that weight off of his shouiders. He feels blind. Is there anything else he can do to make her talk? Anything else?

His pager sounds.

"Webber is paging you 911." Addison yells from the bedroom. He sighs, stepping up from the floor, walking inside of his closet quickly, taking some clothes to go to the hospital and help whoever was there and needed his help.

"Call me." Addison says, seeing Derek coming out of their walk in closet all dressed up. She really wishes she could just... say it. _I'm pregnant, Derek. _

Derek doesn't reply, walking out of their room. Addison follows him, she wants to speak, she wants to let it go and just say it out loud and stop keeping it to herself. She stands in front of him, seeing how he takes his keys, checks the hour...

He pecks her lips, like a habit, he nods and then leaves quickly.

"Wait." Addison stops him, he looks at her, no expression on his face. He's serious and pissed. "You're taking your car with you?" Addison asks, innocent. He rolls his eyes, what a silly question.

She tried her best on telling him, but, she ended up asking whatever her mind could figure out to say as soon as possible.

"Yeah." He says, now he leaves completely, closing the door behind his back.

He feels guilty after being so rude with her, she was obviously dealing with something big, but he couldn't stop behaving this way. It was inevitable. He was also hurt. He couldn't stop wondering why Mark knew, why did the ex lover knew it? Why did he? For real?

He runs into his car as soon as he can, getting inside of it as soon as he can, there's a life to save and he's being late. By now that dude could be dead, depending what's going on with him. Crap, maybe they already helped the patient and he's stressing out because of nothing.

He just drives...

He gets to the hospital. The chief stops him as soon as he sees him.

"What's wrong?! What's going on?! I got paged 911." Derek says quickly, he rans a hand through his hard, he's stressed, almost sweating.

"Derek." Richard tries to calm him down, or just shut his mouth up.

"Richard you paged me 911, what's the emergency!?" Derek looks around, everything seems calm besides himself, who was freaking out in adrenaline.

"We got a patient transferred from New York." Richard says. Oh no, this sounds like condolences.

"What?" Derek is confused as hell. Maybe a sister of his? Maybe... a nephew? What was going on?

"I didn't page Addison, because it's not her area and I know this will destroy her." Richard says, calmly, walking with Derek.

"Richard, What the hell happened?" Derek asks, catching his breath after running from the parking lot to the lobby of the hospital.


	18. Chapter 18

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 18_**

"Bizzy is here?" Derek asks, he rans a hand through his hair, then he covers his mouth with the same hand, denying it with the head. Richard nods. Both know Addison will be destroyed.

Archer walks by. "Where is my sister?" He asks Derek. "I thought you would page her." Archer says to Richard.

"Archer..." Derek wants to start talking.

"No! Where is she?! Our mother is dying inside of that exam room and she will not be here to say goodbye. Page my damn sister." He raises his voice.

"You are a Doctor, Archer! You know there's hopes left." Derek yells at him.

"Enough!" Richard shuts them both up.

"Page my sister, now. Let her know." Archer says firmly, pointing at Richard.

Now the captain walks and stops in there, Richard goes away, noticing this is some kind of important familiar reunion.

The captain is looking at Derek with that hateful look. "Where's Addie?" He asks in concern, still firm.

"She's at home." Derek says simply.

"Call her." The captain says. He's sad, in sorrow. Still trying to show himself all macho.

"I can't just call her! Her mother is in there, she's gonna be devasted." Derek says.

"She has to find out either way." Archer demands.

"You all shut up!" Bizzy yells at them from her room, all men look at her. "Enough."

"Bizzy..." Derek gets inside of the room, being followed by the Montgomery men.

"Take your time on calling our Ads." She says simply. She was never the perfect mom, she never treated Derek the best way. She was a cold rich bitch. Derek nodded, it was good to know she also agreed with him.

Addison walks inside of the hospital at the hour she had to be in there, on time for some appointments. She's tired, being pregnant was tiring her, and there was no caffeine for her to make her wake upi completely. Her energy was low, her morning sickness was awful, her night sweat was incredibly annoying, the mood swings... and well, she wasn't that bothered by the art of being starving every two minutes.

She's wearing her white robe as always, walking through corridors, having to deal with a lot of looks this morning. _What's wrong with you people?_

She wasn't showing herself happy or sad, she was neutral. She felt so bad because of this whole arguing thing with Derek, her insecurities were making her feel uncomfortable all the time. Callie runs into her when she arrives at the neuro wing. She's serious.

"Addison..." Callie starts talking. Addison looks worried and confused at her friend. Callie shows her condolences for sure, patting her shoulder, and then walking away. She doesn't have idea what's going on.

"Addison?" A familiar voice calls her, she turns around, spotting his older brother.

"Archer?! Hi." Addison smiles at her brother, approaching to him and hugging him. He squeezes her a little; both needed a hug. She's suddenly received by a bad energy and she can feel it.

"Addie, did Derek call you?" Archer is curious about why she's in here, the neuro area.

"No, he didn't. That's actually why I'm looking for him, we argued and I need to find him." Addison explains. "I'm so glad to see you, what's up?" Addison can sense and see te sadness on her brother's face.

"Addie... it's... Bizzy is sick." Archer says. Addison blinks and then just, she even forgets how to breathe. She's alarmed. If her family came all the way from New York to Seattle on the search of good doctors, that meant this was something awful, a very bad disease. Something was wrong.

"Archer stop It, it's not funny." Addison says, she's serious. She looks around her, interns are looking at her, nurses are also staring at the Montgomery siblings.

"I'm being real." Archer says, he's sorry. A hand touches Addison's shoulder, she rolls and meets her father.

"Dad..." her eyes are watery. "Is she...?" She can't talk now.

"She's fine. They are examinating her right now." The Captain says, caressing her shoulder. Derek walks out of Bizzy's room, spotting Addison, she's breaking into pieces, slowly.

"Derek..." Her tears coming out of her eyes, he walks quickly approaching to her, embracing her. She hugs him back, squeezing him hardly, letting her tears go down her cheeks. She's letting it all go. "Is she okay? What does she have? Is she gonna make it?" Addison starts talking after breaking the hug.

"Addie... take it easy." Derek rubs her arm, she looks down to her feet and holds back some of her tears.

"Am I allowed to see her?" Addison asks, looking into Derek's eyes.

"Of course." Derek nods, giving her a weak smile. She nods, wiping a tear with her thumb. They both enter the room, Bizzy smiles very weakly at her, Addison tries her best not showing herself weak. She can't even shed a tear inside of this room, not in her presence.

"Mother... I..." She doesn't have words. Was it okay to call her _mother_?

"Addison." She says firmly. "I'm dying." She says coldly.

"Don't... don't say that." Addison begs, approaching the bed she was resting on. Seeing her mother surrounded by those machines, all weak and pale, but she was still stubborn and too proud.

Bizzy gives Addison a weak smile. "What? Do you want me to lie?" Bizzy says, still cold.

"It's not funny." Addison says. Derek moves a chair next to Addison so she can seat. She sits down.

"It's true." Bizzy says. Theres silence, Derek leaves the room silent, not saying a word, knowing both Forbes women needed a moment.

After a long time Addison steps out of the room, she crosses her arms over her chest. "Archer, she _demands_ to talk to you." Addison rolls her eyes.

"Why the hell didn't you call me?!" Addison yells at him, closing the door of her apartment. She walks, Upset, taking place on the couch in the living room. Derek follows her.

"You were going to be devasted, we were arguing. It didn't feel right!" He yells back. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"So instead I had to find it myself." Addison rolls her eyes. There's a silence, they both look at each other eyes, both serious.

"Are we even?" He breaks the silence, her eyes widen.

"Even? Are you being serious, Derek?" Addison stands up from the couch, he looks serious at her, running his fingers through his hair, looking at the floor.

"What do you want from me?" Derek asks. There's a silence, it gets filled by addison, taking a deep breath.

"I can't understand why you didn't call me. She is my mother. I have never asked that woman anything in my whole life besides being feed when I was a child, I have never ever asked her for any favors, and now... _now_ that I need her to be alive it... she... her body decides to do this not only to her, to me and us and _him or her!_" Addison starts yelling. She's mad at the universe, Derek just looks confused at that crazy redhead woman, who's walking around the living room, doing gestures with her arms and hands.

"Addie..." Derek tries to calm her down.

"She was... is, a cold bitch! She never game me and Archer the love and joy we deserved as kids, that's probably why we are so fucked up, aren't we? I am a cheater, Archer a womanizer." Addison yells.

"Addison." Derek tries to make her calm down.

"She never left my father, she made me and Archer suffer more than anything." Addison keeps venting, Derek knows she is not stopping, which is why he sits down on the couch and sighs heavily. He really doesn't understand some things she's saying.

"Addison, please! Calm down!" Derek stands up from the couch after she's been for half hour talking crap about her family, he holds her by the shoulders. She starts crying.

"I'm scared she will not be able to meet her grandchild." Addison cries, her eyes filled by tears.

"Addison, what are you talking about?" Derek asks, looking into her watery eyes. She smiles weakly, but she smiles the best way she can.

"Everything is so screwed up, Derek. She has a freaking Meningioma, that damn thing is killing my mother." Addison rans a hand through her hair.

"Addison, can you please let me know what the hell is going on with you?!" Derek focused on what she said earlier.

"You saw that huge tumor, Derek. We both she's going to die." Addison yells, trying not to cry her eyes out, trying to keep the tears inside of her eyes. "I'm scared. She never taught me anything about being a mother, what am I saying? She's not even gonna see me getting fat and she will never get to tease me about it!"

"What's going on?" Derek asks softly, approaching to her, holding her by the elbows.

"I'm pregnant." There it is. She said it. She finally did.

"Are you being serious?" Derek is speechless. She nods. She's guilty she found happiness in the middle of such a hard moment.

He wraps his arms around her, hugging her tightly. This is all they wanted, all he wanted and she wanted. Everything starts turning even much more real for Addison. She can help but smile purely. She keeps hugging Derek.

"Is this what you have been hiding?" Derek asks, breaking the hug. She nods.

"I wanted to let you know differently... much more special." Addison explains, wiping a tear from her eye.

"Honey, it didn't matter how you told me or not; the news are the important stuff, this is wonderful." Derek smiles at Addison. She nods understanding. He kisses her lips, a cute and sweet kiss.

He places a hand on her stomach after kissing her. "How many weeks?" She's glad he took it so okay.

"Yesterday I got to five weeks." Addison says in excitement. She feels thankful for a minute, maybe it was cruel to focus theirselves onto another news than Bizzy right now.

"Addison... you're making me a father." He smiles. Addison's crying now again. "What's wrong?"

"I really want to have this baby and brag on my mother's face what an amazing mother I am." Addison chuckles a little through tears.

"Oh, Addie... come here." He says, hugging her. She feels so good being comforted by those two big and strong arms. "You will get to brag it on Bizzy's face as much as you want to."

"Don't say that." Addison's tears coming down her cheeks.

"I will do my best inside of that OR to save her." Derek nods at her, stroking her hair to make her feel calmer.

"I love you." Addison whispers, holding back tears again.

"I love you too". He said sweetly, kissing her temple.

She was an emotional rollercoaster, she was no longer comfortable. She breaks the hug. "I'm sorry for spoiling this but... I'm experiencing some very annoying pregnancy symptoms." She says.

"Tender breasts?" Derek chuckles, wiping a tear that was on her cheek, he hated seeing her this hurt.

"Bingo." She laughs between tears. Derek chuckles. "Don't laugh, it's not funny."

"You're cute when you're delicate." Derek kissed her forehead.

"I'm tired." She admits.

"Wanna go to bed?" Derek asks, caressing her arm.

"Yeah... I'm overwhelmed." Addison says, looking forward taking some rest. "Sorry I yelled at you. You know I'm..."

"I know." He nods, reaching for her hand to hold. She looks down to their holding hands and smiles a little. He squeezed her hand and walked with her inside of their room. "Are you alright?"

"No, I'm... I'm not okay." Addison says, she looks away. She's being honest.

"Come here." He says, embracing her. She falls into his arms. He knew she was going to end up devasted after hearing the news.

* * *

"So, he knows?" Arizona asks, both women with their hands inside their robe pockets. Addison was serious, her morning was starting like always lately, leaving her stomach empty.

"Yeah." Addison nods, still walking through the corridor next to Robbins.

"And, how's your mom?" The blondie asks.

"I don't know. I haven't went downstairs to see her." Addison says honest. She was concerned about her mother, which made her feel devasted as soon as she would be able to see her with all of those machines around her.

"You should, Right? I mean, if you feel up to it. She's your mom, ya know..." Arizona says.

"She's not like other moms... she's... cold and bitchy and too proud to show herself weak. She could make my brother travel to the other side of the world to get her the tea she wants." Addison says.

"Sounds like a big deal." Arizona says, still smiling. She was always smiling, in a good mood.

"She really is." Addison chuckles at that.

* * *

"There was a hot guy talking to Addison this morning, maybe she's cheating again?" Izzie asks, filling her mouth with peanuts.

"I don't know who that was, but, Addison's family is here." Cristina says. All eyes widen, except from Alex, who didn't really give a crap about any of their stupid gossip.

"Her family? Here?" Meredith asks, she's speechless, everyone is speechless. Why Satan's clan was in town?

Alex never participated of the stupid gossip, but he rolled his eyes anyways after hearing those moroons talking shit about she - Shepherd, Alex was thankful she saw some potential on him as an OB/GYN.

"Yeah, Burke mentioned something about it. Mcdreamy is operating on Satan's mother, that's what I understood." Cristina says, she doesn't mind being part of the gossip.

"She must be devasted." Izzie says, looking at Addison, far away from them at the cafeteria, she's drinking orange juice, while Derek talks to her.

"She seems alright." George adds.

"No one asked for your reviews, Bambi." Cristina says, drinking her coffee. George managed to keep himself shut and look at his plate.

"Maybe that's why she's been so emotional." Izzie says. "What have you seen, Alex? You work with her most of the time." Izzie looks at Alex, who just listens but really doesn't process.

"Ah?" Alex looks up to Izzie.

"Do you know what's going on with She - Shepherd?" Izzie asks, insisting to know. Cristina rolls her eyes over how stupid Alex could be.

"I don't know, she disappears sometimes." Alex says simply, and then goes back on eating. "It's not like I notice or I care."

"We know, Evil Spawn." Cristina says, she and Meredith laugh a little.

"Her disseaparences would explain why the hottie is here." Meredith says.

"You say... this new guy must be her new lover?" George asks.

"You got it right, Georgie." Cristina laughs, still pissing him off.

"You are rude." George mutters.

"Thank you." Cristina says, putting a hand over her chest.

"So, she's definitely cheating with mister hottie." Izzie diagnoses the situation.

"Poor Derek." Meredith says. "He doesn't deserve satan to break his heart."

"Meredith, please don't get romantic over him again." Izzie rolls her eyes.

"You and McDreamy is over." Cristina agrees with Izzie.

"It didn't seem like it at prom." Meredith says.

"It's been months." Cristina says. "He's into She - Shepherd, he's not coming back to you. If he does come back for you after finding out about Addison and this _guy, _then he is a real jerk." Cristina says.

"George is right, you're mean." Meredith says.

Meanwhile at Addison's and Derek's table, he was telling her all the progress her mother was going through.

"If she keeps herself this way, I might be able to operate on Friday." Derek says to Addison, she smiles and then comes back to show a serious resting bitch face. "You can't keep ignoring the fact that Bizzy is sick, Addison."

"I can try." She answers sassy.

"Ouch." He says.

"Sorry, I'm just... tired of this. You know how I feel about this whole mess." Addison looks down to her salad.

"I know." Derek nods.

"I feel like this is all on my shoulders. If you fail I fail, and If I fail they hate us, they hate me. Archer and the Captain could hate me forever." Addison takes that off of her chest.

"I wish I could do something else to help you." He says, holding her hand across the table.

"It's okay, you're doing already enough by trying to save her. It's all you can do. Be the best neurosurgeon." Addison smiles a little, looking into his eyes.

"Are you thinking on telling her?" Derek asks, referring about the pregnancy, obviously.

"Not yet." Addison says.

"You should." Derek replies.

"Don't worry, I promised myself I will tell her soon. Maybe it will light up the mood, I overheard some nurses that attend her, saying that she's been moody." Addison chuckles at the end of that sentence.

"Isn't that something classic of her?" Derek squeezes her hand and offers a warm, bright smile.

"It is something classic of Bizzy Forbes." Addison nods and laughs with him. She loved that somehow he could make her feel positive and beautiful in the middle of a dark time. She takes a bite of her salad.

"Are we... telling people?" Derek asks Addison. She looks into his eyes and giggles nervously, she doesn't like talking about the whole theme while being at work.

"Until now, just six people know, and if i include him or her, seven." Addison says, drinking a sip of her juice.

"Rutherford knows, Callie and Mark, right? Who's the other person besides us?" Derek asks, looking straight into her eyes.

"Robbins." Addison adds.

"Right... Robbins." derek nods.

"I will tell you when I'm ready to spill it. Okay?" Addison gives him a real smile.

"Okay. I think Nancy will freak out when we tell her." Derek chuckles a little.

"I never thought about it until now... this might make Carolyn hate me even more." Addison laughs at her own joke.

"She doesn't hate you." Derek points at her.

"She does." Addison tilts her head.

"Yeah, a bit." Derek says, both laugh at that one.

* * *

"Archer, What the hell are you doing here?" Addison asks Archer, her brother, who's watching her working on some paperwork she needs to have done today. He rests on the entry of her office, exactly where gossiping nurses look at.

"Came to apologize for yesterday when I went crazy and I just yelled at you." Archer says, his arms crossed resting over his chest.

"You don't have to." Addison takes off her glasses, it's been a rough day. "I mean, I appreciate that you have the honor and proud to come here and apologize to me after calling me _cold bitch _and _selfish_ _hoe." _Addison quotes him.

They had a huge fight inside of an on call room yesterday after she saw Bizzy. Archer was mad at her, how dare her she changed her number to not have contact with any of the Forbes Montgomery side, how dare she moved to the awful rainy Seattle when she had a gorgeous house in brownstone, how dare she screwed everything up with Derek.

Both exploded over that fight yesterday, and people and nurses talked about it. The hot dude that locked himself inside of an on call room with Addison Shepherd.

"Yeah, Sorry about that scandal." Archer says.

"How's mom?" Addison asks, she's surprised herself she asked that.

"Scared but to proud to admit it, you know her." Archer says.

"Sure." Addison nods.

"We needed the best brain surgeon, Addison." Archer says, he knows Addison is dealing with this, worst of all we are talking about her husband operating on her mother. She felt like the glue of the family.

"I get it. You should have call me." Addison looks up to her brother.

"I know. We didn't want you to freak out." Archer says.

"Either way I was going to freak out, you know that, you know me better than that. How's dad holding up?" Addison says, she's in internal pain, her heart aches.

"He's not so cool about it. It's hard for everyone. He's at his hotel room, probably drinking his precious scotch." Archer chuckles.

"Or sleeping with the bar tender." Addison jokes, both siblings laugh at that one.

"I'm pretty much sure that bar just has male bar tenders." Archer says.

"Do you think that could stop him?" Addison laughs. Archer nods and laughs with his sister. She missed Archer, but having him near meant trouble and messiness. She wasn't up to that.

"Not at all." He laughs. "Mom was asking about you earlier..."

"Archer, Please Don't. Can we leave this the way it is? You've came here to apologize not to pass me the messages from milady, haven't you?" Addison asks, with a serious smirk, putting her glances back on.

"Okay. But, come see her. You know you can't ignore her forever. Don't be like her, Addie." Archer says. He knew how stubborn the Forbes -Montgomery could be, he had to grew up being a Forbes - Montgomery.

She knew what he meant by _"Don't be like her..." . _Bizzy would ignore and push her feelings away. So was Addison, or she was trying that, since she was all hormonal.

Addison nodded and Archer left her alone in there.

Addison stares at Archer inside of the room, she on the hallway, doing a mental pros and cons list. Archer says his goodbyes to the old woman, he gives Addison a look as soon as he leaves the room, he hopes Addison will sit in there and talk to their mother.

She stares at Bizzy for some more instants until she decides to enter and sit next to her. Bizzy looks at Addison confused. "What brings you here?" Bizzy asks, obviously acting an offended tone on her voice.

"I came by, at least." Addison says. She looks at her mom's eyes and then looks away.

"You are glowing. Any new expensive lotion I should try?" Bizzy says, it doesn't really make Addison feel better, but it makes her feel like home, not a warm home, a cold one, but it feels familiar, she feels like that fourteen year old teenager that argued with her brother on the living room over who was sitting next to their dad.

"You can't buy it." Addison giggles, showing a smile to Bizzy, that slowly fades away.

"Why? You want me to save money so you get the biggest part of the Forbes fortune after I pass away?" Bizzy says. She sounds so cold Addison hates it, considering how small she feels inside of there, she really feels like screaming in pain but she can't.

"Bizzy..." Addison looks away, she's serious once again.

"Mommy. You used to call me mommy. Remember that? When you used to be my little girl?" Bizzy asks out loud. Addison rolls her eyes.

"You mean four years old me reaching for your attention?" Addison asks. Bizzy smiles at that.

"I'm sure you were littler." Bizzy nods, Addison feels homesick for a minute. "Seriously, is it some aloe vera lotion? No, I know, now that you live in Seattle you must have homemade recipes. Right?" Bizzy teases her daughter. It wasn't that funny. Addison could feel the negativity of her words all over her body.

"You haven't changed." Addison says, looking down.

"Certainly you have." Bizzy says. "You look fresh, hateless, tired..." her mother observes.

"Hateless? I never heard you saying that word before." Addison chuckles.

"So, you're chief of neonatal here." Bizzy says. In fact, Addison was chief of neonatal.

"Yeah. They treat me well. Gotta admit I miss New York, but Seattle isn't as bad as it seems." Addison reflects out loud, her mother listens, does she really care?

"Glad to hear that." Bizzy says.

"I talked to Derek and..." Addison starts talking.

"Can we please don't talk about my medical condition, Addison?" Bizzy says firmly, cutting her off. "I'm tired of the theme."

"Sorry." Addison says. This was classic, Addison apologizing over something that didn't hurt any soul. Yes, it feels like the Forbes home.

"Why did you came after all?" Bizzy asks. Addison stops looking at her hands, now she looks up to Bizzy's face, who has been staring at her daughter's red hair, wishing she could look at her in the eye.

"Do I need a reason?" Addison asks, clever.

"I like to believe you do." Bizzy smiles weakly.

"You're my mother. You're family. I was going to come anyways, even after what kind of crappy mother you were to us, at least you tried your best; that was what I was thinking about the whole day." Addison says.

"Addison..." Bizzy wants to shut her up already, knowing her stubborn and wild daughter was about to piss her off.

"Don't Addison me now, please. I figured out that maybe you kept your marriage with the Captain all these years because you wanted me and Archer to have a normal family with two parents. It was a mistake, but _I like to believe _you did it for our good." Addison says, venting. She needed to take that off of her chest, plus she asked. "I came to see you because I forgave you."

"I'm sorry for all of that." Bizzy admits.

"I am sorry too, for making you go through hell by dad's side knowing what kind of man whore he's always been. You did that for _us." _She says, referring to her and her brother. "I would have done the same. So, thank you for teaching me a lesson."

"Addison, are you seriously going to cry? Now? Here?" Bizzy asks coldly. Addison couldn't expect better than that, she wasn't upset or pissed, that cold and proud lady in front of her was that way.

"Sorry I can't manage my emotions properly." Addison smiles, with a laugh, wiping a tear out of eye.

"You're trying to tell me something. But it's blurry and nonsense." Bizzy says, looking into Addison's weak eyes.

"I gotta admit I love you came here from the other side of the country to see my husband." Addison leans back on the chair she was sitting on, ignoring her mother's latest confession.

"Thankfully, Derek isn't that useless." Bizzy admits.

"Of course he isn't." Addison smiles. She barely can remember good times with her mother and she was enjoying this spontaneous chat with her. "He's a great surgeon. I trust him."

"I gotta trust him. There's no more that I can do." Bizzy sighs. Addison sighs also.

Maybe it's stupid, but she feels so maternal, that as a daughter, she manages to hold her mother's warm hand. She squeezes it, surprising Bizzy all costs. Sometimes she liked to believe everything was different and that her mom was actually a helicopter mom, the one little kids wished to have.

"Addison, spill it." Bizzy insists as earlier. Addison keeps her mouth shut.

"I trust you mom, I trust that you will make it through surgery and radiation. Please, let me trust you." Addison begs her mother. Bizzy finally holds her hand naturally back, squeezing it, she's glad Addison called her mom. She also missed her daughter, her girl.

"I can't promise you anything." She says simply, making Addison look down again, holding tears. "Right now my goal is making it through the night."

That hits Addison hard in the back. That makes her wake up totally. She might not even make it through the night. Will she seriously keep this from her, knowing this moment with her might be the last one? The redhead sighs. She looks up to her mother once again.

Addison stands up from the chair, now she's in a taller place than Bizzy, her mom looks up to her eyes. Addison makes a gesture with the head, saying _'give me a little room in that bed'_. Bizzy understood and moved herself a little, cautioning her weak body, leaving a little spot for Addison next to her.

Addison lied in there, she was resting her head on her mom's shoulder, holding her hand.

"Adds..." Bizzy caughts her attention. The annoying nickname that Addison ended up loving.

"That awful nickname?" Addison replies quickly, with a little laugh.

"Oh, shut up! You loved it." Bizzy teases her, Addison rolls her eyes.

"I hated it. I always did." Addison says.

"It doesn't matter right now." Bizzy tries to change the theme.

"sorry." She's apologizing again, really Addie?

"I'm proud of you. Also of Archer. You two are smart, strong and talented. I'm happy I got to bring you two into this cruel world. Whatever you do, never commit my mistakes or your father's." Bizzy says, she gets all inspirational, something Addison has never seen.

"I already failed you, then. I followed the captain's steps, remember?" Addison says, serious, remembering how she ended up sleeping with Mark Sloan.

"I'm talking about the future, dear." Bizzy says.

"You realize my husband is the best neurosurgeon you can find right now? You will make it." Addison says, squeezing her hand.

"Don't ruin the moment." Bizzy says, coldly.

"Right, Sorry. Keep talking." She apologizes once again, for nothing important. It was the habit.

"Be you, not a reflection of your father and I. I'm not telling you this because I might die, I'm telling you this because you live at the other damn extreme of the freaking country and I barely hear from you."

"Mom..." addison wants to talk now.

"It's true." Bizzy comes right back to her point.

"Can i please say something now?" Addison is going to beg her if she needs to.

"Depends what is it, is it an insult?" Bizzy says, no humor on her voice.

"No, it's not it." Addison says.

"A bad joke?" Bizzy keeps teasing her.

"Bizzy." Addison sighs, it's been a long day.

"Go on." Bizzy allows her. Addison takes a deep breath, moving herself away from her mom's shoulder, Bizzy looks into her daughter's blue greenish eyes.

A tear runs down her cheek.

"I'm pregnant." Addison says, smiling brightly, posing a hand on her stomach. Bizzy smiles a little. Addison feels thankful, she just enjoyed her mother in a different way.

"If this is some kind of prank you and Archer made, you're not invited to my funeral." Bizzy laughs finally. Addison sighs in relief after hearing her laugh.

"It's true." Addison nods.

"Addison... that's... wonderful."

* * *

**_Review? I'm actually proud of this chapter!! What do you think about it?_**


	19. Chapter 19

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 19_**

"I want her to be okay." Addison sinks into tears, being hold by her older brother. It was Thursday night, Bizzy had some seizures, they immediately paged Derek, it was time to take that nasty, horrible tumor out.

"It's alright." Archer kept stroking her hair, both embraced inside of Bizzy's empty room. Just the two of them. The Montgomery siblings having a moment. Archer was trying his best on not crying, on showing himself as the protective brother that could handle these kind of situations.

"She might die inside of that OR, you know that?" Addison said between tears. She wished she could be strong enough to be standing on the gallery, watching her husband operate on her mother, but she couldn't.

She's afraid she might be loosing everything tonight, the approval of her family, her mother, her husband, her renewed life. She's scared and can't deny it.

"Addison, keep it together. She's gonna be fine." Archer says, she keeps crying on his jacket, he's trying to hold his weak sister without letting her fall. Archer was asking her to do way too much, her hormones were playing against her too, which made her even delicater.

Meredith stares outside of the room, she should be looking for Cristina or Izzie, ready to go get drunk at Joe's, she's instead watching them both embrace. Everyone at the hospital already knew they were siblings, the gossip was fast. No one could have imagined Addison having a brother.

Sometimes Meredith wished she could slap Addison in the face, after taking Derek away from her. But was that fair?

Grey sighs and leaves the siblings alone in there, it was like Meredith was invisible for them, neither of them saw her standing in there, they were concentrated on supporting each other.

It's been three hours. Addison knows surgeries can take a while, she was a surgeon, she knew it. Her anxiety was getting worse and worse. She was sitting on the waiting room, Archer was nowhere to be seen, so was the captain.

She can't stop think about her last words with Bizzy.

_"If its a girl, worry and waste time on naming her right, we don't want a Forbes to have a slutty name"_

_"I know, I will try my best."_

_"Don't tell your brother yet, he'll start making future plans thinking you're having a boy. You know how annoying that can get. Remember aunt Alice?"_

_"I do, that ended up ugly. I won't tell him yet, I assure you."_

_"Good."_

Archer comes back with coffee, just one of the poisons Addison was trying to quit for her baby's sake. She accepts the cup of coffee from him, she just holds the cup, keeping that promise to herself. Archer takes a place next to his sister, her eyes are red after crying that hard.

"Have you talked to dad?" Addison asks, looking to her brother, her sad brother.

"He's at the chapel." Archer says. Addison is also sad, but can't help and laughs at that.

"and i thought I was having a rough time." Addison says. Archer laughs softly.

"I really hope she's okay." Archer says, breaking the silence after a quiet while.

"Me too." Addison nods, looking at her shoes, afraid of looking into her brother's eyes, she didn't need to keep tearing up.

"You should go to sleep, you have access to on-call rooms, right? Go get some sleep." Archer says. Addison doesn't respond, she's quiet and immobile.

"I will not go to sleep knowing she's still inside of that OR." Addison replies firmly.

"Stop acting bitchy and bossy, go to sleep. I'll wake you up as soon as I have news. I swear." He acts protective over his little sister.

"I'm a grown up woman, Archer. I can be bitchy and bossy." Addison says. She wants to go to sleep, but she doesn't want to show herself weak even if she just had a breakdown on his arms.

"Just, go." He says, sipping his coffee. Addison stood up and walked away, not saying a word. She got inside of the first on-call room she found, collapsing her whole tiring body on the bed, glad to just stop for a minute.

Derek walks inside of the on-call room after forty minutes since she fell asleep. Her red hair all over her face. He walks and sits down on the feet of the bed, sighing, it's been a long and exhausting surgery.

He doesn't want to wake her up, but he does anyways, knowing she will want to hear this. "Addie?" Derek says, caressing her leg, she wakes up slightly.

"Derek." She says. "Did you take the whole tumor out?" Addison asks, adjusting to the light, still a little sleepy but she's alert.

"Addison..." Derek says, softly, he loves how much she cares.

"She's okay, right? She made it through surgery?!" Addison is impatient for an answer, she needs to know.

"She did, she made it. I extirpated the whole tumor out." He explains.

"Thank you." She says, kissing him passionately, he kisses her back, caressing her red hair. They both break the kiss looking into each other's eyes.

"My pleasure."Derek smirks a little but then it fades away quickly, Addison is concerned right away. It was that kind of expression that his eyes said everything was okay, but his smile wasn't in there.

"You made a face." Addison says, sitting next to him.

"I didn't." Derek says, he smiles softly and it fades away quickly.

"You just did it again, what's going on?" Addison is alarming.

"Nothing, she is fine." Derek says, letting his hand caress her knee, showing her support, safety.

"Really?" Addison eyes flickering.

"I swear." Derek nods.

"When can I see her?" She asks, she wants to know how her mother is doing.

"She's still under the effects of anesthesia. We should go home, get some sleep." Derek suggests.

"I don't know... I don't want to go. What if something happens and you are... we aren't near."

"I have a feeling everything will be okay. You're exhausted, so am I, so is she."

"Fine." Addison accepts.

"I'll go change, see you at home?" Derek asks.

"Yeah."

"Okay, see you." Derek smiles at her, pecking her lips.

"Bye." Addison says.

"Bye." He says, leaving the on-call room.

Addison debated between staying in here or just leaving, she decided to go home. On her way home she received a text from Rutherford.

**_Are we meeting tomorrow? We have an appointment scheduled. I know you're going through a lot, so, if you want to postpone this, we can! Talk to you later._**

**_Kel xx_**

Addison smiles at that text, she wasn't postponing her appointment, she surely wasn't. All she wanted was seeing her baby, hearing the pulse once again and checking if everything was alright.

She gets home exhausted, being greeted by their dog. She smiles and sits on the floor with him licking her face for a minute, she's relieved, her mother was okay.

* * *

Derek gets home, Addison wasn't there, neither their dog. Everything is just like they left it like before going to the hospital. Derek worries, looks for his phone on his jacket, dialing her number quickly.

He knows how hard it has been for her to deal with this whole mess, her mother being sick, her brother screwing nurses around the hospital, her father being a mess all the time, and Addison had to be the glue.

She was always the glue.

"Addison? Honey, where are you?" Derek asks concerned on the phone, taking his keys and leaving their apartment quickly.

"The trailer... I needed some air, so did Tarek." She explains. Her voice is soft, but he knows her too well, she's in sorrow. It hurts him to see her like this, during the past days he's seeing nothing but sadness on her face, sometimes joy after little jokes they told each other, or kisses, or sex, but it wasn't the same. He knew she was sad and worried, she was caring a lot.

"You scared the hell out of me." Derek sighs in relief. Could he blame her? She needed space. "I'll come over."

"Okay." She nods, a weak voice through the phone, Tarek barks at a squirrel that was on a tree near the trailer, Addison giggles.

He smiles. He smiles brightly after hearing the sound of her laugh, he's getting inside of the elevator.

"See you." He says.

* * *

"Come here!" Addison yells at Tarek, he comes back, running, he jumps into her arms, making her fall flat on the grass, laughing. She sits down again, enjoying having such a cute and sweet company. Derek finds her, looks at her for a while, content to see her smile.

"Tarek!" Derek yells at the dog, he leaves Addison alone, obligating her to look up to Derek, even if it was blurry, she knew it was him, he was near her, caressing their dog.

"Hey" Addison greets him. He smiles at her, sitting next to her on the grass. It was cold and dark, the lights of the trailer were the only good light they had, the moon also did help, they could look at each other perfectly.

"Hi." He whispers. She leans and rests her head on his shoulder, their dog between the two of them, playing with Derek's fingers.

He's happy to be there for her, and he regrets all the pain he has made her go through. Both of them must admit they are thankful of having each other, of making everything work and adding two members to the family, one of them that wasn't human, but still played a very special roll.

"Christmas is in three more months." Addison says after a long silence. He looks down to her redhair.

"You're counting the months?" Derek chuckles a little, wrapping an arm around her, pulling her closer to him, she gets comfortable on his arms.

"No... I mean yes, but not for Christmas specifically, It came around while I was thinking of when our baby is going to be born... summer." She looks up to him.

"Funny and strange you mention it." Derek chuckles, Tarek taking place on Addison's lap.

"Why? Am I already a freaky mom?" Addison laughs. He loves her laugh, and how the word _mom_ suited her so well.

"No, I think it's cute you calculated it. Yesterday when you were sleeping, when I woke up earlier than you, I was calculating it. I couldn't come with a perfect date though, it's all blurry." He chuckles.

"June 13th." She says.

"I got June 1st." He says.

"Should we be worried?" Addison laughs.

"I think we should." Derek nods.

"I think the conception of our child was that time... here." Addison remembers, smiling, fighting a laugh.

"That's why you came here?" Derek asks, rubbing her back.

"Kind of. I needed air." Addison sighs.

"Wait, which one of the thousand times we came here?" Derek reacts.

"I still had my broken arm, so you must remember." Addison says, looking at the moon above them.

"Oh, I do." He Says.

"That was a great night." Addison laughs, it was a weird and uncomfortable night, but it ended up being one of the best nights of their lives.

"I still can't believe we made it through the night." Derek comments.

"I can't believe it too!" Addison laughs, making Derek laugh at such a silly memory.

"It was kind of uncomfortable." Derek confesses.

"It was. It really was, and then when I heard a bird and I freaked out." Addison laughed again.

"That was my favorite part." He teases her, she rolls her eyes and hits his arm playfully.

"We should stop having sex on lakes or in trailers in the middle of the woods, it can turn out bad." Addison reflects.

"What? You think a squirrel will attack us?" Derek laughs.

"It can happen." Addison nods, laughing still. "If it wasn't that night it must have been around I had my broken arm."

"Maybe it was when you broke it." He laughs alone this time, noticing a over acted offended face from Addison.

"Not that funny." She says.

"I love moody you. I love all your moods." He says, hugging her from her behind, kissing her temple.

"I love your moods too." She giggles, resting her head back, leaning on him, she is comfortable and warm on his arms.

* * *

The morning starts as usual lately, morning sickness, moody Addison, Derek walking the dog, coming back home on time for them both to leave for the hospital. Addison had moved most of her surgeries for later or for other days, knowing Bizzy was in a delicated state.

It's eleven am, he walks to neonatal after checking on Bizzy, Addison is already inside with Rutherford, both women waiting for Shepherd to get in there so they can get started. Meredith was on Rutherford services, but for this case, Kelly wasn't going to let any intern get inside of there, and thank God all interns were sent to the ER this morning. Which made Addison feel safer, she wasn't going to make this public anytime soon, they haven't even told Richard.

Derek runs a hand through his hair, he's late, they probably started without him. Addison feels bad maybe he forgot, but a knock on the door makes her think otherwise.

"Who is it?" Rutherford asks, approaching the door, knowing Addison didn't want any public.

"Derek." Derek says. Kelly opens the door letting him in.

"Hello, Doctor Shepherd!" Kelly laughs flirtatious.

"Hi" Derek gives Kelly a smile.

Addison smiles in relief. "Sorry I'm late!"

"It's okay. How's Bizzy doing?" Addison asks, pulling her blouse up.

"She's alright, her progress has been excellent." Derek says proudly, she smiles and sighs in relief, it is so good to hear those news.

"I'm so glad to hear that." Addison smiles.

"This is gonna be cold." Kelly laughs, wasn't it weird to tell a world class neonatal surgeon that the gel was going to be cold?

"I know that" Addison chuckles, looking at Kelly, who's smirking. Derek nods. She obviously knew that.

"Just a warning." Kelly says, adding the cold gel on Addison's abdomen.

"This ER is filled by people that have the flu. This is crap." Alex Karev complains.

"I know. It's crap." Meredith agreed, both interns checking charts on the nurses station.

"There's a guy in here with a paper cut. A damn paper cut." Izzie says, walking by, taking place next to Alex.

"Worst of all Bambi gets to scrub into surgery." Cristina complains, she's next to meredith.

"I should probably go get back to Burke, this place is so fucked up, even nurses can handle a flu." Izzie says, rolling her eyes, leaving the rest three of them in there alone.

"I guess I'll go back to Rutherford." Meredith says, leaving Cristina and Alex in one another company.

Meredith walked into the neonatal area, Addison and Derek walking through the corridor, holding hands, smiling to each other, Meredith could swear there was a smell of happiness. She felt so sick as soon as seeing that scene happening right in front of her eyes.

Wasn't _she_ the one who cheated on him? Why Meredith couldn't just be with McDreamy. Maybe that was the problem. For the intern, Derek was McDreamy, for Addison, Derek was _Derek._

The twelve year old intern wished Addison could get hit by a car or kidnaped so no one could see her ever again. It was obvious that Meredith was platonically talking, in love with Derek Shepherd.

* * *

It's been a long day. It's almost nine pm, Addison walks inside of Bizzy's room. "Hi." Addison greets her. She never felt so close to her.

"You look happy. What is it?" Bizzy asks. She cares, even though her tone makes the opposite effect on Addison.

"Your grandchild is safe, healthy. The size goes perfectly based on how many weeks I'm, the heartbeat is strong... there's a healthy life I've created." Addison says proudly celebrating. Bizzy cares, but as a cold bitch, she acts like she doesn't.

"My cheesy daughter sounds funny." Bizzy says, sighing heavily, just to make an effect.

"And there it is, old Bizzy is back." Addison rolls her eyes and then smiles, standing next to the hospital bed.

"I am." Bizzy says.

"I noticed. How are you feeling?" Addison asks. As much as she doesn't really want to, she feels bad for her mother. Seeing her going through a lot of pressure, seeing her without any hair, it was... weird.

"Not perfect, they just opened my head. Literally." Bizzy says. She's not having the best day, obviously.

"Yeah, well, you'll get used to it." Addison says.

"To have my head opened?" Bizzy doesn't understand.

"No... I mean, the feeling." Addison says understanding, taking place on a chair next to the bed.

"I think so." Bizzy says, just to comfort her daughter. Every woman would be depressed after having to leave all her hair behind, but it was a good cause. A great one. Bizzy was thankful for Derek.

"Where's Archer and the Captain?" Addison asks, running out of topics to talk about with her mother.

"Both went to the bar in front of the hospital." Bizzy explains.

"I see." Addison nods. For the Montgomery men, if there was a motive to get drunk, it was going to be totally used, they couldn't waste such opportunity.

"I met the twelve year old. Not as beautiful as I imagined. Your husband really went pretty low." Bizzy reflects out loud, Addison fights a laugh.

"You think?" Addison asks, massaging her own neck.

"She was carrying some charts, I asked her for water and I saw the name." Bizzy explains Addison. The redhead managed to nod in understanding, not really caring what happened or not with Meredith grey that day.

"Best way to meet the mistress." Addison laughs.

"She's like a table." Bizzy observes.

"Sorry, what?" Addison asks in confusion.

"She's skinny. Way too skinny. At least you... you have you know, volume."

"Volume? Mother..!" Addison laughs out loud.

"Addison you can't deny you have things she doesn't." Bizzy keeps herself polite and classy.

"This is so out of control. Can we please stop talking about my... volume? Or whatever you're trying to say? It's getting gross." Addison giggles.

"But do you get what I'm trying to say?" Bizzy asks once again.

"I think I do." Addison nods. She wishes Derek could be in there right now, hearing to what Bizzy is saying.

"I can't believe how you felt like you couldn't win the fight over Derek. You are a Forbes." Bizzy says. _You are a Forbes_. That makes Addison panic a little. She has heard that sentence so many times.

"I certainly am." She doesn't have more remedy than agreeing with the old stubborn woman.

"She's a kid, you're a grown up woman." Bizzy says.

"I also have _volume_." Addison teases her mother.

"Can we please don't talk about that anymore?" Bizzy rolls her eyes, looking at her arrogant daughter, who's fighting her loud laughter.

"Oh, and my volume is going to rise real soon, it's already rising." Addison says, referring to more pregnancy symptoms.

"Addison, I'm not going to discuss the size of my daughter's breasts." Bizzy says directly.

"You already said I have volume, you started." Addison replies all bossy.

* * *

"I mean, look at me, Cristina. I'm hot, I'm smart, I'm... a girl in a bar." Meredith says, after her thirteenth shot of tequila. She was at Joe's sitting next to Cristina.

"A drunk girl in a bar." Cristina says.

"He looks at me, okay?" Meredith says, doing a gest towards Joe, so she could keep getting drunk.

"It's not going to happen ever again, you know that." Cristina tries to cut her daydreaming thing.

"He smiles and greets me every freaking morning." Meredith says, she's so drunk Cristina is afraid she might kill herself or find a way to sell her soul to the devil.

"He does that because he's McDreamy." Cristina explains her the obvious universe Meredith can't see yet.

"No, he does that because he still hasn't delete me from his mind at all!" Meredith says, drinking another tequila shot.

"Hey, whatever you found inside of Rutherford's office, I don't wanna know. Just, go home. I'll call you a cab." Cristina says, rubbing Meredith's back.

Grey found Addison's medical chart, her blood type, her disease historial... and also found a document on Rutherford's computer earlier. She was being way too illegal, knowing Rutherford's office door wasn't locked, since the door was broken. As an intern this was even worse, but she wasn't stopping herself.

"Fine. Call a cab." Meredith rolls her eyes, letting Cristina be her mom for the night.

"Okay." Cristina looks away for a minute, and doesn't realize her friends left the bar as soon as she could.

Meredith goes inside of Rutherford's office, she's obviously drunk as hell and she knows what she's doing, but, does she care? This is revenge. And her revenge was going to be sweet as many others.

Printing various copies of the pictures of Addison's and Derek's fetus was the best thing she could do. Really Meredith? Ruining her life was okay, after all, that redhead ended her relationship with the hot neurosurgeon. She checks twice, yes, the pictures do have Addison's whole name on it.

"Babysitting babies ad? Crap. Shepherd's baby rocks." Drunk Meredith says, nonsense, filling the hospital with those pictures. Nurses looking at the drunk intern, what was going on?

That's how everybody got to know what kind of dirty secret Addison Montgomery was hiding. It didn't matter if Derek was the father or not, it mattered that Satan was expecting a baby. It was worse than slut shaming Addison, it was worst than anything... well, not anything, but it was bad.

It was really bad.

Addison's morning sickness wasn't as bad as other days that morning, maybe it meant it was going to cut off soon. Derek smiles at Addison preparing him coffee, knowing she wasn't allowing herself to consume caffeine, she was being stubborn against herself.

Derek wrapped his arms around her, she giggled a little at the touch of his warm hands, not letting her go. "I made you coffee." She says, resting her head on him, he kissed her temple.

"Thank you." He says.

Addison's phone buzzes, she rolls her eyes, already dealing with someone at this hour? She breaks the cute moment with Derek, walking away from him so she can take the call. Seven missed calls from Archer, and he was calling once again.

Derek pours himself some coffee and Tarek walking inside of the kitchen.

"Archer?" Addison replies to the call.

"You're pregnant and you kept it as a secret? For real?" Her brother sounds upset. She frows at Derek, worried, wondering who told him, thinking Maybe Bizzy broke her trust.

"Stop talking. How did you find out?" Addison asks. Derek looks confused, he's obviously hearing what Addison is saying.

"Everyone knows." Archer says, Addison senses he's rolling his eyes, which he is, indeed.

"Everyone knows as... Bizzy told you guys, or everyone knows as everyone knows?" Addison is confused, concerned actually.

"Addison, the meaning of the word Everyone should mean everyone." Archer answers seriously. Addison knows he's been serious and automatically freaks out internally. _Everyone knows._

**I decided to make my chapters a little shorter from now on. I usually write 5K per chapter, and now I think I will write 4K. **

**Review? Definitely not my best chapter... still working on drama and school and life is stressing me out a lot lately, sorry for that.**


	20. Chapter 20

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 20_**

**_/ warning: some dirty scenes... yup; I feel impure._**

"I swear it wasn't me." Rutherford says to Addison, who she is seeing walking really quickly on her heels after reaching the neonatal area. She walks with purse in hand, still wearing her favorite black coat. She is furious.

"Who the hell made this public!?" Addison asks, not realizing how rude that sounded, this was her friend, but right now she was struggling a lot.

"I don't have idea. I didn't told anyone or showed anyone anything." Rutherford swears. They are in the middle of the hallway, but, do they care? Does Addison care? They can't care now, everyone knows already, it doesn't matter anymore.

"God... I can't believe someone exposed me." Addison sighs, looking around, seeing how many nurses scanned her with a look. "Richard already paged me three times this morning."

"Addison I'm so so sorry. I don't know who did this. But, the chief can watch the security cameras, right? You should check them." Kelly suggests. Addison nods, taking a deep breath. She's feeling like her skin is burning of too much looks around her. She can feel those eyes on her.

"I think I will do that. Thank you." Addison smiled weakly, making her way back to the elevator. She's trying not to breakdown.

* * *

Walking through the corridor, quickly, still being watched. She could hear people talking crap about her and somehow she had to pretend it was okay. She gets inside of Webber's office, Derek is already sitting in there.

"It was Meredith." Derek says simply. Addison is trying to catch her breath after the marathon she just had. She rests a hand on her hip.

"Is this some kind of bad joke?" Addison asks furious.

"Gotta say I'm disappointed an intern with such a good potential did this to you, Addison." Richard Says, nodding. Derek was also furious.

"Is she in the building?" Addison asks furious, approaching to Richard's computer seeing how Meredith did shared the Shepherd's little secret.

"Yeah, But please dont..." Richard starts talking, Addison takes her coat off quickly.

"See you later." Addison cuts the chief off, she leaves the room, Derek and Richard have their eyes widen, knowing what this woman could be capable of.

"... make a scene." Richard finishes his sentence.

"See you later too." Derek says, standing up from the chair he was sitting on, ready to run after Addison.

* * *

"You, bitch!" Addison says as soon as she sees Meredith Grey. Meredith turns around, her eyes widened.

"Addison... I... I really don't know why I did that" Meredith says, her voice shaky. Addison rolls her eyes, dramatically.

"It wasn't enough by being the dirty mistress, wasn't it?" Addison yells at the poor intern. She knew this was going to be hot gossip for everyone at the hospital.

"It was an accident." Meredith says.

"I saw the security tape. I'm not stupid, Doctor Grey." Addison snaps at her.

"I'm sorry." She says.

Addison doesn't waste time, she slaps Meredith with all the strength her anger can give her right now. She could blame her crazy hormones, but she wasn't. Meredith fucking Grey made something so important for her, a public fact.

Derek arrives as soon as Addison slaps the intern. He ran towards Addison, taking her by the abdomen before she could do anything else to the tiny blonde intern.

"Derek. Let me go." Addison says firmly, she's furious and she would gladly slap Meredith again.

"Crazy bitch." Meredith whispers, recovering from such slap, resting her hand on her cheek.

"Calm down!" Derek tells Addison. The redhead rolls her eyes and unfolds herself from Derek's arms, leaving on her high heels. Derek gives Meredith a apologizing look, but it turns into a mad one. He turns away and walks behind Addison.

"Addie! Addison!" Derek yells at her, she keeps walking. She's ignoring him, obviously. She's mad. This episode that Meredith created was bad for both, Addison and Derek, not only Addison. "Addison." He finally catches her, grabbing her upper arm.

"Derek, leave me alone." She says simply, doing her best on not meeting her husband's eyes. She feels like someone threw a rock at her, it hurts her deeply that Seattle was making her feel negative about thousands of things.

"No. I know it's hard, Addison. But you need to control." Derek says, seriously. He was right, but she couldn't just act calm at such a rude act that bitch did.

"You really don't know if it's hard or not. You really don't." Addison says, she seems low energized, tired, in sorrow. How could she be happy, knowing she was the biggest joke in the whole hospital?

"We need to discuss this." Derek says, caressing her cheek. She likes how his touch feels like, but she couldn't concentrate on that for now. Her thoughts were completely malevolent against Grey.

"I know." She nods, cutting into her own thoughts, looking up to her charming husband, who was also kind of sad.

"I have surgery in two more hours, let's talk now?" Derek asks her, he doesn't ask if she's free, he knows her schedule.

"Fine," she nods. They both get inside of an on-call room.

"There was no need to slap Meredith." Derek says, he's been sincere, not taking any sides. But he was obviously on Addison's side since the beginning. How did he ever thought he fell in love with Meredith?

"Come on, you punched Mark in front of everyone. I just... slapped an intern." Addison says, doing a gesture with her shoulders.

"Addison, there was no need." Derek says. Both standing in there, thankful the room is empty and no one could hear them.

"Um, there was, surely. I'm pretty sure there was. How dare she does that to me? Wait, not only me, our child and also _you_." Addison says firmly. Anger within every look she gave Derek.

"I get you. I understand, Addie. But you can't walk through the hospital slapping people like it's another normal day." Derek fights a laugh, he finds Addison being protective over her family a cute thing, but he knew that could damage Addison's imagine somehow.

"It's not another normal day! I'm furious, let me be mad." Addison says.

"I got nothing against your madness, but, for God's sake, that was too much."

"Derek, you aren't going to tell me what I can't or not do, I slapped her. And I would do it again. I would gladly strangle her tiny neck. I've been the biggest joke this hospital has got for the last... What? Almost a year?"

"What?" Derek asks, he's a little confused. He's obviously aware of the hospital gossip. But, people also have some work to do, you know?

"Come on," she starts saying, pressing two fingers on her upper nose. "...you have seen it. Everyone knows about my affair with Mark, everyone knows about us, I pretend not to be hurt at all those gossips. I also hear them, do you hear what they say about me? I'm a whore for them. For everyone. I have to pretend like it's okay, like I don't hear anyone saying that you choose wrong." She vents. She has to deal with that, and Derek never heard Addison so overwhelmed about hospital gossip before.

"Addison, but you don't have to care!" Derek says. She really doesn't have to, none of that is true. He wishes that none of this would have ever happened, so they could just keep living their lives in peace, but Meredith had to make sure to screw everything up.

"I do!" She walks away from Derek, resting the back on the closed door. "Because I hear that everyday, everyone talks about me behind my back, I've been experiencing real crap." She looks up to the roof and then down to her feet. "And then, Meredith Grey tries to screw up one of the things left that make me joyful. I include you, obviously." Addison says, meeting Derek's eyes across some short distance that they shared.

"Hey, I understand. I'm sorry, most of all is my fault." Derek says, looking down, feeling like a bad spouse.

"Derek please don't blame yourself because of how crappy people can be, because you haven't obligate anyone to hate me, have you?" She approaches to Derek, grabbing Derek by the chin, so he can look into her eyes. She smiles at him weakly.

"No, never. I do blame myself though, if I could just... have stayed back in New York, or haven't took my marriage band off... maybe people would never say that. Maybe if I never met Meredith this would not be happening." Derek vents. Addison appreciates when he says his thoughts out loud, he's a closed door, as he used to say.

"Honey, it's fine." Addison caresses his hair back. She looks into his tender blue eyes.

"It isn't. We really broke our vows." Derek says.

"Sadly, we did." Addison looks away, she's disappointed they went so wrong.

"But we can make them again." Derek says, surprising Addison. She looks into his eyes again, noticing how a bright smile is forming on his lips.

"I'm not sure I'm following." Addison laughs nervously, resting both of her arms around Derek's neck.

"Maybe we could renew them." Derek smiles, he caresses her back, they are so near each other.

"Are you being serious?" Addison smiles at him. He nods slightly.

"Yeah! Sure." He leans a little closer.

"Okay, But I want you to propose. I will not take this as the proposal, because it's not as romantic as the first one." She laughs against his lips.

"You and your proposals..." He says, kind of flirting. She can feel his hand going up her back.

"What? I want the things to be well done." She smiles with a little giggle, her eyes looking into his, but suddenly looking down to his lips making sure he's not kissing her yet.

"Okay. I will propose properly. Also, if anyone says anything bad about my wife again, they will have to fight me first." He winks playfully.

"I'm really excited to see you punching nurses." She jokes. They both giggle. There's silence, their face expressions are serious, but there's still little smirks.

She makes the first move, approaching her lips to his, he starts guiding the rhythm of the kiss, suddenly her tongue crashes against his opening lips, he offers his own tongue too. Meanwhile Addison's hands wrapped Derek's torso completely, not letting him go. Derek's hand going down her hip to her endless legs. He manages to grab her by the leg, so she can wrap both of her legs around his waist, both now against the door.

He starts kissing her neck, she sighs in pleasure.

"Lock the door." That's all she manages to say. He smirks against her neck, locking the door.

"Wait, isn't this dangerous for... the pregnancy?" He asks, looking into her eyes.

"I'm a world-class-board-certified-neonatal surgeon. I know what I'm doing." She says. Derek doesn't waste times and keeps on kissing her neck, then her shoulder, and her collarbone.

"Be careful on leaving hickeys" She adds, with a little nervous laugh, feeling how Derek's hands go down her skirt.

She's into this, very. She helps Derek on taking his shirt off, he helps on taking her blouse off. She could give her hormones some credits because of this, but she's not blaming their kid... at least not for now.

He grabs her and places her on the nearest bed. He's on top of her. He takes her skirt off, Addison takes his pants off, as soon as she could, because she didn't want to waste anymore time.

He kisses her deeply, she allows his hands all over her body. The heat making both of them sweat. She takes her bra off, so the contact between their bodies can be even much more real. It's a necessity she has, not a habit. Addison moans as soon as Derek's fingers enter her.

Wasn't it weird, how from an angry talk, it could turn to sentimental, sweet, romantic, and then suddenly everything could end up being heat?

"Derek..." She moans once again, her eyes going white, she loves how he feels on her. Derek finds a good opportunity to keep kissing her neck when she does that.

He rubs her clit, she could scream in pleasure, but instead she tries to stay much more silent. She passes her nails through his back. All she wants is him inside of her, not his fingers.

She takes his boxers off, fomenting her desires to happen.

* * *

"Gosh..." Addison tries to catch her breath after wild sex in an on call room.

"That was amazing." Derek says, also catching his breath, laying next to Addison.

"Incredible." She adds. He moves closer to her, she allows him to hold her close. He strokes her hair.

"I love you." He whispers on her ear, softly. She closes her eyes and smiles. After a minute, she looks up to his blue eyes.

"I love you too." She whispers back, with a wide smile. His hand is now resting on her stomach. She feels joyful... until the sound of Derek's pager screws up their moment.

"Sorry." He says, checking his pager. "Bailey..."

"Ugh... no!" She Says. She was so comfortable lying in there with him. She had to admit she was expecting this to happen eventually, considering how crazy a doctor's life could be.

"I gotta go." Derek says, standing up from the bed. She sighs heavily. "What happened? Is it Bizzy?"

"If Bizzy's real name is Nolan, then yes, it's totally your mom." Derek laughs, while putting his clothes on again. Addison smirks at his humor, and feels relief on her chest.

"Thank you." Addison says.

"For what? Sex?" Derek chuckles.

"No, thank you for this." She moves her hand to her abdomen.

"Thank _you_ for this." He leans and touches her stomach, kissing her lips.

"It's your fault anyways" she laughs as soon as they break the kiss.

"You collaborated, don't give me all the credit." He starts getting his shoes on.

"Silly!" She loves him.

"I'm so sorry, but I really have to go." Derek says, smiling apologizingly at Addison.

"I understand." She nods.

"Bye" he approaches her, pecking her lips.

"Bye, love you." She says, meanwhile he stands up from the bed.

"Love you too." He says, leaving the on-call room.

* * *

Derek gets out of a consult with his patient Nolan Morrison, he's a thirty three year old man. He's glad it was nothing to worry about. "Jesus." He gets scared when he realizes that a petite blonde is in front of him. "Meredith..." his pessimist voice finally makes an appearance.

"Doctor Shepherd... I just... I wanted to apologize for what I did." The intern says. Derek feels proud of Addison for slapping Meredith. He was hating her so much, what she did to them both, it was nasty, inappropriate, and not to mention, illegal.

"Are you seriously talking to me after that?" Derek says, walking through the corridor; not making social contact with the twelve year old intern. Meredith follows him, as some kind of habit.

"I tried to talk to doctor Montgomery Shepherd but, she won't hear me. I just need to let you know I'm sorry." Meredith starts explaining, she really couldn't see that Derek wasn't going to talk about this now, or ever. This was totally pissing him off.

He stops walking, and now makes eye contact with the young intern, who shows fear into her eyes, she can sense his hate, but she will still fight for the failed relationship with McDreamy, the failed relationship that will never happen again.

"Yeah, your apologies will quite not help anything, really. So, I prefer not to talk about this theme ever again, are we clear Doctor Grey?" Derek says, rudely. He crosses his arms over his chest, looking with a serious expression at Meredith.

He turns away and keeps walking, they were being watched. He could swear the looks for the nurses could be felt.

"Derek, please!" The blonde woman begs, raising her voice, trying to catch his attention. Look who's being petty.

"Doctor Grey, you're out of place like calling me by my name. I'm doctor Shepherd for you. I'm not the attending that slept with the intern anymore." Derek turns away once again, facing Grey and her overwhelmed expression.

"Can we please just talk?! If we don't talk we will never end this for real." Meredith begs once again. Derek was so lost into what she said, for him it ended a long time ago, for him this was ended, now he has Addison and their unborn child.

"I've talked to you. Plenty of times. Two times to be exact, two discussions that you agreed with me. There's not a _we_ between us anymore." Derek says, firmly. Was Meredith being serious? Maybe now she was playing with his mind.

"Derek, I... Doctor Shepherd, I need another conversation." She says firmly, too. She was clearly in love with McDreamy once again. He was impossible to forget, but he was married and she had to stop being way too obsessive over a married man who didn't share the same feelings with her.

"I made myself clear, several times, I'm with Addison now. I love my wife. And you just made her go through a hard moment by making public the news of our unborn child." Derek explains the facts, trying to make her platonic feelings for him fade away, he just wants to be happy and enjoy his little family, he doesn't want an intern screwing up his life with the woman he _loves_ truly.

"I'm very sorry about that... and I still have things to ask you." Meredith says. She's clearly lost into his blue eyes, fighting a smirk. Derek is still having a serious look at her, he's still devasted, remembering how altered was his wife earlier that morning when her brother told her she was quite _"the news"_.

"You really don't get it." Derek shakes his head, sighing, stressed of the situation. Why her?! Why now?!

"No I don't. I really don't. You told me you loved me. You said Addison was an obligation, or that's what you meant. We had sex. It doesn't mean anything for you?" Meredith asks.

Meredith is hoping she will get the answer she wants... which it would be something like "_I love you Meredith Grey, but I have a child on the way and I'm obligated to be with that witch."_ But that was clearly not going to happen, not even on an ulternative universe or dimension.

"Meredith, you were a phase, my revenge because of my own wife cheating. You and I... it doesn't exist anymore." Derek tries to explain. There's a change on her expression, more sorrow, disappointment. He feels kinda bad, as a human being he knows how it feels to get hurt, but he had to tell her the truth to take all her platonic wishes out of her mind. He needed to keep living his life without Meredith bothering, or appearing in the middle of the ride.

"Wow. That's hurtfully impressive." Meredith eyes are widen.

"Yeah, so it was finding out everybody found out about my wife's pregnancy." Derek gives Meredith a serious and hateful smirk, being very sarcastic with that _Yeah._

"Me being revenge doesn't give you any right to be an ass against me every time we have to interact." Meredith says. Was she living inside of a FanFiction? Was she having Alzheimer's like her mother? What was she referring to that?

"What the hell are you talking about? I've been smiling at you and acting McDreamilly around you, because I feel guilty I used you as a toy thinking you could or just having sex could heal the wound I had." Derek was being way too kind and caring to someone who didn't earn his heart anymore, someone who never did actually. He was being way too polite, Meredith was being the blind now.

"So I was a game for you, huh?" Meredith crosses her arms over her chest too, holding back a sad face she doesn't want to show.

"I'm not going to keep talking about this with you, Doctor Grey." Derek is about to keep walking, but the intern grabs his arm before he could even move a centimeter.

"Just answer the question." Meredith asks.

"Meredith..." Derek rolls his eyes and sighs. Really?

"Answer the damn question. Was I... was _our_ relationship a game?" She insists.

"I admit I _thought_ I felt love, but it was nothing like what I've ever felt with Addison. She is _love_. So, to answer your question; Yes, it was." Derek replies. Meredith manages to nod, Derek walks away finally free of being followed.

* * *

**_Short and not my best chapter... review? I always read them! And thank you for reviewing, really. It means a lot, and they cheer me up a lot. ;)_**


	21. Chapter 21

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 21_**

_I'm into the idea of giving Addison and Derek a boy... BUT I'm also into giving them a girl... what do you think is the best to do?_

_XX_

It was the second week of December, Christmas was just around the corner, Addison was so excited for her favorite season to come up. She was fourteen weeks already.

Now that everyone knew about her pregnancy she decided that hiding it wasn't going to make anyone forget about it or ignore the fact that she was expecting a child. Derek was way too excited about knowing If they were having a boy or girl. Addison was pretty sure it was a girl, but Derek's hope for a boy was endless.

Meredith got what she deserved, she got expulsed by a month, Addison preferred not to be so cruel and tried to convince Richard not to punish her that bad, everyone could commit mistakes drunk or sober, come on, she was the queen of committing life changing mistakes.

Bizzy was back in Connecticut, so was the whole Forbes - Montgomery clan. Addison's mother was healthy and she was gladly going to thank Derek for it.

They already started to decorate the nursery, it was going to be Derek's office, soon to be ex office! They thought about moving, but both loved their apartment. Even though Derek wished he could convince Addison to move to the woods and build a house for their family.

"We haven't talked about it..." Derek says, both in bed cuddling, watching a funny Jim Carrey movie.

"About what?" Addison looks up to him, still resting her head on his chest.

"Honey, one day you'll be all panicked _'my water broke' _and I will get terrified, we haven't talked about it..." Derek chuckles. Addison rolls her eyes at the sound of Derek imitating her.

"You mean, being in labor?" Addison asks, Derek said too much things trying to just state one point.

"Yes." He says, stroking her cheek, slowly and softly. She gives him a light smile.

"To be honest I'm kinda terrified about it." She giggles.

"Really?" Derek says surprised, for him Addison seemed like the fearless kind of mom.

"I swear. It's terrifying." Addison says sincerely.

"But you're a board certified neonatal surgeon, why would you be terrified?" Derek teases her, wrapping his arm around her.

"Yeah, I've delivered thousands of babies into this world, but when you are the pregnant woman in that bed it's totally different. Ask Naomi. Everything changes. It's painful, scary and exciting." She explains, with a cute smile.

"So, you're terrified..." Derek tilts his head looking into her eyes, smirking.

"I am. And you should too." Addison says seriously.

"Why would I?" Derek asks, curiously, always giving her the McDreamy look.

"Because I'll be squeezing your hand for hours until this baby gets out of me." She says, pouting at her stomach, she has started to show a little since a couple weeks ago.

"I'll make sure of obligating you to cut your nails around the due date." He jokes, with a laugh, patting her back lightly.

"Much appreciated!" She giggles, pecking his lips. They smile at each other.

"I owe you fifty bucks still..." Derek reminds himself, biting his upper lip.

"Hey, don't get sad, I told you it was going to be January 13th." She says, posing a hand on his chest.

"It's not the 13th, it's closer, but not the 13th exactly. And, I don't '_get sad'_." He informs her. She rolls her eyes playfully and laughs.

"Fine, January 16th. Three more days, it's nothing. You don't have to pay me anyway." She says getting comfortable, resting her head on his shoulder.

"You don't want me to keep my promise?" He asks, flirty still.

"You never made a promise." She looks up to him, curious.

"I did! At least to myself..." he says, kissing her temple.

"Which would be..?" Addison asks.

"I want to keep it to myself." He nods slightly.

"Come on! I'm your wife, marriages don't hide each other things!" She says, only wanting to know what he was hiding.

"Except that we are a total different marriage..." he makes her remember.

"Ah... well... you're right." She nods.

"Christmas is just around the corner, are you excited?" He strokes her hair.

"I am, totally. You know I love Christmas." She says.

"You do." He kisses her.

"Hey..." She breaks the kiss. "... maybe we should tell your family, about me, expecting your child, _our_ child... maybe? I mean, we should, right?" Addison asks, she's a little insecure about it.

"If you are comfortable with it, maybe we should." He says giving her a bright smile.

"I'm not humiliated about it anymore, and they are your family. Even if they are all so..." Addison says.

"So incredibly annoying?" He finishes her sentence.

"Kinda." She nods. He laughs.

They kept watching the movie, but Addison fell asleep pretty quick on Derek's arms. Her naked skin against his felt so good, warm, comfortable. He kissed her forehead and turned the tv and lights off, their dog on the feet of the bed sleeping already. He posed his hand on her belly and fell asleep next to her.

He feels so lucky. After what they went through, it's hard to believe they came out of the cave of the darkness. He was being so blessed by having an angel by his side, and one on the way.

The doorbell woke Addison up, Derek already left for work, since they had different schedules. He walks over the door and rolls her eyes heavily as soon as she realizes who's on the door.

She opens the door.

"Mrs Jennings... what's up?" Addison asks as nice as she can. The old neighbor bothering again. "Sugar?"

* * *

"Your ninety two year old neighbor asked you for a condom?" Callie laughs like crazy, while both walk through the corridor that headed to Richard Webber's office.

"She did indeed!" Addison nods with a laugh, sipping her cocoa. Callie sips her coffee holding a laugh.

"That's gross." Callie says, shaking her head.

"Apparently we are too loud, I'm quoting her by the way." Addison laughs, resting her free hand on her pocket.

"Aw... you and Derek are such a cute couple. When are you finding out the gender by the way?" Callie asks.

"It should be time! We have an appointment on wednesday." Addison smiles. The looks of the nurses and the hospital were still on her, but not as much as when they all found out. She loves her child already, and having a mini Derek was such a dream, but it was also having a mini her... dressing her up... being able to not be the only girl at home.

"You two seem so happy." Callie smiles.

"We are, we really are." Addison smiles, moving her free hand to her stomach.

* * *

A woman knocks on Derek's office. Probably a nurse or other attending looking forward a chat with Doctor Shepherd. "Come on in!" Derek says out loud, stuck into some paperwork.

The well dressed woman came into the room. "You must be Doctor Shepherd? I'm Eliza Edwards, Carla and Jerry Lodge's lawyer. You must know them because of the case of their daughter, Linda Lodge. Can we have a little chat?" The woman closes the door and walks slowly towards Derek'a desk.

She takes her light blue glasses off and looks at the doctor still sitting on his chair.

"I'm sorry, what is this about?" He asks confused as why this woman was showing up, talking about Linda Lodge's case. He can sense this is nothing good.

"Well, I came here to ask when can we meet up with your lawyer. My clients and I have built a very strong case against you and the cause of Linda's death." The woman explains politely.

"I'm being sued, aren't I?" Derek asks seriously. He's into trouble, he's totally screwed.

"You clearly are." She nods.

* * *

"Honey, they can't just sue you. Do you even have a lawyer? I mean... do we have a lawyer?" Addison asks, sticking a finger with guacamole inside her mouth. They ordered Mexican food, based on what Addison was craving tonight.

"Richard said they can get me a good one, as hospital support or something like that." Derek says, looking for a glass on the cabinet nearest to Addison. The kitchen was small but somehow they figured how to move in there.

"You know who we should call?" Addison asks, looking up to him, pouring some water on her own glass.

"Addison, I'm not going to contact old friends, this isn't a tea party, I'm being sued." He says serious, moving to the refrigerator to get some ice.

"Chill. I just think it would be a good idea, come on, Weiss has always found the best assignment for every case homehow and you know how successful he's become!" Addison informs her husband. Derek gives her a stressed look and grabs his plate.

"Honey, I really don't want to call him. We'll stick up to the plan the lawyer they will assign me has." He assures her, leaving the kitchen, with her behind him, she's holding her food.

"It was just a suggestion." She says, sitting on the dining table.

"I'm not in the mood." He says, sitting on his chair next to Addison, settling the food on the table.

"Don't quote me without giving credits, I might sue you too." She giggles a little.

"Not helping." He gives her an annoyed look. Addison nods, letting him know she received the signal.

"Sorry..." she pats his shoulder and reaches for a napkin. "Everything will be okay, you know that, right?" She cleans her mouth with the napkin, he takes a bit of his taco. "I mean, I understand that Linda's parents must be devasted still, because of the loss of their daughter, but, come on, taking money out of her death? That's just... cruel. Awful. Lovingless." Addison states.

"It's horrible. I would never do that." He says after swallowing the piece of taco.

"Me neither. You tried your best inside of that OR, she died and by suing you they can't just... bring her back to life." Addison makes a point, brushing some of her hair out of her face.

"So sad... she wouldn't have liked this." Derek says, with a sad look, looking down to his food.

"I know. I'm sorry, honey." She says with half full mouth of food, holding his free hand across the table.

"It's okay. I'm pretty sure they will use my personal relationship with their daughter to make me weak on the case, if we go to the court." Derek says, watching their dog climbing on the couch.

"It's not like you had an affair with the kid, Derek. But you have a point, they must use that." She tries to hold a laugh.

"Linda was a great kid, she deserves better than this. I deserve better than this." Derek says, homesick. Nostalgic, maybe. Addison eats, she's hungry and starving and as much as she loves talking with Derek she deserves her food.

"It's so unfair." Addison frows at him, worried, after an uncomfortable silence.

"It really is." He manages to nod and go back on eating his food. "I don't understand what's the big issue after all." Derek reflects.

"Lodge family... I've heard of them. I think." Addison tries to make memory at when she heard the name.

"Why would you ever hear about them?" Derek chuckles. She rolls her eyes, squeezing his hand.

"Sweetheart, I know people who knows people who knows other people. Jerry Lodge got sued by his own step son two years ago, over the matter that his company built a fabric on the step son's land." Addison says, sounding all clever.

"You've been reading or something?" Derek chuckles a little, he's happy somehow there's a positive vibe inside of his home with Addison, it was safe from negativity.

"I swear I haven't! It's old, it happened like two years ago but it got into court like... for real, five months ago." Addison says, cleaning her hand with a napkin, she wasn't a Mexican food fan because of the fight of how messy it was eating it.

"Which would mean they lost a lot of money, meanwhile they were spending money on Linda's care... now they found a way to get some money back, by suing me!" Derek says, everything starts getting clear inside of his mind.

"So gross... using their own daughter for their better economy. I rather end up poor than take the money from such thing." Addison says.

"God, everything makes it looks like they wanted their daughter dead." Derek says disappointment, she can sense a bit of sadness on his voice.

"Horrible thought, but good theory." She says sincerely.

"Addie; I'm not kidding... Maybe that's why Linda's mom was always so nervous when we talked about surgery... and all I could do to save her." Derek says, taking a napkin and cleaning his mouth.

"I don't think they could be that kind of horrible monsters, who on earth would want their children dead?" Addison asks serious.

"The Lodges, Maybe." Derek says.

"That's just... too much to process." Addison says. Her phone buzzes.

"Who is it?" Derek asks, getting a tortilla chip.

"Your mother." Addison answers surprised herself, Derek chokes on his tortilla chip, coughing. "Are you okay?" She asks. He nods.

"Carolyn Shepherd, my mom? My mom?" He repeats. Addison nods serious.

"She says '_Hello Addison, how is my son? Liz and I are planning a trip to the Hamptons for the New Years. Wondering if you two are coming.'"_

"Oh. That's so unexpected." Derek says, Addison turns her phone off and focuses on her husband's surprised expression.

"It is." She nods. "Maybe we should go? I mean, it's new years and we haven't go to the Hamptons in such a long time." Addison says.

"I don't know... I know you like my family, but I don't like them." Derek says.

"But if we go you still will have me there." She jokes. "Also it's a perfect opportunity to let them know about our little Shepherd." She winks at him.

"I'll think about it." Derek nods at her. He loves how little things made by her could make him feel better. He had a crappy day, but she made it better.

"Okay. I'll convince you anyways." She smiles.

"I'm so sure it's not only Liz who's going... add my other three sisters to the mix." Derek says.

"Better. We get to tell all your family. Hopefully we can hide it for some days so we prepare ourselves..." Addison says, taking a sip from her bottle of water. Derek nods.

"You're already showing... they will know as soon as they see you, plus this is in some weeks, you'll be bigger." He says, being obvious.

"I can wear something not too tight... come on, it's winter anyways, I can wear a coat, a sweater. Yeah, a sweater seems fine." Addison says, wearing a light smile to make it much more friendlier. Derek giggles.

"Well, hopefully mom will take it right." He says.

"I don't want her to act different with our kid because I'm the mother... that happens." Addison says, a little worried but still brave about it.

"I don't think she will." Derek expresses his opinion.

"I would expect it anyways, she hates me." Addison says, rolling her eyes, taking another sip of her water.

"She doesn't hate you." Derek says right away.

"Are we seriously gonna discuss this, we always end up saying that she does hate me." She giggles a little.

"Okay, she does dislike you." He chuckles.

"Hates me." Addison says firmly.

"Sorry Honey..." he says, meeting her hand under the table, squeezing it a little.

"It's okay. You know what? I don't care. I don't need her approval anymore!" Addison smiles. "She's not stopping me from loving you or having this baby."

"You're cute." He smiles at her.

Derek walks through the hospital, looking for the clinical chart of one of his patients.

"Excuse me, Doctor Shepherd?" A woman asks. Derek turns around meeting Carla Lodge's green eyes. She was nervous as always.

"Misses Lodge... what can I do for you?" Derek asks, trying not to show his pessimism towards the woman too much, he was willing to be totally polite.

"I understand that you already had a talk with our lawyer, right?" The woman asks, her voice a little insecure.

"Eliza? Yeah I did. So, you're suing me." Derek says, resting an elbow on the table of the nurses station. He doesn't realize what kind of mistake he's making by talking about this out loud.

"I'm very sorry... but, it's for our family's sake. For Linda. You didn't had to try your best on that surgery... you know that you couldn't take the whole tumor, but you tried anyways, _killing_ my girl." The woman says, with a sour tone, a sad one at the end.

The sound of the word _killing _made Derek feel bad about himself as a surgeon, as a person and as a future father. He knows he didn't want to, it wasn't his fault, it was the destiny, wasn't it? But, he blamed himself even more now. Linda passed away, and it was too late to do something about it, being sued was stupid. It really was stupid.

"I tried my best on saving your girl, Misses Lodge. I was being a doctor inside of there. I saw an opportunity... if I would've not tried, she would have lived three more weeks anyway, You know that. I couldn't certify a whole lifetime after that surgery. You knew all the risks." Derek says. He's being rational. The woman in front of him was discomposing slowly, she was obviously traumatized and in pain after such loss, but it was no ones fault, and she was already gone.

"You didn't give us even a last day with her, Doctor Shepherd. The risks are something... what you did is other thing. You said it yourself that night... you said you tried to take the whole tumor out. We all knew that was impossible for her weak body to handle." The woman says firmly.

"Linda is, _was_ a person, remember that. She's not a cupon you and your husband can use to get money. She was a soul." Derek says firmly, too. The look of hate into Carla's eyes was massive.

"Believe me, I know that. That's why I'm looking forward a meeting with your lawyer as soon as possible." The woman says coolly.

Derek was screwed. But so were the Lodges. There was way too many arguments to go with, which made Derek feel so uncomfortable about everything happening. Was he going to win this case? Were they going to the court?

* * *

"Call Weiss." Addison insists.

"I'm not calling Weiss." Derek rolls his eyes, sitting next to her on the stairs of the trailer. It was a calm but cold night, both were very lucky to not find any rain.

"You should call Weiss." Addison keeps insisting.

"I need a drink, not Weiss." Derek says, sighing heavily. Addison patted his back, she's sorry for him, knowing how hard it was for him Linda's caseZ

"I'll prepare you one." Addison says, about to stand up.

"No, you don't have to." He says, resting a hand on her knee.

"But I want to!" She smiles and pecks his lips. He smiles a little.

"Fine, you win." Derek lets her go, she stands up and goes inside of the trailer, finding a bottle of scotch. She pours scotch inside of a glass and then comes out to give it to him. "Thank you" he mutters.

"You're welcome." She says sitting down next to him again.

"Should I be worried? I mean, my lawyer seems a dumbass already..." Derek says, maybe too dramatically.

"I told you to call Weiss. The hospital has good lawyers, but Weiss is a better lawyer. You know that. Even Savvy knows he is better than her." Addison informs her husband, once again she is insisting. She knows their friend is a professional and she knows that he would be glad to help. Plus, that would mean a meeting with old friends.

"I don't want them to come from New York all the way here, Addison. They have their own lives." Derek says. Well, that's pretty understandable.

"They are our friends, they would understand. You really should call them." Addison says once again.

"I'm so stressed about this whole thing." Derek says honestly.

"I know, I'm sorry." She says, running her hand through his black hair. "But it will get better, okay? I will be with you through the whole thing." She assures him. Derek nods and wraps an arm around her.

"What did I do to get so lucky?" He says, looking down to the redhead resting her head on his shoulder.

"I wonder the same." She says, kissing Derek. Suddenly what they thought it couldn't happen right now, happened. The rain started to pour, getting them all wet, Addison laughed against his lips, but the pounding rain wasn't going to make them stop kissing each other.

/_so sorry this chapter is so short... _


	22. Chapter 22

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 22_**

Derek being sued wasn't going to screw their holidays. It wasn't going to make it different. It was Christmas and all the Shepherds wanted was being home happy. Comfortable. Keeping each other warm. They asked for the twenty five and twenty six, knowing probably on the twenty four there was going to be way too many accidents at the hospital.

Addison had to admit she was excited, so was Derek. Their last appointment went so good, they finally found out the sex of their baby and checked if everything was okay, which was.

It was the morning of the twenty four, Christmas Eve. The day started pretty tough, Addison lost her keys, Derek broke a glass without wanting to, they were being silly and awkward the whole morning.

Addison walks through the nursery, finding Meredith Grey standing in there, watching the babies. "Doctor Grey... what are you doing in here?"

"Sorry I'm... I'm just watching the babies. I know I shouldn't be here." Meredith says, looking a little terrified at the tall redhead in front of her.

"Yeah you really shouldn't." Addison sighs, with a tone of superiority that annoys Meredith in such a heavy level.

"So... i heard you and _Derek_ were having a boy?" Meredith says, scanning Addison with a quick look, she was already showing since a while, it was obvious she was pregnant, that much that the news of her pregnancy were now unspoken.

"And... you wanna know that so you can make it public also?" Addison says, the resentiment towards the twelve year old intern was still present. She crosses her arms over her chest, looking down to the petty intern.

"No, i was looking forward congratulating you." Meredith says, she really was, she just wanted to leave the whole public pregnancy thing behind her, but it was obviously not happening.

"Oh, doctor Grey, i assure you i don't need your congratulations. Where did you hear that, by the way?" Addison says, Meredith really wants to roll her eyes dramatically at her, but she doesn't. She's not going to loose her temper.

"I overheard some nurses." Grey says simply.

"Those nurses are talking bullshit." Addison says, looking at the babies now.

"So, it's a girl?" Meredith gives a peek at Addison's baby bump and then goes back on watching the babies.

"If you want to I can lead you to the main building so you can shout it out to everyone who wants to hear about my husband's and my personal life." Addison looks with hate at Meredith Grey. Meredith sighs.

"Addison, I already apologized several times... I was drunk and I did something stupid." Meredith shakes her head, she was clearly apologizing.

"Yeah... I was also drunk and committed some stupid mistake, that's how you ended up entering my life." Addison says, kinda regretting reminding herself the whole cheating thing.

"That's rude." Meredith says, rising her voice a little. Was the young intern going to stand up for herself this time? Against Montgomery- Shepherd? For real?

"So is making someone else's pregnancy a hot gossip to tell. I am not a porn movie star that you can be talking about or torturing. I'm nothing like that." Addison says, leaving both of her hands on her robe pockets, turning to have a better view of the blonde's face.

"You're pissing me off." Meredith says sincerely, not afraid of what the attending could do to her.

"Your presence around her pisses me off too, do yourself a favor and don't come back here. I don't want to see you around my department." Addisons says, rudely, growing serious. She was capable of kicking the intern off of her area. She owned that place.

"I also work in this hospital, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith replies.

"You do. That's why I don't want you showing your face around here otherwise any of these new borns is one of your patients." Doctor Montgomery- Shepherd says, rising an eyebrow.

"I'm not leaving. It's my time off. I have a right to walk through these hallways, too." Meredith says, challenging. She doesn't know that Addison can go real wild in this moment of her life, this state of health.

"I'll gladly slap you once again if that will make you go away." Addison grins at the tiny intern. She doesn't know why she's acting so possessive and angry at this situation, she shouldn't feel threatened by that little bitch.

"You know what? You're just jealous." Meredith shakes her head, her arms crossed over her chest.

"I am the jealous one?" Addison laughs at that. She surely wasn't!

"You surely are. I dated your husband, I slept with him, he cheated on you with _me_. You are obviously revengous against me." Meredith brags.

"Grey, you are the jealous one. You see, Derek chose me. The hot redhead certified board surgeon. I've been knowing him for almost... what? A tercian of his life. Literally." Addison says, adding a sarcastic laughter to the sentence.

"Then why would you act so... sassy around me?" Meredith asks, maybe trying to annoy the pregnant woman a little more.

"Oh, you're asking me to give you a better treatment? That's just... not happening. You are an intern. I am your attending. And, for the record, I'm prettier and smarter. Ellis Grey might be your mother, you have the last name, and the career already made by _her_, not _you._ I created my whole path by myself." Addison says, it was true, she created her reputation by herself. She created her title and she raised from the ashes many times, not needing to brag about what name she had, ever.

"Thought your rich mommy helped you with that." Meredith says, basing herself on what she got to see of Bizzy Forbes.

"Don't you dare mention my mother." Addison says. The matter of her mother got delicate since she had her tumor. Somehow Addison connected a little bit more with her.

"You're furious your husband is still in love with me." meredith says, nonsense, obviously. Derek wasn't in love with her, at least not with her, but with Addison... with Addison he was lost on everything he did, she was his everything.

"You're furious you know what I just told you is all truth. Come on Grey, cheer up. You don't have to give a crap about anything, you're gonna have all your titles and payment for free. After all, you are Ellis Grey's daughter." Addison tilts her head, smirking at the idea the intern was burning in anger inside, how much hate she was expressing!

"I earned this." Meredith points to herself with her own finger, trying to give some kind of effect that Addison found pretty childish.

"So did it. Oh, I think she's kicking." Addison says, moving her hand to her belly, knowing Meredith was completely jealous about the Shepherds new addition to the family. Addison loved the look Meredith gave her at that exact minute. She was also smiling brightly at the feel of her daughter moving inside of her. It was magical. She couldn't wait to go home and tell Derek.

"I don't get how he's with you... he's blind, he doesn't see what kind of witch you are." Meredith says, cutting off Addison's special moment.

"Oh sweetie, you're right... he got kinda blind for a time. That's when he met you!" Addison laughs falsely at the end of that sentence, still rubbing her stomach, walking away from the petite blonde woman.

"Okay, that's enough." Meredith yells at her, Addison turns around, meeting her eyes once again.

"What? Are you going to beat up a pregnant woman?" Addison rests her hand on her hip to give it much more dramatism. She's so furious today and annoyed, irritated.

"I could try." Meredith says, still with that angelical tone that can make everyone a fool.

"Drop It. Leave my floor. For once in your life stop being so pathetic..." Addison rolls her eyes, her free hand on her stomach.

"Excuse me?" Meredith pretends as she got hurt by that comment, being dramatically annoyed as Addison.

"Look, my husband... he used you, like a toy, for a long... long, very long time. Trust me, I laughed at the end. But what's the important thing, he's with me now." Addison starts venting her malevolent comments that she's been keeping to herself.

"You're his obligation, can't you see?" Meredith fights back, thinking she's got a point.

"Meredith, don't be pathetic, don't chase after him, don't look at him like you are undressing him with the eyes, you aren't helping yourself." Addison says, wisely.

"Why do you believe that? Did he told you he doesn't love me anymore?" Meredith asks, a bit of concern on her voice... she's madly in love with that neurosurgeon, isn't she? She- Shepherd would like to laugh.

"Do you care, Doctor Grey?" Addison raises an eyebrow again, giving it dramatism. She likes cat fights, specially when she's winning. Which she is.

"He might be lying, because he said he didn't love you anymore, several times... I'm still surprised you didn't find us that night at prom." Meredith fantasizing about her failed love story with Derek was kind of funny, Addison hated how she bragged about that night so... sweetly, even fresh... she hated it. She hated the smile Grey made every time something like that could come up.

"You wish you could have that night again, i can guess. Sadly, not happening. Maybe in your... dreams." Addison giggles at such stupid comment coming out from Meredith's mouth.

"You are so full of yourself. Aren't you?" Meredith tilts her head a little, massaging the back of her neck with her own hand.

"You are past. I'm future. She's _our_ future." Addison rubs her stomach once again, she's proud of carrying a Shepherd inside of her uterus.

"Maybe I'll make sure some people know that _she's _your future." Meredith snaps at the obstetrician.

"You should catch them up on our news... maybe you should also tell them you heard us moan in an on call room yesterday. Ah, Well, I moaned louder than Derek..." she says, bragging her sex life with her husband, bragging on Meredith's face who got picked by McDreamy. Addison feels a little disgusted Meredith depends that much on a man, empowered women don't depend on men. Right? But addison really liked to brag about how good her husband was in bed, she really did like making the intern jealous.

"That's so out of line." Meredith says, rolling her eyes finally, something she wanted to do since quite a while.

"I should have shut up my mouth a while ago when you refused on leaving." Addison says simply.

"I never refused." Meredith says.

"You're here, standing still in front of me." Addison snaps. Meredith mumbles something without any sense.

"You wish you could have a successful mother like mine, don't you?" Meredith says. She has kept her expression very serious and bitchy.

"Yeah, sure... because a whole successful family isn't ideal. You see, part of being a Forbes is being confident. I'm confident Derek forgot about you and your skinny ass months ago, I'm confident you might feel a little too much insecure when I'm near to you." Addison says, she likes fighting now. It's fun, maybe?

"I'm confident I make you anxious. Who knows? Maybe you cheated him again, are you expecting Sloan's baby?" Meredith says. Okay, that was really cruel. Addison really felt like slapping her right now, right there. But she kept that anger for herself, she already left that woman rubbing her cheek for quite a long time.

"Ha, good one, Grey." Addison nods.

"No, I'm being serious. If I were Derek I would totally demand for a paternity test before accepting on raising a baby with such a witch... i'm sorry, with such a successful proud woman like you." Meredith gives Addison of her own medicine, the redhead can't help but laugh at such stupid words.

"Your try of slut shaming me isn't gonna work." Addison looks away, no chatty nurses near, good sign.

"Who said I was going to slut shame you?" Meredith asks, getting the pregnant attending even a bit more annoyed.

"I don't know, I assumed... since you already made me this hospital's joke." Addison says.

"My biggest pleasure." Meredith cuts her off, which pisses off Addison, but keeps talking about her idea.

"Maybe I could have some payback from that!" Addison says, her revenge coming through.

"What do you mean?" Meredith raises an eyebrow, confused of what she's saying. Addison has already planned a good plan for her.

"I should ask the chief if he would like to get you on my services. I am Richard's favorite since med school, he will understand." Addison smiles, nodding to herself, pretty proud of her idea. Meredith feels terror all over her body. They screwed her, badly.

"What? But... what about Karev?" Meredith says, trying to save herself from having to spend time with Satan.

"Oh, don't worry about him. You're gonna get to work on neonatal! It's gonna be fun, Grey. We'll get to know each other. You'll love this." Addison smiles brightly.

"Hey, no. You can't just hand me this." Meredith says, annoyed. She really doesn't want to have to deal with this, to do this, why her? Why now? Wasn't her actual state of personal life enough karma?

"Hand you this?" Addison asks, with a malevolent smile, she moves a bit of her hair off of her face.

"Yeah, you can't just give me this position. I have to earn it, this isn't fair." Meredith says, Addison bits her lip and takes a deep breath.

"You certainly have earned this position, Doctor Grey. You helped on my first case and you were... pretty... polite with patients. I assure you, you truly earned being on my watch." Addison smiles.

"I can't accept it, it's Alex's position, he is your intern." Meredith says, she's not doing this because of her friendship with Karev. She's clearly saying this to save herself from She- Shepherd's torture and daily hate.

"Well, you will not have to deal with me for quite a long time. Lucifer... I'm sorry, Doctor Rutherford. She will take my interns, not to mention cases and patients while I'm having my maternity leave. Karev will be so pleaseant to here the fact he will not have to deal with that." Addison informs the intern, glad herself of not being that much around Grey after all, maybe she wasn't going to put her on her services until forever or something, maybe all of this conversation... I mean, fight, was to annoy her and terrify her and enjoy herself as a punisher. Addison smiles and starts walking away.

"Doctor Shepherd!" Meredith yells again, stopping Addison from keeping walking away. Grey wants to keep fighting?

"You know... I regret standing up for you when I first came here. You were the dirty mistress and I stood up for you. I acted kind and considerate... but you paid me back by telling everybody I was, I am, having a baby." Addison informs the intern. She's happy to vent that after all this time, sometimes being kind couldn't work out that well. Addison couldn't just blame Grey for the unfaithful episodes her husband had with the intern, but she wanted to, she already forgave Derek, and Meredith grey kept messing up with her.

"You are such a cold bitch." Meredith says. Addison doesn't mind hearing that, she's satisfied which was their verbal fight.

"I will be so pleased by having you under my control." Addison smiles, turning around again, Doctor Burke approaching. "Doctor Burke, lets go?"

"Sure. How's our patient doing today?" Burke and Shepherd keep walking away from the nursery, talking about some kind of case. Meredith looks kind of hurt, annoyed by all the things Addison stated on her face and, for her bad, it was all true.

"I overhead from some nurses that you got all wild around the nurseries today... Someone bothering my lovely wife?" Derek asks Addison, lighting up her mood, stopping by her office.

"Oh, hey! It was nothing. You're ready to go home as I see..." Addison smirks at Derek carrying his coat on one of his arms.

"I am. Are you? You seem pretty busy with that." Derek says, getting inside, leaving his coat on the little couch that was in there. Addison smirks, she loves having him around.

"I am... I was just... googling some stuff." Addison explains. Derek peeks a little into Addison's computer.

"You mean... shopping?" He laughs, approaching her, kissing her temple and then resting his chin on her head, looking into what she was looking on the computer.

"Yeah... now that we know the sex of our baby, we should starts looking for items to buy." Addison smiles brightly. How cozy is having him near.

"We already have the crib, the bedding... we should start buying those things by now, but, you don't have to push it that much." Derek says softly, smiling at the excitement his wife had... well, she had excitement for whatever that obligated her to shop.

"I know I have to relax about it..." Addison rolls her eyes, turning her chair around to meet her husband's lovely blue eyes.

"You really should." He winks. Addison stands up from the chair. "Let's go home? Figured I could cook you something."

"Looking forward to it." She pecks his lips. She tilts her head, trying to act cute; a piece of hair falls out of her clip and flops right into her face. He smiles with a little chuckle, reaching out to push the lock of hair behind her ear; his hand lingers for a moment, hesitating somehow, first on her jaw and then on her cheek, and it's almost a Hallmark movie scene, cheesy... until their own daughter wanted to end that cute moment.

"Hey!" Addison says in surprise, grabbing his hand, pulling her blouse up, so she could place his hand on the place their daughter was kicking, she knew probably Derek wasn't going to feel it, but he did.

"She's kicking!" He smiles brightly, his eyes going up and down, from her baby bump to her eyes. "Our girl kicks!" Derek announces cheerful and proud. He's a proud father already, so excited for meeting their daughter.

"She does." Addison smiles brightly, back ten years ago she would have said it was crazy something like this could be happening to her. She has a dog and a baby on the way, plus she doesn't live on the fancy upper east side anymore, she's miles away from that, but she found happiness anyways, by a prince's side. She was grateful. "So, the Hamptons... next week?" Addison says, trying to convince him again.

"Addie..." Derek already sees her insisting once again, when she wanted something, she wasn't going to drop it that easily.

"It's family! Come on... plus you will get to hear me sing again, probably, if I'm in the mood." Addison says; she's willing to lie and give thousands excuses and arguments why they should go.

"You really know how to convince me." He chuckles, pecking her lips. She holds his hand.

"Please. Me, you, the Hamptons house. Mom still sends a maid one time per month to keep it clean." She winks at him playfully.

"She still does that?" Derek asks surprised, even in concern on who enters their Hamptons house. Derek noticed the way Addison said 'mom', he was proud both Forbes women got closer.

"I swear, she told me the last time she was here." Addison says, nodding her head.

"First and probably last time?" Derek asks, to give a better effect, or impact. Maybe trying to be the goofball he always was when he was in a good mood.

"Exactly." She says, following.

"Lovely. Okay, I agree... hopefully it will help to clear my mind about the whole suing thing." Derek sighs, tired of spending his whole day with annoying lawyers.

"Yeah, hope so, too. By the way, I kind of kicked the twelve year old intern's ass today." Addison says, biting her lip to make an effect. Derek's eyes widen, but then he laughs spontaneously.

"Did you slap her once again?" Derek asks curiously as to what the answer would be.

"No." Addison admits, regretting not slapping her for the second time.

"Oh... where's the fun on not slapping?" Derek asks, it was bad to foment Addison's bitchy behavior, but it got sexy for his eyes.

"I don't know, you tell me? Plus, I can't keep doing such brutal things with these two world class surgeon hands. I can't waste them on slapping skinny bitches, you said it yourself." She says, posing a hand on his chest, playing with the buttons of his blue navy shirt.

"I missed you." Derek says sincerely, pecking her lips.

"What do you mean? I've been here the whole time." She giggles, still playing with a button of his shirt.

"I missed the young and funny you... it feels like..." Derek starts talking.

"When you proposed?" Addison cuts in, but finishes the sentence perfectly. He smiles honestly.

"Kind of." He nods, happy she gets him.

"Yeah i feel like that too." She leans and kisses him.

"Hey, i wanna keep listening about what you did to Meredith?" Derek says, looking forward hearing the whole story.

"She's a bitch." Addison sighs. Derek laughs at her dramatical way of being sometimes.

It was time to go home and rest, have a casual Christmas Eve. They both loved Christmas, and knew they had to start working on new traditions, after all they were bringing a kid into the world soon enough to get a little much mature.

Ordering Chinese food after a long day wasn't going to be a cure of starvingness anymore. Both would have to cut their working hours too, which was going to mess up with their schedules heavily, but both wanted to be there, see their child grow up, be there and just... stay.

Addison was sometimes afraid that after becoming a mom she would leave her passion and dedicate herself as a housewife, picking the kids from school, cooking the meals, waiting for the husband to come home. She was afraid she would end up that way.

He was afraid of not paying enough attention to their daughter because of work, he was pretty sure life was going to give him challenges as soon as their angel would arrive. He wanted to be a father, and he couldn't wait to experience such joy, calling someone your daughter. That was powerful.

On the floor of their living room, both covered by blankets, curled into each other, they found themselves having a pleasurable Christmas. Tarek was asleep on his bed, the lights were lower, that made it so cozy and very nice to spend time near each other.

Both couldn't imagine themselves anywhere else in that minute. It was them against the world. Seattle offered the rainy weather, unlike New York, that would be pure snow. But both were okay with the rain, it was their new thing.

"Charlotte is a name your mother would pick." Addison says with a laugh. Derek rolls his eyes but gets her point. "We need a decent name we both love. Our daughter will grow with it her whole life."

"I know, sorry. I wanna hear about your fight with Meredith, still." Derek insists, this might be his attempt thirty two trying to get some gossip from his wife.

"Dear, stop insisting." She says, looking up, while resting on his chest. "We just had a discussion. I won anyways, and now I'm getting to punish her until our child _'pops'_ out of me." She laughs at that.

"I would have liked seeing you kick her ass." He giggles. He had to admit he had some hate saved against her, she was a big deal and had been hurting his family. Addison.

"I know you would have loved it." She nods. "To make you feel better, I will tell you that I snapped plenty of times and all she could say was my name _'Doctor Shepherd! Doctor Shepherd!'_ All the damn time." She informs.

"Annoying." Derek says, stroking her hair.

"Very." She nods, sighing.

"And... do you have ideas for baby names?" He rubs her stomach. She smiles up to him, and pecks his lips.

"I like Rachel... it would be cute. Rachel Shepherd." Addison says.

"That's a cute name!" Derek nods, kissing her neck.

"I think so." She nods, moving herself a little, not looking forward having sex on Christmas, not that she was religious, but it didn't feel like it was the ocassion. "Maybe if we let it go... we don't have to push it. Right?" She says all rational.

"True. We don't have to push it." Derek agrees, rubbing her stomach still, she loves that feeling of being safe.

"Even though that's what love mades me do." She says, all romantic, looking up again, pecking his lips.

"What love made _us_ do." He says.


	23. Chapter 23

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 23_**

"Amelia will probably be the only one freaking out for real." Addison says, going up the stairs of their Hamptons house. Derek behind her carrying the bags.

"how come I always end up carrying our packages?!" He says annoyed as soon as both arrive to the second floor.

"Sorry... I'm pregnant. I can't do such thing." Addison says, placing both hands on her swallowed stomach. She was in love with her little baby bump.

"I kind of blame myself because of that." He laughs, leaving the last luggage on the floor. He approaches Addison, stroking her cheek.

"That doesn't sound cute." She rolls her eyes.

"Sorry." He laughs a little at the way Addison manages to give him a look with hate.

Thank God they cleared their schedules to get to have a getaway to the Hamptons. Derek wasn't a fan of this place or house, but he couldn't deny it was a very warm and nice place to spend the spring. Also, Derek would gladly accompany Addison, and in this case, he was dragged back there because of his mother and sister... sisters.

"I'm jet lag." She says simply, sitting on their bed.

For real there was a maid that went to the house, because when they went back it was everything pretty clean and the beds were perfect.

"Yeah, me too. Six hours of a flying... it's exhausting, he says, sighing heavily, taking his shoes off. She takes her high heels, sighing.

"Oh God, my foot." She says, massaging her own feet.

"You should stop wearing high heels, you're pregnant, must be heavy for your toes, being supported on those two things." Derek says, sitting next to her, rubbing her back.

"My problem is that I sadly don't have anything else to wear." She rolls her eyes, facing Derek, who's wearing a smile. "Don't smile at me like that..." she says, giving him a _stop_ look.

"Like what?" He smiles, all McDreamy. Sometimes she hated when she recognized her husband was McDreamy for real.

"Like you would really want to undress me." She says, with a little laugh, supporting her body on her two elbows, looking now up to him.

"Then why are you doing that?" He chuckles, looking down to Addison.

"I don't know what are you referring to." She smirks flirtatiously. Maybe he was McDreamy, but she was Satan.

"You want me to undress you, don't you?" Derek smirks, leaning, being on top, for sure.

"Kind of, but I'm too tired for sex now." She says, pushing him aside, with a laugh, stepping up from the bed, looking for her purse, where she's sure she left her phone. He looks at her, and manages to smirk.

"Who are you calling?" Derek asks right away. She dials a number.

"Weiss." She mutters. Derek's face goes from flirty happy husband to stressed man.

"No, hung out. We don't wanna call them." Derek stands up from the bed quickly, trying to take the phone out of Addison's hands.

"Too late!" She mutters, fighting back Derek's hands. "Hey! It's Addison." She says in excitement. Derek surrenders fighting for now, it's done, his wife called his friends.

"Addison!" Derek tries to stop her. She raised a hand, in the meaning that she was busy.

"So wonderful! How are you?... oh, us? We're fine, great... actually, we have a little problem, maybe you can help us with that." Addison keeps talking on the phone.

"Addison, shut it." Derek rolls his eyes, approaching Addison for the last time.

"We're being sued! Not me just Derek..." Addison explains. Derek joins his fingers on the top of his nose, as a nervous or stressed habit. After some minutes of Addison rambling, talking, laughing and smiling, then changing to serious and then ending up with the brightest smile, she ends the call.

"He's taking the case." Addison says, cheerful, happy.

"Addison..." Derek starts talking, Addison can sense he will be grumpy and mad at what she just did, so she cuts him off.

"Derek, don't talk. Don't yell at me. Look, we are both stubborn, and when I have a point I have a point, he's gonna help us, and you know he's the best. So, instead of being pissed at me, you should smile at me, kiss me and then congratulate me because I'm an amazing wife." Addison says, bragging about what treasure she is.

"I was going to say thank you." Derek says, grinning. Making Addison feel good about herself.

They both smiled at each other for a while, until both broke their romantic look so they could get some sleep. They were both exhausted, it had been a long trip.

* * *

"What the heck is this?" Derek asks, driving the car they borrowed from Bizzy's Hamptons house, that happened to be near their house. Bizzy swore to God that if the car wasn't as perfect as when it was she would be capable of freezing Addison's trust fund. Which made Addison rolls her eyes heavily plenty of times when her mother repeat it for the fourth time.

"Matthew Wilder." Addison explains, enjoying the song. Derek frows at her, strangely.

"Addison, since when do you listen to this kind of cheesy vintage 80s songs?" Derek asks, looking back to the road, maybe he missed way too much of drunk and sad Addison during the two months of their separation.

"It's my jam! Now shut up and let me listen to it." Addison asks, obligating Derek to laugh at that. She loves his laugh, but preferred to concentrate on the song.

"Don't get me wrong, I like your jam. It's good... I guess." He grins. She looks at him while he keeps driving, she has to admit she's nervous about telling the Shepherds they are having a new addition to the family.

"It is good." She says finally. He smiles. She smiles back, noticing that they are near Liz' house. She feels her stomach turning, it's like some kind of vertigo.

"I am nervous of how my mom will take the news." Derek says sincerely, sighing. Addison nods along. She has had missed The Hamptons, the fresh air and not rainy days.

"Me too. Gotta admit I'm scared this could spoil the whole afternoon." She says, looking worried at Derek, who bits his lip a little nervous at what kind of family chaos New Years could end up like.

"I have a complicated family." Derek says simply. She giggles, making him giggle too.

"You really do. How should we tell them? Suddenly everything we were essaying doesn't matter." Addison says, running a hand through her hair.

"They will notice anyways. You will be without a drink on your hand, they will know right away." Derek says, with that '_obviously'_ voice he always does.

"Derek!" Addison says, looking at him, acting annoyed. She really wishes she could hit his arm but he's driving and she doesn't want to cause any kind of accident.

"What?" Derek laughs at Addison's annoying expression.

"You make me sound like an alcoholic." She says, crossing her arms over her chest. She's glad she picked an outfit that indeed doesn't show her almost none baby jump.

"No, it's just that ... You like your merlot. And they know that. Because we all need something strong when they are near." Derek says sincerely. Addison nods, agreeing with his point. Festivities with Derek's family were always heavy to handle.

"I have an idea, I can have sparkly water and make them think is a vodka tonic." Addison point out.

"It's Liz' house, not Nancy's ten years ago." Derek rolls his eyes.

"We will act civilized until some of your sisters comments something and then we will say it. Does it seem a good idea to you?" Addison says, not finding any other ideas.

"I agree." Derek nods, his eyes on the road again.

"Good." She smiles proudly after they finally found a way to make it public.

Derek has to admit he's nervous and maybe even terrified at what Carolyn's reaction might be. She wasn't Addison's best fan, and she did supported Derek on divorcing the redhead back months ago, which made things even harder. Derek had swore he wasn't going to be back with Addison, which... ended up being a lie, but his mother might have been the only one taking those news with happiness and joyful tears. Carolyn Shepherd never liked Addison, and it was even harder for the woman to accept the rich girl to use her name.

Finally at Liz' house, they could barely find space to park their car, since the rest of the family was there, obviously. It was four thirty- three pm. Derek helps Addison get out of the car.

"I'm shaking." She says. Derek pecks her lips.

"Take it easy, Nancy is probably gonna talk about many people and tell Lizzie how horrible her decoration is for the time one hundred and twenty two." He laughs, comforting Addison by passing his hands up and down her arms, trying to calm her down.

"True. Can't wait for that part." She nods, walking slowly, holding hands with Derek after he closes the car. He squeezes her hand. They give each other a look before stepping into the stairs of the entry.

"Whatever that my mother says about _it, _don't listen. Okay?" Derek says, stroking her cheek. She nods silent and takes a deep breath. "You and our child are the two most important people in this world for me right now. So, if she says something out of place, we can leave. If you feel uncomfortable just let me know, and I'll take the keys of the car and we'll leave. Alright?" Derek says, giving Addison a cute look that she can swear she's in med school meeting him for the first time.

"Okay." She says. Derek gives her a little grin, he can't stop looking into her eyes, after kissing her softly, both go up the couple stairs, pushing the button of the doorbell.

Well dressed Amelia opens the door, sighing in relief at the happy couple. "Thank God you guys are here! I'm dying inside." She says all drama queen. Addison chuckles, the black haired woman grinned at both.

"Hi Amy" Derek says, his annoying tone being as present as always. He loved his family, but there was always a love-hate relationship between everyone.

"Brother, looking as boring as always." Amelia jokes, getting closer to him so they can hug. Amelia is definitely Derek's favorite sister, for sure.

"It's good to see you, too." Addison says, as soon as they end their hug. Amelia smiles at her sister in law, glad she's in there too.

"Come here, you gurl!" Amelia says, all urban dictionary style, pulling the redhead into a hug. It feels good to be home. After they end their hug, Amelia glares at both for a moment. "Something is off with you two..."

"Amy?" A voice calls from the inside of the house, Ameli turns around for a second. Derek looks down to the floor, thankful they were being saved right away. "Why do you take so long?" Liz says, looking at her youngest sister.

"Hey..." Addison greets. Liz' eyes go from Amelia's annoyed face to Addison's awkward one.

"Addison! Derek! You're finally here!" Lizzie says in excitement, moving Amelia out of the door so she can open it completely. She hugs Addison first and then Derek.

"We said we were coming." Derek says, it's obvious they are there, right? They both enter the house, Amelia closing the door behind them.

"Yeah, to be honest we were already betting you weren't." She laughs a little, helping Addison with her coat. Addison begs to the universe she's going to survive this night.

"Who lost money?" Derek laughs. Addison chuckles a little. Amelia crossing her arms over her chest, leaving the three of them in there, leaving the room to go instale herself in the living room again.

"Mom owes me eighty bucks. I'm gonna get rich next time there's a festivity. Wanna come on Easter too?" Lizzie jokes. It's good to see family. Both missed the kind and funny part of the family.

"Where's everybody?" Addison asks.

"The kids are upstairs, playing. Us, the old are in the living room." Liz says. Addison nods with a smile. She reaches for Derek's hand, finding it immediately she gives it a little squeeze as they all walk through the short corridor into the living room.

"Crap, I owe you twenty." Nancy says right away. Standing up from the couch. Addison laughs at that, seeing Nancy opening her arms to hug her. "You two seem so... cozy together." Nancy says as they break the hug, examinating Addison from feet to head.

"It's called loving each other." Derek interferes. Nancy gives him a grin.

"Hello brother." Nancy hugs Derek. Addison stares at the siblings hugging, knowing Carolyn is not giving her the best look.

After hugging everyone, Carolyn, who seemed a little annoyed as always, every brother in law, and the other Shepherd sister, Kathleen; Addison and Derek finally got a place next to each other on the couch. Amelia stared at Addison for a long time.

"Does anyone want anything to drink?" Kathleen asks. Amelia drinks her ginger ale silent, still looking at Addison, in a way that she's creeping the redhead out.

"Water." Derek says. Carolyn and Nancy give Derek a surprised glare.

"Water? Brother, it's New Years, no one drinks water in New Years." Nancy points out. Making Addison and Kathleen laugh out loud.

"I am driving my wife back home, I'm trying to keep myself as sober as I can." Derek says politely. Nancy nods.

"Good point." Amelia comments. Derek's brothers in law go outside to smoke a cigarette and have a beer, maybe to also catch up about the Yankees or whatever.

"Okay, so, water for Mrs. Sober. Addison? Anything?" Kathleen asks, willing to take care of the guests even if it's not her house.

"I'll go with you." Addison says. It was a trick to just help but never get to that uncomfortable part when everyone looks at you like '_why aren't you drinking?'._

Addison stands up from the couch, trying her best on not showing herself too much. She leaves with Kate Inside of the kitchen. Amelia sits next to Derek.

"Hey." She says, almost whispering at her brother.

"You scared me." Derek jumps a little, putting a hand on his chest.

"Oh, don't be dramatic." She rolls her eyes. The rest of the family commenting on the fact one of Derek's nieces lost a teeth, which for them is amazing.

"What's up?" He asks. Amelia looks at him, serious, not even blinking.

"What's wrong with Addison? She's all acting weird and insecure." Amelia crosses her arms over her chest looking at Derek, concerned.

"I don't have idea what you're talking about." Derek shakes his head a little, he's a good liar and he knows that, which is why Amelia will not get to know until it's time to say.

"Come on, I'm sure you see it too. When she took her coat she was looking around in case someone was staring, when she hugged me she barely squeezed me like she always do, and you two have been giving each other those kind of _'I'm nothing without you' _looks." Amelia says. Derek chuckles a little at that thing she said about their looks.

"Amy, calm down. Mom always gives Addison death glares in this kind of... get together thing. So, we feel uncomfortable about it." Derek gives a lame reason, knowing it will give him and Addison time.

"Say whatever you want to say, I don't believe you anyways." Amelia says, looking at Nancy across the room so she can act a little much more natural.

"Would you please sit back where you were? Addison's coming back." Derek says, as he sees Kate holding two bottles of wine, and Addison carrying the glasses in one hand, along with Derek's water on her other hand. Amelia makes her way back to her anterior sit.

"Hey." Addison says, taking a deep breath as she sits down next to Derek again. Before she gives him his water she takes a sip. "I need a drink." She says to Derek, making sure no one can hear.

"Me too." He says, running a hand through his hair.

"You two have been too quiet." Nancy says, catching their attention. "How's your shepherd?" Everyone else putting their eyes on them.

"Sorry?" Addison asks, a little scared they might find out somehow.

"Your dog. It was a Shepherd or an Akita? I can't differentiate them when they are that young." Nancy says.

"It's a shepherd." Derek says, letting his hand rest on Addison's knee. "He's alright, bigger as the last time you saw him." Derek says.

"Ironic." Carolyn giggles a little. Kate laughs along with their mother.

"His name is Tarek." Addison comments. She wishes this awkward visit could end up soon.

"I love him" Amelia confesses, groaning a little.

"Yeah, you wouldn't love him that much after he starts chewing the furniture." Derek laughs.

"And steals underwear." Addison points out, remembering when Tarek had some fun with Addison's bras.

"Yeah... that stage was rough." Derek nods, making everyone laugh.

"How old is it?" Carolyn asks, being nice, or sounding like it.

"Our dog?" Addison asks terrified once again, she's good covering it though.

"Who else?" Carolyn says in an obvious tone.

"He's like six months, I think." Addison says.

"Yeah, he's six months." Derek nods.

"I imagined you two with a child before a dog, I guess that didn't work out." Kate jokes, making everyone laugh, even Addison and Derek, who laugh trying to act as natural as possible except from Amelia, who's biting her lip, knowing something is off.

"To be honest me too." Nancy says honestly.

Suddenly Addison feels it, her daughter moving. All she wants is rubbing that spot on her stomach but she really can't. This is making her stress out. "Maybe now?" She whispers into Derek'a ear.

"You sure?" He asks, trying not to be too loud, the rest of the family concentrated on Liz and her husband who are moving to another house next year, things that Addison and Derek don't really care.

"It's a good moment." Addison replies.

"Okay." He grins at her, making her grin back nervously.

She sighs in relief, meeting Amelia's expecting eyes, Addison manages to smile at her and let her hand pose on her stomach. Amelia looks down to her hand and then up to her eyes. She opens her mouth and she could scream, she gets the message, her lips are sealed.

Nancy and Liz keep discussing on something that makes Carolyn laugh.

"Wasn't it, Derek?!" Nancy looks at her brother.

"Wasn't it what? I'm not following." Derek says, Addison takes Derek's glass and takes a sip.

"That Liz was the one who broke mother's clock when we were kids." Nancy says. Derek processes the information trying to remember a clock. Addison loves this kind of weird moments into the family reunions.

"Um, no, I'm pretty sure that was me." Amelia cuts in.

"Yeah, that was Amelia." derek agrees.

"I told you it was Amy." Liz says to Nancy, Carolyn tries not to laugh.

"How come I remember you breaking it in front of me?"

"My sister is dillusional" Derek laughs. "We broke tons of things." He laughs.

"I'm sure that was mom's favorite lamp." Liz says.

"That was Derek." Nancy, Amelia, Kate and Carolyn say the same time.

"You broke the lamp?" Addison asks with a laugh.

"I did. If our kid breaks lamps it's my fault." Derek says, teasingly. Addison didn't see that coming, she's surprised herself.

"What?" Liz asks.

"What did you say?" Nancy asks. The sisters have their eyes widen, including Carolyn.

"You're...?" Kate wants to ask.

"Expecting a girl." Addison finished the sentence, with a big bright smile. Amelia looks at Carolyn with a funny look, she's glad the news are told.

"A niece!?" Liz asks.

"Oh, Addison... Congratulations." Nancy says, stepping up from her seat. Addison stood up from hers too. "After twelve years of marriage my brother finally knocked you up." Nancy says, hugging Addison.

"Hey, I can hear you." Derek says.

"That was the point." Nancy winks at him after breaking the hug.

All the Shepherd sisters wanted their hugs with mama Addison, for sure. But now they wanted to hear more about it.

"How many weeks?" Liz asks still shook.

"Almost seventeen." Addison informs the family proudly, finally being able to rub her stomach, the feeling of their little girl moving, it's magical.

"Gotcha. Now I understand why you're wearing that blouse." Kate laughs.

Carolyn just... stares. But she doesn't say a word.

"Mom!" Nancy tries to _'wake her up'_.

"Yeah?" Carolyn gives Nancy a look.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Liz asks. Nancy nods at that.

"Sure." Carolyn looks at Addison and Derek. Derek looks ready to receive a good hit, so does Addison. "Have you taken a paternity test yet?"

Yes, they were so sure this was going to happen. Derek opened his mouth. "Are you being serious?" Derek asks, his voice growing angrily.

"I am. She cheated, didn't she? How are we so sure it's not another failed child?" Carolyn asks. Addison sighs and rolls her eyes, she's hurt by Carolyn's words but is too proud to tear up in front of everybody.

"Excuse me." Addison says, standing up from her sit, walking outside of the room. Amelia stands up quickly and follows Addison. Derek knows Amelia will keep a good company for his wife, while he talks to Carolyn, and if needed he would take some support from Nancy, Kate and Liz.

"You really had to do that?" Derek asks firmly, looking into his mother's eyes. Nancy shaked her head in disappointment. Derek was furious, knowing Carolyn might have said this just wanting to be cruel to Addison.

"Mother, what the hell? Imagine that was one of us." Nancy says, being all protective on her sister in law.

"I would ask you the same and you know that." Carolyn says, pointing at Nancy for asking that.

"Of course you would, but not in front of the rest of the family." Kate says. "Mom, Addison apologized many times. She cried in your front door."

"She did." Liz cooperates.

"She's my wife. She's carrying my child. I know you dislike her, but at least be respectful. You always taught us to be respectful. Maybe she cheated, but I can't say I'm a saint, because I cheated back." Derek says. Something that everyone knew but it was finally said out loud makes Carolyn to feel sorry somehow.

"You're sure it's yours?" Carolyn asks once again, she's not loosing this argument.

"It's mine. Addison and I have been trying. I trust her now, she committed a mistake, I committed a mistake. Now we are gifted with her." Derek raises his voice.

"Bro, calm the hell down." Lizzie says. Kate rolls her eyes at her.

"Let him express his feelings." Kate says right away, of course she was going to say that, she was the shrink after all.

"Why you can't be happy for me and Addison?" Derek asks showing himself a little hurt.

Carolyn gives Derek a pensative glare. She's thinking.

* * *

"Addie... it's alright. You know my mother is a bitch usually all the time." Amelia says, sitting on the cold kitchen floor next to Addison. It wasn't that clean, since Liz barely used her Hamptons house, it was even weird of having a Hamptons house, at least it was to the other members of the family, who had to sleep on expensive hotels to get to attend to these kind of things. Amelia wrapped an arm around Addison, pulling her closer.

"This is such a mess. I am such a mess. I would ask the same if I were Carolyn." Addison shakes her head, trying to hold the tears coming out of her eyes.

"No, that's a lie. We both know that's a lie." Amelia says. Addison keeps herself shut up, breathing slowly, trying to focus on anything else but that woman being cruel. "Hey, congratulations." Amelia says, holding Addison's hand and giving it a little squeeze, knowing she was looking forward finding support on her.

"Thank you." Addison wipes a tear running through her cheek. She can tell Amelia is her favorite Shepherd sister, too.

"It's my brother's baby, right?" Amelia asks in a teasing voice that does light up the mood, making Addison look up to her and laugh spontaneously.

"She indeed is your brother's daughter." Addison says, trying not to laugh at how cheesy but classy that sounds like. She loved how that sounds... _daughter._ It's not a simple baby, it's their_ daughter_.

"Don't listen to mom. She's stubborn, like us all, but she's another level of stubborn. She's worse than Derek." Amelia says, making Addison giggle at that.

"I know. I just feel overwhelmed about this... I want our kid to be like the other grandchildren. I don't want her to be less loved because I'm the mother." Addison explains her head. Amelia nods.

"I understand. I don't want her to be the less loved one either. I am the less loved sister... so, I know what you mean." Amelia says, giving Addison a comforting smile.

"You're not the less loved sister. I love you! And I know Derek does too." Addison grins the best she can. The redhead rests her head on the youngest Shepherd's shoulder.

"Thank you. I love you two a lot, well, three." Amy says. Minutes later Nancy joins them in the kitchen, but she's not gonna sit on the floor, she pulls a chair out of the kitchen table and sits on it, looking for at those two dorks.

"The Third World War already started? How's Nazi doing?" Amelia jokes. Nancy rolls her eyes but laughs at the joke anyway. Resting her elbow on the table, so her head can rest on her hand.

"Nazi is fine, but very emotional." Nancy explains, sighing in relief of finally being out of there.

"I'm not talking about Derek, I'm talking about mom." Amelia says, clarifying her joke.

"I was talking about Kathleen." Nancy says, laughing. Addison giggles at that.

"Oh, that explains a lot." Amelia nods, making a fun face.

"So... a girl, huh?" Nancy says, looking at Addison, who has been recovering from breaking down earlier. Addison was quiet, she nodded and dropped her hand on her stomach.

"Any ideas for names yet?" Amelia asks, looking at Addison. Nancy is all ears for this part.

"Not much yet, just some ideas. We have a lot of time to pick one." Addison says, grinning a little. She's feeling better.

"Maybe you'll know when you see her." Nancy says kindly. Amy looks at Nancy with a funny look.

"They always say that. Isn't it cheesy?" Amy asks out loud.

"Be thankful mom waited until she saw you, otherwise they should have called you Martha." Nancy points out.

"No way that was going to be my name." Amy shakes her head in disappointment.

"It was. Ask mom." Nancy says, still childish, annoying and competitive as always.

"I think I'll ask her later, when they aren't pointing at each other with imaginary guns." Any rolls her eyes.

"Good idea, I'll go with you later so I can say 'I told you' in your face." Nancy informs Amy, tilting her head.

"You really enjoy that part, don't you?" Addison chuckles.


	24. Chapter 24

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 24_**

**_/ I JUST REALIZED ALL THE ERRORS IN THE LAST CHAPTER. I apologize._**

"I'm done with her." Liz enters the kitchen, holding a bottle of wine on her hand.

"An another recruit dies." Amy points with her finger at her big sister. Nancy nods.

"What?" Liz asks, taking a long sip from the bottle of wine.

"You don't get it." Nancy says simply, making her sister lose interest on knowing what they were talking about.

"Maybe I should go out there and let my angry pregnant hormones talk by itselves." Addison says, starting to stand up.

"Or... you could stay here and let mom talk to Derek." Nancy says, holding Addison's arm to stop her. "Why the hell is Kate inside of there still?"

"She has survived thousands of bombs." Amelia keeps playing, standing up from the floor also.

"Amy, shut It." Liz says, annoyed by the joke she doesn't understand yet.

"Addie, I'm sorry my mother is so nuts." Liz says, now sitting on a chair. Amelia stares at Addison, who seems to be still kinda horrified at what Carolyn said earlier.

"Don't even apologize, I understand Carolyn. She never liked me. I poisoned Nancy..." Addison starts talking, being interrupted.

"That was awful." Nancy cuts in.

"Exactly... i am a rich bitch, who married her son, took the name also, and now carries a Shepherd." Addison keeps talking.

"That doesnt give her a reason to make you feel crappy." Kate says entering the kitchen.

"One survivor left." Amelia says. Addison chuckles at that.

"Hope he's gonna make it." Nancy laughs.

"Sorry Adds, i tried my best out there." Kate says. She obviously started calling Addison '_Adds'_ because Derek got obsessed with the nickname years ago.

"Don't apologize, really." Addison says. "Okay I'm going to talk to Carolyn myself." Addison says, she's horrified of what could happen out there.

Addison leaves the kitchen and takes a deep breath.

"You know I love you, sweetheart, but she's..." Carolyn shuts up as soon as she sees Addison crossing her arms on the entrance of the living room.

"I am...?" Addison asks, waiting for Carolyn to end the sentence.

"Addison..." Derek starts talking, he's capable of taking her out of there to not make her listen to anything he has to say, because it's cruel stuff and she knows he cares too much to make her feel uncomfortable or unpleasant on any situation.

"It's okay." She tells Derek, she approaches them, "Could you please finish what you were saying?" Addison asks Carolyn once again.

"You aren't what's best for him." Carolyn finishes the sentence. "You must be an obstetrician, but that doesn't mean you would be a good mother to my grandchild."

"Did you know you were going to be a perfect mother when you first got pregnant?" Addison asks.

"I wouldn't say perfect..."

"Did you?" Addison insists.

"No, as I said..." Carolyn wanted to keep talking, but Addison cuttted her off.

"Good. Because when I thought about being a mother I didn't know what I was going to do. I still don't know. I just know I'll have to figure it all out, and love my child. We are a mess, Derek and I, but we survive it. We don't quit. I am not looking for perfection, I am looking for love. You might think I'm an adoulterous bitch that cheated on your son. I _was_ that. That's not me anymore. I am a person. I commit mistakes. I don't want our girl to have to deal with your resentments against me, our daughter is not me. She's another individual looking to find her own love. Derek and I aren't perfection. We never were... otherwise the word _cheating _wouldn't even be part of our vocabulary. Sadly it is. And now we are fixing that, with love. So, here's my proposal... do you wanna accept our love, or do you wanna keep looking for the perfection of this family?" Addison says.

Derek could kiss that woman in the lips right now after that beautiful speech. She took Derek's hand and gave it a squeeze. She look at Carolyn waiting for a response.

"Fine. I accept." Carolyn says.

"Say it." Derek orders.

"What?" Carolyn asks.

"That you accept the love." Addison says softly.

"I accept the love." She rolls her eyes at the end of the sentence.

"Good." Addison smiled. She was happy she opened her mother in law eyes, letting her understand what is Addison's goal as a parent.

Later that night, after celebrating the New Years, hugging each other, having a wonderful time. Carolyn was accepting Addison now; Derek was thankful and grateful. As soon as they got to their Hamptons house, Addison went upstairs to get ready to sleep, while Derek went into the kitchen thirsty of some water.

The sound of the electronic piano fills the house, Derek is confused for a minute, but figures out who might be. He gets out of the kitchen, walking to the living room, spotting his redhead wife on the piano. She's playing one of her favorites... Erik Satie, Gymnopédies: No1. She's murmuring the rhythm, Derek loves when she murmurs the rhythm. He stands in there, glass of water in hand, eyes on her red hair.

"Are you spying on me?" Addison says, she keeps playing the piano, knowing he's staring. "You're staring."

"I am." He says softly, approaching his wife, it feels like home once again. It feels like the young them. He sits next to her and wraps an arm around her, his touch makes her stop playing. Too powerful like concentrating.

"You were always a guitar guy." She giggles, moving her head on the direction of his look, they look at each other on the eye and grin.

"And you a piano girl." He says, showing a charming smile, moving his hand to her cheek, where it rests while stroking it. "Why don't you play something else? Maybe something you can sing."

"You just want to hear my awful voice, don't you?" Addison says, resting a hand on his chest.

"It's beautiful. And yes I do." He nods. She hits her lip, lost on the shine of his eyes. There's barely light on the living room, which creates a warm and romantic ambient.

"Okay, maybe i can remember something." She smiles and kisses him softly.

* * *

**April 17th, 30 weeks pregnant.**

"Good morning." Derek woke Addison up, she moved herself, facing him. She was tired as hell and wasn't in the mood for working, she wasn't in the mood for eating, breathing or whatever, she was in the mood for sleeping.

"You know I slept two hours last night because our daughter kicked me the whole night?" She says, placing a hand on her stomach. Pregnant Addison could be annoying, tiring, emotional and charming at the same time.

"I know, I'm sorry for that, but we gotta start getting ready for work." Derek says to her, pecking her lips, thinking it might make her feel better.

"i'm so tired." She declares.

"Me too. You woke me up several times." Derek teases Addison, she rolls her eyes.

"Did I kick you?" She asks.

"You did" Derek nods.

"So did she..." she points at her own stomach, trying to stand up from the bed by herself.

"Want any help?" He asks getting out of bed, willing to find Addison ready to stand up with his help.

"I'm still mad at you." Addison says, looking into his blue eyes. Derek helps her stand up.

"Sorry for that." Derek apologizes once again. Addison was lately obsessed with blue berries and Derek ate the last ones.

Derek goes to the kitchen, making a mental note on buying more blueberries for Addison. He prepares breakfast, an oatmeal for Addison and a French toast for himself. Addison gets inside of the bathroom, she was obviously the first using the shower. As soon as she turns the hot water on she reminds herself her vitamins. Those damn prenatal vitamins.

"Do you remember where I left my prenatal vitamins?" Addison yells, looking between her drawers on the bathroom.

"Kitchen." Derek yells at her from the kitchen. She sighs and walks to the kitchen, Derek is holding the pill container on his left hand while with the right hand he's pouring orange juice on a glass.

Addison takes the pills from Derek's hand. "Thank you, honey." She says all sweetheart, leaving the kitchen with a hand on her lower back.

She was obviously suffering from pain in there, which is why Richard offered her many times to start her maternity leave earlier. But, was Addison willing to quit neonatal just because of becoming a woman? Of course not. Not until that baby could turn her whole world. Not until she was there with them. Addison wasn't going to waste her free time on anything else but neonatal right now. She wanted to have her maternity leave and don't miss neonatal that much. She wanted to make things right. Work until the last day of her pregnancy, even if Richard and Derek were very against it.

Addison walks back into her room and picks an outfit. Another maternity dress that wasn't that bad or horrible... or too much... exhibition? She picks some classic black heels that will totally go with the white dress she's wearing today.

She's not sure how but she has survived on her heels while having a baby of the size of a little watermelon inside of her, it's too much weight and pressure on her feet that she wonders herself how she does it.

She gets inside of the bathroom and has her quick shower. She gets out of the bathroom and Derek enters inside of it immediately. She spots her breakfast on her night stand and smiles at how caring he's been. This little acts tell her that he cares. He loves her. Their relationship feels like when it first started, messy, crazy, romantic and cheesy.

She eats on her robe. After eating breakfast, Derek comes out of the bathroom, both Shepherds on robes.

"How did you sleep?" Derek asks, picking his outfit from the closet. Addison rests on the door of the closet, looking how Derek searches for a good outfit.

"It was very pleasant... before she started kicking again." She chuckles. Her daughter was a reckless Forbes already.

"Don't blame it on her! She can hear you." Derek says, looking back to Addison.

"Momma loves you." Addison says, looking down to her belly. Talking to their unborn daughter. "She loves me too, she just kicked."

"Does she love me?" Derek asks, turning around to face Addison, who's caressing her stomach.

"Geez, I'm jealous. She kicked harder this time." Addison says, still looking down to her stomach, fascinated that in some months she was going to become officially a mother. "She'll be daddy'a girl. That's for sure."

"She'll love you. I'll kick all his boyfriends out of the house. I'll be the bad guy." Derek jokes, approaching Addison.

"I am designated to be the bad guy, Derek. She's gonna be daddy's girl, and she'll be momma's girl when you get moody." Addison explains their future rolls as parents.

"Why is that?" He chuckles, wrapping his arms around her, looking into her blue eyes closer. She rests her hands on her stomach still, grinning.

"I always imagined us having a baby and it would be the way I'm telling you." Addison explains. She smiles a little bit bigger. Derek starting to feel his heart warm.

"Oh, you had a plan on your mind?" He asks. She loves how caring he is. That was all she wanted. She wanted him to care; When She came to Seattle she was looking for a second opportunity, maybe they weren't in love anymore, but she wanted him to care at least. Just, to _care_. Now all he did was caring.

"I did." She nods, moving her hands to the upper section of his arms.

"What If it was a boy?" He tilts his head a little.

"Then the fantasy would be changed to the other fantasy I also created." She giggles at the thought of a mini Derek playing around the house, accompaning the couple to ferry boats.

"You should write a book." He jokes, caressing her back slightly.

"Everyone says that to me lately!" She nods with a laugh.

"For real?" He asks, smiling.

"No, I just wanted to sound interesting." She laughs and looks away, but her eyes meet his again.

"I love you." He says. She loves how those words sound.

"Me too." Addison says. She leans in for a soft kiss, she gets it, meeting her lips with his, something sweet and calm. Until she reminds herself what she was going to do inside of that closet besides stalking her husband. She stops the kiss. "We gotta get dressed!"

* * *

"Yeah I've seen that case already, I think it's too much." Derek tells Richard. "I mean, I can obviously try my best, but it's a lots case and you know it." He repeats his point.

"I know, I get it. But i need you to try your best." Richard insists.

"Richard, I'm going to court in a week. I can't risk this to be another argument to make me sink inside of there. You know how risky this is for my career and reputation. Get another surgeon. I'm not doing this." The brain surgeon explains spontaneously. He knows what he wants. Derek has to admit he expected Richard to yell at him, he was so ready to hear the chief yell bullshit at him... things like it was his work and obligation and those kind of things.

"Okay." The chief nodded.

Savannah and Weiss were coming in a couple of days only, which made Addison excited and cheerful lately. Their friends didn't know about Addison's pregnancy yet, so they were going to have to enjoy another pregnancy announcement that actually will not be required since Addison was totally noticeable.

Richard keeps nodding to himself and leaves Derek alone in there. A hand touches his shoulder, he dreams it's Mark asking him to go get drunk at Joe's after work, so Derek could hear everything about the girl he slept with the night before. "Doctor Grey..." the blonde intern was back.

"Hey... it's been a while and I need to tell you something. Well, I need to apologize about something." Meredith says sincerely. Derek as an attending should just send the intern to go and work. Which got him a little concerned, considering Meredith was on Addison's services.

"Yeah... sure. Hey, is Addison okay? Why aren't you working?" Derek asks right away. Meredith opens her mouth, trying to say something but it doesn't come out. That freaks Derek a little.

"I don't know. She was just, helping a patient and then realized something was wrong with the placenta and she had to-'' Meredith starts explaining.

"She's performing surgery?" Derek asks, making the story easier to tell by just asking.

"She is." Meredith says. Derek grins uncomfortably and waits for the intern to make a move or something. She was the one who wanted to talk.

"A long time ago, Addison and I had a... little misunderstanding?" She doesn't even know what she's saying.

"Okay?"

"The point is that I said pretty much hurtful things to her and all she's been is good to me. I said some horrible things that I assumed you did or thought about me, and I was worried maybe she took it seriously. So, if anything changed in your relationship because of me... I'm sorry." Meredith says sincerely. Derek doesn't know what to say. Most importantly, why is she still looking involuntary ways to get on her marriage? Maybe they aren't involuntary though.

"Thanks, doctor Grey." He nods and smiles at the intern. "You should go back to neonatal and obstetrics before she notices you're gone." He advices, knowing his wife was smart and fast, she was the fastest, even with thirty weeks pregnant.

* * *

"There you are, Grey." Addison says, her surgery and the extra weight she was carrying made the redhead exhausted. Meredith was on the floor of the corridor, sitting.

"Sorry." The intern says.

Addison had spend a lot of time with Meredith, she was still the dirty mistress for the neonatal surgeon, and that was probably never going to change, but she felt pity for the young woman. She didn't have anyone, just as Addison when she first came to Seattle.

"What's going on?" Addison asks, looking down to the intern. Maybe this wasn't her best decision, but she manages to rest her back against the wall and slowly sit on the floor next to Meredith. The intern sighs. Addison inhales heavily.

"Just... life." Meredith says.

"So, its bad." Addison guesses. Meredith nods. The attending couldn't care less, but she felt like being kind to her, after all, everyone was human, and everyone could hurt even after committing horrible mistakes that could break other people hearts.

"You don't really care. Um, i think you have a surgery with Webber." Meredith says.

"Webber can wait." Addison is not begging or asking specially for hearing the whole story, she's just... being caring.

"My father is here... with my sister. A sister i didn't know I had. It's just... difficult." Meredith explains her situation. Addison nods in understanding, placing a hand on the intern's shoulder.

"I understand." Addison nods, not making eye contact with the blonde woman. "I've had to deal with family drama for a long time. I still do. You know about that..." Addison says, rubbing her belly as habit.

"Yeah. It's crap." Meredith says. Addison nods sadly again, she really wants to stand up but she can't.

"Do you mind...?" Addison says pointing at her belly and doing a gesture with the head. The intern understood immediately and stood up from the floor as soon as she could.

Derek walks through the corridor, on the search of his wife. He also needed a consult. He spots the redhead being helped by doctor Grey. He smiles. He finds Addison even a better wife. A better person.

Meredith says something to Addison and walks away, Addison looks down to her stomach and takes a deep breath, caressing her belly. She turns around, seeing Derek standing in there. She jumped a little of scarement.

"Hey" Derek says softly. She smirks.

"Hey" She tilts her head, looking at him with those cute eyes, like she's nervous of seeing her crush... but it's maybe just her habit of being flirty.

"What's up?" Derek asks. "You look worried."

"Nah, I'm just tired." She says sincerely, running a hand through her head so she can take her cap off of her head.

"Rough surgery?" Derek asks, noticing Addison's heavy tiredness.

"Actually, a very easy procedure!" She says cheerful, holding a laugh.

"You're such a kickass surgeon." He says, approaching to her even closer, caressing her arm, comforting her, knowing she was barely on her feet and she was too proud to accept how exhausted she was.

"So are you." She says nicely.

"I saw you with Meredith. What were you talking about?" Derek asks curious. Maybe that was out of line?

"She's going through some hard times, that's all." Addison says, with a serious smirk.

"You were being kind." He loves her soft part.

"What are you saying? I'm always kind. I'm America's greatests sweetheart." She jokes, Adding a laugh.

"Of course you are." He says, pecking her lips.

"I'm sorry, do you need a consult? Richard needs me now, risky pregnancy and an appendectomy that's needy of her as soon as possible. So, I can say I'm in a hurry."

"Maybe you can help with a patient later, after your surgery. Hurry up before you get fired by the chief."

"He'll never fire me, I'm the best." Addison says, pecking his lips and making her way far away from him, he smiled at the fact he's found even more emphaty on his wife. Kindness. Positivity.

He's free, he already checked all his patients and got his paperwork ready, all he wanted was to be chill, relax. He thought maybe going to talk to Mark for a while could be cool, even entertaining, but as his role of a whore, he was probably screwing some new nurse of doctor in an on-call room, bathroom or suply closet. Burke wasn't an option either, since he could be very boring or too serious to talk to, depending on his mood.

Derek walks of the gallery, looking forward seeing Addison and Richard perform surgery inside of the OR. He's seen so many times Addison perform surgery, the way she takes the scalpel so naturally... he loved that. He _loves_ that.

As far as he knew, he was alone in there, until he spotted Meredith watching the surgery, just next to the sit he picked, not exactly next to him, but some seats away from her. He now spots Addison monitoring the baby, Richard cutting in. He grins. Seems like Richard said something funny that made Addison laugh. Everything seemed alright.

Meredith takes a deep breath. "Does she have a name already?" She asks, looking at Derek. Derek smirks, knowing she's talking about their baby. Addison's and Derek's daughter. _Daughter._

"Not yet. There's too much ideas." He smiles brightly, adding a giggle, reminding the way Addison felt and acted way too overwhelmed because she could not choose a proper name.

"I assume you are very excited." Meredith says softly, maybe her crush for Derek Shepherd wasn't going to last forever, maybe it was just... the way that man was. It was definitely the _too much mcdreaminess._

"We are quite terrified, actually." He laughs. Meredith gives Derek a satisfaced smile.

"I would never have children. Too much stress, too much responsibilities..." The blonde woman expresses her thoughts, personal and deep thoughts that Derek didn't feel like listening right now.

"I've always want kids, it just... the perfect time never came around. That's why we decided to just try, we don't have anything to lose. You live your life once, right?" Derek says. He's glad things have been working with Addison.

There's no silly fights, that there's love in every thing that they do. He would like to be friendly, to not feel uncomfortable with Meredith around him at the hospital, he really does... but, how could he forget that the intern he was screwing was near him all the time, soon to be near his newborn.

There is _Addison and Derek. _That's the real deal.

"She'll be fine. The seizure aren't affecting the fetus yet, which means that if you operate and everything goes alright, she might keep going with the pregnancy." Addison explains once again after the consult Derek asked her for. He grins and nods his head, both standing outside of the patient's room, she keeps checking the woman's chart in case she missed something.

"I see. Thank you, Addison. You really were a great help." He says all sweet, making Addison look up to Derek, maybe suspicious.

"What's going on?" She asks.

"Nothing."

"Doesn't seem like nothing. You're hiding something. Aren't you?" She giggles a little, crossing her arms over her chest, still holding the chart.

"I am not. I just... I want to talk with you. To you. Tonight, maybe? We could go out and find a new restaurant. We barely know good restaurants." He points out. She smiles, feeling childish.

"I like your thoughts. We should totally do that. I'll go change, do you need me to wait for you? Are you leaving now?" Addison asks, kind of lost. Their schedules went crazy lately.

Italian food. One of Addison's favorites, for sure. She was a fan of Italian food. Lately she was a fan of every type of food. Even disgusting combinations sounded amazing. Oreo cookies with orange juice weren't that awful after all.

She wears a blue dress and a silk necklace that has her's and Derek's anniversary date. Is one of her favorite jewelry pieces besides her wedding ring and engagement ring. White heels complete the outfit perfectly. Derek wears a nice suit, it's a classy place, a place they have never been in.

"Derek, I'm impatient." She says nicely and sincerely as soon as they take place on a table with view to the sea.

"About eating?" He holds a laugh.

"No, silly! About knowing what you want or need or whatever... talk to me about." Addison asks impatient, insisting.

"Oh, that. It's just... cheesy stuff. You'll call me sentimental and weak mess." He says, making her smile at his cuteness. Literally, obligating her.

Short chapter... took some suggestions from one of the followers of the story. 3

If you follow the story, the app will send you an email whenever I post a new chapter!!

Review? It would mean the world.

Love y'all!


	25. Chapter 25

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 25_**

"She doesn't have a name yet!" Addison says, happy to be talking about her daughter to her friend, Savvy.

It was late, a Saturday night and they were both on the balcony in front of Addison's living room, meanwhile Weiss and Derek were inside, drinking beers and having a good time watching the Yankees on tv.

"Wait, a _she_?! It's a girl!" Savvy says happy, touching Addison's baby bump. Addison nodded and smiled brightly. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you. We're happy too." Addison says, her cheeks a little red, she's so in love with her tiny family.

"They seem to be enjoying themselves." Savvy laughs, looking at Weiss and Derek concentrated on the game. Addison laughs.

"Yeah, like the old times." She smiles. "I'm happy everything turned out perfectly today." Addison says, taking a sip of her lemonade.

"Me too. The case was obviously going to be won by Derek, there was way too many proves against the Lodge's that made their case weak and useless." Savvanah says, knowing every detail. "Derek is safe. He tried his best on saving a young girl."

"Thank you, for coming. I needed you guys today, I needed Derek to success into this whole thing. I was so nervous they could destroy him out there." Addison says, rubbing her belly with a hand and with the other one reaching for Savvy's hand.

"Our pleasure. You really don't have to thank me or Weiss, these are things that friends do, help each other and support each other even when we are each other's pain in the ass." Savvy explains her mind, making Addison crack a bright smile, making her feel even much more loved.

"Savvy, i missed you. I missed this... laughing with you, hearing to your interesting cases, just... being with you." Addison says.

"I missed you too. We are so distant... it's even painful." She says, smiling softly at her best friend.

"True." Addison agrees, she misses New York, But she knows Seattle is the perfect place for her to stay, far away from the awful memories. It was rainy, but a perfect place to raise their daughter, Seattle was their _clean slate_.

"Do you ever think of coming back?" Savvy asks, sipping her homemade martini, a classic drink she liked to share with Addison back when she wasn't pregnant.

"Yes. But I'm not coming back." She says, honestly. Seattle was her home, she already warmed up to this cold place anyways. "I'm happy in here, we are happy in here. I'm sure she'll be happy in here too."

Couple nights ago...

"I've been thinking about our trip to Mexico." Derek confesses. She looks up to him, her extra hand playing with her necklace.

"Yeah? Why is that?" Addison asks.

"About what you said... _clean slate_. I'm happy that's happening." Derek grins.

"Me too." She says, sweetly.

"I'm happy we've found another chance to this... to us. I screwed it up once, and I want you to know, I am here. I'll always be here. I'll snap at you, hate you, yell at you, but my heart will always love you. Don't hesitate that. Don't even doubt it. You are the love of my life, Ads. We can screw it up, several times, lie to ourselves, but I'm sure there's always a way for us to be _Addison and Derek _once again." Derek says, all sentimental and cheesy. Addison loves cheesy Derek, it's not only cheesy and sweet, it's romantic, it's caring, it's loving.

"Oh, Derek... I.. I'm speechless. I love you, too. I'm here for you too. I can be distant and bitchy, maybe annoying, but I am and will always be in love with you. The way you make me feel happier, safe, better. Our daughter is lucky, she'll totally be daddy's girl. At least I want her too." Addison expresses herself.

"I low key want that too." He smirks, making her bit her lip, she loves those eyes looking at her.

"I knew you did." She says.

_Back to reality... _

"I wanted Derek, I want Derek. I am a selfish person and you know that, but... i suddenly feel compassionate. I feel free, this is not the old _Addison and Derek _this is the new version of us." Addison says, smiling, rubbing the spot where her daughter kicks slightly.

"Addie, I'm happy for you. I really am. You should never come back to New York, stay here. Build your own empire with that jerk that you call husband." Savvy laughs a little, maybe too much alcohol for her.

"He's a cute jerk, he's my kind of jerk." Addison laughs, following her joke.

"No, seriously. You are happier and I can tell. Keep it up! Don't waste the potential you guys have." Savvy says wisely, making Addison realize that she really has found happiness. The real one. "In case you two don't find any good names for your baby girl, feel free to copy mine." Both women laugh.

"She's gonna love her aunt Savvanah." Addison says, grinning, taking another sip of her lemonade.

"I really hope she will inherit your red hair and Derek's eyes." Savvy says, Addison reaches for her best friend's hand. She's with her friend now. Enjoying a warm night in Seattle.

"If she does, she'll be kinda blonde at least and then she'll turn into a little carrot." Addison laughs. Savvy laughs too.

"But a very cute carrot."

"Of course." Addie says, proud. She can't wait to be a mom, she's coming soon, she can't wait to finally meet that tiny human being who's been inside of her this whole time.

"Maybe you can call her Carrot." Savvy laughs.

"Of course, and I'll change Tarek's name for Tomato." Both giggled at such stupid and unfunny joke.

"I assume you have ideas of names at least." Savvy sips her martini once again.

"Of course we do. We like Rachel, and Sarah, and lots of others. I have a huge list, you can't imagine." Addison says, serious.

"Sarah Montgomery Shepherd... sounds classy." Savvy says.

"I like that one, but Rachel Montgomery Shepherd all so sounds good." Addison points out, making Savvy realize how hard it is to find a perfect name to their kid.

After a couple hours, Savvy and Addison find themselves in the opposite side of the couch where their husbands were enjoying the game. The doorbell rings, no male human being reacts, so, Savvy decides to go open the door herself, not wanting Addison to do such thing, now that she's carrying extra weight.

The blonde woman opens the door, spotting Mark Sloan. "Came to bother my Shepherds, seems someone did that before I did." He laughs, that was his way of greeting, apparently.

"Mark! Good to see you." Savvy says, kissing his cheek, closing the door behind her. Addison rolls her eyes, but gives him a sympatic grin anyways.

"You too. I see the guys are pretty much concentrated." Mark says, nicely.

"Hey" Derek says, still watching the game.

"What's up?" Weiss asks, taking a sip of his beer.

Addison wishes she could be as fast as she has always been, so she could go and do something to Derek so he could _'wake up'_.

"How's baby Shepherd doing?" Mark asks. Sometimes she felt like Mark really did fall for her, and still wishes she would have kept the baby, which would have ended badly.

"She's alright." Addison says, happy to see him, happy in the way it was fun to have a friend home.

"Good to know. Hey, guys, who's playing?" Mark asks, distracting himself from any other kind that conversation besides joining the men.

Savvy and Addison laugh at how stupid that was.

* * *

"She seems alright." Kelly tells Addison, adding a light smile, so the mother can feel much more comfortable, she's lying on that exam bed, smiling at the monitor. Savvy is holding her hand, amazed at what she's seeing.

"This is nuts. You are becoming a mother! It's so real... it's so... wow." Savvy says, looking down at her friend, both smile at each other.

"It kinda is nuts." Addison chuckles a little, both keep their eyes on the baby after a silent while.

"I assume you two know each other since a long time, right?" Kelly asks, still checking the baby on the monitor, in case she missed something.

"Indeed. New York partners since years ago!" Savvy answers first. Addison nods and comes back on watching her baby move on camera.

"I've been there for her when she's drunk enough to not being able to walk, that's what she refers to with _New York partners_." Addison says kidding, not taking her eyes out of the image of her daughter. Savvy hit Addison's arm playfully, annoyed by her stupid joke. "Ouch!" Addison says dramatically.

"I see." Kelly laughs at Addison's description. "I've had many friends like that, except that I am the one not being able to walk." She shares.

"Same." Savvy says without wanting to.

"Told ya." Addison says. Kelly prints some pictures of the ultrasound, knowing she would like those.

Savvy asked many times to come with Addison to her appointment, since Weiss wanted to stay at the hotel pool, which was boring according to her, and Addison didn't have company for this.

"What about Emily?" Savvy asks by the nowhere.

"For her?" Addison asks, wiping the gel away with a towel.

"Emily Montgomery Shepherd. Wait, are you gonna let her use both last names or just Shepherd?" Savvy asks. Maybe it was too much to process for Addison's head.

"I don't know. I think both, we haven't decided yet." Addison replies honestly. "I like the name though." She smiles, her dreams are making come true.

Addison has to even think about it, the necessity of doing that makes her feel superior, special, miraculous. She couldn't have pictured herself this way in the past. Her body and soul felt relieved of how things were, relieved of finally being free of the painful sins both committed to hurt each other. To reach for attention, to seek for it.

After her appointment, as Addison's day off, she decides that a good spent day with Savvy could be a great idea. Grabbing lunch, having a short walk, exploring what the mall had to offer, and then coming back to Savvana's hotel room to bother Weiss and to order room service.

Savvy was driving Addison's red car, a classic. Maybe Addison wanted to stay with it because it was her _classic_. It had the Addison air, a vibe. A teenager her living inside of her own body. That was her car. The childish and reckless part forever hidden of Addison Forbes Montgomery.

They were going to explore the mall first, it was something New York Addison would totally do, and she felt like roleplaying a little, thinking of her young years. She already felt old? For real?

"You seem distracted." Savvy says, cutting her from her thoughts, obligating the redhead to look at her blonde best friend.

"Yeah... sorry. I'm just tired, that's all." Addisons gives an excuse.

"I'm sorry. How could you not tell me you weren't alright? Just let me know. I feel bad I dragged you into shopping." Savvy says, posing a hand on Addison's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"You didn't drag me into anything, it's fine." Addison chuckles a little at the way Savvy felt so bad for something so silly and not important.

/**_ okay i don't have any more inspiration to keep writing this chapter, so, I'll leave it here. I'm soooo sorry, I know it's boring and short._**


	26. Chapter 26

**_"What love made us do"_**

_**Chapter 26**_

The morning was beautiful that day, June 1st.

"Too much pink?" Addison asks, both stepping on the door of their daughter's nursery. Was it okay to add way too much pink?

"It's not that much pink. I mean, I guess it's fine." Derek says.

Addison was a perfectionist when it came to decoration, or fashion. Or surgery, for sure. She decided to buy a white crib, paint the walls a light gray tone, add white bedding except from the pillows that were all light pink. Her closet had some outfits that Liz sent from New York, some dresses and shoes that Derek's nieces wore. For sure, Addison bought clothes for her daughter herself, with some of Derek's help, knowing he wanted to participate even if he wasn't the best when it came to fashion.

They could never have pictured themselves in there, standing next to each other, glancing at their daughter's nursery.

"It's perfect." Derek adds, wrapping an arm around Addison. She smiles and rested against his body.

This felt right. Standing there. As a family.

"You're perfect." Addison whispers. Derek looks down at her. She immediately looks up and kisses him, passionately. She laughs against his lips. "I love you." She says sweetly, running a hand through his black hair, while his hands were around her waist, one of them caressing a side of her stomach.

She could imagine her child on her arms, playing with her necklace, non stop being momma's girl. That's what Addison imaginated, and couldn't stop thinking of her climbing into their bed every morning.

It was all so... _perfect._

* * *

"You aren't going anywhere, Shepherd." Bailey calls out. Addison rolls her eyes and turns away, with a hand on her back, supporting the weight she was carrying.

"Miranda, it's a simple procedure. I can do it." Addison says, looking at Miranda Bailey in the eye. She just wanted to operate.

"You've had Braxton Hicks the whole morning and you also did last night, there's no way you are stepping inside of that OR." Miranda says, obviously making sense and real, not like Addison, who said that was fine, but was closer and closer to her due date.

"We both know I'm your boss..." Addison says, now making sense herself.

"I'll call your husband otherwise." Bailey crosses her arms over her chest, looking up to the pregnant redhead, who was really exhausted and really didn't know herself If she wanted to perform surgery.

"Fine. You win." Addison rolls her eyes, with a hand taking her cap away, walking through the corridor.

Miranda watches her walk away.

The past weeks had been pretty good. Addison and Naomi had contacted each other once again, something that practically made Derek a little bit pessimist about Naomi visiting them soon, since he had to deal with Addison laughing on the phone for hours, or taking messages from Naomi, or being bothered at the middle of the night by _"someone's"_ call.

Addison walks tall, she wasn't going to show herself weak even if right now she wasn't that strong. She had to admit she was a bit scared... well, too scared about the whole Braxton Hicks. The first one happened while she was on the living room couch, snuggling with Derek. Derek took her to the hospital even if the contractions had stopped, but it was something that left Addison alert, and kinda scared to death. The day was coming, meeting their beautiful child was a plan that was going to be accomplished pretty soon. She was going to be called mom. He was going to be called dad.

It was already June 1st, which meant Derek was wrong when it came to the due date. Addison knew he was wrong, and she had to bother him and brag about how clever she was and how she was always so right.

"Hi Laura" Addison says, stepping into a patient's room. Laura was a twenty four woman, expecting twins. She obviously had complications with her pregnancy, but somehow she was always so calm, and funny and happy.

"Hey!" She smiles at the redhead, who enters the room properly and takes a sit on a chair.

"How have you been feeling?" Addison asks, as a typical question that her patients had to be asked.

"I'm alright! They checked me like ten minutes ago. These two are fine!" She days excited, rubbing her stomach. "How about you? Looks like you've had_ a day_." The young woman asks. Addison smirks a little, she likes having company, and maybe her company was pleasant also. Wasn't it?

"Just tired. She kicks a lot." Addison chuckles a little. "I was going to operate now, but they literally kicked me out, so, i thought maybe you would want some company." She says, sighing. Operating was her world and they had to take that away from her, but she couldn't really complain when it came to her health and her baby's well being.

"What About your husband? Where is he? He could bring you some good quality company." Laura says, smiling at Addison. It was three o'clock and Seattle was warm and shiny. Who doesn't love summer?

She smirks a little and chuckles,"He has a craniotomy right now, meanwhile my schedule is totally in blank. They erased my name from everything." Addison says, feeling _her_ kick once again.

"Why is that?" Laura asks, she's curious, she doesn't have that much to do during the day.

"Several episodes of Braxton Hicks. Well, not several like, several. I had some last night and this morning, but nothing to worry about I guess." Addison smiles. She still recalls herself the winner of their bet, it wasn't going to be June 1st.

"Oh... how many weeks are you?" Laura asks, moving herself on the bed to get much more comfortable.

"Thirty nine." Addison says, even convinced herself, way too many time without any coffee? What the heck.

"Oh, so you're counting since your last period?" Laura asks.

"Exactly, you've learned a lot here!" Addison chuckles a little, she's in a good mood. "The conception date is... kinda blurry." She says.

"I've been here two weeks and I already know how to diagnose fluid in the lungs." Laura says, all professional.

"You do?" Addison chuckles, kinda confused how she learned that if she was in the neonatal wing, not the cardiology one.

"Not at all, really." Laura confesses, making Addison laugh. "But i would like to."

"How are you naming them? I've never asked you that before." Addison asks. Laura smiles.

"Lucas wanted one of them to be called William and I like the name Gregory for the other one. I'm gonna be the only girl in a big house." Laura says, she sounds so excited and young.

"I love those names." Addison smiles. "Before this one I was going to have another baby, you know? Her name was going to be Ella. Ella Montgomery." Addison looks down to her stomach, feeling sorrow.

"Ella... that's a beautiful name." Laura says, she keeps rubbing her stomach, which is cute, which makes Addison feel safe, like she's not the only one terrified.

"It is. Her first birthday would have been this year." Addison says. She looks away, she spots her married ring and stares for a minute. What if she never aborted? The idea is on her head once again.

"What happened to her? If I can ask, obviously." Laura says, moving some hair away her face. She had damn perfect brown hair, not long, short actually.

"It's a long story, very long one." Addison says, leaving a sigh of nervousness, reminding her past wasn't something as pleasant as she could recall.

"I see." Laura nods. She understands.

"Sometimes people run away, you know? I did the same. I don't know if it was the right thing, I'm still confused if Ella was a mistake or... something I was looking for. Maybe she was something that helped me to open my eyes and realize how much I really did wanted a baby." Addison reflects out loud.

"You are wise. Hope I'll get wise." Laura smiles and laughs a little.

"We all end up wise our own way." Addison says, rubbing the spot where her kid was kicking.

She sometimes feels empty when it comes remembering those dark moments. It was a mistake. It was. A mistake. Just... a mistake. Wait, was it a mistake? No, it wasn't. It was another lesson Addison had to learn from. It was a challenge, something that gave her another opportunity to see life in a different way.

After a while, Addison leaves Laura's room. Derek must be leaving surgery at this exact time. Adele Webber walks by and stops Addison. The redhead really wishes she could save herself from this one.

"Addison! Hey!" Adele says, kinda cheered up. "Have you seen Richard?" She was obviously looking for her husband. Addison was sometimes scared of ending up like that, walking around the hospital asking for Derek.

"Hey... No, I haven't. At least not yet. He must be in his office." Addison says, a hand on her back and the other one on her belly, a regular position almost.

"I already went there. Do you know if he's in some surgery?" Adele asks. She's insisting. She's not going to surrender.

"I'm sorry, I wish I knew, but I sadly don't know where to find him." Addison says, with the hand that was on her back, she brushes some hair away from her face.

"Okay. Thank you anyways." Adele smiles, "Look at you!" She looks down to the redhead's stomach.

"Ha, yes." Addison says, kinda tired of standing too much time on her feet.

"Your baby is huge! I'm so happy for you and Derek." Adele says. She's a nice woman, but doesn't have nice timing when it comes to bother other human beings.

"Thank you, Adele." Addison tilts her head, giving Adele a grin, positive one. "I gotta go, see you soon." Addison gives her goodbyes.

Adele keeps walking away.

Now she's finally making her way to the neurological wing.

She immediately finds the door where her husband might have to leave the OR, Derek and her almost chase into each other, because she doesn't see the door open that fast and her husband turn around.

"God, you scared me!" Derek says, shaking a little from the impact of the reaction he had. He chuckles after freezing.

"You too." She laughs.

"Hi" he says, pecking her lips, grabbing her hand.

"Hey." She smiles.

"How are you two doing?" Derek asks, looking down at her stomach.

"We are okay. No more Braxton Hicks, i swear." Addison says, telling the truth, for sure. Derek holds her hand on his, so he can kiss the back of her hand.

"I'm glad to hear that." He says.

"You lost the bet, you know that, don't you?" Addison smiles, happy she won.

"I realized this morning." Derek nods. He loves how much entusiasm Addison had for this silly thing, which really wasn't silly, because they were talking about the miracle of their lives. Their baby girl.

"She's surprisingly charming today, by the way." Addison informs Derek. He is already a proud father. He stares at her blue greenish eyes for a while.

"Good to know, but she'll get bitchy in the middle of the night." Derek comments, with a sweet laugh, he knows for sure that their baby used to kick Addison in the middle of the night, making her wake up and stress out when she couldn't catch enough sleep. Another reason not to let her inside of an OR.

"Don't you dare laugh at that, I'll get bitchy too if she does that." Addison points out. Derek rolls his eyes playfully, smiling charming to his wife.

"She likes kicking." Derek says, tilting his head, in a way Addison finds so cute.

"I hope she'll be calm when she gets out of here." Addison sighs.

"She has our genes... I doubt so." Derek laughs; Now both walking through the corridor.

"We haven't called her yet." Addison says. She knows and has the feeling she could decide to leave her uterus tonight or this week soon, she knows she's coming. Braxton Hicks don't happen to every women, and when it came to her pregnancy, a risky one because of the age; Addison knew their child was almost ready to pop out.

"We haven't... maybe a middle name would be a good choice?" Derek asks, both keep walking, he glances at her.

"Maybe. I don't know. Better to use less names, otherwise is too much or it gets confusing." Addison says.

"I like Sarah a lot, Sarah Montgomery Shepherd." Derek states. Addison smiles to herself.

"Sarah is a great name." Addison agrees, her voice softly, he eyes looking at Derek. She looks tired. Izzie and Meredith look at Derek and Addison from across the corridor.

Addison doesn't know if it was the right thing to do to act as kind as possible and let Grey's mistakes go away just as _mistakes_, something that people learns from. Maybe the revenge was gone. The anger faded away with the time. Right?

After the attending accepted the intern apologize, Grey still looks at Derek in love. That doesn't fade away that easily, and Addison knew it still, even if she didn't really pay attention to Grey's looks at her husband.

"But?" Derek asks, he's practically finishing her sentence.

"I can't choose, I like Felicity too. And Claire. Claire is beautiful." Addison says. "And, she's gonna have your name as first last name, _our _name."

"Your Mother could kill you" Derek laughs, making Addison grin a little.

"Yeah but she's ours, so we don't really have to care about that part." Addison says, Derek nods right away. He understands her point, Bizzy could never change that, or Carolyn, or anyone. "Except that I want my mother's wish to be accomplished."

"Which would be?" Derek asks, stopping in front of the nurse station, Addison follows him.

"That she doesn't want our daughter to have a slutty name, which is why we have to find a polite name." Addison says, brushing some hair out of her face, again.

"I can't wait to meet her." Derek smiles at Addison. "Marie Alice Cooper's chart, please?" Derek asks a nurse, who gives him te chart right away, he opens it.

"You have another operation today?" Addison asks, she sounds a little jealous. After all she's been treated like a incapacitated surgeon. Derek walks away with the chart on his hands, Addison by his side.

"Two more, actually." Derek informs Addison. "Imagine how many diseases that destroy families and happy people, must be horrible." He says, a little in sorrow. He couldn't imagine any of his familiars going through some difficult disease. It would break his heart and make him feel so insecure.

"It is. But, you are here to fix them all. You're always the hero." Addison says, sounding a little pessimistic. Derek knows what she's trying to say.

"Addison... please don't bring the hot dogs thanksgiving up again." He rolls his eyes, sighing. He closes the chart and looks at Addison by his side.

Addison was one of those people that was going to keep reminding you a mistake or fact that will bother you for the rest of your eternity; She had that gift somehow. Derek didn't mind dealing with that again, it was even funny and sweet seeing Addison so pissed.

"What? I poisoned your sister, it wasn't that bad, but you had hot dogs..." she says, sarcasm in each word.

"Here we go." Derek sighs again.

"Okay, Fine. I'll not bother with the hot dogs thanksgiving." She says, smiling at him. The pessimism is fading away.

"Good." He says.

* * *

"Okay, let's see how these two are doing." Addison says, adding gel on Laura's belly. The redhead doesn't have anything else to do than checking her patients and finishing paperwork, which was almost ready except from some little things that could wait. "Heartbeat is strong on both!"

"Good, good." Laura keeps encouraging herself to be strong. Her husband was barely there, he has to work the whole day and he had to go late on the nights to the hospital and be next to Laura.

"It's amazing, their recovery is excellent compared to other twins after these kind of operation. Your scar is healing too. Good signs only." Addison informs Laura. It was six twenty four pm.

The obstetrician keeps examinating every single centimeter and detail of the babies, at least as much as she could. Suddenly she feels that pain on her low stomach, again. This time is harder, she can tell. Her expression turns into a worried one.

"Doctor Shepherd? Is everything alright?" Laura asks her voice a little shaky. A nurse walking by stops.

"Page Doctor Shepherd." Addison says simply. There was a shock inside her, her heart, her lungs... everything freezed for a second. It was going to happen.

"What's going on?" The nurse asks worried, Addison moves herself a little, resting both of her hands on the feet of Laura's bed.

"Tell him that my water broke." Addison explains. Which makes the nurse and Laura go pale, alert.

* * *

"Yesterday I heard it, I swear!" Izzie says. "Every single nurse knows."

"It's impossible." Meredith says. "It's nuts."

"I swear. It's obvious." Izzie says.

Apparently somehow there was new gossip to tell all over Seattle Grace, and it had to be about She-Shepherd and her husband, again.

"As far as I know it was just a one night stand." Meredith informs her intern friends.

"One night stand always means an affair, Mer. Open your eyes, they can't even walk next to each other." Cristina says.

"Maybe they don't walk next to each other because they work in different departments? Plastics and Neonatal don't get too along." George says. Yang rolls her eyes.

"What do you think, Alex?" Meredith asks.

"Dude, I don't care. Montgomery does a great job, that's all I pay attention to." Alex says.

* * *

"Hey, Hey! I'm here." Derek enters the room running. He tries to catch his breath. Addison is in there, eyes closed, taking deep breaths.

She was already admitted, in her very own room, on a bed, connected to machines that checked her pressure and bp.

Addison smirks the best she can, Derek looks completely shocked, shiny, happy. His wife was in labor. Who won the bet after all?

"This is not Braxton Hicks." Addison says, her watery eyes make Derek feel sorry.

"No it is not." He says, grabbing her hand quickly, sitting on the bed, looking to his wife's eyes. She wanted to cry of joy, not pain or sorrow. She was happy this was finally happening. Rutherford was already inside of there, checking Addison's chart; Which made Addison feel safer.

"Contractions every ten minutes." Addison diagnoses.

"Sorry I could come earlier, I was stuck in surgery." Derek apologizes, he sounds sad, he looks sad, sorry for not being there for her.

"It's okay, you're where now. That's the important thing." Addison says, squeezing his hand a little. He brushes a bit of hair out of her face.

"Oh god." Addison cries in pain. This is not how she thought it would be. It's even much more painful like she ever have been told. She squeezes his hand. He squeezes back, knowing she's fighting right now.

"Do you need anything? Ice chips? I can get you whatever you need." Derek asks, he's taquicardic almost, shaking.

"Derek, calm down. I'm fine. I've been like this for three hours." She says, sighing of relief. The contraction was over.

"Do you want me to call anyone? Naomi, maybe?" Derek asks sweetly. Addison smirks a little, running a hand through her forehead, to wash the sweat out of it. She's already tiring herself. He knows Addison would like to have Naomi there, her best friend.

"Later. When she's born." Addison says, closing her eyes again. A knock on the door making everyone look at it. Mark.

Rutherford will not stay in here with him, for sure, which is why she leaves. "Excuse me." She says, politely, asking Mark to move himself so she can exit the room.

"Hey." Mark says, entering the room after the blonde woman was gone. He closes the door behind his back. "I thought as chief of neonatal they would have given you a better room instead of this." He says. Derek steps up from the bed, to greet his friend.

"Thought the same." Addison agrees, holding her stomach with her two hands. Inhaling, exhaling. Derek takes place where he was before. She was happy she was going to have her baby naturally, their girl was in the perfect position to be born.

"Addie, I won the bet." He smiles, making her chuckle a little. Derek was right, June 1st. He was thankful of having such an amazing wife and so proud of how brave Addison was.

"You bastard! Of course you did." She chuckles a little again, but she cuts herself off by another contraction. Mark watches this like a cheesy romantic movie. "You are a hero, remember?" She says, catching her breath.

Derek keeps himself silent, smiling at Addison. The day has come.

"Red, I'm sure you'll do great." Mark encourages. "I mean, you're already doing awesome." He says, smiling at both parents. "I'll leave you, so Kelly can come in here and check you. Otherwise she'll not enter the room." He laughs at that. Derek nods with a laugh. Addison doesn't really pay attention, because her contractions are making her feel so tired and low.

"Thanks." She manages to say. She could tell she was in another world right now. She hopes everything will be alright.

"Thank you." Derek stands up, hugging his best friend, so he can leave in peace. Mark leaves.

Derek is back by Addison's side. "You're making me a father." He says proudly. She smiles the best she can.

The smile fades away. "If something, anything, goes wrong, please save her." Addison begs Derek, with a shaking voice.

"Ads... you'll be okay. She's gonna be okay." Derek caresses her hand, trying to calm her down.

"I know, but whatever happens, you are going to save her. You'll tell Rutherford that, she comes first." Addison insists. She wants her daughter to live, and If she had to die so their daughter could accomplish so, she was going to, gladly.

"Addison..." Derek says, he's now starting to get scared himself.

"Just, promise me you'll do that." She squeezes his hand a little. He nods, kissing the back of her hand.

"Okay." He keeps caressing her hand.

Kelly enters the room again.

"Ow." Addison mumbles in pain, she still holds Derek's hand.

"Addison you're doing great, I'll check your dilatation, alright?" Kelly informs Addison, the redhead nods, pushing herself into a much comfortable sitting position.

Derek stands up from the bed. "I'll come back in a minute, okay? I need to make a call." Derek says to Addison.

"Okay, don't take too long. Please." Addison says, looking into Derek's eyes. He can sense her fears.

"Sure. I'll be right back." He says, leaning on to kiss her forehead and then pecking her lips quickly, leaving the room. He dials a familiar number, knowing this is something that would make his sisters feel loved by him, accepted even.

Leaving their familiar arguments and love-hate relationships was something mature coming from Derek. "Hello? Mom? It's me. Addison is in labor."

* * *

"She's in labor." Meredith says, now standing next to the black haired.

"She is." Derek nods. It's been ten minutes since he ended his call with Carolyn. "We're having a daughter." He says proudly, looking at Addison through the window of the room, that was half opened.

"Congratulations, Doctor Shepherd." Meredith says politely.

"Thank you." Derek nods, softly. He's grateful. Thankful.

"You and Addison will be great parents." Meredith shares her tender thoughts.

"Thank you Doctor Grey, much appreciated." Derek says. He wishes Meredith could move on with their short affair, but maybe that's a dream that will never happen.

The blonde woman was going to comment something else, but the door opened, making Derek's world freeze for a second, the fear, the adrenaline.

"She's ready." Rutherford smiles proudly. Derek is nervous about entering the room and getting Addison ready to give birth to their baby.

Years ago none of this could have happened. Mistakes changed their paths. Their wishes and dreams changed.

* * *

"Shhh, Addie, calm down." Derek tells her, she's insecure about this whole thing. She's trapped in here and all she can do is follow instructions.

_Come on, you are a board certified neonatal surgeon, you save babies! You can have one. _She told herself. She took a deep breath.

"I'm scared." She almost whispers.

"Don't be, it's gonna be alright." Derek says, squeezing her hand a little.

"Okay, Addison... I'm going to count, okay?" Rutherford offers. It was okay. It was okay If Addison was terrified and scared and paralyzed. It was fine, because she was another mother who wanted the best for their children.

"Okay." Addison inhales heavily, nodding. The feeling of vertigo fills her chest, but she can overcome this. She knows she can. Derek rests a hand on her back, he's ready to what will come.

"At the count of three." Rutherford nods. "One..." Addison takes a deep breath. "Two..." The redhead exhales. "Three!" Addison squeezes Derek's hand as much as she can, with all the forces her body has she tries her best.

She never felt this way before. Mind blowing. She was thankful she had a hand to squeeze, a shoulder to cry of pain and happiness on.

"That's right, you're doing great." Kelly congratulates, making Addison feel alright, a professional told her she was doing great. That meant everything was going alright. Addison groans a little, in pain.

"Mom and Naomi are on their way." Derek informs Addison. She smiles widely at him, giving him an understanding nod, taking a deep breath. They don't have that much time for chit chat right now.

"Addie, lets do this again." Kelly orders, Addison nods and gets ready for this.

"One... two... three!" There they go again.

"Jesus!" Addison wants to shout, scream, yell. She wants to try not to cry, not to be weak.

Fouth push had to be accomplished now, but she was destroyed already, how was she going to survive one more. She couldn't. Her body was begging for trashing. "No. I can't." Addison swears she will surrender.

"Addie, look at me." Derek orders. She looks up. "Do it. You know you can. Do it for her. She's expecting you to." She can get convinced easily by his words. She takes a deep breath and comes back on working her ass off to finally push her out of her. She pushes harder than earlier, but it's not enough.

"Oh my..." she cuts herself, trying to catch her breath. Derek caresses her back, kissing her temple.

After her sixth attemp of pushing, both Shepherd heard her crying fill the room, Addison closed her eyes, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. She could swear he saw Derek's eyes get watery, too.

"Go..." Addison says, moving her head a little in the direction where Kelly was cleaning their daughter, she's still catching her breath. Derek doesn't want to leg go her hand, but she's giving him the permission to go and meet their daughter.

He stands up and walks over his daughter. A sane beautiful girl, who was still crying a little. Kelly held her, giving her to Derek, who took her on his arms with a tear running down his cheek.

"Hey, you." He mumbles. He feels joy. Pure joy. Instant joy.

A nurse checks Addison's vitals, she's alright, everything is alright. He walks over Addison with her, Addison sits herself properly in bed, fighting the pain of her tired musles, all she wants is holding her girl, meeting her finally.

"Wanna hold her?" Derek asks, not taking his eyes out of his daughter. Addison nods immediately. Is that even a question? As soon as she's developed on her arms, Addison starts crying, in a way she feels she never cried before. She might be tired, but she's obviously holding her daughter for the first time.

"She's so tiny." Addison says, sniffing a little, with a finger she started caressing the new born's hand. She feels incredibly beautiful, she has a feeling... it's the feeling of happiness, life. There's something on their daughter's face that makes Addison feel safe. Her job as a mother was going to be the best. Derek caresses Addison's back, sitting on the bed, watching his two favorite women. "She's beautiful."

The feeling of meeting someone new that they expected to meet is wonderful. Is magical. Both feel like there hasn't been a better day than this one. June 1st is Addison's and Derek's favorite day, ever... from now on.

"She is." Derek smiles. Addison looks at Derek's eyes, smiling, fighting back some tears. "She's _ours._" That word sounds perfect.

"Thank you." Addison thanks Derek for such a wonderful gift, she looks up to her handsome husband, who smiles spontaneously. They accomplished what they always wanted.

"Who's the hero now?" Derek asks, teasing her. She shakes her head, she loves that part of him, so goofy. Always a dork that could make her feel happier, and now he was the dork that was the father of her child.

"Hi, beautiful." Addison smiles, looking down to her daughter, again. They could swear it feels like the time stopped and they got gifted with the cutest human being.

She had brownish-redhead hair, she barely had hair, but it was there. Her nose was like Addison's too, her ears were like Derek's just like her cheekbones were totally Shepherd. It was the perfect version of a mix of both of them.

They haven't seen their eyes yet, but Addison's intuition tells her she has the Shepherd eyes, blue wonderful eyes. Her soft is obviously delicated and so soft. A new human being that had to be taught right, and well treated.

"He chose us to raise her." Derek says, moving closer, so he can stroke his daughter's tiny cheek.

**_/ she is born!!!!!! Sksks. Review?_**

**_Next chapter I'll reveal the baby's name. Still can't find a perfect one ;( [ leave suggestions of names on the reviews if u want to] If you follow the story the app will send you emails every time I update! _**


	27. Chapter 27

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 27_**

"Where is she right now? I can't wait to meet her!" Nancy says, excited. She's the proud aunt already, not even being jet lag will make her feel 'low battery'.

"She's feeding her right now." Derek explains Nancy and Carolyn, who decided to take a flight at the middle of the night to come to Seattle and meet the new addition to the family.

"Can we see her? It's not like we haven't seen boobs before, Derek." Nancy insists.

"Nancy, can you turn your volume off for a minute?" Carolyn asks annoyed. Nancy rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest. Derek chuckles at their way of being so immature.

"I'll go ask her, wait a minute." Derek says, giving an apologizing smile. He goes inside of the room, closing it behind his back.

"Hey." Addison says softly, she's holding their baby on her shoulder, she just ended feeding her. Derek grins at the image of his two favorite people in there.

June 2st seemed like a beautiful day outside, there was a light wind, beautiful sun. They had announced an odd storm in the next days, but until now, everything seemed alright.

"How are you?" Derek asks, approaching his wife, holding her hand. Somehow she manages to hold her with one arm, it wasn't as difficult as she thought. Derek squeezes a little his wife's hand.

"I'm fine, we're fine." Addison says, looking at their daughter resting on her shoulder. She looks so peaceful.

"Nancy and mom want to meet her, what do we do?" Derek asks, slowly seeing how Addison's face turns into a shocked one, she changed their girl of position, holding her on her arms, she could rest her head on Addison's arm perfectly.

"They are here!? Oh God... um..." Addison doesn't know what to do, that was a surprise. She has to find a way to scape, right? Derek runs a hand through his hair.

"Should we let them in?" Derek asks. He doesn't sound excited either.

"I guess, I don't know. I didn't see this coming... at all." Addison says, accepting the proposal, it was family.

Addison knew that Carolyn changed her mind at least a little about her and Derek's relationship since their apareance on New Years.

"Sorry, it took me by surprise too, I thought they were coming in a couple days." Derek confesses, running a hand through his black hair, sighing.

"Let them in, otherwise they will try to make you crazy." She giggles a little, offering the baby for him to hold.

"Are you sure? You are already tired, I don't want them to exhaust you." Derek replies, taking the baby away from her arms.

"I'm fine, Der. I gave birth to the most beautiful girl and I want to brag about it." Addison says proudly, Derek smiles.

"Okay, I'll let you do that." He winks at her playfully. Walking to the door, opening it carefully, not wanting to cause any kind of trouble while he was holding his tiny daughter. Nancy is the first one who reacts here, getting inside of the room immediately, being followed by Carolyn.

"This is she!?" Nancy asks fascinated, looking at the little Shepherd. "Brother, she's beautiful." Nancy says, stealing it from his arms. Addison smiles, aunt and niece already get along.

"Wait, let me see her." Carolyn demands, walking near Nancy, meanwhile Derek closes the door. "She's precious."

"Thank you." Addison chuckles a little, it's like the baby is all they can concentrate about.

"Oh! Addison." Nancy looks at the redhead resting on bed. "She's an angel. Have you named her yet?" Nancy approaches Addison's side, still holding and looking at the newborn.

Addison gave Derek a look, that made him respond nodding at her. "Her name is Isabella Claire Shepherd."

"You have a pretty name, don't you, Isabella?" Nancy says in a cute voice, looking down to her newborn niece; Carolyn stares.

"Bella... we like to call her Bella." Derek says, sitting on a chair, looking at his sister and daughter bounding.

Bella started fuzzing minutes later, so Nancy handed her back to Addison, who knew how to calm her daughter down easily.

"She has the Shepherd eyes." Nancy keeps staring.

"She does." Addison nods, holding Bella's tiny hand with her fingers. She loves her too much already and doesn't want to let her go, it was painful when they took her to the nursery earlier, she didn't want to leave alone her beautiful daughter. "Carolyn, do you want to hold her?"

Carolyn looks surprised at this question, Addison always disliked her, and thought that the birth of her new granddaughter wasn't going to change their relationship; She approaches and accepts the offer by taking the tiny human being from Addison's arms. Bella does a cute gesture with her hands; already an adventurous little girl.

"How was the birth? Is everything alright with you two by the way? Sane?" Nancy starts asking Addison, worried.

"Nance..." Derek says, leaving an anxious sigh, he enjoys the view of his wonderful daughter and doesn't want any of his family members to ruin this. Isabella was a miracle that walked into their paths, an angel. His heart had Addison's and Isabella's name tattooed all over it.

"It was worth it, and we're alright." Addison smiles at Nancy. The Shepherd sister can be heartless sometimes but she's a real caring woman that loves her family. Both women smile at each other for a minute.

After few moments of silence, the room is filled by a knock on the door, who surprises everybody except Derek.

"Hallo!" Amelia says all goofy and dorky, entering the room with a gift bag. Nancy rolls her eyes.

"Amy, hi." Derek and Addison say at the same time, looking at the youngest Shepherd sister.

"This is she?" Amelia asks, approaching her mother, who was still holding the sleeping newborn. "Jesus, she's unreal." Amelia says, touching the baby girl's tiny arm.

"Her name is Bella." Carolyn says, in fact it was Isabella but everyone was sticking to the nickname. "She's beautiful, isn't she?"

"She is. But like, for real. Newborns look like disabled potatoes, this one looks perfect." Amelia jokes, being as real as possible her own way.

"Amelia." Nancy rolls her eyes, again.

"What? It's true. Kate's first kid looked like an alien and I didn't even know if there was some kind of deformation or physical problem on the baby." Amelia says.

"Yeah I was curious about that too." Derek laughs with Amelia.

"I thought you were staying at the hotel because you were jet lag." Nancy says to Amelia, bothered about her sister's presence?

"I was jet lag, but naps can wait, meeting my niece can't." Amelia explains.

Nancy stands up from the bed and walks over Carolyn, taking the new born from her arms.

"She prefers auntie Nance." Nancy brags, taking the sleeping baby on her own arms, giving her light little pats on the back.

"I almost forgot! I got you something, Addie." Amelia says, taking the spot where Nancy was before. Addison smiles the best she can, thankful of being surrounded by people who already showed lots of affect for their new addition to the family.

"I'll go check on a patient, do you think you can survive this family reunion?" Derek whispers on Addison's ear while Amelia works hard on opening the box.

"I do. Go save some lives." Addison smiles, pecking Derek's lips. Derek nods.

"I gotta go, take care of my girls, okay?" Derek looks at his two sisters, and then moves his eyes to his mother.

"Don't worry, they are safe with us." Carolyn says, taking a seat on a chair inside of the room.

"They really are!" Nancy says.

Derek smiles and squeezes Addison shoulder, he finally exits the room, shutting the door, leaving the four... five Shepherd women in there.

"So, I got you a mug." Amelia says, opening the box finally, she takes it out of the box. It was one of those typical _'world's best mom' _mug. A childish and useless mug. It was totally something Amelia would give someone who just gave birth. "It's great, right? I mean, now that you can finally fill yourself with caffeine. Here you go." She says proud of the mug.

"Thank you." Addison says sincerely. It was something incredibly silly and goofy, but she loved it, she liked the caring gesture coming from Amy.

"I know it's not the best gift ever, but I thought you guys needed something to have home to remind me." Amy winks at Addison.

"I love it. Thank you, really." Addison says softly, looking into Amelia's eyes.

"You're welcome, momma bear." Amelia says.

Bella starts waking up on Nancy's arm, crying a little. First thing Nancy does is taking her near Addison, who receives her into her arms happily.

"Shh, shh. It's okay, Bella..." Addison shakes her slightly, trying to calm her down. The baby rests against her chest, starting to calm down.

"I'm going to get a cup of coffee, anyone wants anything?" Carolyn asks politely, Addison is in her own world, not listening.

"I'll go with you." Nancy says, grabbing her purse from the feet of the bed. "Amy, are you coming with us?"

"No, thanks. I'll stay here." Amelia says nicely. Nancy nods and leaves the room accompanied by Carolyn.

"You have a gorgeous daughter, she really is beautiful." Amelia says, looking at Bella and then up to Addison.

"She is. I... I love her." Addison smiles, her white teeth shining, watery eyes.

"I'm pretty sure she loves you too." Amy says. She was the youngest sister and the _'less loved one_' as she could recall, but somehow she was one of the purest deep down.

"Do you wanna hold her?" Addison offers. Amy takes her black jacket off quickly. She doesn't reply verbally, she just moves closer to Addison, who gives Amy the awake and calm newborn.

"Hey, baby!" Amy greets her niece, smiling at her.

"I'm so scared of breaking her, she's so tiny, it's like a porcelain doll and I don't want to break her." Addison says, looking at her sister in law, she seemed fascinated meanwhile holding Isabella.

"You will not break her. Trust me, she has the best parents any baby could ask for. She's a lucky girl. Aren't you a lucky girl?" Amelia caresses the bit of hair the newborn has.

Isabella turned Addison's world around, it was all different now. Geez, her daughter was everything, she was pure love and joy, still being tenderly small and indefensible.

Another knock on the door. "Do you want me to open it?" Amelia asks, looking into the redhead's watery eyes.

"Please." Addison says. Amelia leaves Bella on Addison's arms once again. Mother and daughter cutest duo. Amelia walks to the door, opening it.

"Uh, um... Shepherd's sister?" Izzie Stevens is paralyzed not knowing what to do.

"Amy. And you are?" Amelia greets. As soon as Addison recognizes the voice knows who's in there.

"Stevens. What's up?" Addison calls out.

"You have a visitor, she says she knows you. Doctor Bennett." Izzie says, a little awkward standing in the door like that, speechless at the beauty a newborn could have.

"Oh my God, yes sure, let her in." Addison smiles brightly. Naomi was here. Her best friend was here. Izzie doesn't seem as happy as everyone, since she's on Meredith's side, but she has to admit that baby girl was a blessing. Stevens exits the room, so she can go and get Naomi.

Naomi knocks on the door before entering inside, both friends look speechless at each other, after years without seeing each other, and during the circumstances that Addison was currently living, everything seemed even more shocking.

"Nae..." Addison's watery eyes let some tears roll down her cheeks, Naomi walks on her high heels quickly, embracing her soul sister, trying not to squeeze the baby.

"Addison. God, it's so good to see you." Naomi says on Addison's ear, still hugging her.

Amelia grabs her purse in silence, leaving the two best friends inside, knowing they may have wanted some privacy.

As they break the hug, Naomi looks down to the blue eyed baby girl. Bella's small hand catches Addison's finger.

"Oh, Addison... she's beautiful." Naomi's eyes get watery along Addison's.

"Hey Bella," Addison tells her daughter, in a cute and soft voice, "This is auntie Naomi." Addison points at Naomi, non stop looking into the newborn's little eyes.

"Bella?"

"Her name is Isabella." Addison explains looking up to her best friend. Naomi smiles; seeing her in there enjoying her best life, cuddling and bounding with her very own new born.

"How are you, Addie? I haven't seen you in so long, you are stunner than the last time we saw each other." Naomi says, sitting on a chair that was next to Addison's bed.

"I'm terrified." Addison says, looking at her best friend's eyes, turning her face into a more serious one. Naomi frowns worried at her, knowing Addison could be a master hiding her feelings, this seemed to be something that Addison didn't like to show. It was fear.

"What are you saying?" Naomi asks, worried still, approaching her chair to the bed a little more, so she can reach for Addison's upper arm and squeeze it gently.

"What if I fail? I've failed many times. I don't want to fail her. What if I'm not a good mother and I end up as sour and as manipulative as Bizzy?" Addison says, caressing the back of her daughter, showing a worried and scared expression. Her voice shaking. "I can be a total disaster, I don't want to make everything fall apart again, I just..."

"Addison!" Naomi cuts her off. "You just had a baby, being overwhelmed is okay. Feeling this way is okay, you're human. But, come on, shut the fuck up Montgomery!" She says, growing serious, calling her in a way she would only be called in mes school, "You and I both know that you are strong and brave enough to raise that kid." Naomi encourages her own way, making Addison crack a closed lip smile.

"I don't want to screw it up." Addison says. She feels small, not capable of anything right now.

"I'm gonna tell you exactly what you told me when I had Maya and I had doubts: You are damn capable, that baby girl is here, expecting to be taken care. Expecting to be treated and raised the way you can try your best, because it's also her job to live the journey you'll give her. This is not and individual mission."

"How did you memorize that?!" Addison asks speechless, knowing those were her exact words.

"Because I've always heard you." Naomi says sincerely, making Addison smile and feel a bit more confident. "She's lucky she'll have an incredible wise mom to taught her life lessons. Derek will be there, too. You're not alone." Addison can't explain how thankful she feels to have her best friend there, supporting her and helping her to get out from sinking into her insecurities. "This is not Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd anymore, you're her mom. A twenty four seven machine."

"Naomi. Thank you. I missed you... I... I needed you here today." Addison says, "do you want to hold her?"

* * *

Derek enters the room, finding Naomi and Addison both fall asleep on the hospital bed, Naomi has a hand around Addison's waist, protective of her best friend. Isabella is nowhere to be seen. He leaves the coffee cup on the night stand, he had bring Addison some caffeine, since he knew she might need it. He doesn't know where his daughter might be, so starts thinking about where his daughter might be right now. He panicked a little bit decided to take a deep breath and leave the room silent, walking through the corridors to finally find the nursery, where he sees Amelia standing.

"Amy? What are you doing here? It's late. You should be in your hotel room or wherever you are staying..." Derek says.

"Yeah, I know. The thing is, I was with Addison earlier, when a nurse offered taking Bella here so Addison could rest from the birth exhaustion and all of that. I followed the nurse that carried Bella here and now I can't keep staring at her." Amelia explains, making Derek smile at that. His youngest sister being overprotective over her youngest niece.

"It's okay." Derek says, posing a hand on his sister's back, focusing his eyes on Isabella Shepherd. "I can't keep staring at her too."

"She sleeps so peacefully, deeply sleeper like you." Amelia chuckles.

"Shut up. She took that from Addison, I can be awaken easily." He says, denying the obvious.

"Derek, I saw how Kate and Liz pranked you every summer night, no matter what they were doing to you, you won't stop sleeping." Amelia laughs at such childish memories.

"Those were cruel pranks, I'm pretty sure the movie '_parents trap_' was inspired by my sisters." Derek laughs. There's silence, for a minute everything is her. Her. His daughter in there, resting. He wonders what could have happened if Addison never showed up in Seattle at first place, maybe his daughter would have never been born, or he would keep being the hot single doctor that slept with interns. He wasn't that man anymore. He promised himself somehow, that he was changing for the better to himself and his family. Addison and Isabella deserved better, they both deserved someone present in their lives.

"Addison isn't the only one terrified, I can tell." Amy decides to end the silence.

"What are you saying?" Derek asks curiously.

"You are also terrified. You seem worried, paralyzed." Amy diagnoses.

"Gotta admit I never pictured this. I thought my marriage was ended, it was, it really was." He breaths deeply, taking a quick pause, "Now I have a daughter, and my wife is happier than ever. I love my family." Derek smiles to himself, it feels incredibly cozy, wonderful, comfortable to be settled, to not be still suffering from the fear of loosing anyone who he loved, the feeling of precupation at Addison's risky pregnancy, the umcomfortable feeling of not knowing if he was up to experiencing this; It's all gone.

"You are going to be an amazing dad. Addison and you have worked it out, she has learned how to forgive herself, you have learned too, haven't you?"

"Yeah... I, um, I feel different." He says sincerely.

"It's called parenthood, deal with it. You'll have to show your best smile each time something that pisses you off happens." Amelia says.

"How did you..'" He gets cut off by his youngest sister.

"Learned this? Well, I had to live a month with Kathleen and her children. It was a whole damn challenge." Amelia chuckles a bit.

"What? Really? I didn't know." He says.

"It was when you were gone, none of us knew anything about you. Nancy had to go pick Addison because was in some hotel drinking her fourth martini, calling you, begging you to come back." She informs Derek some of the things that happened during his absence, "Kate's kids were all day home and I had to be there, somehow agreed on helping Kathleen, babysit them and... well, it was the old times. It's past. Still can't believe I agreed on babysitting our annoying nephews." Amelia chuckles spontaneously, making Derek crack a smile.

"I'm sorry for that, still. I disappeared and decided to leave you all behind, my bad." Derek says, making Amy look at Derek with concerned eyes.

"Derek, it's fine. Your wife cheated on you, you were in a bad place. We all do stupid and impulsive things when we are in a bad place, come on, you're talking to the master of bad choices." Amelia says, posing her hand on her oldest brother, patting it twice.

"I'm still guilty about that. Addison deserved better, I should have stayed." Derek repeats something he has told himself so many times, it's almost tattoed on his mind. Amelia pats his shoulder once again, in understanding of his regret.

* * *

Later that same afternoon, Addison had been paging Meredith Grey for the last ten minutes and she was still not answering. Bella was just taken back to the nursery after being feed by Addison.

"Okay, Addison, you've been pressing that button for a while. What's going on? Are you feeling alright?" Naomi asks, looking worried at the redhead who seemed to be struggling. Addison doesn't respond. "Who are you paging? Do you want me to go get Bella back?" Her daughter had left the room twenty minutes ago, maybe they were too bounded to be separated? Or that's what Naomi thought at first.

"Derek is with her at the nursery, I just- I have patients and I need to know how they are doing. That's why I need my assigned intern in here to check on them while I am... _stuck_ in here." Addison says, pressing the button again. Naomi sighs and steps up from the chair where she was sitting, she walks over Addison and takes the pager away from her hand. Addison opens her mouth, wanting to complain, but she closes it immediately, knowing it would be useless because her best friend has a point, as always.

"Chill. You just had a baby, you should be taking a nap, not paging whoever you're paging." Naomi says, a little grumpy, knowing that Addison could be way too stubborn and annoying when it came to work and life in general. Naomi sits back on the chair, observing the redhead movements in case she was going to page the intern again.

"You're rude. I don't like you." Addison says, childish, making Naomi roll her eyes but laugh anyways. A knock in the door makes Naomi keep her mouth shut. "Who is it?" Addison yells out loud. The door opens, reveling a tired young intern. "Meredith, it's you... Thank God, I need you to check on Laura Nelson and Ann Hudson as soon as you can and please give me a full report about their health status, If the nurses don't have their charts, Rutherford might. Please." Addison says, showing concern at her patients, not really realizing what kind of hell Meredith was staring at.

The blonde young intern was staring at a tired redhead woman who just gave birth to the baby of her very own crush.

"Okay, um, I will. Congratulations, by the way." Meredith says, breathing heavily, catching her breath after running all those corridors so she could be able to get there.

"Thanks, oh, and if Ann shows any changes on her medication, do not forget to write it in the chart." Addison reminds the intern. Naomi sees everything happening and stares at this whole awkward scene happening, she could feel the tension between Meredith Grey and Addison Shepherd. Meredith nods and closes the door behind her back, finally leaving the room and the awkward vibe.

"That's Derek's mistress, isn't she?" Naomi laughs at the serious expression that Addison is having right now. The redhead gets comfortable in bed, looking at Naomi with sad eyes.

"Yes. And I'm punishing her and giving her work to do." Addison says, adding extra information when a _yes_ could be a perfect reply to Naomi's question.

"You never mentioned her name before, why didn't you?" Naomi asks curious, knowing that Addison would have mentioned, knowing she could be a perfectionist, specially when it came to Derek's adultery discussion.

"It wasn't important." She replies simply. "I wish she could disappear, and let me breathe in peace."

"She's getting in your nerves, right?" Naomi says, looking into Addison's deep eyes.

"She is, she has since the first time I met her. Her mother is the legend, Ellis Grey." Addison says, sighing, moving some of her red perfect hair away from her face.

"Ellis Grey? Richard worked once with her, didn't he?" Naomi asks, guiding herself.

"Yeah, exactly." Addison nods. "Do you think I'm too cruel?"

"Why would I think that? I mean, If that would have happened to me with Sam... I would have probably burned that bitch's house down." Naomi says sincerely, making Addison crack a smile and a soft laugh.

"Should I be worried that I did consider that option plenty of times?" Addison says goofy, making Naomi laugh. It was good to have her there.

* * *

"Izzie, you're working with Lucifer, aren't you?" Meredith runs into Izzie Stevens, who has a cup of coffee on her right hand. Izzie chuckles at the nickname they invented for Kelly.

"Yeah, I am. Why? She Shepherd being a bitch again?" Izzie sips her coffee.

"Kinda. She gave birth to Derek's daughter last night, so I have to check on _her _patients... didn't you hear that?" Meredith asks, looking at Izzie's shook expression appear slowly on her face.

"Oh, I thought I heard it wrong, I was busy thinking what to do with so much money, so..." Izzie does a gesture with her shoulders.

"i get it, you still don't know what to do with it." Izzie nods. "Anyway, I need some charts that Rutherford has. Do you know where they are?" Meredith asks a little stressed, struggling, knowing she had lots of assigned work to do.

"Yes sure. She would kill me if I let you inside her office, you know why." Izzie says, giving Meredith a look. "I'll get in and check." Izzie says leading the way to Rutherford's office.

"Where is she, by the way?" Meredith asks curious.

"She's in the middle of a surgery." Izzie replies, opening the door to Rutherford's office, leaving her cup of coffee next to the computer. Meredith just glances at Izzie while she takes the charts on her hands, she's checking the names, for sure. "I have Carmen Jackson, Ann Hudson..."

"I need that one, Ann Hudson." Meredith says taking the chart from Izzie's hands. "Thank you."

"Okay, anyone else?" Izzie asks.

"Yeah, Laura Nelson."

"Caitlyn Espinoza, Hillary McCain, Addison Montgomery-Shepherd! Let's take a sneek peek!?" Izzie says, lighting up her own mood, glad to find an interesting document.

"No! What are you doing?!" Meredith tries to stop Izzie.

"We can't get in trouble! It's a patient, important one." Izzie laughs, opening the chart. "Oh la la! Antecedents... ankle surgery? Addison broke her ankle?" Izzie laughs, making Meredith giggle at the stupid entusiasthm izzie showed.

George walks by. "I finally found you both. I need relationship advices..."

"You're seriously gonna ask us that?" Meredith chuckles, looking at George. O'Malley was seriously going to ask a woman who had her heart broken over a failed romance and another woman who just practically killed the love of her life, about relationship advices?

"Good point. Sorry!" He says, awkwardly. Izzie's face turns serious, looking up to Meredith and George.

"Iz, What is it?" Meredith asks curious, wondering what was on her mind. Izzie looks back on the chart, checking it for the third time in case she read it wrong.

"Oh my... She had an abortion?!" Izzie's eyes wide.

* * *

"I think I'm going now, sorry Addie. I'm jet lag, getting some sleep would be the best for me now." Naomi says, grabbing her purse, she stands up from the chair and walks over Addison's direction. Addison grabs her hand and smiles widely.

"It's okay. Thank you for coming." Addison smiles, looking up to her best friend. Naomi squeezes her hand and leans to kiss Addison's cheek.

"Don't thank me, I had to come. It's a best friend's obligation." Naomi says, making Addison smile again.

"Thank you anyways!" Addison repeats. Her company was important for Addison, seeing her after all these years made her feel good, fresh, loved, maybe even less tired after the birth of her gorgeous daughter.

Naomi walks over the door now, opening it. "Bye Addie, see you tomorrow." They smile at each other.

"Bye!" Addison says. Naomi is about to leave, but gets caught by Derek holding Isabella.

"You're leaving?!" Derek says, entering the room, looking at Naomi who's still standing in there, ready to leave.

"Yeah, sorry." Naomi bites her lip. "At least I get to tell my goodbyes to this angel!" Naomi leans and kisses Isabella's forehead. Meanwhile Addison is still in bed, expecting Derek to develop her daughter into her arms.

"No need to be sorry. Thanks for coming." Derek smiles at Naomi. "Have a good night."

After Naomi leaves finally, Derek walks towards Addison with the just awaken newborn. "Hey" Addison says sweetly, her eyes lost into Derek's. Seeing him in there, holding their daughter... for her it's like the cutest thing she has ever seen.

"Hey." He smiles even more, if that's capable. "I don't speak baby language, but she's been fuzzing for a while, I think she wants to be with her mama." Derek says, sitting on the free space on the bed, he offers Bella to Addison. _Mama. _

Addison and Derek were ready to raise that baby girl with love, not perfection.

"Aw. Come here, angel." Addison says in a cute tone, receiving her from her husband's hands. "She's so perfect."

"She looks a lot like you... I'm a bit sad she doesn't have your blue greenish eyes." He says, a bit of sorrow on his voice. He poses a hand on Addison's knee, caressing it for a moment.

Derek missed Addison during the day, he had been having to perform surgeries, check on patients, diagnose diseases, taking little breaks to check on Isabella and Addison, he had to help in the ER... it had been a long day. Long and tiring day. Which is why, despite the feeling of his tired and exhausted body, he was recovering energies by being with his two favorite human beings.

"I wanted her to have your eyes. They look perfect on her" Addison says, looking down to her daughter. "I'm happy she has them." Isabella starts crying after a couple of silent minutes, which makes Addison'a heart ache a little. "Oh, what's wrong Bella?" She says, still in a cute voice.

"Maybe she's hungry." Derek says, pointing at Isabella's hand.

"She surely is." Addison nods, both laugh at the way Isabella tries to punch Addison's boob with her tiny hands. For such a tender age, she was already smart enough to try to communicate herself by other way than crying.


	28. Chapter 28

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 28_**

Derek wakes up by the sound of Isabella's crying, it's been a long night, first night she's home. He doesn't move from the bed, trying to wake himself up a little more, so he could be in a better quality of lucidity. Isabella stops crying, which is weird, since she usually cries non stop, or that's what she's been showing in the last four hours.

Derek turns around, to find the spot where his wife should be asleep, totally empty. He stands up from bed, running two of his fingers through his eyes, rubbing them. He turns the light on, walks through the corridor, finding Bella's room door opened. Addison is in there, carrying her. He approaches the room.

"You're up..." Derek says, making Addison look at him immediately. She's wearing her white robe and nothing on her toes.

"Yeah... I figured that maybe it was better if I slept here in case she could wake up again." She says, still calming her daughter down.

"Addie, you should be resting. She's four days old and you have barely slept. Go to bed, I'll stay here." Derek insists.

"Hey, it's okay. I can handle her, we are bounding." Addison gives Derek a tired but sweet grin. Derek will not accept a no for an answer, which is why he leaves Bella's room, and goes into the closet of the entrance. Addison watches him, curious. Tarek walks in, taking place on the floor, next to Isabella's crib.

"What are you doing?" She calls out. Derek ignores her and keeps looking for what he's looking for. It was two AM and she was fighting the tiredness all over her body, but she needed to keep her child calm and safe.

He finally finds it.

"Your blanket? What are you going to do?" Addison sees her husband turning the corridor lights off, walking inside of Isabella's room again, he's silent. He sits on the nursery chair the room has, he pats his knee.

"Come here." Derek instructs. Addison grins and walks towards him, sitting on his lap, leaning in, letting her head rest on his shoulder, Isabella falling back asleep on Addison's arms. Somehow Derek manages to cover the three of them with the blanket. He turns the lights off, kissing the top of Addison's head. His two heavy sleepers fall asleep quite quick enough.

Derek had asked Webber to take some days off and change the hours of his schedule. His daughter had been born and he wanted to spend time with that little ray of sunshine, and he was obviously looking forward some quality time with his wife.

* * *

"Amy! What are you doing here?" Derek asks, he's already annoyed.

"I came to see my favorite brother." She says.

"Amelia, you're wearing blue scrubs." Derek says. His worst nightmare is happening.

"I found a way to scrub with you on Ramona's case." She confesses. "Surprise! Cheers!" She says, doing a funny face. Derek opens his mouth in amusement.

"Is this some kind of joke? Wait, you talked to the chief?" Derek asks right away.

"I was getting bored in Seattle and our flight is in two more days because of the windy weather this place has." Amelia informs his brother. He runs a hand through his hair.

"Is Nancy performing surgeries too?" Derek looks both ways, in case his other sister is near.

"Of course not! She's probably with mom somewhere having lunch." Amy says, posing both of her hands on her hips, smiling widely at her brother. "Don't you worry, mom is not a big fan of big animals like your dog, she will not go bother Addison." Amelia says with a laugh.

* * *

"She gets annoyed easily." Naomi struggles, holding Isabella. The baby starts crying once again, which makes Addison feel bad immediately, so she takes her from Naomi's arms.

"Mom wants to shower, Isabella!" Addison says, calming her down. Naomi smiles. All Addison wanted was taking a nap, getting rid of her daughter for just five minutes so she could take a damn shower, but no one could calm her down except from her mom.

"She adores you, but she disgusts me or anyone else that's not you." Naomi says, with a laugh. Addison sighs.

"I just want to shower, Nae. How did you survive Maya the first days?!" Addison says, struggling.

"I don't know how I did that either. Derek will be here in a couple of hours, I'm sure he can help you." Her best friend suggests.

"What if I shower with her? Would that be too dangerous?" Addison laughs, holding her daughter on her arms, caressing her small cheek with a finger.

* * *

_December 4th._

Their baby girl was growing up fast! The first time she crawled, she made Addison freak out in an epic way.

"Hello?" A light voice calls out. It's almost four pm, the day was cold as hell, the Shepherds apartment was quiet. "Hi?" Meredith says, for the second time. She looks around, going inside of the kitchen, spotting a table where she could leave Derek's documents.

Meanwhile, Addison finally gets out of the shower. She had a precious shower not being interrupted by her daughter, who was apparently sleeping right now. _Crap. _She didn't have anything to get dry with. She was alone home, so she didn't mind on walking naked around her own apartment.

The closet that contained the towels was next to Isabella's room, exactly next to her bathroom. The redhead, with wet hair walks out of the bathroom, not minding on walking down the corridor this way.

"Oh my God!" Addison yells out when she sees Meredith Grey standing in there. All Addison could do was trying to cover herself, which she did, letting herself fall flat on the couch. The intern reacts by turning around. "Meredith. Why are you...? What are you...?" Addison says, quickly.

"Doctor Shepherd... your husband gave me the keys to leave some documents he needed here. I'm so sorry, I didn't know..." Meredith rambles.

"Did you do it?" Addison asks, cutting Meredith off. The blonde woman turns around a little, thank god she can't see anymore of Addison.

"God, no, I haven't slept with him. He doesn't even look at me." Addison wasn't asking about that, but somehow she felt relief.

"I was referring to the documents... did you leave them here?" Addison says, already stressing out because of the position she was experiencing.

"Yeah, on the kitchen. And, I'm sorry." Now she sounded even sadder, or disappointed. The twelve year old intern took her purse and left the apartment.

* * *

**Okay y'all.. this chapter DOESNT MATTER. I did a huge skip of the time, sorry. I dont know why i wrote it. I swear it had some good parts but my cousin made me delete the whole thing! I was 2K words and i ended up with 600 :(**


	29. Chapter 29

_**"What love made us do"**_

**_Chapter 29_**

March 10th... Isabella was now nine months old, Addison decided that it was time to come back from maternity leave and catch up with her department and patients. She hoped that Kelly would have managed the department perfectly while she was gone, she hoped her arrival was going to be almost none.

After all the gossip that was told about Addison, she wondered herself if she was brave enough like showing up her face around that damn hospital again. Her physical recovery was actually amazing, she still had some extra pounds, but it didn't look like she gave birth months ago. Derek had taught her some simple recipes that she could try at home when he couldn't be there to prepare the meals. And she was learning, even if she wasn't that excited or amused.

Derek was totally in love with their beautiful girl, she was still a baby, but she enjoyed her dad's company more than anyone else. She enjoyed being at the lake, playing with Derek and Tarek while Addison looked at them from behind. Addison and Derek had their first Christmas with the lovely company of their daughter.

She was just starting to talk, sometimes even try to stand on her feet, which made Addison and Derek amused and excited about knowing what her first word would be, for now she said some letters, or said syllabus, mostly she said nonsense baby rambling. She had red brownish hair still, a hair color tone very similar to Addison's, she had it short, imitating her mom's new haircut, too.

"You think it's okay? I mean, she's way too warmed up to us, we barely leave her alone." Addison observes, leaving her sleeping daughter on her crib, trying to keep her time light and not too high. Addison approaches Derek on her high red heels, who's on the doorway, waiting for Addison. She adjusts her black dress once again.

"It's alright. She's gonna be asleep, and she has to learn how to be without us, besides you're coming back to work soon." Derek says, making sense for sure. Addison sighs, but nods in understanding, she's feeling sorry for leaving her daughter with a stranger while they had to work. Tonight it was their night, finally having a proper dinner out of home, something to celebrate Addison coming back to Seattle Grace.

"You're right." Addison breathes, adjusting Derek's tie, and then pecking his lips.

"Let's go?" Derek asks, waiting for Addison's response.

They had left one of the women that worked at the hospital nursery, Addison trusted her, so did Derek. She was watching their baby girl tonight. One of the things Addison was more terrified to, was not being there when Bella would say her first words.

When they arrived to the restaurant, and they order their drinks, first thing Addison does is dialing Cindy's number, worried about their nine month old daughter.

"Addie, I get that you're maternal, but we have been out of home for forty minutes and Cindy said she would call if something happened." Derek points out, making Addison roll her eyes, but she grabs his hand gently anyway.

"Hi. Cindy. Everything alright?" Addison asks in a positive and polite voice. "Oh okay." Addison nods. "Great. Let me know whatever happens, really. Okay, bye bye." Addison ends the call.

"_Bye bye_?" Derek chuckles. Addison grabs his other hand, looking into his eyes.

"Don't laugh at my way of saying my goodbyes." Addison says.

"You've been spending too much time watching cartoons with Bella." He chuckles, making Addison chuckle along.

"Silly!" She says, smiling at him. She's glad they did this, going out, spending time alone. The last months of her life were all about being home, being with Isabella, teaching Isabella, going to the park, learning how to cook, walking the dog... she barely had time for her husband.

"Are you excited? About, you know, operating again?" Derek asks, expecting to see a thrilled expression on his wife's face.

"I am... kind of. I will miss our girl, I gotta admit." Addison says, looking down, taking a hand to her neck, so it could play with her necklace. With his free hand, he pours more wine on Addison's glass.

"She'll be okay. I miss her at work too, all the time. And I obviously miss you, too." He says, all flirty and sweet. It's cute. Isabella favorited Derek somehow, I mean, she adored her parents, but she was so attached to Derek, that Addison sometimes felt jealous.

"God, i miss you too." Addison sighs. He takes a sip of his wine.

"Hope you're talking in the way I'm talking." He says, leaving his glass on the table. Smiling cheeky at his wife, who smiles back.

"I think I am." She winks playfully, making him chuckle. She had that gift of making everything something goofy.

"Bella keeps us with too much work, I can't wait to Easter so we can go to New York and leave her with Nancy for a night." Derek says. He's not saying he doesn't want to be with his daughter, he's referring that sometimes he needs his time off of parenthood, so does Addison.

"Are you suggesting a getaway to a hotel on Easter?" She says, raising an eyebrow, she looks at him with an odd expression. He nods.

"What? We aren't religious." He chuckles. Addison tilts her head a bit. "I mean, we do celebrate some of those things, but, you're a protestor, you haven't went to church in a thousand years." Derek has a point, for sure.

"Sounds good." She agrees. It was a perfect Saturday night.

"Oh, I almost forgot..." he checks on his pockets, looking for something. Addison looks confused, not understanding. He found something on his pocket and smiled. He stands up from his chair, and walks over Addison's, he moves her hair, so he's able to take off the necklace she's wearing, he adds one he bought for her. She smiles, and touches it on her neck.

"Wait, this is..." Addison examinates It while Derek goes back to his chair. "This is a copy of the necklace with the date of our anniversary..."

"I figured that it was a perfect gift. You love that necklace, so, I decided to take it somewhere they could copy it and add Isabella's birth date." Derek smiles proud of his gift. She smiles.

"I don't want to ruin my mascara." She chuckles, between little sobs, trying to hold the tears of joy on her eyes. "Thank you." She keeps touching the necklace.

"June 1st." He says, smiling at Addison. She nods and grabs his hands again, smiling.

"Thank you. It's lovely." She says.

"No, there's no need to thank me."

There's silence, until Addison decides to speak up.

"Do you think they will... stare?" Addison asks, taking her glass of wine, giving it a long sip.

"Because of the whole...?" Derek is aware.

"Humiliating Addison Shepherd part one hundred and sixty six?." She says, kinda negative but goofy.

"To be honest, i think they will. It's been a while since the whole hospital got to know about it, but..."

"People don't forget things easily." Addison finishes his phrase. People really don't forget things easily, come on, their affairs came into fights usually all the time, they were living the dream, but as Addison said, people don't forget things easily. He nods, silently. "It's incredible how I end up being the greatest news in the hospital."

"It's silly gossiping. Don't listen." Derek insists.

"Derek, everyone talks about me. I can't cut my ears like Vincent Van Gogh so I don't hear all the bullshit they talk behind my back." She says, not in a nasty or rude way, she actually says it calmly.

"Look, they focus on you because they don't have anything else to do. Or to care of. You aren't what they say about you." McDreamy speaks. Addison reflects about it, and realizes it's true, she should stop acting so childish.

"I'm hungry." She says after some moments of silence. He smiles at her, charming. He loves the way his wife was. Addison wasn't a price for him, she never was, meanwhile for other men, she was.

* * *

"Say it, please! Come on. Come on!" Derek encourages the baby girl, playing on his stomach. She's sitting on his stomach, clapping her tiny hands. "Dada. Dada." Derek keeps saying it. Bella leans on and grabs Derek's thumb, chewing it with her tiny teeth. Derek laughs at how that feels.

Addison surprises them; "What are you guys doing?" Addison asks, standing of the master bedroom's doorway. Derek looked at the door, along with Bella. Both smiled at Addison. She was holding a cup of coffee, staring at the cute scene happening in front of her eyes.

"She made that 'd' sound yesterday, so I'm trying to figure out if she can say Dada." Derek confesses, coming back on looking at the mini redhead.

"Hey, that's not fair. You're training our daughter to say your name. I wanna train her too." Addison smiles, a bit jealous, still finding it cute. She sits next to Derek and Isabella in bed. Bella looks at Addison, with an amused expression, a funny one making both proud parents chuckle at.

"I'm not training her, just encouraging her." Derek says, stroking the little girl's hair. Addison rolls her eyes and leaves her hot cup of coffee on her nightstand, now she's allowed to get closer to Derek and lay in there.

"Fine. Encourage her." Addison says. Derek is a little confused at first, considering that his wife could be a depredator, a competitive hot mess. When it came to their daughter's first word, it seemed even weirder to Derek that Addison wasn't "_training"_ her too.

"Bella, say dada!" Bella looks down at Derek, with a confused funny face. The baby decides to look back at Addison with a cute look, smiling a bit. Derek chuckles; Addison was obviously a distraction to the baby girl. She loved her mama. Bella does a gesture with her hands, trying to reach for Addison. Addison gets her daughter's message and picks her up from Derek's lap.

"Hello, princess!" Addison holds her, getting comfortable in bed with her daughter on her arms.

"Hey, you just stole my daughter." Derek chuckles, pushing himself into a sitting more comfortable position. Addison smiles at Derek, but then her almost green eyes came back to looking at Isabella Claire. Derek had noticed that since the first year he met Addison. Her eyes used to change depending of the weather, in winter they were extra blue, in spring they turned into a much more greenish tone, but her eyes were always blue, with a slight tone of green that Derek fell in love as soon as he saw her eyes while they were both in front of a cadaver.

Isabella touches Addison's face, palming her cheeks, she laughs. It's cute. It feels like her uterus is dying of love because of the act of looking at that preciousness. "What's up?" Addison asks her daughter. Derek stares, paying attention to every single movement his best girls were doing. Everything was gold for him.

Bella shakes her head. Addison and Derek chuckle at how cute she could be. Bella calms down and lets her body fall on Addison's, embracing her momma with her tiny and short arms. "Aw. Look at her." Addison says, stroking her hair. Bella closed her eyes and smiled a bit, showing preference at the moment for the redhead.

He stares a while longer, noticing how alike they both were. There's silence for a minute. Silence in which Addison and Derek look at each other in a sweet and platonic way, hearing Bella's normal breathing, the smell of Addison's vanilla candles made everything a bit more perfect. "She's your clone, Addison." Derek says, in a cute way, reaching for his phone on his pocket. As soon as he has it out, he takes a picture. A cute one. Addison kissing the top of her head, Bella staring to fall asleep while embracing her. It was the cutest thing ever.

"She's so cute." Addison mumbles. Bella was already a kind and humble tiny being, she was pure joy. Addison yawns, brushing some hair out of her face, looking back into Derek's eyes. He grabs her hand.

Derek could swear this is all a dream and he will soon wake up and be back on living on his trailer, yelling and fighting with Addison, screwing interns and still be the perfect example of a man for the whole hospital. He didn't want to wake up, neither he wanted to come back to that living hell when everything was total non sense and arguments, hate. His wife and daughter, good job position, new friends and the joy and love he was experiencing, all of that was what he really wanted. What he wanted since years. But he never realized he wanted this so much. They needed a clean slate and a fresh start. He wanted to believe their almost divorce was Addison's fault, but with the time, working everything out, he realized that in a marriage two have to keep fighting from sinking.

"Is this some kind of family disco nap?" Derek asks. It was a perfect Sunday afternoon, last day off before Addison would be back on working. Addison leans on and rests her head on his shoulder, she sighs. She is worried her baby girl will feel sadness and fear while she's not home with her. Bella was still being breastfeed; Addison decided it was the best, since it's healthy when the kids are growing up, they need the vitamins and proteins. Was she going to be able to keep breastfeeding? Was her daughter going to get along with her new nanny?

"Yeah. A classic family disco nap." Addison says, moving herself and her baby girl in a different position. Addison gets comfortable, placing a hand on Bella's stomach. Derek joins them, getting closer to Isabella, who was resting in the middle of her parents.

* * *

Addison's first day back at Seattle Grace wasn't going as expected. The board was free of surgeries. The nurses looked at her in a weird way, some people won't talk to her. It almost feels like her first arrival.

"Addison! I heard you're back. God, I'm so happy you are back." Callie says, hugging Addison. The redhead hugs her back, tighter than ever, she's already having a rough morning and misses her baby girl.

"Yeah, I'm back!" Addison says, trying her best way to show excitement. Derek was on the neuro wing and all she wanted was some company since she felt like a complete stranger again. Everything repeats. She's wearing her black heels, the same ones as when she appeared the first time around the hospital. Well, in that time she was the hot redhead that worked in neonatal with a complicated case. "How are you?"

"I am great! We missed you. Gotta admit I thought you weren't coming back. I mean, we all saw that beautiful baby girl you gave birth to," Callie says, making Addison smirk, the thought of her baby girl was crossing her mind every single second. "Which I thought you were going to be working with today." Callie giggles a little.

"Oh, God no. She's too young to come to work with momma yet. I know you guys wanna see her, but at the moment there's a nanny taking care of her, at least for few weeks until we figure out if she'll come to the hospital daycare." Addison explains, sighing again. She wishes she could be bragging about her baby girl the whole damn day, which was why she decided to leave her at home; Addison knew herself too good. She knew that if she left Isabella at the daycare she would go check on her every five minutes non stop and she would not be able to concentrate on her patients and surgeries and paperwork. Bella had to stay hoe for few weeks until Addison was more caught up into working, Derek agreed.

"I see. Derek always talks about her, actually some nurses have started calling him McDaddy." Callie informs Addison, both chuckle. It was a cute McName. "Also, I'm sorry." Addison saw this coming, people feeling pity about her personal but now public life. She wasn't sure yet who could have spread the rumor, Addison thought that maybe it started as something fake that some bored worker at Seattle Grace decided to create and make people believe it.

"I can tell you know too" Addison rolls her eyes and looks to both of her sides, wondering if people is still staring or if they are family doing something they are determined to do. "I mean, you heard everyone knows, right?"

"I did. I'm sorry. Is it true though?" Callie asks, kinda amused. Addison doesn't say a word, she just looks at Callie with hopeful eyes, the obstetrician doesn't wanna talk about it, she doesn't want to think about it even... It made her feel less of a woman, sometimes. Callie looks into Addison's glassy eyes and notices it's not the best question right now. "Oh, I- I get it. It's okay."

"Yeah.. I'm not proud. I regret it everyday, literally. I see my own daughter and sometimes I think, 'What if i had kept Mark's kid?'" Addison confesses, letting her hands rest on her pockets, still chatting with the latina in the middle of the general wing.

"I'm so sorry, wish I could know who started this crappy cruel gossip, buy you never know here." Callie says, letting one of her hands go to Addison's upper arm, to give it a little squeeze to show her friend some support. She deserved the support. Callie smiles at Addison, it's a little grin actually, something added to the arm squeeze.

"True. Thank you, Callie." Addison thanks Callie. That woman knew how to treat people right, maybe that was why Addison liked her so much as a great friend.

The day goes by horribly spent most of her day dealing with moody pregnant women and some young teenagers patients that came for a check up, which was boring for Addison and terrifying for the young women. Derek was busy but worried about Addison, he was sorry he couldn't go visit her between surgeries but it was a busy day for him and his team. She felt like she was useless for the whole day, she even offered on helping Rutherford with her paperwork, but she was already done. She was quite a good departmental chief and she was a great doctor. They finally find some tie to be together, having lunch together and sharing a bit about their days could maybe cheer up them both mutually. During lunch Derek could see some sorrow and distraction within Addison, she was quiet and seemed like she was tired. He was also tired, craniotomies could be rough too.

"Is everything alright?" Derek asks Addison, biting his apple. Addison grinned at him and sighed. "You miss Bella, don't you?" Addison gives him a look.

"I do. I miss her. I'm having a bad day, Derek. The whole hospital looks at me like I'm some kind of whore that got lost from the strip club." Addison says, moving her fork into her salad. She's not even hungry enough. Derek grabs her hand and tries to make eye contact but she looks down and nods calmly.

He squeezes her hand a little. "I'm sorry, honey." She looks at him, still with her glassy eyes. "Do you want me to go pick her up? I'm sure Richard wouldn't mind you to have her inside of your office while you keep filling the paperwork. Am I right?" Derek grins in that McDreamy way. She smiles a bit more, accepting.

"It's okay." Addison lies. She wanted Derek to go home and pick up their little princess. "You don't have to do that."

"Addie, I can see you're not in your best moment. I can call the nanny, drive home, pick her up and come back. Bragging about how cute your daughter is might cheer you up."

"You win. But please, not now. In a moment, okay? I wanna enjoy lunch with you first." She smiles, a true smile.

She missed working. She missed the bloody disasters, challenging surgeries, stubborn patients, 911 pages. She missed all of that. But right now she wasn't getting any of what she wanted, except from meeting with colleagues she found kind and good people. She didn't miss the nurses gossiping about her behind her back, but she truly missed the feeling of being watched, it was like being welcomed home. That was like working on a hospital. After Meredith Grey saw her naked and the whole hospital talked about her abort, Addison didn't have anything else to lose. Derek missed her there, in the same working place as him. She could cheer him up after hard surgeries or rough days, with a smile she could make his day brighter. There was also the kissing in on-call rooms, which may be one of Derek's favorites things.

* * *

"Look who's here!" Derek says, entering Addison's office with the stroller that contained Bella. Addison turned around immediately and took her glasses off, walking quickly to take a peek of her daughter.

"Oh, hey!" She says happy. She takes her out of the stroller and holds her on her arms, kissing her tiny nose, hugging her gently to then being positioning her on her hip. "Daddy took you to visit me?" Addison asks cutely, looking down at the smiling baby. "How was she behaving?" She looks up to Derek.

"She was calm. When I got there she just had woke up from her nap and she was playing with Tarek's ears, again." Derek chuckles a little.

"You were playing with Tarek's ears again? You little goofball!" Addison says, tickling Bella, making her laugh in that cute way that made her parents look at her in awe. Isabella had a thing for playing with Tarek's ears, she was somehow not a scared baby about big animals, she was actually very attached and familiar to them, she loved playing with Tarek and caressing his ears instead of head or neck.

"She gets along with the nanny, too." Derek reports proudly.

"Good girl!" Addison smiles, proud her daughter was surviving not being with momma.

Richard Webber knocks on the door, staring at the cute scene happening. The three Shepherds look at the door, confused but still smiling. "You came to visit too, Richard?" Addison asks, in that lovely way.

"Kinda. I heard she was visiting, so I thought of coming to meet her!" Richard enters the office, smiling at the baby girl that was wearing a white blouse and light blue pants, accompanied by two white shoes that Kate's daughter used to wear when she was a baby. Derek left the diaper bag next to Addison's desk and stood in there for a minute.

"She's Isabella. Isabella, this is uncle Richard!" Addison says, still holding that tiny amount of joy on her hip. Isabella smiled, she was quite clever and charismatic like her parents.

Richard smiles at the tiny human, grabbing her tiny hand. "You two look exactly the same, it's unbelievable." Richard says amused.

"They do, a lot." Derek nods, agreeing with the chief. Addison smiled proudly at her little creation. _Their_ little creation.

"Family is worth living, definitely. Look at this sweetheart!" Richard says in awe at Isabella.

"Did someone called for Dr. Sweetheart?" Arizona Robbins enters, with her cute pony tail, she miles as soon as she sees the little girl.

"Arizona! Hi." Addison greets her, accommodating Bella on her hip.

"Heard you were back! Geez, look at this tiny human!" Arizona smiles. "Can I hold her?"

"Sure!" Addison says.

"Honey, I have to go back to check on some patients..." Derek says meanwhile his wife develops Isabella on Arizona's arms.

"Oh, okay. See you soon. Love you!" Addison smiles at him, seeing him leave the room, accompanied by Richard.

Isabella was incredibly calm on Arizona's arms. "She's so cute." Arizona says in awe, too. She pats the baby's back. "Does she speak yet?"

"No... yeah... I mean, she tries her best." Addison says, giggling at Bella's annoyed expression when she can't grab anything to bite.

"She has teeth! Look at that!" Arizona gives her her finger. She show so much excitement, is cute. Bella opens her mouth in a very exaggerated way, biting Arizona's finger with her tiny teeth.

"She likes biting. Just a warning." Addison says, smiling at her kid.

"I don't mind! Your co-worker is incredibly cute." Arizona kisses Isabella's forehead. Addison nods. Isabella was certainly an amazing company, even if she was quite annoying because she had problems calming down after crying, but she was cute and kind enough to let her mom know how much she loved her.


	30. Chapter 30

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 30_**

The next day, Addison wakes up wearing her flannel pajamas color light purple, kinda silk, she's feeling the touch and baby murmurs of her half sleeping daughter, who was in the middle of the bed, next to her chest, pouring her head in there, feeling comfortable and safe in there. She sighs, relieved knowing she's safe with her, smiling at her little girl.

Derek isn't in there, she wishes he could be there, being part of their matinal routine. She moves herself slowly, knowing she could wake the sleeping beauty; it's five am. Derek had a night shift that night and he was probably going to be home soon. She had to start waking up and take a shower, but her princess was asleep in there and she didn't want to move a centimeter.

The phone alarm started sounding and what she didn't want to happen, happened. Isabella opened her eyes widen and started crying at the annoying sound. "Oh, baby." Addison turns around to shut down the phone. She rolls back again and embraces the tiny human being. "Shhh, it's okay."

She hears the door of the room opening, reveling a very tired but handsome husband. "Good morning, girls." He says, showing a smirk to both of his girls. Bella calms down instantly and moves herself, she crawls out of the bed, moving to the edge of the bed, where Derek is expecting for her to show at. "Hello you!" Derek exclaimed in excitement because of seeing that little ray of sunshine. Bella giggles being taken into Derek's arms, Addison smiles at the cute scenery.

"Good morning." Addison replies to his early greeting. He looks at her with a smile on his lips, the best one he can show, night shifts could be rough.

"Hey." He says. "Addie, if you want to I can try to make her fall asleep again while you shower." He offers. Addison stands up from the bed. She walks towards him.

"Yes please." She pecks his lips. "After that get some sleep. You need it."

"Why? Do I look that dead?" He chuckles, making Bella chuckle with him too.

"No, but I know you're tired." Addison smirks, leaving him behind by walking away into the bathroom. "I'll go get a shower, take care of her!" She teases him, Addison winks, standing in the doorway of their master bathroom.

"I will." Derek nods, exiting the room with the half asleep baby. She's thankful her husband collaborates with her even if he's dying of tiredness.

* * *

_Seven years ago..._

"Imagine!" Addison laughs, grabbing Derek's hand into hers. Laughing at the childhood tape of Addison and Archer. It was something old they found in a box and decided of watching just for fun.

"You were cute!" Derek says, next to Addison's ear, being kinda seductive but also goofy. She rolls her eyes playfully and keeps pushing herself closer to his chest.

"I was annoying as hell! Once I drew flowers all over Archer's face while he was asleep." She chuckles, enjoying the feeling of his arms around her. She belonged into his arms.

"Oh my God, why did you do that?!" Derek tickles her, making her laugh. She looks up and pecks his lips quickly.

She sighs, "I was bored, and much more manipulative and stubborn." That's Her explanation.

"You still are all those things!" He teases her.

"Derek, Shut up!" She teases back.

"And you're still are cute though." He says, kissing her temple.

_Back to reality..._

* * *

"I'm still cute, though." Addison teases Derek after he got kinda grumpy because she drunk the last sips of the orange juice. He decided to join her for breakfast. Tarek sits on Addison's chair while she's still walking around the table.

"You are, yes, but you also drank the orange juice." He says, rolling his eyes, moving his chair so he could take a seat in there. Addison pretended like she didn't hear any of what he said. She keeps on preparing her daily dosis of coffee.

"I am sorry for breaking your orange juice diet, my mistake. I'll get you more after work."

"No, I'll go grocery shopping after getting some sleep. Bella and I have to bond, she's been too attached to you lately."

"Fine. You win. Maybe you can take her to the lake, teach Tarek some tricks... you know how much she loves the woods."

"She's just like me." Derek says proudly.

"An adventurous little girl." Addison grins, "Tarek, no." The dog goes away, entering Bella's room, always protective over the sleeping child, she takes a seat herself, with her cup coffee on her hand.

"At least she has your sense of fashion, but sadly she has your stubbornness." Derek teases her again.

"I am not stubborn." Addison glances at Derek with a hateful look.

"There's the denying. Stubborn people always say that."

"You are stubborn too." She points out.

"Not as much as you and Isabella." He chuckles.

"She's moody like her dad, not stubborn like her mom." Addison explains.

"Then you agree that you are stubborn?" Derek laughs.

"You're being annoying, Derek. Don't piss off your wife when it's morning. Specially when she doesn't have orange juice."

"Blame yourself." Derek says.

"Drop it." Addison says, dramatically.

"I love how we argue about orange juice." Derek says, taking a sip of water.

"We are arguing about you saying I'm stubborn." Addison replies.

"No, we were talking about Isabella being just like me." Derek says.

"Adventurous and moody?" Addison teases.

"Stop doing that." Derek asks.

"What?" Addison looks down to her plate full of fruit.

"Playing with me, using my words against me, that's what I do." Derek says, making her look up to him with a smirk.

"Just shut up and eat." She says. Derek smiles at her weakly, tired after so much hours of working, he goes back on eating and gives Addison cute looks that make her feel magic all over her body. Is there any chance she can skip work and just curl next to her handsome husband? Sadly, there is not. She has surgeries today! Exciting ones.

She takes her car with her, her red car. She loves it. It reminds her of her young years of partying, it reminds her of the first days of med school. The coffee and chanel smell it has reminds her of her and Naomi driving their first days as residents. Good memories. Her's and Derek's fourth date. Speacially that date.

* * *

_Fourteen years ago..._

It was spring and they were still kids, living reckless and independent lives. At least, that was Addison. She barely communicated with her family, she wasn't very into her whole family theme by then. Meanwhile Derek was a _'family guy'; _he had communication with his sisters and mother all the time, every festivity, every birthday or special date, he was there, they were there. Maybe that was one of the qualities Derek had that catched Addison's eye at first. Being able to love and respect his family, his education and caring way of being. She loved that. She loved that he loved being aware of his family's well being.

Derek's car was in the garage so Addison decided to pick him up, they said that she was going to be at nine pm in front of his door. But it was already nine thirty two pm. No one was there. Addison's phone wasn't being answered. Until it was almost ten and the red car parked in front of the building.

"Let's go?" Addison asks, yelling at Derek, opening the window so he could hear her. He rolled his eyes and got inside of the car anyways.

"Addison, what the hell? It's almost ten. I thought you were coming at nine." Derek says, checking the hour on his blackberry. "You didn't answer your phone, too."

"Sorry, but I had nothing to wear." She says, with a calm voice, closing the window of the car.

He rolls his eyes, girls could be too exaggerated. "I've seen your closet. It's giant." Derek says.

She sighs, reaching for his hand. "I'm sorry. Are you mad?" He grabs her hand.

They make eye contact. The car still in front of the building. "No, I'm just kinda... I don't know. I thought something could have happened to you. I considered on calling Naomi." She squeezes his hand, happy to hear he cared about her.

She smirks apologizingly at Derek, who smirks back,"God, I didn't know I was so late. I should have called but, then I couldn't find my phone either. It was in the middle of a pile of clothes." She makes Derek chuckle at that.

"Next time I'll go to your place, I'll ask Sam or Mark for their cars." Derek says, Addison nods and chuckles. He leans and kisses her, deeply. She replied by kissing him back, caressing his black hair.

She breaks the kiss, pulling him away slowly. "No, no. Before we go any further, I'm hungry. Let's have our date and we can continue this later." She laughs, making Derek smile. She was a funny woman that made Derek feel good and loved by someone who could dedicate to do it. He loved how she could be so open and fearless around him. She was spontaneous, goofy, smart, clever and talented.

_Back to the reality..._

* * *

Addison walks by the doors of Seattle Grace sighing, moving some hair on her face away, walking on her high heels towards the changing room. She had a c-section in a couple hours, which made her feel excited, she missed cutting and blood; surgery itself.

While Addison was at work, having to deal with judgemental looks and awkward moments, Derek was at home trying to catch some sleep. He slept for two hours to be awaken by his crying daughter. They haven't had cancelled the nanny, but Derek realized that after this he wasn't going to fall asleep again, so first thing he did after checking on the little girl, was calling the nanny and cancelling her from coming.

"Wanna go to the lake today, sweetie?" Derek asks Bella, who's next to him on his and Addison's bed. Cuddling with daddy was a perfect plan. The baby smiled at the word "_lake"_.

Tarek barks and gets inside of the room, Isabella giggles when he approaches her and smells her tiny hand. "We can bring Tarek with us, too." Derek says, caressing Tarek's fur, looking into the cute blue eyes his daughter had. Bella clapped her hands and smiled. "I will take that as a yes."

"Da" She says, cutely. Derek's eyes widen. She just said _da_, almost like _dada_.

"Bel, say that again?!" Derek says, grabbing her into his arms. She giggles. She opens her mouth, about to say something, but instead she laughs. "Say dada! Please." She tilts her head, confused on what he was saying, or maybe just playing with his heart like Addison would, too. He's a proud dad, his daughter was close to saying his name.

He feeds her with a bottle of Addison's milk. Bella was a weird kind of baby, for sure. She didn't like her milk to be warm, she preferred it cold or just coming from Addison's breast, otherwise she would vomit it or spill it all over the place. She gets ready for the day, Derek changes her clothes, her diaper, and gets her ready for a day at the woods.

* * *

She loved the woods. The birds singing, the wind moving her little amount of red hair, Tarek playing around her and the beautiful green trees that surrounded Derek's land.

They arrive there, the signal was pretty lame, but Addison's calls could be answered at least. "Hello?"

_"Hey, where are you? I hear the wind between- you're at your land?" _She asks at the phone. She knows him well. She just had finished a surgery, successful one.

"Yeah, I came with Tarek and Isabella. She missed this place. She said 'da' this morning." He shares with Addison, an excited voice on the phone, lighting up the mood. She wishes he could see the bright smile she's wearing at this instant.

"_Glad to hear that! Did you bring the sunscreen? I don't want her to burn her porcelain skin_." Addison says in awe, knowing her baby girl had a cute and smooth skin.

"Yes I did, we have everything we need. We already had lunch, though. She behaved well." Derek says, proudly. "You were calling to get a report and diagnose of our daughter's actual state, right?" Derek chuckles.

"_I actually called to ask how you were. I've been missing you today._" Addison admits, sighing. She leans against her comfortable chair at her office.

"Oh! That's very considerate of you." He says in a teasing tone.

She smiles but replies in an extrict tone anyway; "_Please don't start with the orange juice thing again._" She says, stopping him from keeping on bothering her because of something stupid.

"Okay. I will not." He agrees, sitting on the grass, with Bella on his hip, resting. She starts crawling around Derek. She loved the green grass. "How are you?"

"_I'm alright. Dealing with the looks, still._" She says, frankly, she wasn't having the best time, but she could deal with it. "_Saved two babies until now. Looking forward the third anytime soon._"

"You sound excited! I bet you missed operating and delivering human beings." Derek says. Bella stops from playing with Tarek's ears and crawls back to Derek's legs, trying to reach for the phone, showing glassy eyes. She misses her mom.

"_Yes, totally. I mean, I'm having fun, at least._" She says, with a chuckle. Derek stares at Bella and doesn't reply, catching the message from his daughter.

After a minute Derek reacts "Hey, um, I'm sorry. The thing is, well.. Bella wants to talk to you, too." He chuckles.

"_Turn the call into the speaker mode."_ Addison instructed her husband. He does what she says and grabs Bella, positioning her on his lap, next to the phone.

"Ready!"

"_Hello? Bella, it's mom!_" Addison says sweetly. Derek smiles. Bella tilts her head confused but smiles anyway. She does a cute baby noise. "_I miss you baby, how are you? How is she?_"

"She's alright, she enjoys the woods." Derek says, kissing Isabella's temple.

"Da." There it is again.

Addison is shocked. "_Oh God! She said it! Geez, her voice is so cute._" She could swear her uterus was having an attack of love and cuteness because of that baby girl.

"I know right!? It's amazing. I wish she could be obedient and say the whole word." Derek chuckles.

"_She's stubborn like her mother, isn't she?_" Addison teases, referring what they have told and discussed this morning at the table during breakfast.

"You admit it!" He teases her.

"_Okay, yeah, I admit it._" Addison says. She was stubborn. Derek pictures her rolling her blue greenish eyes, as she always does. "_I'll go buy the orange juice, okay? So you can give her a bath when I come home with your precious orange juice."_

"What If instead of that, you go home early, you give Bella a bath while I go shopping to the grocery store, and then you have a bath for yourself to welcome your handsome husband home." Derek says.

"_Derek, aren't you still in speaker mode? She can hear our horny teenager plans. We can't let her brain get harmed by our reckless plans._" Addison says, in a teasing voice, knowing their daughter couldn't understand the meaning of what they were saying, for sure.

"You're right." Derek says, smiling at the way his wife could make him feel so happy.

"_She has ears, you know. I don't want our daughter to forget about the word "dada" and end up saying something obscene._" Addison laughs. Derek laughs along. Bella frowns at her dad's blackberry, confused.

He strokes his little girl's cheek; "She looks confused, you confuse her." Derek chuckles.

"_Must be because I'm too stubborn, that's why._" Addison keeps teasing him. She will not stop it. She's probably gonna use that dumb argument to make herself laugh a bit and not feel so attacked by all the looks and gossip about her persona during her work shift.

"Yeah." He nods.

"_You're annoying._" She says on the phone, putting his red glasses on, opening a document.

"I've been told!" Derek says, nicely, keeping his tone light to his wife.

"_Anyway, I have some things to do. Whatever you need, call me._" Addison says.

"Okay. We'll call you later. Have a good day, honey." Derek says.

"_Thanks. Love you. Enjoy your day with our princess_." She smiles.

"_We _love you too. Enjoy your day too." He smiles. She ends the call, and he lifts his phone into his pocket, now focusing on the scenary of Tarek testing his head on Isabella's tiny foot and her two hands playing with his ears again. Somehow the Shepherd didn't show any signs of being bothered by the tiny human, she loved his ears.

* * *

It wasn't that late, it was six pm and Addison had just got home from work and the grocery store. She bought two boxes of orange juice. First thing she does is opening the door with her key, entering she perceived a weird smell. Horrible smell.

"Derek?" He yells out loud. She leaves her coat inside of the closet and kicks off her high heels that had been killing her feet. She makes a quick stop at the kitchen, leaving the two boxes of orange juice inside of the refrigerator. "Derek!" She calls him out again. She notices Derek's clothes in the floor, also Isabella's. What the hell happened.

"We're in here!" Derek yells from the bathroom. The master bathroom. She walks into her room, seeing that the bathroom door was half opened. "I bought two boxes of orange juice. What's that smell?" she gets in there, hesitating opening the door completely or not. But she does open it, revealing three dorks inside of there having a bath of tomatoes juice.

"I knew you won't like the idea of the three of us inside of here..." Derek says. Addison covers her mouth.

"Derek! What the hell!? How dare you put my daughter inside of a bath full of tomato juice with the company of our dog?!" She seems mad. Tarek shows himself apologizing, looking down. They are all covered into tomato juice and the room smells horrible.

"Hi sweetie." Derek says.

"Derek!" She snaps.

"I'm sorry. In our defense, we got attacked." Derek says. Washing Bella's arm with more juice.

"A skunk?" Addison says, sighing. "I would have bought you tomate juice instead of orange juice."

"Yeah. It was a skunk. We got skunked." Derek explains. Bella has a weird expression of her face, maybe disgust because of the smell. "Sorry."

"Hey, I don't blame you. But, for God's sake, Derek. Be careful. Specially when you take our daughter to places like this." Addison says, expressing her grumpiness.

"I know." Derek nods.

"I'm not going to help you both on getting cleaned up. You've got this." She points at Derek with a finger, her other hand on her hip. "I'm gonna go get showered in Isabella's bathroom and I'll sleep in the guests room if it's necessary." Addison says, leaving the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Addison could be stubborn and get mad easily. The bathroom door opens again. "I'm taking her with me." Addison takes her out of the bath and wraps her on Derek's shower towel, taking her own with her. "My towel too, because I don't want any more interns seeing me naked." Addison says, leaving the bathroom with the showered in tomato kid.

This short episode with the whole skunk incident her husband and baby were involved in reminds her that she never had to deal with anything like this before. She never had to deal with the horrible smell and the tomato juice. It was something that could have never happened to her because she was a Forbes Montgomery. Bizzy couldn't let her kids get near savage beasts.

Addison gives Isabella a bath, with warm water and lots of bubbles. During her bath, Addison heard her daughter say "Da." In that cute way she does. She washes her little amount of hair, dries her and prepares her to get some sleep. She's later feed properly by Addison.

Carrying the sleeping baby on her arms, seeing how her tender blue eyes closed slowly to finally reach profound sleep, Addison hears Tarek's paws and knows that the dog is on his way to protect the ocean eyes baby. The door opens, revealing her two boys standing in there. Derek wearing a robe, still with wet hair. Tarek seems like he also got his bath, and he was half dry.

"Addie..." Derek starts talking.

"Shh, be quiet." Addison snaps at him, leaving Bella on her crib, covering her with the covers. Addison turns around and exits the room, not making eye contact with Derek. He feels sorry, he really does. He leaves the door of his daughter's room half opened, knowing the dog was in there and he couldn't leave him inside like a trapped animal. Derek follows Addison into the kitchen.

Derek watches his wife looking through cabinets "What are you doing?" He asks, still observing her movements.

She sighs. "Looking for some kind of smell that could help to take that horrible skunk perfume from the apartment." She replies, sounding angry and grumpy. She still keeps on not making contact with her husband.

Derek walks a few steps near his wife. "Addie, I know you are mad." Derek says, he knew her and she was mad. She looks up to him, giving him a death glare, she comes back on looking through cabinets, shaking her head in denial. _Stubborn_.

"No, don't worry. I'm not mad. I am upset. Incredibly upset." She finally answers.

Derek sighs, "Still. I'm sorry."

Addison acts like she didn't hear anything, "Oh, look. Lavender. Let's pray this will take that horrible smell off of our apartment." She says, taking the can and walking out of the kitchen. Derek wants to stop her by grabbing her hand or arm, but he knows that she would feel even worse.

"Addison!" He calls out, standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

Addison turns around. "What?" She snaps.

Derek looks concerned at her, "I don't know, you tell me what's going on in your head that you keep ignoring me." Derek says, in a half sad half strong tone.

"You took her to the woods..." Addison starts explaining.

"As you suggested." He points out immediately.

"That's not the point!" She snaps. "The point is that I expected to come home and find my beautiful sleeping daughter and my handsome husband in their respectives rooms, not covered in tomato juice with the company of our pet in there, Derek. I got scared! I'm maternal. Okay?" She says, still holding the can of lavender smell.

"Addie..." Derek feels sorry.

Addison runs a hand through her red hair and looks at Derek, "No. Let me finish. You know what? I'm sad." She says spontaneously. "I'm sad she says your name and she doesn't say mine." Derek eyes widen. "Because you're always the hero. Surprisingly, I'm always the cheater, the bad guy. I feel horrible." She says, with emotion on her voice.

"Addison!" He shuts her up.

"What the hell do you want from me?!" Addison explodes.

"She loves you! Our daughter loves you." Derek says, opening her eyes so she could stop complaining. "She has spent most of her life with you. She doesn't want to leave from your lap and when she does she puts that cute but sad smile on her face that we both know it can break hearts." Addison's upset face turns into a sad and stressed one. "She adores you! I don't have that kind of bond with her. At least not yet. Why do you feel bad?"

"You're screaming too much. Don't yell at me." Addison walks to the living room, not wanting to keep discussing this.

He follows her, "Are we seriously going to fight because of this? It was an accident, Addison. I went inside of the trailer holding Bella and a skunk was in there, hiding under a box. We got skunked, we had to come home and we had to shower with tomatoes." He says.

"Thank God it wasn't my car." She points out, not making eye contact, filling the room with lavender smell.

Derek sighs, hating himself from hiding this from Addison, "She said it. If that makes you feel better."

"Say what?" She looks at him now, making eye contact.

Derek smirks a little, "She said your name. Well, tried to. I trained her to." Derek explains. There's silence, after all those screams.

"Ma." A tiny voice says, coming from Bella's room. "Da." The baby calls out again.

Addison smiles a bit. "She's awake." Addison says, leaving the lavender can on the table, walking to her daughter's bedroom. Derek sits on the couch, waiting for Addison to come back.

After some minutes Addison is back, holding Bella on her arms, she's awake because of their yelling.

Addison sits on the couch next to her husband. "I'm sorry I acted all drama queen. I'm just tired." Addison says. He nods and kisses her forehead, pulling her closer to his body, Isabella looking up to her parents. "Mama." Addison looks down to Bella.

"Did she just..?" Derek looks down, wrapping an arm around Addison.

"She did." Addison says, proud. She approaches her daughter to her to kiss her forehead. "Good girl." Addison's voice contains emotion. She tries not to cry.

"Mama!" Bella screams with a laugh and a cute tiny smile.

"I'm sorry. You married a stubborn woman, Der." Addison says, recognizing her stubbornness. Derek caresses her red hair and moves her chin so he could be able to kiss her lips.


	31. Chapter 31

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 31_**

**_— THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND REVIEWS! And omg, luvvaddek commented!!! (One of my fave Addek writers) So happy you are reading :) _**

The day had some sort of annoying vibe that morning. Addison walks inside of the hospital next to Derek, he was with both hands on Isabella's stroller, where Bella was asleep. It was early and they decided to start taking their baby to the hospital daycare.

They kept walking through the corridor to the hospital daycare, Addison checking some documents on her hands, she was stressed and busy. Completely busy.

"I'll need you for a consult at eleven if you're free. I already checked your schedule, by the way. You probably will have time after Charles Carrington craniotomy. You can find me at the wing of general by then." Addison asks. She sounds polite. Even professional, like she's not talking to the love of her life or something like it.

He can sense the insensitive voice on his wife. He nods, kindly. "Oh, okay. What is it? And, why are you going to be around the general wing? You work in neonatal." He asks, curious.

She shakes her head and keeps walking, she gives him a look and sighs. "I know I work in neonatal, Derek." She replies after a silent moment. "I will attend on a surgery with Bailey and Webber and I will go out of surgery exactly ten minutes after you get out of your craniotomy." She says, opening another document, fighting on seen much more better, knowing she had some visual issues, that's why she needed her glasses.

He looks at the documents, but can't see that much from such distance. "And what about your patient? Why do you need me there?" He asks. He wasn't going to waste his time in some useless case for him.

Addison brushes some hair out of her face. The sound of her high heels were so familiar to Derek's ears, also for Isabella's; the sleeping baby kept sleeping even if the sound of Addison's heels could be loud. "It's Haley Marshall, the one from—''

Derek cuts her off. He knows the patient. He actually helped in the ER that morning when she got admitted, but then she was sent to neonatal immediately, because she was five months pregnant. "The one from the library accident. I know." He fights a laugh.

For Derek it was kinda funny, even dumb. But it was possible. Stupid and terrible things like this could happen to anyone. A little kid threw a book at the woman's head making her pass away.

Addison breathes heavily for a moment, she's stressed. Getting back on track was making her incredibly exhausted, "Yeah, her. I think she may have some kind of thing."

Derek frowns at her and immediately looks back to the corridor, concentrated on _driving _the stroller. "What do you mean? Have you checked her brain yet?" He says, with a charming smile. She obviously checked the scans and he liked pissing off Addison.

She doesn't get that he tried to tease her. Instead she replies professionally: "That's the thing. I checked the scans. They are clear." She says.

"And you suggest this is...?" Derek knows Addison isn't a brain surgeon or an specialist on his area, which is why he finds dumb that she keeps on thinking Haley might have something else.

"Maybe some kind of Katie Bryce case." Oh, she had a point.

He looks a little shook. "How do you know about that case?" He asks, knowing it was his and Meredith's case. It was a... a _'merder'_ kinda thing.

She chuckles, with a long sigh. "Burke told me a lot about you and the intern back when I was new here. It doesn't matter, the thing is, I need you for that consult." His wife says. He can feel his heart break a little in a way. It's like he feels like a bad man.

"I didn't know he did told you all about that, sorry." He apologizes again. Even if it feels like his affair with Meredith happened ages ago, he still feels sorry. Come on, he made Addison be in a living hell. Thinking she 'deserved it'.

She smiles a little, posing a hand on his shoulder. They stop walking. They are in front of the hospital daycare. "It's okay. It's past." She squeezes his shoulder and moves to go and take their daughter out of her stroller.

"Be careful on waking her up. She gets grumpy." Derek chuckled a little.

They leave Isabella at the hospital daycare. Addison had a rough time by leaving here inside of there by herself. Bella cried for being hold into her mama's arms again, she wanted to be hold by Addison and not letting her go.

After Addison left the first, she started begging her Dada to help her to get free from that place. Somehow both Shepherds were able on fighting the difficulty and leaving the hospital daycare for good.

Their shifts were starting in only minutes and they had busy days to overcome.

Derek followed his wife's instructions on meeting her at the general wing after his craniotomy with Carrington. He thought she wasn't going to find her chatting with Mark. She seemed excited, happy, enjoying. He noticed she was wearing a bun now, earlier she had her hair free.

"You wanted me here, I'm here." Derek says, interrupting Mark's and Addison's conversation. "Sorry, am I bothering?"

"No, not at all. Mark was telling me about his new case. Wanna know who's here?"

Derek thinks for just a second on some line to piss off his friend AKA the man who his wife cheated with. "Who? Angelina Jolie? If it's her, she's married." There it was.

"It is not her." Addison says.

Mark smirks, "Better." He says, sounding serious.

"Courtney Cox!" Addison says speechless. Addison loved watching friends with Derek since a long time ago.

Addison smiles at Derek's shook expression. "No way." He says.

"Yes way." Mark says, showing that predator smile.

Derek smiles at his best friend and looks at him mischievous. "If you get laid with her, don't forget any details when you tell me how was it." He points at Mark with his finger.

Addison laughs and looks at Derek. "She congratulated me because of my breasts." Mark laughs.

Derek looks confused at his wife. "I do that too, all the time. But you don't seem to be as excited as you are now."

"Derek!" She hits his arm playfully.

"Hope you don't mind I used your wife as a human demonstration of what I could do with Courtney. Don't worry, she was fully dressed the whole time." Mark explains.

"You can make Courtney lactate?" Derek jokes. Addison rolls her eyes.

"Too funny." She's moody. Not in the mood for any jokes that can make her feel annoyed. "Anyway, Haley is waiting for us."

"Good." Derek says, following the redhead. Addison ignores that her husband said something and keeps walking until getting inside of the room.

Addison sighs. _Why is she sighing?_ Derek wonders.

She starts talking... "Hi Haley, this is—"

Addison gets cut off by her very own patient, "Doctor Shepherd! Good to see you." Haley says, smiling. She had some bandages on her head because of the dumb accident she suffered.

Derek smiles. "Hi Haley. Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd asked me to give you a checkup just in case!" He says, cheerful.

His morning was going good, even if he had to admit that his wife was being incredibly bitchy and he didn't know why so much hate at the universe coming from her.

Addison nods at Derek. "Yeah. Um, Derek..." She starts talking, making Derek pay attention to her. "...while you do that, I'll go do something else I gotta do. It will not take long." She says, giving Haley a look with her best smile, but it fades away easily.

"Sure. You go, I'll stay." He says, adding a spontaneous smile. But Addison doesn't smile back, she just leaves the room in her high heels. Making them sound even harder than this morning.

Haley coughs. "Not wanting to sound rude, but she seems... weird today." The young woman says, rubbing her stomach.

Derek nods and sits on the edge of the bed. "Yeah. I don't know what's up with her."

"She hasn't mentioned anything about you besides how good you're in bed. Just in case." The patient informs.

Derek is... shook. "Did She tell you that?" His eyes widen.

Haley brushes some hair out of her face. "No! Of course not." She giggles. "That would have been weird. This conversation got weird." She looks down. "She- she mentioned it to another doctor yesterday, while she walked around here." She looks into Shepherd's eyes with an awkward smile.

"I see." Derek chuckles. His mind immediately started thinking who would have been next to her like sharing that. Any trauma surgeons that Addison had friendship with? There was Richard, but why would Addison tell something like that to him. There was Miranda, but... that conversation could be awkward for Addison actually.

Addison's patient was in trauma because of the books that hit her body that day. Derek feels bad himself for laughing, but come on, kids could be that cruel on throwing her books?

There was a nervous tic, or that was what Addison described. Derek found no indication of tumor or any bleeding on the brain, the scans were clear, even if they were done three times just to make Addison and Derek sure about it.

He gets out of the room after checking the woman and giving her a polite goodbye. Addison is coming back. She sighs. _She sighed again._

She stops herself in front of Derek, letting her two hands on her hips. "Hey, so... did you find anything?" She asks.

Derek looks into her no emotion kinda greenish eyes, "I think it might be some nervous tic as you mentioned, maybe it's something psychological." Derek says. She rolls her eyes. She was acting so weird. "Call a shrink, this is not my place. The scans are clear, her reactions to the exams are alright. She's sane." He diagnoses.

She sighs. (Again.) "Derek! You don't understand me. Do you? I asked you to check her, part of her is her baby." Derek gives her a strange look. That's weird. That sounds weird. Even, odd. "I think she might be having the nervous tic because of something her baby might be suffering. Come on, when Isabella kicked me I used to kick you. Mother and child are connected." Derek chuckles a bit at that memory. There's a few moments of silence.

Now he's the one who sighs. "Impossible. You would have found something. You're a great OB." He says. God, he's not wrong!

She looks away, brushes some hair out of her face. "I... i know that." She looks back into his blue eyes.

Derek looks worried. Caring. "Then what's wrong with you? What's going on?"

She sighs. "Nothing. Maybe it's fine. Maybe she's alright and I'm just... never mind. Thank you for your time, Doctor Shepherd." She says, professionally. She starts walking away, but Derek catches her arm before she can go much further from there. He looks around in case he's making such scene, which he isn't.

"Hey, Hey. What's wrong?" He asks. She looks back to him and stands properly in front of him.

"Nothing." She closes her arms around her chest. The look Derek gives her makes her feel stupid. "Do you want me to call a shrink for me too?"

"Addison" he rolls his eyes this time.

She looks into his eyes. She doesn't show any emotion. "What is it?"

"I don't know, you tell me. You're so-" Derek tries to find his words.

"What?" She sounds annoyed now.

He looks into those blue greenish eyes and feels pity because he doesn't know what's wrong with her. "Overwhelmed." He replies, softly.

"I'm alright." She says, now letting her hands go inside of her pockets. "Anyway, thanks for coming." She repeats. "Now go back to your wing, you have a surgery in two hours."

"Addie, talk to me." Derek poses his hand on her upper arm and caresses it a bit. She feels uncomfortable.

"Can we talk later? At home, maybe? Or after lunch, just... not now." Her voice sounds so pessimistic "You gotta go prep your patient for surgery and you need to go check on Carrington in case he has woken up." She's bossy, almost like she's the chief and people gotta act like she says. "I gotta go check on my own patients too." She adds.

Addison gives him a long reply and goes away, not even saying goodbye. He's worried, but he walks away too, knowing she will not open up that easily. Addison could be very stubborn. Well, she was very stubborn.

Mama bear to the rescue. She needed some time off of work, and it was time to and check on her daughter. For her surprise, her princess wasn't as lonely as she could've been.

"Hey!" Arizona greets Addison, who just got inside of the hospital daycare. Maybe she was there because she worked in pediatrics, or maybe she was bored. Either way, Addison didn't care.

"Hey." Addison greets back.

The baby smiles. "Mama!" Bella says, in excitement of seeing her mother. Addison takes her baby girl away from Arizona's arms.

Addison smiles the best she can. "Hi you." Addison says, getting her closer to her face, skimming her nose with hers. "What are you doing here?" Addison asks curious, focusing on the smiling Arizona Robbins. She lets Isabella rest on her hip.

She keeps on smiling, and with that cute tone she talks with she replied: "Well, I've had a rough day, so I decided to come here and I noticed she was falling asleep because of Sydney Heron." Arizona laughed softly. "So, I figured a way to make her leave and I stood in here for a while."

"I've had a rough day too." Addison says, now looking back into her daughter's eyes. Bella wanted to touch Addison's hair but the bun she was wearing, left the kid with not many choices.

"Mama." Bella tries to reach the bun with her hand. Addison laughs at the cuteness her daughter was.

"You two get really along!" Arizona says, with her typical cheeky smile that's completely contagious.

Addison kisses Isabella's cheek. "They say redheads get along with other redheads." She strokes the cute red brownish hair Bella has.

The pediatrics surgeon nods, "Must be that." Arizona chuckles. Addison smiles at that. Bella was playing with Addison's hand now, she left behind the idea of breaking her bun, now she was trying to take her rings out, which was impossible, because the rings were almost stuck in her fingers, but somehow there was always a way too take them out before a surgery. "The day just started and I'm already exhausted." Arizona says, sincerely, watching Isabella.

"Me too." Addison doesn't take her eyes off of her daughter, but sighs in defeat. She's tired too, kinda low battery.

Arizona takes a deep breath and goes back on being so positive herself. "Did you know Courtney Cox is in the hospital?"

"Yeah! Mark Sloan is treating her" Addison nods.

"For real?" Arizona laughs. Addison nods again, taking a deep breath. "Anyway, I gotta go check on other tiny humans who also need my help. Bye Bella!" Arizona says, adding a gesture with the hand. Isabella tries her best on imitating her but fails in a cute way.

"Goodbye, Robbins." Addison gives her goodbyes. The blonde woman exits the hospital daycare on her rollers.

Addison has been inside of there with Isabella enough time to notice how dark she was feeling. That kind of dark that not even her child could help to get off. She leaves the daycare, obviously making sure someone checks on her daughter before she leaves. She was being paged, probably some woman decided to give birth in this exact moment.

"What is it?" Addison says, getting into her area.

"Nothing important." Nicole Herman says.

"It is important." Rutherford says.

"Everyone from OB and Neonatal is here, seems important." Addison says, adjusting her messed up bun.

"It's not important." Robert Sparks says, another neonatal surgeon. Of course he wasn't as good as Addison.

"Why the hell am I being paged 911 still?" Nicole says, annoyed.

"Maybe a newborn?" Sparks asks.

"Everyone is alright, guys. I think we're here because the chief wants us to hear him about something." Hillary Hills adds. She's quiet, but well respected in the neonatal area.

"Attention, please." Richard Webber enters the room.

* * *

Addison went out of work first, as regular. It was her time to take Isabella home, give her a bath, feed her, put her to sleep and then she would take a shower for herself, eat if she felt hungry, and go to sleep.

Derek had a long day shift, and was leaving the hospital around two AM that night. He didn't want Addison to wait for him that night, or any other night. She deserved to sleep as many hours as she could.

Instead of finding his wife asleep, he found the whole house without any light, but the master bathroom light. He turns the light of his room on, walks through the small corridor and finds her. She's inside of the bath, bubbles covering her body. He enters, quietly.

"I thought you were asleep. Addison, what's this?" Derek asks, finding a bottle of wine on the floor, next to the bath. Addison's hand is busy with a glass full of homemade martini.

"Bella is asleep, there's no more vodka in case you want a martini too." Addison says. She's clearly drunk and has been inside of that bath for hours. Her skin getting in that weird way when it gets wet for too much time.

He looks worried, she doesn't even move. "Addie... how- What's- talk to me." He doesn't find the right words.

"I'm in the bath. You don't want me to... argue with you in here. Do you?" She laughs sarcastically, closing her eyes for a minute.

He takes the martini glass out of her hand. "You literally drunk all the alcohol of the house. You know you'll wake up hangover." Derek says, acting like the adult here.

He leaves the glass next to the sink. Sometimes it was difficult for them both, knowing the other could fail and they were not only both, but three on the same row.

She sighs. Derek could swear he will suffer a panic attack if he hears her sigh again. "You sound worse than my mother." She rolls her eyes. Addison starts standing up, Derek runs towards her to help her get out. She was drunk and he was afraid she could hurt herself.

"Be careful." Derek says, holding her by the arms, grabbing the towel with his right hand. He wraps Addison in the towel, turns the light off and carries her to the master bedroom.

He leaves her slowly on the bed, developing her intoxicated and tired body. "You're too good to me. Stop it. I feel bad. I don't need anyone to take care of me." Addison says, stubborn. She was drunk and Derek couldn't expect that much coming from her.

"Let's get you into your pajamas, okay?" Derek says gently, stroking her cheek. She doesn't respond. He goes into his closet and changes his clothes, after that he looks for a pair of Addison's pajamas. When he comes out of the closet, Addison has had already left the towel behind and she was hiding naked under the covers.

They both look at each other in the eye. "I'm drunk." She says after some seconds of awkwardness and silence.

"Wanna tell me why you were drinking?" He leaves her pajamas on a chair, now they were useless. He turns the lights off of the corridor to the bathroom and closet.

"Not really." She says, still wearing that messy bun. "But i have to anyway. Am I right?"

His mind is faster than his mouth, before agreeing, he sees what's really going on. A 'never mind' kinda vibration on his thoughts. He will not as for it yet, she's not in the best state to testify, or even deal with whatever made her so upset and moody.

"We can talk about it tomorrow, there's no need now." There was need now. "You need to catch some sleep." He says, gently.

Derek can't deny he's disappointed because of all of this. Addison was an adult, a mother now; he wasn't the most responsible father either, but at least some help coming from Addison could help. Sometimes he thinks maybe she hasn't changed yet, maybe she's still _a closed door._

He cares.

"No. That's a lie! I'm a grown up. I'm not little Addie anymore. I can tell you my issues." She says, laying her head on Derek's shoulder.

"Addison..."

"Sorry for being an alcoholic woman, sorry for being a cheater, an irresponsible mom, and an annoying wife." She says, dorky.

"Don't apologize. Addison, you need to sleep." Derek insists.

"No. I know you're pissed. Sorry." She takes a deep breath and starts laughing. "Why am I a doctor? I should work at a car washer." She laughs.

"That's nonsense." He chuckles a little. "Tomorrow you have a long shift. You need to rest." He keeps on insisting.

"Tomorrow morning I will not even be able to show my face to Vivian and I'll be hiding around so no one can notice how hangover I am." She keeps laughing.

"Vivian?" Derek is curious about this. He heard that the OB department had a visitor, which probably his wife didn't know yet considering she was _'new'_ now.

"Oh yeah, I didn't tell you that yet." She says.

He looks at her with concerned eyes. She's been drinking too much. She's been hiding things and he knows it. All he doesn't want is a fight, but he's afraid they might have to argue. "You're too drunk. Sleep. Okay?" She nods slightly.

"Derek... you... I... don't let me go." She says. Getting sleepy. She curls up next to him, closer. "No goodnight kiss?" She's flirty, one of the most hilarious parts of Addison being drunk. Derek leaned closer and pecked her lips twice. She lets herself get comfortable in there. She closes her eyes and goes to sleep, silent.

* * *

"Good morning." Derek wakes Addison up, with a glass of orange juice on his hand. She opens her eyes slowly, her head is pounding. Hell.

He smiles at her charmingly, but she can't concentrate on that now. "Crap." That's all her mouth manages to say. With a hand on her forehead, she pushes herself into a sitting position, grabbing the covers to cover her naked body.

"You're hangover. Aren't you?" He tries to hold a chuckle. She's cute.

"That, but way worse." She says. "Why am I...? Did we...? What happened to me." She says dramatically. For a moment Derek forgets about the fact he's disappointed of her for not acting spontaneously and didn't tell him anything about what was going on with her.

"You came home from work, got drunk in the bath and then fell asleep on my shoulder." Derek explains the whole panorama.

She takes a sip of her juice. "Oh God. I am so sorry." She apologizes, being sorry for real. Now remembering a bit about it.

He sighs in defeat, not wanting to start asking for the facts and the lies. He sits on the edge of the bed, looking at her. "It's alright. You might have a great reason for all of that." He says. Derek is obviously expecting a long answer and he knows these kind of discussions never end perfectly.

She swallows the last sips of juice. "I- I promise I'll tell you all about it." She says sincerely, leaving the glass on the nightstand.

He grabs her hand. "I told Webber you were going to be a little late. We have time now." He smiles a bit.

She looks at him worried, squeezing his hand gently. She also knows this might end ugly. "Derek... are you sure you wanna talk about it now?"

"I am. Just, split it." He's spontaneous.

"I've been upset, and I'm sorry I pissed you off yesterday. I have been acting bitchy... I mean, being a bitch." She corrects herself.

He runs a hand through his hair and looks into her eyes, serious. "That's not the point, I believe."

"Bizzy contacted me." She finally splits it out.

Derek's eyes widened. "She called you?"

Addison changes her expression into an annoyed one in question of seconds. "No, no, of course she didn't call me. She can't do that. She doesn't have the decency to dial my number as another human being living in this century. She sent an email."

"Keep talking..." he encourages.

"She invited us to the New York house. She wants us to literally go to the Forbes manor and act like we don't have family issues and enjoy Easter holidays with her."

"We're going to my mother's for Easter..." Derek says.

"I know. That's why I haven't replied to Bizzy's email."

"Hey, I'm sorry that upsets you. But, maybe you should consider it." He smiles a bit.

She opens her mouth, in amusement. "You're kidding."

"It would be good for Isabella to meet her other grandmother." That was true, Addison couldn't deny that. But still, it wasn't something the redhead was up for.

Addison shakes her head. "Don't say- no. I can't do that." Her hand unfolds from his. "What if this is my mother's brain again? Maybe her radiation is making her brain sick and she turned insane, which might be why she invited us there." She says, annoyed, bitchy, fatigued like the day before.

"Addison, take this serious!" Derek says, raising a little the voice.

She sighs. Oh yeah, she sighed. "I am taking it serious. Why do you wanna go? You don't even like my family. I don't like my family." She says.

"It's healthy. Your mom is trying to change." Derek points out. Brain surgery could change people's psychological way of being.

Addison rolls her eyes at the word '_mom_'."Call her Bizzy. Or Beatrice. Yeah, Beatrice is better."

"Addison..." he's stressed. He wants to keep talking. _There's no chance to talk with you like an adult._

She looks away, frustrated. Tired of the theme."This is why I don't want to talk about it!" She says simply. "I'll just ignore her damn email and I'll open it around our anniversary and be like_ 'wow I never saw this before! Take care of your granddaughter during my anniversary? Thanks.'_" Derek holds a chuckle.

"Addie, you sound cruel." He replies. He sounds nice, kind.

She takes a deep breath. "I am already hangover, Derek. I don't think I want a migraine because of an argument too." She says, standing up from the bed, walking naked through the apartment to get inside of the bathroom. She needed a warm shower.

**_Review? I think I'll leave this fanfic until reaching the 50 chapters... idk!_**


	32. Chapter 32

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 32_**

Derek breathes, putting his scrubs back on. "I'm surprised we never get caught." He chuckles a little, adjusting his scrubs.

She says, putting her heels on. "I'm surprised this kinda cured my hangover." She chuckles also. "And It helped filling my sexual void."

"Sexual void? You have a sexual void?" Derek asks, raising an eyebrow, almost like he heard a really good joke and he didn't understand it.

"I _had_ a sexual void. Dammit, where are my panties?" Addison says, looking around. Derek gives them to her.

"So... sexual void?" He watched her putting her underwear on, as fast as she could.

"Come on, we haven't get laid in three days." She says, adjusting her skirt. Sex in on-call rooms wasn't as professional as it should be. Derek approaches her and kisses her passionately, almost more passionate as their sweaty kisses during a 'quickie'.

"Hey, I'm already late for a meeting. Don't make me loose any more time." Addison says, moving her neck to the side, allowing him to kiss her neck even if she had to go.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes, ending the kissing.

"I liked that." She teases.

"You said you have a meeting." He looks at her flirtatiously.

"Yeah but I didn't say I didn't like how that felt like." She says, now she adjusts her hair. They both get out of the on call room quickly, no one really realizes, the hospital is busy today, a lot of people walking through the surgical area.

"Hey, have you seen Carlsmith yet?" Addison asks curious, walking quickly next to her husband.

Vivian Carlsmith had been her mentor years ago and haven't seen her in a long time. Addison was excited about reuniting with her again, giving her a warm hug and fill her up with all her life issues so the redhead could be filled of advices.

"No, I haven't. You haven't told me why she's here yet."

Addison wishes Richard didn't tell Vivian any of what happened between her and Derek. She wishes Vivian could not have idea of what happened, which is why she prays Richard didn't tell her the whole story. She would appreciate the gesture of mentioning Isabella, but nothing else. Not the cheating. At least not the MM thing...

MM was a code Addison and Derek invited during celebrating New Years, MM for Mark and Meredith.

"She has an amazing case. A case I could have covered but I was in my maternity leave so I never knew about it until yesterday. She might appear when she wants to, she has her own schedule."

"True. Maybe you'll see her in your meeting?"

She inhales sharply, "No. The meeting is about discussing if I'm getting back on my position or I'm screwed and Rutherford took my spot. Talking about that, I need to go. I'm supposed to be at the Chief's office in five more minutes." Addison says, patting his shoulder. "See you after your surgery, I wanna hear more about that benign tumor." She winks at him. He nods and smiles at her, charming. She leaves him in there, she walks away in her high heels, making them click against the ground.

Rutherford was a good friend, a good OB/GYN, that was why Addison hoped Webber wasn't giving her Addison's job, considering this way, the redhead would end up not having an OB/GYN, breaking a friendship and hating and saying horrible things about a woman. Also, regretting being so attached to someone who could agree on taking the job.

* * *

"This has got to be a joke, Richard. What the hell? I'm a way better surgeon than she is, I am a better OB,I'm good enough to keep my own job. She just covered me..." she's furious.

He sighs, and runs a hand through his face, knowing the redhead woman was mad and upset. "Over a year, Addison. The maternity department has never been like this."

"It seems like you don't want me here." She closes her arms over her chest and takes a sit on the chair once again.

Richard inhales, "Addison, we want you here. You're a talented surgeon, we want you to stay." She nods. "But I'm sorry I can't give you that spot. We had discussed this."

"Who's _We_ because if _We _includes me, I think you forgot inviting me to the meeting." She does a gesture with the hand.

"_We_ is me and the board. We discussed it. Rutherford can do it, she has potential, she's good doing what she does. You have a newborn, she has plenty of free time." He says, professionally.

"So, I have less points because I have a child?" Addison asks. "Is that it?" She insists on getting an answer when she realizes Richard is looking for a perfect answer while keeping himself silent.

He rubs his thumb through his married ring. "I apologize for not being able to help on anything else. It's done. We decided." He says.

She rolls her eyes, exhales and takes a moment of silence. "You haven't answered my question yet." That's What she manages to say. She wasn't blaming Isabella for this, not at all. Her daughter was everything and this thing happening was just an unfair act coming from the board, and Richard.

"Addison..."

"Remember when I broke my arm and I exploded in your office? Okay, that, um... that was nothing like what I'm going to do." She stands up from the chair again, turning around it, so she can rest a hand on it. "And you can't fire me this time because I have a contract."

"Are you threatening me?" Richard looks at the woman.

"No, i don't have any material or reason to threat you, I'm just telling you to expect me to leave your office yelling and doing my best scene." She smiles at him, proudly. Spontaneously.

He shakes his head a bit. "Addison, you're not a kid."

"I am not! Exactly! but I'm not getting my position because I have a kid, so, there's no difference." She says, sharply.

"Addie..."

"Enjoy your Friday, Richard." She says, walking out of the office, slamming the door. That totally made people keep an eye on the redhead woman who excited the Chief's office and went through the corridor to take an elevator back to the maternity wing.

* * *

"Y'all heard?" Izzie says, sitting on her part of the bed.

They were in that corridor where they used to spend time in, right in front of the food machine. No one bothered them there, they didn't bother anyone.

Cristina looks at Izzie, who is enjoying her apple. "Momma Shepherd being incredibly dramatic, um, yeah!" Cristina says, taking a sip of her water.

"Hi guys." Meredith says, joining them all, she collapses on the bed, next to Karev. "Lucifer is bitching at me."

"She's being a bitch? Really? After getting a new position she's being a bitch?" George adds. Cristina rolls her eyes, for her, Bambi didn't have opinion. Not a concrete one.

"That's funny. A war between Satan and Lucifer." Izzie giggles.

"Oh, that's why Addison slamed Richard's door? She lost her position?" Meredith doesn't have idea.

* * *

"Addie... Addison!" Derek calls her name when he sees her going down the stairs. It was a coincidence, both were on the way looking for an ER patient's chart. She stops herself.

"Hey." She turns around. "You've heard." She notices the small sad grin on his face.

He nods, going down one more staircase to hold her hand into his. "Yeah. I'm sorry." He says.

She shakes her head and sighs, she's stressed. It hasn't been a good day. "It's alright, at least you should congratulate me for not giving Rutherford any deadline looks." She giggles a bit.

He chuckles. "True. I should give you credit."

"She acts awkward around me." Addison says.

He tries to hold a laugh. "I noticed."

"How did you?" She asks, curious, raising an eyebrow.

"After you slammed that door and went to the maternity wing, I was in a nurse's station and I saw the footage of what was going on at the maternity wing at the moment, not trying to spy though." He says. She chuckles. She feels good, her husband could cheer her up, that was good.

"Oh, so, you saw me almost crashing my body against hers." Addison says.

"You literally almost fell on her." Derek can't hold his laugh anymore, he laughs.

She does that mad but cute face,"It's not funny. My foot hurts a bit still." She says, looking down.

He says, kissing the back of her hand. "Your high heels are a danger."

"Funny. You said they look sexy." She says, letting let go of his hand, going down all the steps, being followed by the handsome McDreamy.

"They do, but maybe too much." That makes her chuckle.

"True." She nods.

They both approach to the nurses station, silent. They ask. For their patient's charts, they get them and thank the nurse.

"Your hair is kinda long, don't you think?" Addison says, noticing on Derek's face.

"You think?" He says, looking up from his chart.

"Yeah." She nods, raising a hand to caress his hair and 'mold' it, she leaves her chart on the table, and takes Derek's chart out of his hands to leave it in the table too. He smiles at her, a cheeky cute, dreamy smile.

"Addison Montgomery and Derek Shepherd themselves." A voice calls. She takes her hand out of his hair, quick enough. Addison and Derek turn around.

"Oh my God! Vivian!" Addison almost screams, speechless. She shows a big smile.

"Vivian!" Derek says, happy to see the woman again. The redhead walks towards the wise woman staring at her.

"It's so good to see you." Addison says, hugging her mentor. Vivian hugs her back. Derek smiles, watching the two women bound again. They end their hug.

"Derek... What are you waiting for?" The surgeon asks, tilting her head. Derek walks to Vivian and hugs her too. It's good having her there after all this time.

"What a pleasant visit." Derek smiles at Vivian after breaking the hug. Addison smiles at both.

"I'm happy I'm here, too. What's up with you two? Why Seattle?" _Thank god she doesn't know anything. _Those were Addison's first thoughts. "I mean, two well known New York surgeons don't move to this... Seattle place." Addison gives Derek a _'she's totally right'_ kinda look. He works his beat on not rolling his eyes dramatically in that exact instant.

"It's windy and cloudy, and trust me, very rainy and cold. But, we have warmed up to _this _place." Addison says. After all, she also was letting the city get inside of her heart instead of keep kicking it like a rock.

Derek nods. Vivian smirks. "Interesting..." addison nods. "I like this new fresh Addison."

"Me too." Derek adds. Addison smiles, cheeky one. Suddenly the hate feeling because of her mother's email, Rutherford taking her position and Richard being unfair, they all fade.

"I thought I wasn't going to see you today, Richard mentioned you weren't working that much lately. What happened? Surgery got you bored?" Vivian Carlsmith notices a weird shift of energy.

"Oh, God. I see Richard didn't tell you that much." Addison replies, exhaling relieved.

Vivian takes a minute and points at both surgeons with both hands. "He did mention some other things, which brings me to ask, where's the plastics area?" She knew.

Derek's eyes widened, so did Addison's. "He told you that?" He asks.

"Don't act like a saint, Derek. I also know about you and Ellis Grey Junior." Vivian says.

"Oh, Vivian, you have made my day." Addison chuckles.

"You haven't answered my question yet." The old woman tilts her head. Addison is surprised to see her wearing salmon scrubs after so many years of not seeing her.

Addison smiles at Vivian and then locks eyes with Derek. "Derek, are you busy now?" She asks.

"No, not until one thirty, why?" He asks, not getting the point. She knew his schedule.

She giggles a bit. "Because we should take Vivian to meet the reason why I haven't worked lately!" She explains. Derek smiles at that. She's planning on visiting the baby shepherd.

He nods. "Oh, that's a lovely idea."

"It is." She says, proud of what she has come up with.

The woman frowns at both young and talented surgeons, not to mention, hot. "What are you hiding?" Vivian chuckles.

"We want you to meet the reason why I was having a maternity leave." Addison explains. Vivian's eyes widen.

"You have a child?!" She sounds excited. Addison nodded and she was happy to receive another hug coming from the mentor who helped her through some hard times in her youthful years.

* * *

"Her name is Isabella." Addison says, developing the tiny human into Vivian's arms. The woman accepted the kid gracefully and stared at her eyes just for a second.

Carlsmith looks at the small baby in awe, "Isabella? I thought you were going to follow our inside joke." Vivian chuckles, holding the baby's cute hand.

"Inside joke?" Derek asks curious, approaching his daughter and Carlsmith. "What inside joke?"

Addison inhales, "After that surgery, remember Alexis Billson's case?" She says.

"Oh, yeah. You kicked everyone's ass that night." Derek nods, looking at his little daughter.

"True." Vivian adds.

Addison smiles, "Vivian and I had a chat with Alexis after the surgery and she called her daughter Alexis too, because she said the feminism was growing inside of her." The redhead and the black haired woman chuckle.

"So I made Addison promise to let the feminism grow inside of her and call her daughter, if she ever had one, just like her. You failed on doing that." Vivian finishes the story.

"I know, I'm sorry Vivian. I should have remembered I had to be much more feminist." Addison shakes her head in disappointment.

Vivian shakes her head slightly and let's a short giggle leave her mouth. " I like her name though, it's Italian. Classy. Close enough." She says.

Derek looks confused, but laughs anyway. "Close enough to being feminist?" He asks.

Addison nods. "It's a very feminist name." His wife diagnoses.

"Really?" He asks, surprised it is.

Vivian nods along Addison. "Bell Hooks? Ain't I a Woman? You never heard of her or the book?" Addison says.

"Um... not that I recall." He chuckles.

_Hi! It took me a while to update this. Sorry. Well, I'm leaving it until here. Sorry!!!! I gotta move on and I think this fanfic has ended. Maybe in the future I will write another chapter, I don't know yet. Right now I'll keep on writing "constantly you", another Addek Fanfic I've been writing lately. Thank you all for reading, reviewing, following the story... sending lots of love to y'all!!!_


	33. Chapter 33 - Finale

**_"What love made us do"_**

**_Chapter 33 - Final Chapter_**

_Hi! Some people asked me to write a last chapter at least, or an epilogue. Whatever, this is SADLY, the last chapter. I'll see if I'll keep on writing it in the future, and I agree on giving this fic a happy goodbye because I want my babies to be HAPPY. So, here we go! Enjoy and please let me know if you enjoyed this. Also; it took me a while to write this, since I wanted the last chapter to be long and something very Addek that OBVIOUSLY includes Christmas_.

•••

**December 23th.**

"Sweetheart, be careful." Addison says in a kind and caring tone, she chuckles a little at the smiling infant who's sitting on the kitchen table. Addison grabs a napkin and cleans a bit of frosting out of Isabella's cheek. It had been a long day at work, and they finally had some family time for the rest of the week.

Mom obviously doesn't want her child to get her new light pink sweater to get ruined with anything. Specially not when the sweater has a Christmas pine on it. It was Christmas time, the favorite season of the Shepherds.

The fireplace was on all the time, the tree already decorated, and they just had some things left to do.

"Yummy!" The little redhead exclaims, taking another bit of frosting into her tiny finger and licking it.

"Don't eat all the frosting, Bel. It's for cooking, ok? You're gonna help me, right?" Addison asks her little girl and strokes her small hand. Those shiny blue eyes look up to her mom, the toddler nods.

"Yes, please." Isabella says.

"Awesome." Addison says in a cheerful voice, leaning towards her daughter to develop a kiss on her forehead. She opens the cooking book next to Isabella and starts searching for the recipe of Christmas ginger cookies.

A knock on the door of the kitchen makes the two redheads react to look at it. Derek is staring at them with a cheeky and charming smile.

"Daddy!" Four year old Isabella says euphoric, clapping her hands.

"Hello sweetheart!" Derek says, grabbing Isabella from the kitchen table into his warm and strong arms, kissing her temple and tickling her belly, to make her chuckle. She kisses her dad's cheek.

"Hey, how was your walk?" Addison greets him, approaching the pair of shepherds, she's smiling widely at her handsome husband and adorable daughter.

"It was good, cold though." Derek says, leaning on to peck his wife on the lips. "Hmm, looks like you two are busy." He says, saying that as a reference to the flour, the sugar, the eggs and many other ingredients on the table. "Want some help?" Derek asks, looking into Isabella's blue ocean eyes.

"No, it's alright. It's all covered." Addison winks.

"Mom's cookin'!" Isabella informs her father. Derek nods cheerfully.

Derek wipes a bit of frosting away from the kid's chin, Addison rolls her eyes playfully, Isabella loved vanilla frosting and she wasn't going to give up on it. "What about you? Are you cooking with mom too?" He asks. Addison tilts her head a little, staring at both.

"Yeah!" Bella confirms with a cute nod.

Derek smiles and looks at Addison. "So, you allow her in the kitchen but you don't allow me?" He asks playfully.

Addison rolls her eyes playfully again, slightly shaking her head and going back on looking for the recipe.

"Mom's makin' cookies." Bella says, smiling.

"Yummy!" Derek imitates her girl and kisses her temple again, stroking her hair.

Addison sighs. "Can you give Tarek a bath? I would but I'm kinda busy here."

"I have a better idea. What if I cook with Bel, and you go to give Tarek his bath?" Derek says, smiling at his charming wife, letting Isabella sit on the table kitchen again.

"Yes!" Isabella approves.

"Alright. You guys win." Addison says, surrendering, moving forward to her husband, kissing him sweetly on the lips.

"Ew." That's all what Bella manages to say.

"Did she just-?" Derek laughs after breaking the kiss.

"No kissin." Bella says. Derek and Addison chuckle at that. They had a very smart kid.

"We have some haters." Addison chuckles, staring at her precious daughter.

"We do." Derek agrees. "Where did she learn that by the way?"

"We shouldn't watch any more comedy shows with her." She suggests.

* * *

Addison ends up inside of the guests room bathroom, giving their dog a bath. Tarek was getting older and older, he was Isabella's best friends besides her pre-school besties, Lucy and Amanda.

After Isabella's first birthday, Addison and Derek decided to move to a bigger place, a house specially. They needed more space, not only because of Isabella growing up, but because they had Tarek and Addison's part of the closet wasn't enough. Not to mention, they didn't have a guests room, which was needed.

When Derek saw the house he knew it was the one. The fireplace remembered him a lot of that place he went to with Addison years ago, that place with the big bed. The master bedroom had a bigger closet, something Addison was obviously going to love.

There was a perfect room for Isabella, and two other extra rooms. At the moment one of them was for guests and the other one was extra, maybe to their future, if they wanted another kid, or they wanted an office. But the room didn't have any meaning right now. It was extra and that was it.

The living room was lovely, right next to the dining room, big enough to receive the Shepherd sisters for special celebrations, or Richard and Adele that sometimes were invited for dinner parties. The house was near Derek's land, both Addison and Derek enjoyed having to take the ferryboats to get home. Isabella also loved the ferryboats.

The door of the bathroom opens, Bella enters the bathroom.

"Want help, mommy?" Isabella asks in a cute tone. Addison looks at her and grins immediately.

Addison shakes her head, still massaging Tarek's wet fur. He was a good dog, with the time he started to get used to baths. "No, thank you princess. Are you and daddy done cooking?" Addison asks, following the toddler walk to the chair next to the door, she sat in there and kept on observing her mom wash their dog.

"Nope. I bored." The kid explains. Addison chuckles.

"You got bored? How?" Addison asks surprised.

Isabella shakes her head. "I'm not into cooking." Bella explains, making Addison laugh. She was quite clever to be only four years.

"I see." Addison nods. "Well, it's okay if you don't like it." She says.

* * *

Derek opens the bathroom door after ten minutes, finding Addison and Bella laughing while Tarek moved his body to get rid of the water.

"Ew!" Isabella says. Addison would have said the same, but she was used to it, she had been changing from being the typical classy New York socialite woman.

"Tarek!" Addison laughs. Derek laughs along.

"Bel, what happened? You left me." Derek asks, after their laugh.

"She got bored." Addison explains. Isabella was maybe too little to be thankful her mom replied for her, but she gave her dad an apologizing cheeky smile.

Bel walks towards him and hugs his leg. "Sorry daddy."

* * *

Derek curls up in bed next to Addison, she tries to watch Friends by not being disturbed, but Derek is already being too caring. He wraps his arms around her waist, resting both hands on her stomach.

"Derek, let me watch, please?" Addison asks, turning around, facing him.

"Ugh, Fine." He rolls his eyes, adding a giggle.

"God, I almost forgot." Addison says, unfolding herself from Derek's embrace, turning the light on from her nightstand. She opens her gutter. She closes it after she gets what she wants. She closes the gutter and gets comfortable in bed again. "Look!"

He frowns. "You went today? Why didn't you call me, I could have accompanied you." Derek says, giving her puppy eyes, grabbing the picture from her hand.

"I'm sorry, I know you would have wanted to go too, but you had Mrs. Holt surgery, she needed you more than I did." Addison says, with a smile, seeing how her husband looked so thrilled at the picture. She moves some hair away from her face.

"Are you feeling any better by the way?" He asks, caring.

"Kind of. I'm nauseous sometimes, and I have headaches." Addison complains.

"I'm sorry." He kisses her temple.

"It's Alright." She says, smiling.

"I want you to start showing." Derek says sweetly, pressing his lips to hers. She smiles at him after he breaks the kiss.

"Derek I'm only ten weeks, it doesn't work that faster." She says, stroking his cheek. He grabbed it and kissed it.

"I think we should tell Bella on Christmas." Derek shares his thoughts, giving another look at those pictures of their small baby growing inside of Addison.

Addison gets closer to Derek. "Me too. Hope she'll accept it." Derek allows himself to rest his head on his pillow, still smiling and looking at the pictures.

"Why wouldn't she?" He asks, she moves closer and rests her head on his chest.

"She's as selfish as you are." She chuckles a little, being caressed by his hand.

"I'm not selfish." He looks down to her, but all he can see is red hairs.

"You sometimes are." She says.

"We all are." He starts stroking her hair. "Hope it's a boy. I need a mate to go fishing." Addison moves from his chest and rests on her own pillow, so she could have a better view of his face.

"Isabella loves fishing." Addison says, defending their daughter. She was adventurous and sometimes too fearless for her tender age.

Derek chuckles. "Yeah, but she gets sad when she sees the fish get hurt."

"She's sensible, you can't blame her." Addison chuckles too, remembering that one time they went fishing and she looked at the fish with glassy eyes.

"That's exactly why I need a fishing mate." Derek says.

She lets her hand rest on his chest. "Gotta admit I want you to have a fishing mate, too. It would be nice, to have a little Derek around the house." She chuckles at the thought. A little black haired boy playing with Tarek and Isabella in the backyard during summer.

Derek smiles, a dreamy smile. "Isabella would dress him like a doll."

"That reminds me of me and Archer." Addison chuckles.

"That reminds me of Nancy, Liz and me." He rolls his eyes dramatically.

No one at the hospital knew about their happy news, they haven't had told anything to Derek's family or Addison's. During the past four years Addison had to deal with visits from Bizzy and the captain one time per year. Every time it was June 1st, she was going to hear a knock on the door and be surprised by Bizzy and The Captain. And once Archer came too.

Isabella was a fan of her grandmothers, she loved both a lot, Carolyn specially. For sure, Carolyn was a warm and caring woman, kind and gentle, not to mention an amazing grandmother. Bizzy was kinda cold sometimes, but enjoyed the toddler's company each time they could reunite. She loved seeing Addison as a caring and stressed mother 24/7, it was something Bizzy always wished she could get to picture.

Nancy and Amelia were the ones that visited the most, specially Nancy, who had much more time than Amelia. Auntie Nancy was definitely Isabella's favorite person in the Shepherd family. She didn't like Kate, she was okay with Liz, Amelia was nice, but Nancy was her favorite.

"I'm tired." Addison says, grabbing the control remote, turning the TV off.

"Me too." Derek rolls away and leaves the pictures on his nightstand, he turns his lamp off and rolls around again to meet Addison's greenish eyes.

"Goodnight, honey." Addison says, kissing his lips sweetly. Letting him get the kiss to grow a little further, but then she stops it and smirks. "Not tonight."

"Oh, come on." Derek says.

"Not happening." She pecks his lips and turns around, turning her lamp off, leaving them both in the middle of the darkness. She rolls again, getting comfortable in bed, her toes reaching for his toes.

"Goodnight, Addie."

By the time they are almost asleep, the door of their bedroom opens, Addison and Derek both react the same, they open their eyes and give each other a look.

"Mommy? Daddy?" Isabella's half sleepy half sad voice says it all. Addison gets out of bed quickly, walking to the entrance of the room, where their daughter is standing.

"Come here, baby." She holds her in her arms and walks back to her bed, leaving her in the middle of the bed, she finds Derek's arm and touches it.

Addison gets inside of the bed, cuddling with her baby girl.

"What happened, sweetie?" Derek asks, holding her small hand. Her glassy eyes reflect into Derek's view thanks to the lights from the street.

"Bad dreams." Isabella's sounds shaky and sad.

"Aw." Derek feels sorry for the poor toddler, he moves closer and embraces her.

The three of them end up sleeping all together in the same bed.

* * *

**December 24th**

"Bel, Stop. Please." Addison asks for her daughter's mercy when she feels those tiny warm hands playing with her face, touching her lips, cheeks, nose and forehead. She's obviously trying to wake her up.

"Momma... it's Christmous." Isabella explains her concern. Addison immediately opens her eyes and chuckles at how cute it is when her little girl tries to pronounce _Christmas. _

Addison notices Derek is still asleep somehow, the toddler sits on Addison's lap. She's wearing that cute pajama Addison bought for her, it had a Christmas deer on it, she looked so cute wearing it.

"Did you sleep well?" Addison asks, still a little sleepy. Her daughter nods and grabs her hand. As always, the toddler goes for the price; She sees Addison's married ring on her finger and tries to take it out. "Hey, you robber." Addison chuckles at her many tries.

The redhead woman takes her ring off and lets her kid touch it gently and examine it. "Pretty." Bella says. Addison takes Isabella by her two cheeks and makes her head come closer to her lips, so she can develop a kiss to her forehead.

Addison takes the ring back and wears it again. Derek starts moving, which means he's waking up.

"Hi girls." He says, sleepy. He hasn't opened his eyes yet, but Addison and Isabella know him long enough to know he's a heavy sleeper.

"Good morning sleeping beauty." She teases him, letting one of her hands caress his black hair. He groans. Isabella gets comfortable on top of her mother, resting her head on her chest. He opens his eyes finally and grabs Addison's hand.

Derek sits on the bed comfortably and smiles at the two redheads bounding. "Mornin'." Bella says, leaving her mother's lap for a most interesting lap. Derek allows her to touch his face and examine his teeth, she was a very curious little girl.

"I'll go prepare some coffee." Addison stands up from the bed and takes a sip of the glass of water that was on her night stand.

He looks at her. "I'll go with you."

"No, stay with her." She says, enjoying the view. Her two favorite people cuddling.

He chuckles and frowns in a funny way at her. "You're finally breaking your no caffeine rule?" Bella looks up to her mom and then back to Derek's face.

"Kinda. Well, yes. I remember once I drunk a whole cup of coffee behind your back while expecting Bella, she's alright. Hopefully this one will be alright too." Addison says, with a grin. Isabella doesn't say anything, she just looks curious and strangely to both of her parents.

A double knock on the door surprises Addison, she's not expecting anyone the morning of Christmas Eve, maybe the neighbor needing something. There's a black Mercedes car outside and all she knows is that this means an unpleasant visit. With a cup of coffee on her hand she walks to the front door, opening it.

Yes, unpleasant visit for sure. "Bizzy?"

"You can call me mother, you know?" The Forbes woman enters the house. "Your dad is still in the car, probably putting his coat on."

"What?" Addison whispers. She wasn't expecting any of this. A knock on the still opened door.

"Hello! Merry Christmas." The captain says, entering the house. Addison closes the door.

"Um... what happened? Did someone die?" Addison asks, following her folks into the living room.

"It's Christmas and we thought maybe you, Derek and little Bella wanted us to join." Bizzy shares, sitting properly on their couch.

"Why would you think that?" Addison asks, giving a sip to her cup of coffee.

"Don't be rude. We took a six hour flight just to see you."

The redhead shakes her head. "Mom, dad, stop it. Alright? Why are you two here? You only appear once per year and that's enough." Addison sighs. Bizzy grins at the word _mom_.

"It's Christmas, Addie." The captain says. "Archer is in Australia, we were alone and decided of coming here." The man explains.

Her mother puts a finger to her temple. "You make it sound like this is the worst news you've received!" Beatrice overreacting as always.

"Alright, you two... don't move." Addison says. Both of her parents nods and start looking around at the Christmas decorations they had. The pictures in the coffee table, the fireplace. Addison walked to the kitchen, barefoot still. She took a cup and filled it with coffee for Derek. She takes the cup into her two hands carefully, leaving her own behind in the sink, even if it was half empty. She goes upstairs, finding Isabella and Derek playing games with each other hands.

"Derek..." Addison says, half panicked, half stressed. She sits on the edge of the bed and gives him his cup of coffee.

Addison takes Isabella into her arms so her husband could drink his coffee in peace. "What's up?" He asks, not understanding why the expression his wife had.

Addison sighs. "The captain and Bizzy..."

"I'm not following." Derek is still confused as to why she's so tense and stressed this Christmas morning. It was their favorite season, there was no need to be this way. He could read it all over her face, she was in a nervous crisis. He takes a sip of his coffee.

"They are downstairs." She shrugs.

Derek almost chokes with his coffee. "You're kidding?"

"Does it look like I'm kidding?" Addison asks, furrowing an eyebrow.

Derek is speechless. "They are here, like... here here?"

"Who's here?" Isabella asks, looking up to her mother greenish eyes.

"Grandma and grandpa are downstairs!" Addison says, acting her cheerful tone to not make their daughter think bad of her grandparents. A big smile forms into the toddler's lips.

"I wanna go say hi!" The kid exclaimed happily.

"Okay, let's go see them." Addison offers. She's doing it for Isabella's fun and happiness. She takes the small redhead on her arms much more firmly, puts her slippers on and goes down the stairs, leaving Derek in there alone, enjoying his cup of coffee.

Addison lets go of Isabella as soon as they reach the first floor. The little girl runs into the living room, spotting two of her favorite people.

"Merry Christmous!" The angelical girl greets her two grandparents, running in the captain's direction so he could hug her. Bizzy laughs at that cute way of pronouncing _Christmas._

"Merry Christmas Bella!" The captain hugs her and kisses her forehead, leaving her free from his embrace after some seconds. The tiny girl moves now to embrace her grandmother.

"Merry Christmous Gran!" Bizzy kisses the toddler's cheek and joins her into her embrace. _Gran _was the way Bizzy was known by Isabella. _Nana_ was Carolyn's grandmother nickname.

Bizzy breaks their hug, letting the kid get comfortable on her lap. "Merry Christmas, dear! Look at you. You're so big. You've been growing up too fast." Bizzy strokes her granddaughter's cheek.

"She looks just like Addison." The captain shares his thoughts.

Addison sits on the sofa next to the fireplace, staring at Isabella's happy face. "Nah, I wasn't that cute." She chuckles at Bella touching the perls of Bizzy's necklace.

"I agree. Addison was much more stubborn and didn't like visitors." Bizzy says, moving some hair out of Bella's face.

"Remember That Christmas Archer broke your favorite collection plate, _mom_? It wasn't him, it was me." Addison grins.

"Addison, you gotta be-" Bizzy gets cut off.

"Merry Christmas!" Derek enters the living room with his best smile, wearing his robe instead of his Christmas sweater, because Addison already took that one from him and was wearing it right now.

* * *

Derek had prepared the dinner for their Christmas Eve. Addison had to add two more spots in the table for her folks. Isabella helped on getting the table set and she also helped Derek to bake some homemade bread, well, she pretty much just stared at what her dad was doing.

Bizzy and the captain spent more of the day inside of the house, bounding with Isabella. The grandparents and the granddaughter watching Christmas movies and playing table games. Addison took Tarek for a short walk and came back home just when there was her favorite Christmas movie on the TV, so she took place next to her mother.

After that whole and long day, they had dinner. The pregnancy announcement didn't come up, at all. Addison told Bizzy in the kitchen while Isabella and Derek were setting up the table. Addie explained that she and Derek wanted to tell Isabella by themselves the next morning so she asked and begged her mother not to come up with any references to her pregnancy.

"Your cooking is wonderful, Derek. Maybe you can teach Addison a bit about it." Bizzy shares, after eating a bite of that incredible turkey. Addison was cutting Bella's turkey into small pieces so she could be able to eat them, the redhead tried her best on not rolling her eyes.

"Thank you. I've actually taught her some basic things. She's better than when we lived in New York." Derek chuckles, teasing his wife. The Captain and Bizzy share a laugh too.

The Forbes Montgomery family was always so polite, classy and perfectionist... that was probably one of the things Derek hated the most; Being perfectionist. Somehow Bizzy and The Captain could behave in a most pleasant way when they were in a warm and peaceful ambient, even if that freaked Addison out.

Isabella drinks a sip of her water in her plastic tinker bell cup. "Mommy cooks good, Gran." She shares her thoughts to the conversation.

"Thank you, Bel." Addison smiles at her daughter.

"She does?" Bizzy asks.

The smart toddler nods. "Yup. I luv her brownies."

"You bake!?" Bizzy asks Addison, she might explode into laughs.

Addison nods, giving Isabella her small fork after finally ending on cutting the turkey and potatoes. "I do, sometimes."

"By the way, how's work? You haven't mentioned anything related to medicine since this morning." The captain asks, almost like he really cares. Maybe they have changed for the better after their Granddaughter's birth. She was a miracle and a reason to have a healthier relationship.

"Great. Last week my sister and I worked on this massive tumor. It was giant, for real giant. That giant that needed two surgeons to be accomplished."

"Auntie Amy!" Isabella says, knowing recognizing the mention of Derek's sister and relationing it with the youngest Shepherd sister visit.

Addison chuckles. "Yes, auntie Amy." Derek agrees with Isabella, he nods, and takes a sip of his wine.

"What about you, Addison?" Her father asks.

"Well, now I have shorter shifts, I leave at five pm every day and I arrive there at five am, obviously i had to change my schedule to have more time with Bella. I've been back on being chief of maternal and neonatal surgery after my colleague had that position for almost three years. But Well, that will not last that much since I'm gonna need her to cover my spot again." Addison says proudly of her achievements.

Her life lately was a busy and emotional rollercoaster, but everything was alright. There was no bigger joy to come home early and find Isabella drawing something for her and her dad, of finding a new camp of dolls on the corner of the living room. Derek always joined the two redheads around six for dinner and then he would take Isabella to her bed until she could fall asleep completely, being able to find Addison in bed ready to cuddle with her husband and share hospital gossip if they had any.

It was a perfect plan.

Their perfect picture.

After Bizzy and The Captain left their house to their hotel room, the three Shepherds took place in the living room in front of that warm fireplace.

Addison helped Isabella to put a little jar with a couple of cinnamon and ginger cookies and a glass of milk. Isabella was excited for Santa Claus to come by their house and taste their homemade cookies, not to mention, leave the doll she hoped she was going to get from the elfs.

The three Shepherds were cuddling together, Isabella asking cute and curious questions. Derek then would share a funny annectode about him and his sister when he was a kid, making both girls laugh. After almost half hour their little Shepherd fell asleep, heavily.

The sound of Isabella's calm sleeping breath, the pounding rain and the little sound of the fire, the wood burning from the fireplace, it was all the sound that Addison and Derek were enjoying this Christmas Eve.

Addison had to admit sometimes she missed waking up in New York every Christmas morning and find the streets filled by snow. All covered by that incredible white. Instead, now she had Seattle, cold wind and rain... but the smell of ginger and cinnamon cookies were the same, the smell of her husband was the same, the Christmas songs were listened as cheerful as they were listened in The Brownstone. Her company used to be all she ever wanted, but she got a bonus... two bonuses. Isabella and that he or she. It was all they wanted.

"Hey, are you falling asleep?" Derek asks, noticing the calm sigh coming out from Addison. The redhead was resting her head on his shoulder. Bella was asleep on Derek's lap, she had wrapped both of her short and small arms to his big and strong arm.

"No, I'm just resting. It was a long day." Addison says softly, without the intention of waking their little girl.

"I wanted to ask you something." Derek says. She knows it's something good, judging by his tone.

"What is it?" She moves a bit away, to be able to look into his blue breathtaking eyes. "Is something wrong?" She asks after a few minutes of silence.

"No, it's just... you're beautiful." Derek says, grinning at her. She shakes her head a little. "Really beautiful. How did I got so lucky?" He asks.

She loves that sweet and cheesy part coming from him. She leans on and kisses him, deeply and passionately. She breaks the kiss and looks into those deep eyes again. "Tell me, what is it?"

"I... Well... remember that long time ago? When I asked you to marry me?" Derek asks. Addison chuckles and looks weirdly at him.

She looks down to his hand grabbing hers. "You mean us being young and reckless?" She chuckles a bit again.

"No, no... I'm saying when you were pregnant, after the whole..." he gets cut off.

"Twelve year old intern and manwhore thing?" She finishes the sentence.

"Yeah. That." They both nod at each other.

There's more silence, and all that happens is both of them glancing at each other. "What is it, Derek?" She ends the silence.

He squeezes her hand, gently. "I never asked you properly, and you wanted me to. I don't really know how to make it be perfect... so, I'm just gonna talk."

"Ok. Talk to me then." She grins, letting her head rest on the pillow she had.

"A week ago I found a picture I took of you when we went to the Hamptons for that New Year's Eve. You were expecting Isabella. Somehow that picture made me realize how much we have been through and have pushed through. Look at us. We are enjoying our favorite season and our favorite people. You made us grow. It's all you. If you didn't appear that night in Seattle and took me out of the Meredith Grey fling I could have stayed with her and not ever get to where we are now. You've been there for me, you have helped me, helped my family, you have been the greatest sweetheart. I don't know a better person."

"Derek... I..." she has glassy eyes, emotional eyes. He keeps on being the best husband.

"You're pregnant. With our second child. You are making me a dad again. You have given me so many beautiful presents, do you realize that?"

"I do..." Addison says, wiping a tear from her eye.

"You know that you count on me, right? We are Addison and Derek." He says.

"We are." She nods.

"I want to marry you again. I want to do it. We didn't when we decided to have a clean slate, but I think now it's the best time. I've been a dick but somehow you never gave up on me. Thank you for that. I'm here for you, I'm present now, I care. I love you, Addison." He says. He's such a romantic man.

"I love you too." She says, caressing his hand.

"Will you marry me?" He asks.

"I'll marry you."

"Come here." Derek is now holding her by her jawline, making her move closer to him.

He kisses her and keeps on stroking her jawline while letting the kiss go further. It's soft, sweet, caring... even loving. She's not gonna get horny right now, for sure. It's not happening. Bella is still in there, asleep maybe, but she deserved some respect.

She breaks the kiss and moves closer to him, letting her head rest on his shoulder again. It feels good. He kisses her temple.

"Merry Christmas, Der." She says, closing her eyes for a minute. Her mind concentrated on her everything right now. And her everything is that small but powerful family they have created together.

* * *

"No wine for you, Addie?" Amelia asks. It's New Year's Eve. Isabella has been fascinated with the snow, since she has barely have seen that much snow in her whole life, and what is better than New Years at Nancy's classic Connecticut house. Lovely fireplace, warm family.

"No. She's not drinking tonight." Derek excuses her. Addison rolls her eyes.

"Derek!" Amelia says with a smirk. Derek just frowns at his little sister. "Have you realized that New Years Eve are like some kind of typical day we're you two get the family to know there's a baby on the way."

"How did you-?" He asks. Addison gets comfortable on the couch next to Derek. Nancy is inside of the kitchen, probably preparing herself a drink.

"Oh, I know." Amelia says simply. Amy was next to Addison, so she looked down that almost numb bump.

"You told her?" Derek asks confused.

"I haven't said a word." Addison says.

"Ok. Where's Bella by the way?" Derek asks, now concerned.

Nancy enters the room, with a martini in hand. "She's upstairs with Hilary, playing with dolls." The brown haired woman explains, sitting down in her usual spot. "For God's sake... you got her pregnant again, brother?"

"How does everyone assume that so easily?" Derek asks. Amelia and Addison chuckle.

"I need an answer." Nancy insists.

"We are expecting." Addison confirms. "Twelve weeks." Derek grabs her hand, in sign that she didn't have to do that.

"Twelve! God, almost like when you had Isabella, remember?" Nancy adds.

"Yeah!" Amelia agrees. "Congrats sis." Amy says, hugging the redhead. Addison loves the Shepherds, come on, they are all crazy but incredible. "You too bro." Amy adds. Derek smiles at the youngest sister.

"Congrats you two. So sad mom, Kate and Liz can't be here to hear the news first. Better for us." Nancy jokes, making the three of them chuckle. Then Harold enters the room and sits next to Nancy. Nancy could be usually heartless or seem like it a lot, but she was actually a softie.

Hilary and Bella come down the stairs.

"Hi." Bella says happy, she walks towards Nancy and grabs her free hand.

"Seems likeshe has a favorite." Amelia rolls her eyes, stroking Hilary's brown hair.

"Isabella is a weird kind of mix between your brother and I. I really don't know how but she manages to love my mother." Addison jokes.

"No damn way." Nancy laughs.

* * *

Twenty three weeks of pregnancy really suit Addison. Spring in the Hamptons is wonderful, warm and always sunny. Amelia helps Addison with the last details of her white dress. Bella is sitting on a chair looking at her beautiful mother and funny auntie.

"Mom, you look beautiful." Bella says with her cute tone. Addison looks down to the toddler, she has a high pony tail and she's wearing a white dress just like her mom, and light pink shoes that complete her outfit.

Addison is almost ready, "Thank you, sweetheart." She gives herself a last look on the mirror.

"Your kid is right. You're stunning." Amelia agrees.

Addison rubs her stomach after feeling his son kicking. It feels like he wanted to agree too. "It's time, isn't it?" Addison asks to Amelia. She's a little nervous. It's her second wedding but it feels happier and much more magical.

"Whenever you want to." Amelia says simply, grinning at her sister in law. The youngest sister is wearing a red dress and black heels, she's dressed as a guest. "By the way, I hope Mark didn't bring a guitar, because I think this time I might pee of laughter if Derek sings a cheesy song to you."

"Oh God, I didn't even think about that." Addison chuckles.

"Mommy, Can we go now?" Bella asks.

"Just a minute, okay?"

"I have an idea, why don't you go downstairs and tell your daddy that the bride is going downstairs very soon?" Amelia tells the little girl.

"Okay!" Bella leaves the room as soon as she can, going down. Amelia walks to the window and sees the small kid run through the carpet they settled in their backyard that had a wonderful view to the beach. The little girl informs something to Derek and he nods with a big smile.

"I'm ready." Addison says, taking a deep breath. Amelia grabs her hand and squeezes it.

"Before we go... thank you for making my brother happy. He has been through some hard crap but you managed to get him out of that dark cave he was living in for so long. You're his hero." Amelia says. That makes Addison's heart feel so warm and safe.

Addison shakes her head and chuckles. "If I walk down that aisle in tears is all your fault." Amelia rolls her eyes playfully.

"Shut up!" She embraces her sister in law in a strong hug.

"Thank you Amy." Addison whispers in her ear.

"Nae, thank you for coming." Addison hugs her best friend. Naomi hugs her back and enjoys that moment for a while.

"I couldn't not come. You look beautiful." Naomi says as she breaks the hug.

"Thank you."

"My best friend was getting married again, I couldn't fail you." She adds. "Where's Derek by the way?"

"Probably with Mark and Sam. Where's Maya?" Addison asks.

Naomi points in a direction. "Over there with Bella. She's beautiful though. She's your clone." Both friends chuckle.

"I see Bella is showing Maya her new teddy bear." Addison rubs her stomach and smiles at her daughter.

Naomi nods. "She showed it to me too. Archer being a cool uncle? That's kinda weird."

"Gotta admit is creepy." Addison makes Naomi laugh.

"May I please get your attention?" Derek has the microphone on his hand, making everyone including his gorgeous wife to look at him. "Well, um, no, this time I didn't write any cheesy song about how much I love and appreciate my wife. There's no poem either, nothing... just a happy man that feels like sharing some words."

Everyone looks at Derek. Addison smiles widely at him, they exchange a cute look. "Today we are reaching twenty three weeks of expecting our baby boy... second kid. Finally a fishing mate, sorry Mark." That makes people chuckle, including Richard Webber, who's next to Addison's family.

"We still don't have a name for him yet, though. Um, well... i just feel like thanking Addison. We should all thank her. She's the literal glue of this whole family and without her and her strength, compassion, and imperfect but beautiful way of being... we couldn't be here."

She feels how her tears form into her eyes.

"She's a great and dedicated friend," Derek gives Naomi a look. "A talented surgeon," he looks into Addison's greenish and glassy eyes, "a wonderful daughter, even if she's stubborn and gets annoyed easily, She's a great sister to my own sisters..." that brings some laughs too.

"But most importantly she's the mother of my children, sorry, _our _children and she's an incredible wife and mother. Maybe not the best cook but she's amazing. I really... I really don't know a better person."

"Daddy! I wanna go up." Bella yells, trying to get on stage. Derek helps her up and lets her take place on his hip. He approaches the microphone to Bella. "I love you mom and dad." She says. Leaving everyone in awe. Derek leans and whispers something on Isabella's ear. "You our hero!" She chuckles.

Addison's tears roll down her cheeks, Naomi smiles widely at her best friend and pats her back. Derek leaves the microphone on the floor of the stage and goes down of it, letting Bella be free. He walks towards his wife and strokes her cheek.

"Don't cry..." Derek asks, wiping a tear from her cheek. She shakes her head and grabs his hand.

"I love you, Derek." Addison says holding back some other forming tears. She leans on and kisses him sweetly.

Their kiss breaks. "I ruined my make up for you, you see how catastrophic this was?" Addison jokes, making him chuckle.

"I love you too."

There was no cheesy song, or poem, or romantic novel... but there was, for sure, two hearts made for heart each other.

•••

**_The end_**


End file.
